I am responding to your name "IWantGod."
Jesus clearly tells us the way to find God (the Father)
John 14:6
6 Jesus said to him, “I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. 7 If you know me, you will know my Father also. From now on you do know him and have seen him.
8 Philip said to him, “Lord, show us the Father, and we will be satisfied.” 9 Jesus said to him, “Have I been with you all this time, Philip, and you still do not know me? Whoever has seen me has seen the Father. How can you say, ‘Show us the Father’? 10 Do you not believe that I am in the Father and the Father is in me? The words that I say to you I do not speak on my own; but the Father who dwells in me does his works. 11 Believe me that I am in the Father and the Father is in me; but if you do not, then believe me because of the works themselves.
In your quest to find God, you must study the personality of Jesus and come to KNOW that personality as you might a family member or close friend. Jesus says this is the only way to come to the Father. Jesus asserts the unity of his personality with that of the Father. If you KNOW Jesus, you will KNOW the Father. If you cannot believe that Jesus and the Father are one, then believe in Jesus’ miracles. Healing of lepers and the blind, raising the dead (Lazarus), casting out demons, walking on water, and especially Jesus’ true death on the cross and his true resurrection of the body which demonstrate his omnipotent Godly power.
No amount of rational inquiry, philosophical speculation, or intellectual banter will lead you to the Father.
Attend a Catholic Church and read a Catholic Bible with some guidance. RCIA Classes at your local Catholic Church are a great start on your spiritual quest.