Do i marry him?

[josh987654321]

At all of you that have taken sincere, compassionate time, thank you for listening and not doubting my situation. I have been dealing with this for years and it seems that every time i cause him to get angry, i come out physically hurt. Each time leaving me with more emotional, mental and physical pain. The physical accidental hurts are becoming more evident on my body. People ask why a stint on my finger. Or why a wrist wrap. Or why the bruising on my body. Judynurse, i got chills and fear ran through me in your story. I am deeply sorry to hear that this happened to such a dear friend of yours. You see, every time im caught up in one of his anger blowups, i fear for my life. It is my son, 10, that saves me every time. Hes an angel that shows up at the scenes every time to stand guard for my life. In those moments, my fiance starts to blame me to him and makes me at fault for his reaction. There have been many times, where i have felt that in his anger, he is capable of taking my neck and wringing it because he loses control and looks like a demon in such situations. Im afraid that i’ll do anything to ever anger him again. I keep thinking that it is my fault and that I am the problem. It is I who stirs him up and then he reacts. Am i still wrong? He says i rattle his cage.

I would like to refer you again to my previous post (especially the links there) here #76

As Dr Phil say’s, physical violance is an absolute deal breaker, even if you were to believe that you were the reason for your fiance’s behaviour, I believe it only indicates the urgancy for the two of you to separate for the good of you both and especially your kids.

In the quiz’s by Dr Phil on whether you are in an abusive relationship, he say’s that if you answer yes to even 1 of them, you may be in an abusive relationship and just by reading your posts on here, I answered ‘yes’ to many of them, so I believe it’s not even a close call.

Im going to visit with my priest today. Thank you all again and Blessings to all. Id say im praying for you all, but at this point i feel like i cant even pray because theres a hinderance to my fellowship with God. I cant focus but on the fear that consumes me. Thank you all again and much love to you.

I would like to ask you to please go back to the start of this thread and pretend that ‘seekingtruth411’ is not you, than re-read these posts and ask yourself what advice you would give to this person. I believe red flags and warning lights should be going wild.

I would also say that giving up on prayer in times of adversity (especially with what you are going through) is a big mistake, it’s in times of adversity when we need prayer all the more! where we need the counsel, comfort and wisdom of the Lord all the more!

I would especially like to encourage you to simply visit your local Catholic Church and just sit befiore Jesus real presense in the Holy Eucharist and allow Him to console and comfort you, he waits for us night and day at the tabernacle.

I said to the man who stood at the gate of the year: “Give me a light that I may tread safely into the unknown.” And he replied: “Go out into the darkness and put your hand into the Hand of God. That shall be to you better than a light and safer than a known way.”

I hope I have helped

God Bless

Thank you for reading
Josh

 

[rinnie]

Thank you all again. Judy nurse and to all those of u who pained and suffered abuse, my heartfelt empathy to you all. I praise God that you survived and overcame evil! I will have to wait it out then. I will be checking on here periodically. I am seeking counseling because he repeatedly tells me that im messed up in my head. So yes, im taking the first step to recovery. Thank you all much! ������

Girlfriend you are fine, there is nothing wrong with your head. You know in your heart something is wrong which is your first step.

I agree with you seeking counseling not because you are messed up in the head, but because you need to stop letting these people manipulate you. Which tells me you are a very sweet caring person.

People like you are sitting ducks for people like him.

Remember what God told us in the bible, the devil is the master of deceit, and disguise.

They prey on the good and honest.

I am going to make a guess here, but I bet before you dated him you had great self esteem. That’s usually the case.

Men like him who have no self-esteem find people like you, and since they have none they take yours. They make you feel worthless etc. ITs an old story.

You hang in there, I am praying for you!!

 

[rinnie]

At all of you that have taken sincere, compassionate time, thank you for listening and not doubting my situation. I have been dealing with this for years and it seems that every time i cause him to get angry, i come out physically hurt. Each time leaving me with more emotional, mental and physical pain. The physical accidental hurts are becoming more evident on my body. People ask why a stint on my finger. Or why a wrist wrap. Or why the bruising on my body.
Judynurse, i got chills and fear ran through me in your story. I am deeply sorry to hear that this happened to such a dear friend of yours. You see, every time im caught up in one of his anger blowups, i fear for my life. It is my son, 10, that saves me every time. Hes an angel that shows up at the scenes every time to stand guard for my life. In those moments, my fiance starts to blame me to him and makes me at fault for his reaction. There have been many times, where i have felt that in his anger, he is capable of taking my neck and wringing it because he loses control and looks like a demon in such situations. Im afraid that i’ll do anything to ever anger him again. I keep thinking that it is my fault and that I am the problem. It is I who stirs him up and then he reacts. Am i still wrong? He says i rattle his cage.
Im going to visit with my priest today. Thank you all again and Blessings to all. Id say im praying for you all, but at this point i feel like i cant even pray because theres a hinderance to my fellowship with God. I cant focus but on the fear that consumes me. Thank you all again and much love to you.

Remember one thing my love, the fear you are feeling comes from the devil. Don’t let it consume you any longer.

Here is a trick my Dad taught me years ago.
Whenever you feel fear, sadness, depression, anxiety, etc say this. I swear it works!!

In the name of Jesus Christ, Satan get away from me!! It truly works! When you call out to God the devil will RUN he is afraid of God!

 

[rinnie]

:dts: It would be better to treat 10 trolls as serious posters than fatally mistake one serious poster for a troll.

This is true! And even if this is fake, God works in mysterious ways.

He has his reasons for letting it happen.

For me, I will pray for this person, either way!

 

[josh987654321]

Josh I just saw your posts. Great posts! God bless!

Thank you.

Remember one thing my love, the fear you are feeling comes from the devil. Don’t let it consume you any longer.

Here is a trick my Dad taught me years ago.
Whenever you feel fear, sadness, depression, anxiety, etc say this. I swear it works!!

In the name of Jesus Christ, Satan get away from me!! It truly works! When you call out to God the devil will RUN he is afraid of God!

 

[JCnMe]

… the definition of “crazy” is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different outcome … and now your 10 year old son is part of this insanity… you can’t change the man- you can only change how you react to him…if you can’t do it for yourself-get your son and his mother(you) to a more sane and secure environment… you may know the difference-but to your son this is normal??? It’s all he knows-and that IS your fault-you are his mother- change this now-let your son have a childhood that he can feel safe and not have to protect his mother …your son has to come first and your job is to be his mother and protect and nurture him… right now you are one blackout rage from not being here for him…and you are just waiting for it… what kind of message do you think that sends to your son… when all it takes(and I know that’s not easy-been there done that) is that first step out the door to a better life for both of you…my prayers are with you…I promise you- once you are on the outside looking in- you’ll wonder why it was ever a question to marry him or not…you can do this:thumbsup:

 

[The_Bucket]

http://images.sodahead.com/profiles/0/0/2/4/1/7/1/2/3/hahahaha-no-107105163314.png

 

[MacQ]

:dts: It would be better to treat 10 trolls as serious posters than fatally mistake one serious poster for a troll.

 

[MacQ]

… it seems that every time i cause him to get angry, i come out physically hurt. Each time leaving me with more emotional, mental and physical pain.

You see, every time im caught up in one of his anger blowups, i fear for my life. It is my son, 10, that saves me every time.

Im afraid that i’ll do anything to ever anger him again. I keep thinking that it is my fault and that I am the problem. It is I who stirs him up and then he reacts. Am i still wrong? He says i rattle his cage.

… at this point i feel like i cant even pray because theres a hinderance to my fellowship with God. I cant focus but on the fear that consumes me. Thank you all again and much love to you.

Dear sweet woman:
I see the veil starting to lift, and you seeing your situation more realistically.
THank you for listening to advice that was sincerely and caringly given here.

You and your children truly ARE in a dangerous situation.
This role is not what you want for your son either.
Please get away from this man…but FIRST call a Battered Women hotline or shelter for advice on the safe ways to do so.
This must be done carefully and safely.

Finally, I just want to say two other things:

1. YOU are not the cause of any of his blowups. Shed that blame. Making you believe that is is his way of continuing to enslave you, and justify what he’s done. Nothing will change for him or you as long as you stay part of the cycle. (In that sense, it’s better for your fiance too…a break in the cycle may be his only chance to change too. ) Just be careful how you do it.
2. There is no hindrance to your relationship with God…He is always there. Waiting for you.

 

[The_Bucket]

MacQ is right. Get to a shelter, contact and/or build your network, contact your priest and contact your attorney. Do it in person or with untraceable numbers/emails so he can’t track you.

Then go and cut off all contact. Permanently.

 

[Sarcelle]

Remember one thing my love, the fear you are feeling comes from the devil. Don’t let it consume you any longer.

Here is a trick my Dad taught me years ago.
Whenever you feel fear, sadness, depression, anxiety, etc say this. I swear it works!!

In the name of Jesus Christ, Satan get away from me!! It truly works! When you call out to God the devil will RUN he is afraid of God!

My spiritual director also advised me to keep a wallet sized picture.of Jesus and whenever I feel fear and /or anxiety, I should pull.out the picture and say several times, “Jesus, I trust in you.”

It works