Discerning Having a Baby

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relstudent said:
Its more of my wife’s concern. She had a friend who became pregnant out of wedlock and feels somewhat jealous. She doesnt want to feel like “Well I deserve a baby more than she does” or have her jealously make her want a baby to “get back at her”

She also is shy and part of her feels guilty about being the center of attention.
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Now that makes more sense. It may not be jealousy that she is feeling but the natural pangs a woman feels when she longs for a baby. God put that longing in our hearts!! To some extent, she may be jealous, but do you think the “jealousy” may just be highlighting her natural longing? I still can feel envy of a mom holding her new baby! It doesn’t matter how many I have, babies just tug at my heartstrings! My envy was never a motivation to have more, but just a way that I recognized God’s call to be open.

Being pregnant will garner a lot of attention, but don’t worry, after the baby is born, all the attention will go to the baby!! 😛
 
relstudent said:
Is it important to wait until we would both finish our undergrad before the baby would be born?
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I have been tryng to just make general observations and not too much particular advice. You have to decide on the particulars yourself. For most cases, I would say waiting would seem smart. But, if you can manage it without student loans, without needing daycare, etc, it may not be that important to wait.
 
MomaMary8 said:
Now that makes more sense. It may not be jealousy that she is feeling but the natural pangs a woman feels when she longs for a baby. God put that longing in our hearts!! To some extent, she may be jealous, but do you think the “jealousy” may just be highlighting her natural longing? I still can feel envy of a mom holding her new baby! It doesn’t matter how many I have, babies just tug at my heartstrings! My envy was never a motivation to have more, but just a way that I recognized God’s call to be open.

Being pregnant will garner a lot of attention, but don’t worry, after the baby is born, all the attention will go to the baby!! 😛
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It is definitely highlighting her own feelings. She is one of those people who is absolutely born to be a mother.
 
After talking about it I think we be trying for our first child this October. My wife wants to wait until she knows her summer classes (which she needs to take next summer) will be accounted for in our planning along with negotiating finals week
 
relstudent said:
My wife and I have been married over a year and are practicing NFP. We both are in our Junior/Senior year of college and have been discussing children. We do not want to postpone children any longer than the situation requires, but being college students and very close to finishing, we do not feel we are called to have children at this time. Not to sound selfish, but my wife and I would love to have a child as soon as possible. My wife will be graduating in a year and a half, and around that time I will be entering graduate school. Looking into the future we see that the financial stability at that time may not be the best either.

From those of your who have discerned when to have a child: what advice would you give. We are currently open to the possibility, but are abstaining because of our financial situation. This would be our first child, and any advice would be appreciated.
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How exciting! And I don’t necessarily believe this is one of those questions that there is one best answer. Every couple and every situation may have it’s own individual answer . . .
With that said, here is a great online article that discusses Preparing to Start a Family from a Christian perspective that may offer better advice than I personally could. I hope you find it helpful!
 
relstudent said:
After talking about it I think we be trying for our first child this October. My wife wants to wait until she knows her summer classes (which she needs to take next summer) will be accounted for in our planning along with negotiating finals week
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👍 May God bless you!
 
We would try now, but we really are afraid with dealing with living apart during the pregnancy
 
Bear in mind that there are unexpected developments. I know a woman who is in school and 1) discovered she was going to be having twins and 2) had to have an emergency delivery at 28.5 weeks. Instead of the babies appearing in May (after the end of the school year) they were born right smack in the middle of the term and then she spent the rest of the term living at the NICU. Bed rest and physical restrictions are also possibilities. Pregnancy is tricky!

Expect the unexpected, and don’t set up your plans to only work if everything goes perfectly.

Best wishes!
 
Xantippe said:
Bear in mind that there are unexpected developments. I know a woman who is in school and 1) discovered she was going to be having twins and 2) had to have an emergency delivery at 28.5 weeks. Instead of the babies appearing in May (after the end of the school year) they were born right smack in the middle of the term and then she spent the rest of the term living at the NICU. Bed rest and physical restrictions are also possibilities. Pregnancy is tricky!

Expect the unexpected, and don’t set up your plans to only work if everything goes perfectly.

Best wishes!
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I agree… but a difficult pregnancy (or a normal pregnancy) would be hard in any part of the forseeable future. We have determined to trust God that what ever should happen will be for the best. That is the dilemma right now… how much is discerning now is not right, and how much is it the fear that things wont work out.
 
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