Divorced, Ex- married and had a baby

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As I read through this thread there seams to me an idea woven in it that one simply needs to apply for an annulment and it’s granted.

Marriage is a sacrament. Just as baptism, confirmation, and Holy orders can’t be undone. When a valid marriage takes place it can not be dissolved.

The OP states that they were married in the Catholic church. This, it seems to me add’s another layer on to this. In our diocese a mandatory formation period takes place to make certain the couple knows what it is they are entering into. Making the claim of an invalid marriage problematic at best.
 
In our diocese a mandatory formation period takes place to make certain the couple knows what it is they are entering into
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Are you talking MARRIAGE PREP … i.e., Pre-Cana?
 
bellatrix said:
I want his child to be baptized!
But he is still married to me according to the Church.
I think therein lies the issue. If I interpreted what I read correctly, it means if he was unmarried and wanted the child baptized, that wouldn’t be an issue.
So for my particular case, he needs to get an annulment so that he can get his child baptized.
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No. That is absolutely not the case.
I don’t get it tho. Despite the mess, that innocent child should not be denied a baptism.
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Here’s the thing: baptism isn’t magic. It isn’t a “get out of hell free” card. Baptism creates an obligation for the baptized and for the parents of the baptized. In the event of a child baptism, the parents of the baptized commit to raising the child in the Catholic faith, including attendance at Mass on Sundays and holydays, education in the faith (Catholic school or a CCD program), etc.

If the pastor doesn’t have a “founded hope” that this will occur, what should he do? Baptize the child – and thus set your ex up for a failure that has serious consequences? Make the child a Catholic Christian who is essentially ‘orphaned’ in his faith? Far better to advise the parents of the reason for the delay, and help them prepare to enable their child to enter fully into the life of the Church!

An annulment might be one of the things that your ex does, in order to prepare for his child’s entry into the Church (after all, if he gets an annulment, he’s on the path that will lead to the ability for him to receive the sacraments). But, we can’t say that the baptism is conditioned upon the nullity…
 
Gorgias said:
No. Baptismal prep. We do it here in my diocese, too. It prepares parents so that they know what obligations they enter into by virtue of having their child baptized.
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Yes there absolutely is. Which leads me to believe that the ex did seek a way around it as he tried with our Pre-Cana too. He just didn’t have the patience to sit through it.
 
Gorgias said:
No. Baptismal prep. We do it here in my diocese, too. It prepares parents so that they know what obligations they enter into by virtue of having their child baptized.
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Gorgias said:
No. That is absolutely not the case.

Here’s the thing: baptism isn’t magic. It isn’t a “get out of hell free” card. Baptism creates an obligation for the baptized and for the parents of the baptized. In the event of a child baptism, the parents of the baptized commit to raising the child in the Catholic faith, including attendance at Mass on Sundays and holydays, education in the faith (Catholic school or a CCD program), etc.

If the pastor doesn’t have a “founded hope” that this will occur, what should he do? Baptize the child – and thus set your ex up for a failure that has serious consequences? Make the child a Catholic Christian who is essentially ‘orphaned’ in his faith? Far better to advise the parents of the reason for the delay, and help them prepare to enable their child to enter fully into the life of the Church!

An annulment might be one of the things that your ex does, in order to prepare for his child’s entry into the Church (after all, if he gets an annulment, he’s on the path that will lead to the ability for him to receive the sacraments). But, we can’t say that the baptism is conditioned upon the nullity…
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That makes sense. He wouldn’t attend Mass! And she isn’t Catholic.
 
Thank you everybody for your help.

I do not know what the outcome will be. I will go ahead with the annulment process and hope for the best.
 
alphomega said:
As I read through this thread there seams to me an idea woven in it that one simply needs to apply for an annulment and it’s granted.

Marriage is a sacrament. Just as baptism, confirmation, and Holy orders can’t be undone. When a valid marriage takes place it can not be dissolved.

The OP states that they were married in the Catholic church. This, it seems to me add’s another layer on to this. In our diocese a mandatory formation period takes place to make certain the couple knows what it is they are entering into. Making the claim of an invalid marriage problematic at best.
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I know you aren’t automatically granted one, but in this case, there are good grounds. His affair predates the marriage and was going on throughout the marriage prep process. His vows were obviously dishonest when he took them (and the dishonesty would mean that OP did not have an important piece of info prior to entering into marriage with this individual), which points towards annulment. OP would have good grounds to marry again in the Catholic Church; he might be advised to seek counseling.
 
WingsOfEagles said:
Thank you for clearing up the question of what you have to “prove”. I believe OP stated that the infidelity occurred even prior to their marriage (without her knowledge), so the husband’s vows could be viewed as always dishonest.
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Even then, it’s not the dishonesty itself, but rather that the infidelity prior to the marriage makes a pretty strong statement about his intent

AMDG

hawk
 
Catholic1954 said:
One does not prove anything in the annulment process. You go through the interview, fill out the paperwork, turn in a list of witnesses and the tribunal will do the rest. Annulments are not granted just on the grounds of infidelity during the marriage, but on the state of mind at the time of the wedding. Your goal here should be for the annulment to be granted, not on the motivation of your ex. See a priest ASAP to get things started. Soon, this will be behind you and you can on with the rest of your life.
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The goal should be to establish if the first marriage was valid. Not that an annulment be granted. The goal is to find out the truth.
 
thistle said:
You be be interested in this link regarding guidelines for baptism:

annunciationevv.org/Guidelines-for-Baptism

This extract is from these guidelines:

"Are you living in a parish other than the one in which you wish to have your child baptized?

You are required to take your Baptismal Preparation in the parish in which you reside and then receive a testimonial letter from your Parish Priest to have your child baptized in another parish. This requirement respects the reality that pastors normally have sacramental jurisdiction only over their own parishioners. Therefore, when one seeks a sacrament outside of one’s parish, the proper pastor’s permission is necessary. Furthermore, the invitation to connect with one’s own proper parish first is founded on the hope that the faith-life of the family and of the one(s) to be baptized will be lived in community and not in isolation.
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Interesting. Our parish and diocese is different. They would never notify the parish of residence
 
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