If somebody is looking for confirmation and ratification of their refusal to hear God’s Word and the teachings of the magisterium of His Church, CAF is not the place to find that. People who are willfully persisting in a clearly sinful lifestyle are frantic and desperate to find some way — any way — to feel good about themselves, and no longer to have to fear hell and damnation. Perhaps not every single one of them, but many of them, know, deep down, that they are wrong, and they will react, sometimes violently (on a verbal level, I would hope not a physical one), when they are finally “backed into a corner” and convicted of their sin by something that somebody else leads them to see.
I do not discuss my sin problems, spirituality, or prayer life, with anyone, unless I have a need to do so — teaching purposes, or bearing witness to things that need bearing witness. I will not discuss what my one “hard commandment” is — I’d come across as a horrible person (and maybe I am) — but I will say that it is not the sixth or the ninth, it has absolutely nothing to do with sex. Similarly, I do not go around talking about how many rosaries I have said, how often I go to confession, and so on. Some would say “that’s nowhere near enough, that’s where your sin problem comes from”, while others would say “you’re just a religious nut, spend that time doing something useful instead”. Can’t please everybody, no use even to try. I walk with the Lord, and He walks with me, and He’s the one I ultimately have to answer to, bottom line.
The only time I discuss such matters, is when there is a need to, to teach others and help them towards virtue. Case in point: my wife and I sinfully used NFP for a number of years, for selfish reasons. It didn’t happen overnight. It just became easy and comfortable. I can’t speak for my wife (we are divorced and she has moved on to an illicit and invalid union, while I remain single), but I finally reached the point where I could excuse this no longer. So I went to confession and laid things bare.
I only tell this story because, in recent years, there has been a tendency among even some faithful, orthodox Catholics, seemingly to leapfrog right over the teachings of three Popes regarding the use of NFP, and to use it for whatever reasons an illicitly contracepting couple would use NFP, including selfish ones, or merely “we just don’t want children”, either for a time, or permanently. The reasoning seems to be “we are using NFP, which is not immoral, so we’re OK — we will accept a child if that happens, but we’d prefer not”. That is precisely what my wife and I told ourselves for many years. The Popes have said “grave” or “serious” reasons, and some will say “just” reasons — a slippery slope to “any reason at all”? I have an inquiry out to the CDF in Rome (what used to be called the Holy Office, in fact, their street address in Vatican City is “Sant’Uffizio”) regarding this, but given the coronavirus crisis, an answer may be many months in coming, possibly never.
I do not discuss my sin problems, spirituality, or prayer life, with anyone, unless I have a need to do so — teaching purposes, or bearing witness to things that need bearing witness. I will not discuss what my one “hard commandment” is — I’d come across as a horrible person (and maybe I am) — but I will say that it is not the sixth or the ninth, it has absolutely nothing to do with sex. Similarly, I do not go around talking about how many rosaries I have said, how often I go to confession, and so on. Some would say “that’s nowhere near enough, that’s where your sin problem comes from”, while others would say “you’re just a religious nut, spend that time doing something useful instead”. Can’t please everybody, no use even to try. I walk with the Lord, and He walks with me, and He’s the one I ultimately have to answer to, bottom line.
The only time I discuss such matters, is when there is a need to, to teach others and help them towards virtue. Case in point: my wife and I sinfully used NFP for a number of years, for selfish reasons. It didn’t happen overnight. It just became easy and comfortable. I can’t speak for my wife (we are divorced and she has moved on to an illicit and invalid union, while I remain single), but I finally reached the point where I could excuse this no longer. So I went to confession and laid things bare.
I only tell this story because, in recent years, there has been a tendency among even some faithful, orthodox Catholics, seemingly to leapfrog right over the teachings of three Popes regarding the use of NFP, and to use it for whatever reasons an illicitly contracepting couple would use NFP, including selfish ones, or merely “we just don’t want children”, either for a time, or permanently. The reasoning seems to be “we are using NFP, which is not immoral, so we’re OK — we will accept a child if that happens, but we’d prefer not”. That is precisely what my wife and I told ourselves for many years. The Popes have said “grave” or “serious” reasons, and some will say “just” reasons — a slippery slope to “any reason at all”? I have an inquiry out to the CDF in Rome (what used to be called the Holy Office, in fact, their street address in Vatican City is “Sant’Uffizio”) regarding this, but given the coronavirus crisis, an answer may be many months in coming, possibly never.
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