Divorce/Remarriage question for evangelicals

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Cleopas said:
I’m a Non-denominational Evangelical Pastor. I admit that Protestants have varied opinions on the subject of Divorce, notwithstanding remarriage. I don;t think you can get a unified statement of position that is the “Protestant Position.” IT would depend on the sect and/or traditional background of the protestants in question for the most part.

That said, I personally (please note I said personally) believe that the NT teaches again ts divorce and remarriage. However I believe the NT permits divorce WITHOUT remarriage in some cases (i.e. unfaithfulness to the purity of the marriage bed, desertion or otherwise being unwilling to dwell as one spouse should with the other [viz. physical abuse or harm, etc.]).

It seems that remarriage is only permitted if one’s spouse dies, even if divorced.

However, should one marry someone who is technically still married to someone else it stands to reason they would have the right to both divorce and remarry, seeing as they were not every truly joined by God in the first place.

However their is a strong argument from the the NT passages on which I base this position that permitting divorce means a dissolution of the marriage and inherently allows remarriage as well. I have a hard time believing that to be the most accurate position. Yet, I admit a good case can also be made for it from the text.

Outside of that, I do not know how so many varied ideas and seemingly blatant contradictory teachings and practices have become commonplace among protestant believers.
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That is why the Protestant Churches are not one Holy Church in Christ and therfore are not one with Christ.

You are correct that a marriage never took place if one is still married in which God as Joined and divorced and re-married then both will be in sin for committing adultery or fornification.

Neither could repent unless they gave a committment not to have sexual relations and without true repentance(turning away from sin) tell me Pastor where is there next stop?

And the minister that aids and abets this what is his next stop?

Many Ministers see that esspecially when they start using scripture in their teachings and lose Members because it does not suit their life style to the non deminational two doors down.

Thats not faith / that is convenience. That is of the flesh not the Spirit.

Come back home to the Catholic Church we need men like yourself.
 
c659smith said:
And the minister that aids and abets this what is his next stop?

Many Ministers see that especially when they start using scripture in their teachings and lose Members because it does not suit their life style to the non deminational two doors down.

Thats not faith / that is convenience.
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That is what I observed for nearly 20 yrs as a protestant believer. ONCE in a while, a pastor, (maybe who knew of adultery or something that precipitated the civil divorce), would not officiate a 2nd wedding for someone. So, that person would go down the street, get married by the pastor there, and then be back in “fellowship” at the former church. It happens ALL TOO OFTEN.

The weird thing with my kids’ dad, is that HIS Dad is the minister. (Frankly, I don’t see him ever marrying again (issues), but if it did happen, it will be very interesting to hear what happens.

I have since checked out the denomination he is a pastor in, and in their rules, it states that a pastor may not officiate at a remarriage. I’m sure there are all sorts of ways to bend that rule, however.
 
graceandglory said:
That is what I observed for nearly 20 yrs as a protestant believer. ONCE in a while, a pastor, (maybe who knew of adultery or something that precipitated the civil divorce), would not officiate a 2nd wedding for someone. So, that person would go down the street, get married by the pastor there, and then be back in “fellowship” at the former church. It happens ALL TOO OFTEN.

The weird thing with my kids’ dad, is that HIS Dad is the minister. (Frankly, I don’t see him ever marrying again (issues), but if it did happen, it will be very interesting to hear what happens.

I have since checked out the denomination he is a pastor in, and in their rules, it states that a pastor may not officiate at a remarriage. I’m sure there are all sorts of ways to bend that rule, however.
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oops!!!

Sorry I did not read your profile before I posted. Am I bad.
I see you are Catholic and congradulate you on making that jump.

I have a question here and know it is not related to this post but why is it that many Ministers in the Protestant denominations convert to Catholism?

Is it because of these abuses and those like them?

It would require I think someone without a concious or someone not well educated in theology to re-marry someone after a civil divorce after taking the oath to God. esspecially because of things like well we just grew apart or we just did not get along.

Do these Ministers understand what they are subjecting themselves to when this life is over?
 
hi graceandglory, I would like to ask you why are your children going to church with your X only and why you don’t take them to mass with you? they can go with you any day as you know we have mass every day.
 
graceandglory said:
My state is a joint custody state.
Half the weekends are his.

I’ve been told that this means that judges can not make a decision respecting one religion over another.

Which brings up an interesting situation. My boys turn 14 soon. They will want to be practicing Catholics on their dad’s weekends. They will want to go to Mass. I told them that there’s really nothing we can do until they turn 14. At age 14, they have a bit more responsibilities as Catholics. I don’t know how that will all work out.
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When my mother divorce she still had my baby sister she took her to Mass when she had her and she went with her dad when he had her, but the example my mom gave my little sister has been more powerful then anything else. he even was remarried and my little sister participated in their wedding and now she is a beautiful 18 year old young woman that is more Catholic than ever she has stay pure by my mothers example because my mom never remarried and dedicated her time to God and his Church and showed her that when you trust in God you will succeed in life, now my little sister will be going to the Catholic University in Ohio
so don’t worry about what he is teaching them you focus on what you are teaching them, trust in God and in his Church.
 
stbruno said:
To the OP, I feel your pain of your spouse’s betrayal. That seems to be the underlying issue of your question. My only suggestion is to explore our diocese’s website on divorce support…

familyministries.org/resources/index.asp?c_id=7&t_id=7

Hope it helps. You are in my prayers.
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Actually, no.

My husband’s betrayal was years ago. My love of theology especially Catholic theology as it pertains to marriage is what prompted my question.

Honestly, this thread hasn’t yielded the protestant replies I was hoping for, and think I might have to look elsewhere.

Gerry Matatics, a Catholic convert from protestantism, is quoted in Surprised by Truth as saying,
"It’s only a matter of time until your views on marriage are going to affect your ecclesiology."

I have spoken at retreats for the divorced for the past three years in my diocese. Certainly, anyone with a heart, who has been betrayed must acknowledge pain. The pain is there but continues to be healed. It was my own biblical views (sola scriptural at the time) on marriage that kept me with him 13 yrs after he asked for his divorce. BUT that is a separate issue, and not a part of my original question.

My question, as I keep reiterating is theological. I still want to know what personal interpretations the sola scriptural protestants have on the Bible verses I have mentioned.

What would make you think that I would lie to you?

Is NO ONE concerned that people who marry those who are divorced are going to hell according to the Scriptures? They are continually committing adultery and repeatedly committing mortal sin.
In my original question from last week, I referred to my X, a protestant, from a sola scripture background who I caught in sin with another sola scriptural protestant. That didn’t hurt. That was shocking, not for me, but for my children.

I am putting together a presentation for a conference for divorced people, and I would like to know more about protestant interpretations of the verses I have mentioned in this thread.
 
c659smith said:
I have a question here and know it is not related to this post but why is it that many Ministers in the Protestant denominations convert to Catholicism?

Is it because of these abuses and those like them?

It would require I think someone without a concious or someone not well educated in theology to re-marry someone after a civil divorce after taking the oath to God.
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Actually c659smith, I think it is most definitely related to this thread! I have heard of MANY sola scriptural protestants, especially ministers, convert to Catholicism because of their biblical views on marriage. It was the main reason I converted. That’s why I’m so interested in this area of Catholic teaching. I believe that the Catholic Church is the only Biblical Church on earth. (I’m Catholic, I can say that, and besides it’s true). This is "the household of God, which is the church of the living God, the pillar and foundation of truth" 1 Timothy 3:15
 
lurdes said:
hi graceandglory, I would like to ask you why are your children going to church with your X only and why you don’t take them to mass with you? they can go with you any day as you know we have mass every day.
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Good question, lurdes. I am a working single mom, and there are no Masses in my county that we can go to before or after school. I’m a teacher. However, we can make it more often during Spring and Summer vacations and Holy Days, when Mass is offered later after school is out.

However for two of the last 3 yrs that I’ve been Catholic, I worked in a Catholic school, and we were all able to go to Mass at least weekly if not more. I took a HUGE (30%) pay cut over two years in order to do that. Unfortunately, I am still reaping the financial repercussions over that decision of mine.

They do go with me as often as we can. Their missing Mass is a sacrifice of theirs too, not just mine.
 
lurdes said:
When my mother divorce she still had my baby sister she took her to Mass when she had her and she went with her dad when he had her, but the example my mom gave my little sister has been more powerful then anything else. he even was remarried and my little sister participated in their wedding and now she is a beautiful 18 year old young woman that is more Catholic than ever she has stay pure by my mothers example because my mom never remarried and dedicated her time to God and his Church and showed her that when you trust in God you will succeed in life, now my little sister will be going to the Catholic University in Ohio
so don’t worry about what he is teaching them you focus on what you are teaching them,** trust in God and in his Church**.
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Thank you so much lurdes for sharing your beautiful story. Yours and stories that others have shared in this thread have really brought the message home to me that I’m doing everything for my children that I can, and I need to TRUST IN GOD MORE and in His Church. So many of you are repeating this message, and being so generous in sharing your own personal stories of your faithful Moms raising you up in the Lord, which is truly, more than anything what I want to be and do. I must Trust in God more.

Thank you again. Your story is very precious to me.
 
graceandglory said:
Thank you so much lurdes for sharing your beautiful story. Yours and stories that others have shared in this thread have really brought the message home to me that I’m doing everything for my children that I can, and I need to TRUST IN GOD MORE and in His Church. So many of you are repeating this message, and being so generous in sharing your own personal stories of your faithful Moms raising you up in the Lord, which is truly, more than anything what I want to be and do. I must Trust in God more.

Thank you again. Your story is very precious to me.
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I’m glad that I can be of help, be strong and put your trust in the lord and one more thing ask our heavenly Mother to guide you in your vocation of Motherhood I know I do. GOD BLESS YOU
 
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