Divorce

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PR, did you see me check your page out? Beautiful family you have, you are blessed. OH, I love popcorn.😉
 
😃 Actually, I would be curious as to why she believed that…and I would ask her. I truly would. Maybe she is delusional and maybe she isn’t… but you know, the alien stuff is just a little over the top!😉 We approach things differently… but that is ok.

I am still hoping to learn about people’s different experiences about divorce and the annulment procedure with my clear intent on understanding how to help foster the relationship between Catholics who have been divorced and the Church to decrease the amount of people leaving their faith. Maybe there are not too many divorced Catholics who are considering leaving the Church and still read CAF! But I would have guessed by now I would have found out more about what type of support groups and programs are used different places…hmmm…
And in the meantime, seems sad the OP isn’t around…
I am not divorced but will be getting divorced.

For me, I will not be leaving the church. I do plan on trying to get an annulment after the divorce but will remain alone if it is denied. I have many grounds to seek an annulment but if it is denied then it is God’s will. My annulment will be based on the day of the marriage and not things that happened during the marriage.
 
Yes, I did see that.

Thank you for visiting. 🙂

:tiphat:

:eek:

Actually, I eat it, too. But only if it’s there. And if there’s nothing else. And there’s a Diet Pepsi to go with it.
😃 I guess I mean if one has to take it spiritually it can have the same effect if one believes it can. One can take it physically and not have faith in it, and another can take it spiritually and have faith in it and that one would benefit more. Its the faith and belief you put in it, the meaning it has for you.
 
Ricofall,
I am glad you are posting. Can you share with us how Hispanics culturally feel about divorce as Catholics? And the annulment process? Are there any differences that you have noticed? Blessings to you…
Let me give you some background of me.
I am a second generation Mexican. My mom is from Mexico as is my dad. They are divorced. They are both Catholic, but they were not married in the Church. People find interesting that they are actually good friends. In fact, we all live close to each other now.

Mexicans are very religious, however the country is secular (supposedly). The secularism has to do with the Cristo war if I remember correctly.

Anyways, marriage through the Church is mainly considered till death. Are they those who get divorced? Yes they are. I have people in my family whose husband walked away 20 years ago. I do not have all details but I do know she is still single.

Religion is rooted deep. To many people, it is not a choice, it is a way of life. If the Church says you are in the wrong, then you are. You need to get in the right. You can walk away from the Church if you want, and some do just like here. If anything, it is the same but you see more respect for the Church if you are a member. If you notice, not even the drug cartels cross the church during the drug wars (usually). However, that may change is the Church starts to take sides.

Annulments do happen just like here. Divorcing does still carry some stigma, but it is going away slowly. I hope this answers your questions and feel free to ask me again. I do not want to go off topic too much.
 
My annulment will be based on the day of the marriage and not things that happened during the marriage.
In fact (and maybe this is something that’s misunderstood), that’s the only basis for an annulment. What’s looked at isn’t “what happened during the course of the marriage?”, but rather, “what was going on at the time of the wedding?”. Now, if something happened during the course of the marriage that makes obvious a problem that was there at the time of the wedding, then there’s a potential cause for nullity. But, if there wasn’t a problem at the time of the wedding, then what happened during the marriage doesn’t justify an annulment.

The idea is that an unbreakable bond is created at the time of the wedding. If there was a problem that prevented that bond – even if everything seemed OK at the time of the wedding – then there’s the possibility of an annulment (since the bond wouldn’t have actually been created). If the bond was in fact created at the time of the wedding, then it isn’t possible to declare the marriage null.
 
I am getting married this summer so the OP on this thread immediately caught my attention when I saw it tonight. I read through all four hundred and sixty whatever posts.

WHEW.

To muff and the others who have been through spouses who these terrible experiences in your relationships, I know that this is a miniscule consolation, but know that your willingness to share your painful experiences here have made at least one groom-to-be consider these kinds of possibilities before I get married. I pray that God will bless me with a long and faithful marriage. I accept that it might be God’s plan that my wife leaves me and my annulment doesn’t go through, and I am left a lonely, sad person forever. I want all of you to know that I can only have this kind of clarity and determination about my risks because people like you have been brave enough to share your experiences with me and force me to consider it when I don’t have the burden of the difficult circumstances that you are going through. I certainly can’t promise that I would do any differently than you if I were in your respective situations, but I pray that you will all do what you need to do to come back - fully - to the Catholic Church.
 
I do not think you get it. Let me explain it to you. Let me break it down for you.
No actually I think its a good thing, I said nothing discrimatory, sorry you took it that way, just so many divorced people leaving and others that really its a good thing. Heres a little reading for you…
Yes you did. That my not have been your intent, but you did. Here is the link to the entire article that you quoted so readers know where your are quoting from.

I am not sure why you quoted an opinion article from USAToday. I am not sure what you are trying to say. I know that the Church is friendly to immigration, they always have been. The church does more humanitarian efforts than all other churches combined. This does not change what you said or the fact that you are trying to defend or change topics. I will pray for you and have already.
 
I am getting married this summer so the OP on this thread immediately caught my attention when I saw it tonight. I read through all four hundred and sixty whatever posts.

WHEW.

To muff and the others who have been through spouses who these terrible experiences in your relationships, I know that this is a miniscule consolation, but know that your willingness to share your painful experiences here have made at least one groom-to-be consider these kinds of possibilities before I get married. I pray that God will bless me with a long and faithful marriage. I accept that it might be God’s plan that my wife leaves me and my annulment doesn’t go through, and I am left a lonely, sad person forever. I want all of you to know that I can only have this kind of clarity and determination about my risks because people like you have been brave enough to share your experiences with me and force me to consider it when I don’t have the burden of the difficult circumstances that you are going through. I certainly can’t promise that I would do any differently than you if I were in your respective situations, but I pray that you will all do what you need to do to come back - fully - to the Catholic Church.
I am glad that you feel that way. Has your soon to be wife read this tract yet? I would recommend she does. And when you take your pre-Cana classes, please take them seriously. They are there to help you two. Listen to your mentor couple and share in their ups and downs. It is a great eye opener.
 
And also, to those of you who say that the Church is condeming you (and in some cases, your second families) to lives of chastity and loneliness, keep in mind that you are in good company. Many of God’s most beloved prophets and apostles suffered decades of hardship in their relationships. And, of course, even Jesus Christ felt abandonment while He hung on the cross, so much abandonment that he shouted the 22nd Psalm to God. Stop and think about that for a minute -

Jesus experienced the same feelings that you are feeling. Jesus knows what it feels like to feel like the people who love you most - your spouse, your friends, your Church, your God - have left you. When you bring those feelings to Him, he doesn’t just listen. He understands. He knows.

If that doesn’t bring you at least a little comfort, then nothing that I say will. Peace!
 
The bigger question is “What must the church do to preach and heal people who are divorced from valid marriages?”

It might be fun to lecture them about living a life of solitude, chastity and lonliness, but let’s try to remember that the cross they would have to bare is huge.
as a soon to be divorced Catholic I do plan to live a life of chastity. Don’t understand why it should be one of solitude or loneliness. I still have friends and family.
 
I am glad that you feel that way. Has your soon to be wife read this tract yet? I would recommend she does. And when you take your pre-Cana classes, please take them seriously. They are there to help you two. Listen to your mentor couple and share in their ups and downs. It is a great eye opener.
We have started our pre-Cana talks at our parish already, and this issue was brought up. But it doesn’t have the same effect as hearing these powerful testimonies of the pain and loneliness felt by some of the posters on this thread.

My wife-to-be is the child of a couple that went through a bitter divorce. She doesn’t need to read this thread, because she has already experienced the lessons that it teaches. I was blessed with parents who were in a loving, stable relationship, which was wonderful, but I have not been challenged with the ugliness of what can happen when a relationship goes wrong. So the thread was very useful for me.

Also, while I have you on the line, I thought the earlier post about hispanics and immigrants was completely uncalled for, thought that you were correct to challenge it, thought that the response to your challenge was even worse than the original post about it, and was very impressed with your character for ignoring the response, turning the other cheek, and giving us a nice snapshot of Mexican Catholicism. iQué repuesta hermosa!
 
as a soon to be divorced Catholic I do plan to live a life of chastity. Don’t understand why it should be one of solitude or loneliness. I still have friends and family.
Hello VSEdriver,

An absolutely terrific (and sadly, one of a kind as far as I have found) resourse is The Gift of Self by Maria Pia Campanella.

thegiftofself.org/

I’ll add your spouse to my prayers, that her/his heart is softened and truly repentant and God will be glorified by the reconciliation of what He joined… in His time.

I pray your friends and family recognize the indissolubility of marriage this side of death and support you. But, either way, it definitely doesn’t have to be a life “of solitude or loneliness!”

Bryan

LOVE SO AMAZING
 
No to aurgue with you, but for clarification, did the husbands die?
A potential point. 5 times? And currently living in sin with the sixth?
Jesus can pretty much do what he wants to do. As it is said by Catholics, Jesus is bound to the sacraments, not by them. Just as he placed that thief on the cross in paradise.
I believe God CAN do what He wants. I also believe He chooses to be consistent and follows moral and physical laws. Are you arguing that Jesus, as God’s example here on Earth, would set a different example than the one we are to follow? Or do you also believe in consistency?
Who is not forgiving? The Church?
Yep. Not to the extent that Christ demonstrated in these passages.
 
iQué repuesta hermosa!
I will tell you something, what has helped me in my marriage is truly reading the bible from front to back. I cannot explain it totally, but it seems to build me up and become a better man. I plan to ready it more and even going to get me a study bible for the new testament, but learning and understanding it help me. For example, in the sad story of Jepthah, he made a haste vow to God and ended up sacrificing his daughter (Judges 11:30). Jews knew that you do not break any vows to God, no matter what. People have argued what really took place in this verse and if he really did sacrifice his only child, but one thing is clear, do not make foolish vows to God. I think some people (from personal experience) rush to make these vows and never really grasp what they mean. I hope you have a beautiful wedding and a unconditional love between you and your future wife. You seem to be on the right track.👍
 
I read it front to back once and am on round two. I know it’s supposed to be better if you don’t read it exactly in canonical order but I would lose my place if I read it any other way :o)

Since you brought up scripture and my couple chapters for tonight happen to be from Exodus…how much do these stories remind you of Moses? While Moses was being faithful to the promise he made to God up on the mountain, the people he was giving up everything for were selling out and worshiping a golden calf. Yet Moses had to wander in the desert for 40 years like the rest of them…AND he never even got to set foot in the Promised Land. But we know through the Transfiguration that Moses was taken up to Heaven to be with God, even though he didn’t acheive the one thing he set out to do on Earth - get to the promised land.
 
A potential point. 5 times? And currently living in sin with the sixth?
Jesus never stated she was living in Sin. And if she was, I did not read where he stated she was forgiven (did I miss something).
I believe God CAN do what He wants. I also believe He chooses to be consistent and follows moral and physical laws. Are you arguing that Jesus, as God’s example here on Earth, would set a different example than the one we are to follow? Or do you also believe in consistency?
I will agree with you on moral because he does set moral law, but physical law? Did he not raise the dead and even himself? I am not sure in your parish, but I have yet to see that one in mine (however other have done the same in His name in a few occasions). You state he was consistent, not sure what that means but he really was not for His time. His enemies did not know what he would do next. Keep in mind that Old Testament God seemed different that what Jesus is. OT God told his followers to conquer, Jesus was about peace. Is that consistent? Also, assuming what God chooses is bringing God to your level, is it not?
Yep. Not to the extent that Christ demonstrated in these passages.
Technically, the church does not forgive, God forgives. The church follows canon law. Just as we follow laws in society whether we like it or not. Even if a Judge does not like a particular law, he still has to abide by it. After all, the Church is a society with rules to help the 1+ Billion Catholics in the world, without it, we would have churches do what ever they want for as long as they follow what they believed to be Gods word.
 
A potential point. 5 times? And currently living in sin with the sixth?

I believe God CAN do what He wants. I also believe He chooses to be consistent and follows moral and physical laws. Are you arguing that Jesus, as God’s example here on Earth, would set a different example than the one we are to follow? Or do you also believe in consistency?

Yep. Not to the extent that Christ demonstrated in these passages.
I read it front to back once and am on round two. I know it’s supposed to be better if you don’t read it exactly in canonical order but I would lose my place if I read it any other way :o)

Since you brought up scripture and my couple chapters for tonight happen to be from Exodus…how much do these stories remind you of Moses? While Moses was being faithful to the promise he made to God up on the mountain, the people he was giving up everything for were selling out and worshiping a golden calf. Yet Moses had to wander in the desert for 40 years like the rest of them…AND he never even got to set foot in the Promised Land. But we know through the Transfiguration that Moses was taken up to Heaven to be with God, even though he didn’t acheive the one thing he set out to do on Earth - get to the promised land.
I never thought of it that way. However, out or respect of this post and the OP. I will try not to comment any more on our topic so we do not get too far off the original topic about divorce and the Church
 
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