Divorce from my second wife

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What I was saying doesnt happen alot, is Catholics who divorce and remain single (no cohabitation or civil remarriage).

I’ve met many divorced, and many who get an annulment. I’ve never met a divorced Catholic who remained abstinent because their marriage was valid.
 
i live in the u.s. in my state if one person wants a divorce, there is no way the other party can stop it from happening. so on that issue you need legal representation. as for annulment, unless something has changed since my divorce, only sacramental unions need an annulment.
 
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Ammi said:
I’ve met many divorced, and many who get an annulment. I’ve never met a divorced Catholic who remained abstinent because their marriage was valid.
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I’ve met many. Including couples in second marriages who lived as brother and sister for years until their first marriages were found to be invalid. And at least one who did so until a previous spouse died.

I’m going to guess you’re not in a line of work where you’d actually be privy to this kind of information.
 
all 3 priests at my parish disagreed with you. we were married at the courthouse so the Church doesn’t recognize it.
 
Were you Catholic? That’s a completely different thing, and has nothing to do with sacramentality.
 
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yes lifetime Catholic. new to software of this site so please forgive me. i tried to edit the post to say married in the Church and i posted it somehow. we never had our married blessed so it was invalid.
 
Yes, that’s a lack of form case.

But if two non-Catholics were married at a courthouse, their marriage would be presumed to be valid, and they’d need to go through the nullity process if they wanted to marry a Catholic.
 
my priest, 3 of them actually say differently. if what you’re saying is true a homosexual marriage would be valid.
 
No. It would have to be a marriage between a man and a woman. The Church calls that a good and natural marriage—and they are presumed to be valid.

In your case, because you were a baptized Catholic, you were obligated to follow the Catholic form of marriage. So your courthouse wedding was never considered valid.

But two atheists marrying in a courthouse—valid marriage. Two Protestants marrying in a courthouse—valid marriage that is also sacramental.

If you checked with your priests, I think you’ll find you may have misunderstood them.
 
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No, I dont interview people. Just according to what I’ve seen.

And you just gave one example of a spouse waiting for their spouse to die. Just one.

The others get their annulment.
 
There’s nothing wrong with people getting a decree of nullity. And I’m saying you may not be in a position to have as much exposure to those who do —and do not —file petitions as those of us who’ve worked for Tribunals.
 
JulianN said:
There’s nothing wrong with people getting a decree of nullity.
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As long as everyone involved is representing the Truth, no. A decree does not guarantee that, unfortunately.
 
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Ammi said:
A decree does not guarantee that, unfortunately.
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Nor does a denial, for that matter. You often post as if finding a marriage valid is the preferred or more truthful option somehow. It is not.

Within our human limits, we do our best. And trust that God, who gave the Church the power to bind and loose, is in control.
 
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I know I left the thread, but it irks me that people want to deny the reality of others lives.

For the record - my father left my mother (& 2 underage children) after 31 yrs of marriage. My mother never remarried, as she knew her vows and the marriage was valid. And my mother lived about 6 months less than 30 yrs after my father left and civilly divorced her.

I am not going to dig out other skeletons in my familys’ closest just to prove to someone it isn’t rare.

But I find it deeply, deeply offensive to those who do not remarry and remain faithful to their valid marriage bonds - to declare that it is a rarity is a slap in their face.

Perhaps after living more than 50yrs and gathering much life experience, living in more than one city or even country and getting to know many different people from many different walks of life and getting to know their life stories - this attitude may change.

Priests, nuns, brothers, consecrated virgins - are celibate - the majority that is (excluding those who do otherwise).

Why do people assume it is impossible to do?

Instead of leaving the thread, I am now putting it on mute. I’m deeply hurt that people don’t recognize the selfless and sacrificial nature of this decision of those who do not remarry or do not want to seek an annulment, or have had their annulment rejected - and live the remainder of their lives single.
 
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Because I havent (met one). Though I’ve met many divorced and remarried or those who got annulments and found another wife. I am at peace doing so, yet I’ve had to reject many people’s advice and attempts to lure me towards divorce and finding a new woman.

I have had extremely little encouragement to remain single, and overcome temptations. Not one (of several) priests has encouraged me or my wife to remain single.

Yet I made sacrifices to find a Catholic woman and marry in the Church, following my pastor’s guidance.

I’ve been told by Catholics that they know I could get an annulment, and even the defender of the bond! But there is no sound reason or evidence. I have a sound case to defend my marriage, despite both of us making mistakes.

If my wife chose to seek an annulment, I would encourage her to do so. I have encouraged her to do so. But I will defend the marriage, and fight against her relationships, for the sake of not scandalizing our children.
 
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Many of us have. There are plenty of people out there who are doing this.
 
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