Do men really understand what PORN does to women?

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If I posted what it does to me, my soul, my insides, would any many CARE and try and understand and TRY to strive to fight on women’s behalf, or do they just not care?

Women, how do you cope? How do you get rid of this weird awful twisted sense that shuts off trust and that shuts off the ability to do good as if by some sort of reflex, like some hand of Satan twisted you and you are choking on your own righteous anger? How can I stop it from ripping to shreds my already weak ability to trust men in general? How is this not killing other women. Why aren’t women being more vocal about it? Why are men EXCUSING themselves of it?

Even at that, how can you trust men who are priests? After all “they are human” as the excuse is heard when you hear of a scandal of some sort. I never understood that. How are you to confess certain sins without the possibility of being a trigger for them, when you heard from other men that it is for them?
 
Probably, but there are distasteful things in all aspects of life. There is little one can do except set an example and encourage those around you to live up to it.

Counter question: Do women who watch the Chippendales know what that does to men? 😛
 
Sorry, Viewer, I’m too hurt right now to laugh. Its a serious topic to me.

I don’t find sexual sin funny at all. I find it the easiest way for Satan to have what he wants.
 
Hi Anne.

I know it is very degrading to women who participate in it, and it makes the men who use it view women as objects and not as made in the image of God.

Can you share more about why you wrote this post? Obviously it affects you very strongly!

Thank you
 
And do they CARE?

I’m so sick of it.
Some men do. However, as so-called Adult Bookstores opened across the country in the 1970s, along with strip clubs and topless bars, highly paid lawyers for the pornographers said they had the First Amendment right to do this. It was legal, regardless of what some ‘Christian nuts’ were saying at the time. What was meant to be intimate and private was suddenly exposed to the world. I mean, just several years earlier, the worst you could legally buy was Playboy, which only featured nude and partly nude women, not graphic gynecological sex.

And where was the Women’s Liberation Movement at the time? The group that called men “male chauvenist pigs”? Only a small attempt was made to address this issue by them but it soon faded away. Why is the National Organization for Women silent about this now?

I used to go to a forum for men who are against porn. Soon, there were messages posted like: “I love porn! What’s wrong with you guys?”

Movies and TV programs are filled with actresses repeating lines from the scripts they’re given – casual sex is OK. Sex without marriage is OK. Then the word is put out that some of these women are posing somewhere. Then we have actresses that have appeared topless in movies, and even engaged in sex scenes, but at least they were less graphic. So why? Why are young women saying yes to all this as they play characters that think nothing is wrong with non-marital sex, along with the male actors who do and say the same?

I’ve quit watching most TV shows and I might go to see one, maybe two, movies a year. I’m sick of turning my head at the ‘naughty scenes.’ I’m tired of it. It’s immoral, sends the wrong message and it’s a waste of time.

It was Hollywood that gradually turned up the volume on sex over the last 40 years, and made some Americans believe it’s OK.

Peace,
Ed
 
OP I’m very sorry you are so upset. It sounds like something perhaps just happened to make you feel so immediately strong about it. Yes, Porn is a very terrible thing. I unfortunately don’t have the answers to all your questions. I know that it is not a problem in my immediate life, so it’s less of a concern for me, so that’s why I myself am less upset by it.

As far as confessing, yes, priests are human, and I try to be vague and honest with a priest when confessing. “Misusing God’s gift of sexuality” is what I will say when confessing any sin of that nature, so that they are not so graphically tempted. I’ve never been pressed for more detail.
 
I don’t think men really normally think about what it does to women, no. Well, we need to be aware that these women are somebody’s sister, mother, wife, girlfriend, etc.

We are also promoting an industry that teaches men to use women as nothing more than sex objects.

Also, a lot of women “go along with” this, join their boyfriends and husbands with this.

Pornography does a lot of damage, because it’s also really a form of infidelity, putting a woman against very unrealistic expectations, that she is in competition against these very young women, models, often with plastic surgery, and sometimes with computer-enhanced images, perfected to remove flaws.

The men are giving to these fantasies what he really should be giving to his wife.

Further, the fantasies often get progressively more and more away from God, into more perversion.
 
Probably, but there are distasteful things in all aspects of life. There is little one can do except set an example and encourage those around you to live up to it.

Counter question: Do women who watch the Chippendales know what that does to men? 😛
That was really insensitive.
 
When we consider we were made in the Divine image, in the image and likeness of God, this becomes more understandable why God takes issue to it. Sexuality is a tremendous gift, and we are not to abuse or misuse it.

A lot of us are misguided into believing it’s “freedom” and our “rights”, but it’s an abuse of our freedoms, and it’s serious enough that it could land us, and others involved, in hell.
 
Probably, but there are distasteful things in all aspects of life. There is little one can do except set an example and encourage those around you to live up to it.

Counter question: Do women who watch the Chippendales know what that does to men? 😛
What does it do to them? It lands them, and those involved, in hell for all eternity unless all concerned repent.

We need to move away from ALL pornography, male, female, child, gay/lesbian, all the rest.
 
If I posted what it does to me, my soul, my insides, would any many CARE and try and understand and TRY to strive to fight on women’s behalf, or do they just not care?

Women, how do you cope? How do you get rid of this weird awful twisted sense that shuts off trust and that shuts off the ability to do good as if by some sort of reflex, like some hand of Satan twisted you and you are choking on your own righteous anger? How can I stop it from ripping to shreds my already weak ability to trust men in general? How is this not killing other women. Why aren’t women being more vocal about it? Why are men EXCUSING themselves of it?

Even at that, how can you trust men who are priests? After all “they are human” as the excuse is heard when you hear of a scandal of some sort. I never understood that. How are you to confess certain sins without the possibility of being a trigger for them, when you heard from other men that it is for them?
Anne, you truly have my sympathy.

The only thing I can think of to tell you is that it is a result of our culture which happens to be not only obsessed with sex, but sensual across the board.
 
The other thing is that the internet and modern technology has made it easier than ever. Years ago, in order to view such things, you had to either subject yourself to the embarrassment and/or humiliation of going into what was then euphemistically called an “Adult Book Store” in order to view peep shows or look through other types of pornographic material.

Today, all it takes is someone with a weak will and little to no spiritual life, and a few clicks on the mouse. All in the privacy of your own home, and no fear that your next door neighbor will see you going into the Adult Book Store or, worse yet, you don’t run into him watching peep shows himself.

It is also easier than ever today to cheat on a spouse.

Truly, this is the Age of Satan.
 
Obviously, as the “sex without love” revolution from the late 1960s spread, it infiltrated the culture. Mothers and fathers could not believe their own children would not listen to them anymore. Total strangers told them it was OK to live with and have sex with your girlfriend, that sex with anybody was OK and porn was OK. No, it didn’t happen overnight, but certain “creative” people kept insisting they wanted more freedom in their “art.” All we got was a little bad then more bad and further bad. It entered the music scene. So-called Shock Jocks began interviewing prostitutes (falsely called “porn stars”) and making graphic comments of a sexual nature. WHO ALLOWED THIS?

I was sick to my stomach over it. Why were some people trying to so hard to evangelize their 'it’s OK to have sex with anybody! Leave us alone, we’ll do what we want!" ‘alternative lifestyles’? What were they out to gain? Sin IS OK NOW?

Recently, on a TV show I like, the lead character finds out a female character had sex with someone he knows and the two are not married. Her reply: “Two consenting adults.” WHAT A LIE. And I’ve heard it for years. I’ll be watching less TV now.

Peace,
Ed
 
Sorry, Viewer, I’m too hurt right now to laugh. Its a serious topic to me.

I don’t find sexual sin funny at all. I find it the easiest way for Satan to have what he wants.
It’s not funny… at all!! The better question is do people understand what porn does to people? It is so incomplete and flawed to target men alone here… Do men understand what porn does to women? Clearly, no.

Do women understand what porn does to men?
 
Sorry, Viewer, I’m too hurt right now to laugh. Its a serious topic to me.

I don’t find sexual sin funny at all. I find it the easiest way for Satan to have what he wants.
Try the reciprocal side. Women fantasizing. It is a known fact that woman can get the same “high”, or even more, from their fantasys as men do from porn.
And, coupled with masturbation, they are commiting adultry just as much as men with their porn.
Not condoning either, just putting both sides out there.
 
I think that for many men–men who were not raised with an understanding of Catholic teaching regarding sexual sin in particular–have never considered the impact pornography has on women. A married man viewing pornography, for example, may simply consider it as a release, not as a personal affront to his wife. Meanwhile, it IS a personal affront to the wife. It IS adulterous. And wives are often mocked by their peers when we confess our hurt because pornography has become so normalized that many people of both genders simply accept it as a part of life.

It truly is a shame. And it hurts very deeply when it comes into one’s marriage or other relationships.
 
And wives are often mocked by their peers when we confess our hurt because pornography has become so normalized that many people of both genders simply accept it as a part of life.
Most people are desensitized to evil today.
 
gyrene,

I agree with you that a woman fantasizing about sex with a man is also sin and impure. But here is the major difference- a fantasized man is made up and usually its the ONLY one a female is going to have… at least for a while.

Men are looking at REAL women in porn, who are mothers, sisters, aunts, daughters. Many of them too- all at once. How is this man every going to feel satisfied ever by one wife? What about when his daughter starts to blossom… is he going to get desirous over her? Is he going to start to desire to see her naked… after all, he thinks nothing of seeing some other man’s daughter naked.

Don’t say that is ridiculous. Its the truth. If you treat one with degradation, you will treat them all that way.
 
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