E
Eliza10
Guest
A friend (lives in another state) is divorcing after a 30 year marriage. I hope people here can tell me if they have an idea if what she is concerned about is likely to happen or not.
This matters to me since as I feel for her - she is so alone in this, & I want to give her reason to hope. And I type this with a computer keyboard with letters that are not working (new keyboard is on order) (probably because I eat grapefruit right next to it most mornings.
) including the letter “a” which makes it labor intensive… (therefore the excessive use of @ and &… I have to cut n’ paste each time I need to use it an “a” & other letters). So, you can see this matters to me.
He has always been a first class jerk but the only redeeming thing about him is he has been faithful to her. But now he is not, having left to live nearby with his old high school “sweetheart” who lives on social security disability (fibromyalgia)… He has never been one for steady work; he gets fired from job after job when he picks fights with people or says asinine things. A blowhard who is always right. I remember when she had a 3 month old baby & a toddler & moved from PA to the lowest tip of Texas to take a teaching job to support her family. He stayed home lot of those years, while “poor me”-ing about that, though he did not attempt to find work while he complained. He worked various occasional jobs over the years… Once she put him through college which he failed, so, never getting the certification he was going for. He is actually @ a work-longevity record now, with 5 straight years delivering parts for Autozone or some such place. (Likely he was distracted from the usual antics that get him fired because he was busy avidly pursing, most of these years, getting his paramour to leave her husband & come there from 3 states away, visiting her 4x & having her visit there 4x, all paid for with considerable expense to the tight budget of he & my friend). He has always been a consumer not a saver, fixer or maintainer. My friend has paid all the bills; he uses the leftover always to buy for himself whatever, including heaps of supplies for many hobbies he sets himself up for but never actually does, while she lives in extreme thrift… I think that should give you a good picture of who he is. Good riddance, right?
So my friend filed for divorce last week as she needs to get her budget in order esp. bec. she is facing paying for the badly needed $l0,000 roof - a complete tear-off whc. she cannot get the needed loan for until she gets his name off the house mortgage … & the annual school tax bill just arrived, too. Not things the ex ever had to concern himself with. Her income is not great, as a teacher in a rural area.
Today she hears from HIS lawyer (he likely gets free legal aid for his lawyer, while her little income is just barely over qualifying for that) letting her know she is to appear in court in less than 2 weeks to pay him support & to be prepared to pay $100 a week starting that day!! Yes, so, of course she is upset, & no way to ask anyone if this is possible to happen.
Have you ever heard of a wife paying spousal support when the husband leaves to shack up elsewhere, for no good reason, except this is who he is??
What would you tell her for how likely this is to happen? What do you think?? Her lawyer does not answer phone, not in apparently, & also his secretary is away from office for “family emergency” on this holiday long weekend. What do you think, from what you know, or have ever heard of??. How likely is straying husband (kids now in early 20s & doing fine, self-supporting, in own lives elsewhere) likely to get awarded spousal support??
(As to their home, the lawyer did tell her that she will likely get it as it has a big mortgage left, & soon-to-be ex has about $30K worth of tools that is equal to the house, when you add in the needed roof, so, that seems to not be a concern. She just can’t see how she can make ends meet if she has to pay him support ).
This matters to me since as I feel for her - she is so alone in this, & I want to give her reason to hope. And I type this with a computer keyboard with letters that are not working (new keyboard is on order) (probably because I eat grapefruit right next to it most mornings.
) including the letter “a” which makes it labor intensive… (therefore the excessive use of @ and &… I have to cut n’ paste each time I need to use it an “a” & other letters). So, you can see this matters to me.He has always been a first class jerk but the only redeeming thing about him is he has been faithful to her. But now he is not, having left to live nearby with his old high school “sweetheart” who lives on social security disability (fibromyalgia)… He has never been one for steady work; he gets fired from job after job when he picks fights with people or says asinine things. A blowhard who is always right. I remember when she had a 3 month old baby & a toddler & moved from PA to the lowest tip of Texas to take a teaching job to support her family. He stayed home lot of those years, while “poor me”-ing about that, though he did not attempt to find work while he complained. He worked various occasional jobs over the years… Once she put him through college which he failed, so, never getting the certification he was going for. He is actually @ a work-longevity record now, with 5 straight years delivering parts for Autozone or some such place. (Likely he was distracted from the usual antics that get him fired because he was busy avidly pursing, most of these years, getting his paramour to leave her husband & come there from 3 states away, visiting her 4x & having her visit there 4x, all paid for with considerable expense to the tight budget of he & my friend). He has always been a consumer not a saver, fixer or maintainer. My friend has paid all the bills; he uses the leftover always to buy for himself whatever, including heaps of supplies for many hobbies he sets himself up for but never actually does, while she lives in extreme thrift… I think that should give you a good picture of who he is. Good riddance, right?
So my friend filed for divorce last week as she needs to get her budget in order esp. bec. she is facing paying for the badly needed $l0,000 roof - a complete tear-off whc. she cannot get the needed loan for until she gets his name off the house mortgage … & the annual school tax bill just arrived, too. Not things the ex ever had to concern himself with. Her income is not great, as a teacher in a rural area.
Today she hears from HIS lawyer (he likely gets free legal aid for his lawyer, while her little income is just barely over qualifying for that) letting her know she is to appear in court in less than 2 weeks to pay him support & to be prepared to pay $100 a week starting that day!! Yes, so, of course she is upset, & no way to ask anyone if this is possible to happen.
Have you ever heard of a wife paying spousal support when the husband leaves to shack up elsewhere, for no good reason, except this is who he is??
What would you tell her for how likely this is to happen? What do you think?? Her lawyer does not answer phone, not in apparently, & also his secretary is away from office for “family emergency” on this holiday long weekend. What do you think, from what you know, or have ever heard of??. How likely is straying husband (kids now in early 20s & doing fine, self-supporting, in own lives elsewhere) likely to get awarded spousal support??
(As to their home, the lawyer did tell her that she will likely get it as it has a big mortgage left, & soon-to-be ex has about $30K worth of tools that is equal to the house, when you add in the needed roof, so, that seems to not be a concern. She just can’t see how she can make ends meet if she has to pay him support ).
