Do I say anything?

[Book_Worm]

I’ve read this forum from time to time in the past, but never joined until I felt the need to seek advice on this subject. I know that this doesn’t really pertain to family relations, but one of the subsets in the heading is “advice,” so I’m posting it here.

Background: Our diocese recently completed the first phase of a capital campaign. From everything I’ve heard discussed among my Catholic friends in the diocese, the amount requested from each family was in the range of $10,000-25,000, over a four-year period. This is in addition to our parish support and the Bishop’s Annual Appeal. (I know our donation was solicited in that range; I don’t know if the upper limit was higher.) Each church will receive approximately 20% of the total donated by its parishioners if the parish meets its goal. End B/G

Last weekend we had the joy of seeing our DGS baptized. It was excruciatingly hot here, as it was across most of the country. At Mass on Saturday night, the priest announced that the air conditioning system was not functioning and that repairing it was one of the things that was on the to-do list with the funds from the capital campaign. We emailed most of the friends and relatives who had been invited to the Baptism and warned them to dress lightly.

The church was very uncomfortable during the Baptism. The overhead fans were not turned on until my DH asked to do so. Our pastor performed the Baptism, and used part of the the sermon to stress the fact that there would be another phase to the capital campaign in the fall and that anyone who had not contributed so far should do so then because the A/C system could not be repaired otherwise.

The problem? Out of the 30+ attendees at the Baptism, six were parishioners (four of whom I KNOW had already pledged). About ten were parishioners at other parishes in our diocese, there were another six from other states, several were non-Catholics, and there were also about six or eight who had left the Church, mostly with very bad feelings.

At the reception following the Baptism, I overheard several very negative comments about his remarks. There is a lot of resentment over the amount of money that has been requested; for most of my friends an amount like this would be a great sacrifice and there are still bad feelings over the amount of money our diocese has spent to compensate victims of pedophile priests. I also heard a few comments from some of the former Catholics about the Church still harping about money and how their new churches don’t do this, which led to further criticisms of church policies. The non-Catholics were polite, at least to my knowledge, and didn’t say anything.

I don’t know why Father said what he did. A simple apology for the temperature in the church with a comment that this is one of the things he for which hopes to use the funds from the capital campaign would have been fine. However, he accomplished nothing by prodding the attendees since they were not, for the most part, involved at all in his parish’s portion of the campaign.

I am not inclined to stir the pot, but I am wondering if there is a tactful way to discuss his comments with him to let him know that they had the opposite effect of what he intended. He has only been at this parish a little over two years. Yesterday’s bulletin had the results of the campaign; our parish missed its goal by more than 20%. It is the first time in my memory that it didn’t surpass the goal by 25-50%.

Speak up or keep my comments to myself?

 

[90Domer]

Was this a private baptism or were other babies there to be baptized? At our parish, there are baptisms every Sunday at a set time.

Our church has had two capital campaigns since we joined. I know that professional fundraisers help the church set a goal, usually aiming quite high as a suggested donation and hoping to get a certain percentage of what is asked. Often, the number is based off of the weekly giving amount of a particular family.

Can you bring up your issue (which I agree was not the proper setting for a money talk) to a parish council member, who can then bring it up to the priest in the context of a meeting?

In our parish, we also missed our goal for the Catholic Charities appeal. This economy has been tough on ever strong parishes like ours. So, I think many churches are missing goals they once surpassed–and the bar is never set lower.

Always remember that giving is personal, and it is between you and God.

 

[Book_Worm]

It just happened that DGS was the only baby that particular Sunday. All 30 or so people in attendance were our friends and family.

We do not have a very active parish council. I believe there’s something like a financial advisory board, but that’s all. I teach CCD and am active in a couple of other ministries, but have no knowledge of an actual parish council.

The parish is in one of the wealthiest communities in the country, one that is heavily populated by the 1%… My friends in neighboring parishes, which are much less affluent, have told me that their parishes have met their goals and surpassed them.

I was so disappointed that an opportunity to reach out to the lapsed Catholics and invite them to rejoice in the Baptism of a new baby turned out to have completely the opposite effect.

 

[Sunbreak]

I don’t think I would say anything. It could be that the pastor is feeling pressured by the Archdiocese to meet this goal. Also, the Archdiocese might be insisting that the parish pay the total goal, whether or not the parishioners have given it - in other words, the parish still has to make up the difference out of its regular funds. Thus, the pastor could be really frustrated with trying to balance Archdiocese demands with parish needs.

 

[KrazyKat]

No, I would not say anything. It is past and everyone knows that every service in every church there is a request for money. At my parish we do not have A/C in the summer, nor adequate heat in the winter and we are always told that it is because of lack of funds. Just found out they carry a balance of close to $300,000.00 in a savings account, but every week they ask us to tighten our belts and give more.

As for anyone telling you that you are directed to donate a certain amount is ridiculous. I deep six these mailings with a clear conscience.

 

[quiet52]

I would write him a letter. He probably was way too specific. Maybe your pastor might be clueless about the effect of his words. He might not be aware of the “mix” of your group, and how they reacted.
It’s up to us lay people to inform the clergy – or they’ll continue to do this and create more ill feelings.
I suggest that if you write or talk with him, don’t insist that he not cover the topic at all, but explain that the parishioners would have gotten the message with much less information.