Divorce by Text Message

[cathopologist]

[Friday, 15 August 2008

Last week defenders of Islamic law received a publicity blow when a Malaysian court evoked Sharia law to allow a man to divorce his wife by text message.

Yes, text message. As in: “Am dvrcng u”.

The decision was, quite rightly, condemned by women’s rights groups in Malaysia, who say to condone such frivolity with Islamic law highlights the way it is inherently bias towards men and leaves women with the short end of the stick.

Under Sharia law, a man can divorce a woman simply by announcing his intentions. This is followed by a three month “cooling off” period before the divorce can be finalized, to create an opportunity for resolution. However, if a woman wants a divorce, she must go before a court to seek a divorce, and she must prove her husband has an inadequacy - usually impotency or extended absence. If not, she has no right to divorce him.

Sharia law has its roots in the 7th century Koran, and in personal examples set by Prophet Mohammed. Islamists who see themselves defending the faith have ignored calls to change this legal system to reflect the improvement in women’s status in the modern world, saying that God’s word stands the test of time.

The irony of this text message ruling is that it subverts both liberals’ desire for more modern interpretations of the Koran (you don’t get much more modern in the Islamic world than divorce by text message) and Islamists’ own goal to uphold the seriousness of marriage.

The issue of text-messaged divorces has been a long-standing topic of debate among feminists and a new, tech-savvy generation of Islamists both here and elsewhere in the Islamic world.

Many Islamic countries, including Malaysia have had long-standing amendments to family law, requiring divorces be brought before a court. But as in many countries, Sharia courts and their rulings have steadily encroached onto state legal systems.

Norhayati Kaprawi, a program director at Sisters in Islam, a Malaysian NGO, said this latest divorce ruling represents a worrying erosion of women’s rights in her country, coinciding with the rise of an Islamist political party that won almost a third of the vote in recent parliamentary elections.

“Court rulings like this over text messages, and earlier ones facilitating polygamous marriages, send a pretty clear message to men that they can treat women disrespectfully and get away with it,” said Kaprawi.

Dr Abdul Hamid Othman, the government’s adviser on religious affairs, was quoted by the New Straits Times daily newspaper defending the text message approach as “another form of writing.”

But for Karprawi and thousands of women like her, a text-message is belittling.
“Whilst many women and men court each by text message in Malaysia, ending a marriage requires a lot more careful deliberation than a few taps on a mobile phone.” ](http://www.sistersinislam.org.my/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=763&Itemid=1)

 

[averheyen]

scratches his head

 

[cathopologist]

This is an example of how Islam is in the forefront of technology. It thinks of something no one else has done before. I would think that text-messaging your wife for a divorce is a cowardly act, but oh well…

 

[averheyen]

I’d say more bizarre.

 

[Deconi]

It doesn’t work anyway!

Last year I sent her;
"Dvorsin u today! Bye"

Received 2 mins later;
** “OK, jst b hme by 7 n bring some milk! If u L8 u wil pray 4 d-vors!” **

Any other ideas from any other religion that’s better and don’t bruise?

 

[AlessandraRose]

This has been going on for awhile; its not a new thing.

Very sad and cowardly. IMO

 

[inJESUS]

I do not see a difference between simply uttering the word or text messaging it except that text messaging costs money.

 

[averheyen]

I do not see a difference between simply uttering the word or text messaging it except that text messaging costs money.

Well, breaking up with your girlfriend through text message is something you do when you’re 15.

Throw marriage into that, and it’s just obsurd.

 

[Sister_Amy]

I just wanted to point out something misleading in the original post.

A woman does not have to prove a real “inadequacy” in her husband to get a divorce. The Prophet Muhammad (saaws) was willing to grant a woman a divorce just because she thought her husband was ugly.

Women’s rights.

 

[Sister_Amy]

It doesn’t work anyway!

Last year I sent her;
"Dvorsin u today! Bye"

Received 2 mins later;
** “OK, jst b hme by 7 n bring some milk! If u L8 u wil pray 4 d-vors!” **

Any other ideas from any other religion that’s better and don’t bruise?

That is tooooooooo funny!!!

 

[inJESUS]

I just wanted to point out something misleading in the original post.

A woman does not have to prove a real “inadequacy” in her husband to get a divorce. The Prophet Muhammad (saaws) was willing to grant a woman a divorce just because she thought her husband was ugly.

Women’s rights.

that must be called “unseriousness of marriage bond”.

Did Aisha give her opinion before marrying Muhammad?

 

[Sister_Amy]

Unseriousness? Yeah whatever. It says that women are entitled to happiness in marriage, as are men.

And a marriage contract isn’t valid without the bride’s consent.

 

[ralphinal]

Unseriousness? Yeah whatever. It says that women are entitled to happiness in marriage, as are men.

And a marriage contract isn’t valid without the bride’s consent.

What is the age of consent in Islam?

 

[inJESUS]

Unseriousness? Yeah whatever. It says that women are entitled to happiness in marriage, as are men.

And a marriage contract isn’t valid without the bride’s consent.

no one is denying this…but what you wrote proves how easy divorce is and how unserious marriage is in Islam. Jesus does not call it “harshness of your hearts” for no reason. I hope your future husband will not divorce you because your body does not look the same or bring another “younger” one because you are fat and ugly (as Muhammad did with Sauda until she asked him to deprive her of her marital intimacy for Aisha’s sake, in order not to divorce her). I do not wish you to live this situation in order to realize that what you proudly wrote as “practicality” and woman\s right in Islam is nothing but harshness of the heart of both men and women who agree with such teachings…

 

[inJESUS]

What is the age of consent in Islam?

i guess it depends on the country…

 

[Sister_Amy]

no one is denying this…but what you wrote proves how easy divorce is and how unserious marriage is in Islam.

Eh, it proves nothing of the sort. It proves that a woman doesn’t have to prove that her husband has been castrated in order to divorce him. Since the original post implied that men can divorce easily while women are in a bind.

The truth is that if there is a legitimate reason (like the wife not being happy in the marriage!) then she can be granted a divorce. But there is STILL a 3-month (roughly months) waiting period for the divorce to be finalized wherein there can be reconciliation. Moreover, upon disagreement spouses are encouraged to seek divorce as a last option, only after attempting to mediate their conflicts–and this is in the Qur’an. So don’t say that marriage is “unserious.”

I hope your future husband will not divorce you because your body does not look the same or bring another “younger” one because you are fat and ugly (as Muhammad did with Sauda until she asked him to deprive her of her marital intimacy for Aisha’s sake, in order not to divorce her).

Where did you come up with this? Muhammad did not marry Aisha because Sauda was “fat and ugly!” And seriously, how dare you say that? Ugh!!!

Ugh!!!

Uggghhhh!!!

And Muhammad was NOT going to divorce Sauda either.

Ughhh. Sick.

I do not wish you to live this situation in order to realize that what you proudly wrote as “practicality” and woman\s right in Islam is nothing but harshness of the heart of both men and women who agree with such teachings…

Would you like to take the teachings out of their context. Or would you rather understand them holistically?

Full of extremes:

On one side people say that in Islam it’s too easy to get divorced.

On the other side, they say that women are stuck and don’t have any rights in marriage.

In truth it is not “too easy” to get divorced. It is POSSIBLE because sometimes marriage just doesn’t work out. FACT.

 

[Sister_Amy]

What is the age of consent in Islam?

I don’t even understand the question.

 

[BlestOne]

I actually know a muslim woman in the US that told me that her husband divorced her by saying so… when he changed his mind and decided he would rather just kill her instead, she fled to the US with her girl children. She was not allowed to bring her sons but soon after she settled here, her sons came to “help” her… I say it like that because they tried to help her to an early grave… The boys came over to the US to kill her. They shot her and she moved down to my town so they couldn’t find her. When I met her, she was trying to raise 3 daughters and stay alive…

Where was her choice? She didn’t want him back so he tried to kill her… then sent her own sons to kill her. Who would have raised the girls? The father didn’t want them, which is the only reason she got to bring them to the US with her.

 

[Sister_Amy]

I actually know a muslim woman in the US that told me that her husband divorced her by saying so… when he changed his mind and decided he would rather just kill her instead, she fled to the US with her girl children. She was not allowed to bring her sons but soon after she settled here, her sons came to “help” her… I say it like that because they tried to help her to an early grave… The boys came over to the US to kill her. They shot her and she moved down to my town so they couldn’t find her. When I met her, she was trying to raise 3 daughters and stay alive…

Where was her choice? She didn’t want him back so he tried to kill her… then sent her own sons to kill her. Who would have raised the girls? The father didn’t want them, which is the only reason she got to bring them to the US with her.

Why would he be trying to kill her?

 

[BlestOne]

Why would he be trying to kill her?

Because he decided it would be easier to kill her than wait the 3 mos for the divorce I assume…