Divorced people are not "outside" the church

[JReducation]

The Holy Father gave this teaching today and it’s fascinating. I’d thought I’d share it, because it clarifies some misunderstanding of Catholic tradition regarding being excommunicated and being unable to receive Holy Communion. It’s a very important theological difference, as well as a canonical one.

**

Vatican City, 3 June 2012 (VIS) - Yesterday evening, almost half a million people attended the “Celebration of Witnesses” at Bresso Park in Milan, Italy, one of events of the seventh World Meeting of Families. The Holy Father arrived at 8.30 p.m. to participate in the celebration during which he answered questions put to him by various families on subjects which included the economic crisis, the position of divorced people in the Church and the indissolubility of Marriage. Benedict XVI also recalled his own infancy and family life.

An engaged couple from Madagascar who are studying at university in Italy spoke of the anxiety they felt when faced with the “forever” of Marriage. The Pope explained that falling in love, being an emotion, is not eternal. “The emotion of love must be purified”, he said, “it must undertake a journey of discernment in which the mind and the will also come into play. … In the rite of Marriage the Church does not ask whether you are in love but whether you want, whether you are resolved. In other words, falling in love must become true love; it must involve the will and the mind in a journey (which is the period of engagement) of purification, of greater profundity so that it is truly all of man, with all his capacities, with the discernment of reason and the force of will, who says: ‘Yes, this is my life’”. The Holy Father also mentioned other important factors such as communion of life with others, with friends, the Church, the faith and God Himself.

A Brazilian family raised the issue of divorced couples who have remarried and cannot avail themselves of the Sacraments. Benedict XVI affirmed that “this is one of the the great causes of suffering for the Church today, and we do not have simple solutions. … Naturally, one very important factor is prevention. This means ensuring that, from the beginning, the act of falling love is transformed in a more profound and mature decision. Another factor is that of accompanying people during marriage, to ensure that families are never alone but find authentic company on their journey. We must tell people in this situation that the Church loves them, but they must see and feel this love”. Parishes and other Catholic communities “must do everything possible so that such people feel loved and accepted, that they are not ‘outsiders’ even if they cannot receive absolution and the Eucharist. They must see that they too live fully within the Church. … The Eucharist is real and shared if people truly enter into communion with the Body of Christ. Even without the ‘corporeal’ assumption of the Sacrament, we can be spiritually united to Christ”. It is important for divorced couples “to have the chance to live a life of faith, … to see that their suffering is a gift for the Church, because they also help others to defend the stability of love, of Marriage; … theirs is a suffering in the community of the Church for the great values of our faith”.**

Fraternally,

Br. JR, FFV

 

[TimothyH]

Parishes and other Catholic communities must do everything possible so that such people feel loved and accepted, that they are not ‘outsiders’ even if they cannot receive absolution and the Eucharist. They must see that they too live fully within the Church. … The Eucharist is real and shared if people truly enter into communion with the Body of Christ. Even without the ‘corporeal’ assumption of the Sacrament, we can be spiritually united to Christ". It is important for divorced couples “to have the chance to live a life of faith, … to see that their suffering is a gift for the Church, because they also help others to defend the stability of love, of Marriage; … theirs is a suffering in the community of the Church for the great values of our faith”.

What is the practical application in the parish, community and neighborhood? I mean, how is this played in the lives of the faithful? Is there something we can do?

I think that’s really the challenge, connecting these types of teaching to everyday parish life, moving from the abstract to the practical.

-Tim-

 

[Samuel63]

Divorced people are not outside the church. Divorce followed by a second marriage without an anullment is a problem though. What percentage of “catholics” fall into this category is another question.

 

[Dom_Passeri]

How can people living obstinately in grave sin be fully in the Church? They have cut themselves off from Christ.

I’m not talking about loving them, or being compassionate toward them. This is obvious, a given. Love the sinner hate the sin etc. But what about fraternal correction??? These people who are divorced and have remarried (the subject of the third paragraph) are on the road to hell. How do you tell that to somebody fraternally, charitably, in a way that will get them to correct the error of their ways, and get sanctifying grace back into their souls?

 

[TimothyH]

Divorced people are not outside the church. Divorce followed by a second marriage without an anullment is a problem though. What percentage of “catholics” fall into this category is another question.

People living this situation are immersed in it, and the percentages really don’t matter to them. To them it is not an abstract sociological problem to be solved but a very real situation they deal with in their personal lives.

The Holy Father has just said that these people, “can be spiritually united to Christ” and that it is important for divorced couples “to have the chance to live a life of faith.”

I think our attitudes towards a person in this situation is important. It must be very difficult for those who realize that they have made a mistake, repent but because of children or some other situation cannot break off the relationship, and so abstain from recpetion. To willingly make the choice to kneel in the pew while everyone else goes up to recieve shows great reverence for the Eucharist, and great faith and trust in God.

-Tim-

 

[Dom_Passeri]

The Holy Father has just said that these people, “can be spiritually united to Christ” and that it is important for divorced couples “to have the chance to live a life of faith.”
-Tim-

Again, how can a person living in a state of grave (mortal) sin be spiritually united to Christ? Because the pope said so?

 

[johndoe100]

I just went through a similar (self) excommunication because of being widowed and marring a single/never divorced non practicing Catholic, but *in a Protestant church. *After 23 years my wife finally did marry me again in a Catholic church. *That made me “worthy” to be in the communion line.

Apparently, divorced Catholics don’t have any chance at all for getting back in communion with the Pope and United Bishops? * Having lived it, all I can say is, "do what you have to do, and keep quiet about it.

 

[maryjk]

How can people living obstinately in grave sin be fully in the Church? They have cut themselves off from Christ.

I’m not talking about loving them, or being compassionate toward them. This is obvious, a given. Love the sinner hate the sin etc. But what about fraternal correction??? These people who are divorced and have remarried (the subject of the third paragraph) are on the road to hell. How do you tell that to somebody fraternally, charitably, in a way that will get them to correct the error of their ways, and get sanctifying grace back into their souls?

I know a couple that has been civilly married for many, many years. I am not sure how many years but they have grandchildren.

But he was married before and divorced, while still very young. He did not receive the applied for annulment. I don’t know the whole history, nor should I. But I do know that neither of them receive Communion and both regularly attend Mass.

So how would you advise this couple to correct the error of their ways? Divorce? Separate? Tell them they are on the road to Hell? What?

 

[Dom_Passeri]

The issue isn’t divorce. It’s divorce (without annulment) and re-“marriage”.

 

[Dom_Passeri]

So how would you advise this couple to correct the error of their ways? Divorce? Separate? Tell them they are on the road to Hell? What?

That was my question. How to you charitably correct somebody in circumstances like this? If the real (first) wife is still alive, then he’s still living in sin. If not, why don’t they just finally get married officially? If they’re not going to communion, as you suggest, then it is self-evident to them that they know there’s a problem with their relationship.

 

[TimothyH]

That was my question. How to you charitably correct somebody in circumstances like this? If the real (first) wife is still alive, then he’s still living in sin. If not, why don’t they just finally get married officially? If they’re not going to communion, as you suggest, then it is self-evident to them that they know there’s a problem with their relationship.

If they have willingly abstained from reception of the Eucharist then they have no need for correction.

Willing abstinence from recpetion is a sign of repentance, even if they cannot fully live that out in their faith life. The fact that they don’t recieve means that they are past needing charitable correction.

I think the question brought up by the Holy Father is, how do we love them? At least thats what I took away from what Brother quoted.

-Tim-

 

[maltmom]

My divorce has been final a year. I will be forever thankful that the Church welcomed me with open arms 2 months ago. I have already started the process for my decree of nullity. I now understand why my Priest repeatedly questioned me as to my status before joining the Church. I accept that I’m not in a position to even date until my decree is granted. I don’t know what I would have done if I had been told the door was closed to me because I made the stupidest mistake of my life and I’m now divorced.

 

[kmuestwin]

I just went through a similar (self) excommunication because of being widowed and marring a single/never divorced non practicing Catholic, but *in a Protestant church. *After 23 years my wife finally did marry me again in a Catholic church. *That made me “worthy” to be in the communion line.

Apparently, divorced Catholics don’t have any chance at all for getting back in communion with the Pope and United Bishops? * Having lived it, all I can say is, "do what you have to do, and keep quiet about it.

What horrible advice.

 

[Elizium23]

If they have willingly abstained from reception of the Eucharist then they have no need for correction.

Willing abstinence from recpetion is a sign of repentance, even if they cannot fully live that out in their faith life. The fact that they don’t recieve means that they are past needing charitable correction.

I think the question brought up by the Holy Father is, how do we love them? At least thats what I took away from what Brother quoted.

-Tim-

Untrue. If they are living as husband and wife and having marital relations then they are committing mortal sin on a regular basis. In fact they are publicly and obstinately committing that sin.

I have trouble reconciling the Holy Father’s remarks to the Church’s teaching on mortal sin. I believe that he is the Pope of Christian Unity, but this is a hard saying.

On the face of it, perhaps it is like the teaching on gay marriage. That we should accept sinners with open arms, even if their sin is abhorrent. I have gay friends and I have some very close friends who are in invalid marriages. Certainly I accept them personally. In fact, I never mention the fact that their sins are abhorrent. I don’t feel it’s any of my business.

Perhaps, in some corners of the world, remarried people are shunned and treated like pariahs. This is not the attitude I have seen in the USA. Maybe this is entirely foreign to us because popular opinion here accepts so much that is sinful. I think the Holy Father is saying that coming to church on Sundays, and being accepted, is the first step to a true conversion of hearts, and complete reconciliation with the Church. The Church is a hospital for sinners, not (merely) a museum of saints.

 

[Cominghome89]

There is one pastoral alternative that (while unpopular or even “inconceivable” to some) is sadly not even mentioned a lot of the time.

A couple where one or both spouses are divorced and “remarried” have the option to live as brother and sister, that is, to abstain from marital relations until the situation is resolved. Now, from a natural point of view, this is extremely difficult to live out (although with grace, God can do amazing things). And in a sex-obsessed culture, many people would scoff at this as impossible. But, for couples like the ones mentioned in above posts, who revere the Eucharist by abstaining from it, and who seem to recognize how serious the situation is…shouldn’t this option be considered? It seems that it would allow the couple to go to confession and be reconcilled to the Church and return to the Sacrament, but would still keep the family (situations with children) intact.

My point isn’t that every divorced and remarried couple can and will do this. But I wonder if priests really are stressing that this is a possibility, or if some just assume that the couple would never do this?

Someone with more knowledge or experience in this area, please share.

In Christ through Mary,
Frank

 

[Dom_Passeri]

If they have willingly abstained from reception of the Eucharist then they have no need for correction.

That’s true, insofar as unworthily receiving sacraments is concerned. On the other hand, obstinately living in sin neeeeeeeds correction.

Willing abstinence from recpetion is a sign of repentance, even if they cannot fully live that out in their faith life. The fact that they don’t recieve means that they are past needing charitable correction.

But we are required to repent of all our grave sins, not just some of them. That they don’t receive is a good thing. That they are not guilty of the Body and Blood of the Lord is good. But they haven’t repented of the adultery, unfortunately. If you’re not racking up mortal sins (sacrilege) every week, that’s great, but there is still a mortal sin present, which the couple acknowledges. What happens to those who have unrepented mortal sins on their souls at death?

I think the question brought up by the Holy Father is, how do we love them? At least thats what I took away from what Brother quoted.

-Tim-

That was my question too. I guess the first and best thing is to pray for them…or else just sweep the thing under the rug and hope they can sort it out themselves since nobody can figure out how to tell them nicely to confess their sins and amend their lives.

 

[johndoe100]

What horrible advice.

Well, 23 years is a long time, and I lived it! It’s very hard for the human soul not to weaken after years and years of torture. I do not believe that Jesus intended denial of the Eucharist to people who are already wounded.

 

[Dom_Passeri]

Certainly not! And aren’t we all wounded? But one has to have the proper disposition in order to receive.

 

[JReducation]

What is the practical application in the parish, community and neighborhood? I mean, how is this played in the lives of the faithful? Is there something we can do?

I think that’s really the challenge, connecting these types of teaching to everyday parish life, moving from the abstract to the practical.

-Tim-

I’m not the Holy Father and will not attempt to speak for him. I can only share what I have seen done, which is very good. I have seen parishes that have support ministries for divorced and remarried Catholics. The one that I’m thinking about, the folks get together every week and discuss their spiritual journey with one of the deacons. They pray together and they address such issues as raising their children Catholic and preparing them for the sacraments. They address important issues such as how to help the children understand that that mom and dad’s situation is outside of the norm. It can be very tempting for parents such situation to simply give children the impression that what they learn about married and remarriage is nonsense. You need help to explain to the children that the Church’s teaching is the truth and that mom and dat’s situation is not the norm. There is a balance, the Church is good and her teachings are true, but that does not make mom and dad evil people. This kind of ministry addresses such issues.

They address concerns about children born to two marriages. This is very important. These men and women need to know what to do and how to be responsible parents, regardless of their marital status. They need to deal with issues of forgiveness. There is a lot of anger and hostility in divorce.

Thought the tribunal must always rule in favor of the bond, that does not mean that there is a bond. What it means that the couple who applied for a decree of nullity was unable to prove that there was not bond… Just because you can’t prove it, does not mean that it’s not real. People who have applied for a decree of nullity and have been denied have to live with the doubt and they have to become reconciled to the fact that the Church is not against them, but simply protecting the bond. People often take it as a personal rejection and walk away from the Church. These ministries help these folks distinguish between the Church being protective of the bond, not really against them as people. The tribunal’s conclusion is not a reflection on you as a person. It’s just that you were unable to prove your claim. You may be a saint, for all we know.

There is a lot that can be done at the parish level, because there are many many issues.

How can people living obstinately in grave sin be fully in the Church? They have cut themselves off from Christ.

Actually, that’s what His Holiness is trying to clarify. He’s saying that because one objectively is in a state of sin, does not mean that one is outside of the Church. There are two different realities. A baptized Catholic will always be a Catholic and always has a right to be part of the Church, even if he or she cannot receive the sacraments. That person cannot be denied this right, nor should they feel that they do not have a right to be there. That’s what he’s saying.

He’s saying that the Church has never said that divorced and remarried people are excommunicated. They continue to be fully Catholic and fully members of the Church by virtue of their baptism. They don’t have to right to receive the sacraments, because of an objective situation of sin. However, he is explaining that the situation is objective. We have no idea what the truth is. Only God knows if the person is truly in a state of sin. We can only describe what we see, not what we don’t see. We should not make any attempt to judge people or exclude people based on assumptions. We must stick with the law. There is no law that says that a divorced and remarried Catholic is no longer Catholic.

As to his state of grace, that’s an assumption that we may never make. We can only say that objectively, from all appearances, it would seem that this person is living in sin. Are they really living in sin? The Holy Father is not saying yes or no, because he’s not God and neither are any of us. We can only say what it looks like. That’s the best we can do. The rest is up to God.

But we must encourage the person to unite his sufferings and his desire for the Eucharist to the sufferings of Christ on the cross during the mass and let Christ sort it out.

 

[JReducation]

Again, how can a person living in a state of grave (mortal) sin be spiritually united to Christ? Because the pope said so?

Actually yes. The pope can define what has not been defined. But in this case, that’s not what’s happening here. He’s not defining anything new. He’s offering a catechesis for our benefit, so that we can help others.

What’s happening is what I explained above. We can only say what something looks like to us according to the law as we know it. That’s legitimate. If we look at moral theology, the word “objective” always precedes the word “sin”. Moral theology never alleges to know who is and who is not culpable of sin. It only calls something a sin. Culpability is determined case by case. I always like to use the example of the little kid who plays cowboys and Indians with Dad’s gun. His intention is to kill the Indian and he does. Objectively, he has committed murder. Subjectively, it is most unlikely.

We cannot say what it is that Christ sees. Therefore, we must not let these people go away feeling that they have no place in the Church or that their situation is hopeless. We encourage them to throw themselves at the foot of the cross and entrust themselves to God’s mercy.

The Holy Father is trying to help us understand that we cannot just let these people wander off believing that all is lost, because they’re in a situation that is too complicated for them to change at this point. We must encourage them to remain as close to Christ as possible, even if it’s through spiritual communion, since they can’t receive the Holy Eucharist.

He’s not endorsing sin. He’s doing something else. He’s correcting the rest of us who have been thinking all along that we had it all figure out and he’s telling us that it’s not as simple as we think it is. He’s telling us that the Church has allowed us to think of these things in very black and white terms, because we are not smart enough to understand the complexities that the theologian and the pastor see. But now the divorce and remarriage is no longer kept hidden, we Catholics have to learn what theologians and pastors have known all along. That is, that people cannot be allowed to just wander off, believing that they are excommunicated when in fact they are not. We have to let them know that they continue to be part of the Church. They continue to be Catholic. We have to help them deal with the complex issues and questions that arise in their situation. But we can’t help them, unless we learn a little moral theology and a lot about pastoral care.

The reason that I put it up, is because I have found that lately the Holy Father has been challenging the average Catholic to rise up to his level of theological scholarship rather than him trying to simplify for us. These seems to be a theme of the last four papacies.

Pope Paul VI did it with law. He was an incredible lawyer, both civil and canon. He did not want to simplify the law for the laity. He made up his mind that the laity would have to sit down and study Canon Law and canonical tradition.

Bl. John Paul was a master at Systematic Theology and philosophy. His writings also challenged the laity to rise up to his level of scholarship. He made no attempt to make his writings comprehensible for the man in the pews.

Pope John Paul I, though he was pope only 33 days, as a Cardinal had done the same in his diocese. He made no attempts to simplify for his people. His writings were very high and the people had to struggle to comprehend.

Now, we see the same with Pope Benedict. His statements are very high and he expects us to rise to his level. If means to go out and take some courses, then do so. Read more, attend workshops, listen to his weekly catechesis in which he explains some of these things. Read his books and the works other theologians who can explain his work.

It’s a beautiful time if one is intellectually inclined., because the popes are giving us the benefit of the doubt. We’re not simpletons. There is much that we don’t know, because it was not taught to us; but now the pope is putting it on the table so that we can study it as he has. That’s pretty exciting.

I find it exciting to spend 10 - 12 hours a day over several books comparing and contrasting in order to understand what Pope Benedict has said on this or that point. It gets my blood going. I think it’s awesome.

Fraternally,

Br. JR, FFV