Do not know what to do?

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lolashy

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Hello, i have a question concerning my life. I do not know what to do… I am 21 years old and i have
no idea what to do with my life. I am currently staying at home with my parents… and i am just not
happy. I know i should be happy, because i live with my parents and they pay for everything for me.
But its just that i have no life. I stay home all day and just do my chores and thats it. I dont go anywhere.(i haveNo social life) I am not allowed to drive without one of my parents being with me. I live in the middle of nowhere. A very rural area. So, i have tried several jobs, but all there is fast food jobs. I have tried but, cant stand working at these places. I just dont want my life to be like this forever, i want to move out. But, i have no money and no where to go. I cant just leave my parents house, because i have no where to go, so its not that easy. I just dont know what to do… i feel like this is how its gonna be forever…=( please pray for me and give me any advice. thanks!
 
Consider seriously, maturely, without any hesitancy or “buts”: how can you serve God right where you are? How can you get a job, volunteer, spend your time making someone else’s life more pleasant? What can you do in the house to serve your parents? How can you help others?

Bottom line forget yourself…and give yourself in prayer and in action to God…“Lord, today, in this next hour, I desire to serve you, and forget myself…please help me and show me”

Begin again when you fall back into the rut, but begin again with a smile to God,

Start looking for useful ways to serve. With some energy, prayer and use of the intellect and heart that God gave you…you will find ways.

God Bless.
 
I’m sorry to hear things are hard right now!

First I think you should pray about what you want to do with your life. What type of things do you enjoy? Do you like building things such as legos or wood working? If so would building houses be of interest to you? Do you enjoy working outside with animals or growing plants? If so you could look into working in holticultury for the city or county or look for jobs that involve animals like a dog washer. Think long and hard about the things you enjoy doing with your time right now and then look into what types of jobs involve working with your interest. Once you know what you like you’ll need to decide if college is even needed for that job. If so maybe start with community college which is often cheaper than a 4 year university, work part time in the fast food industry with the knowledge that you are only doing it to pay for community college which you’ll graduate from in two years and then you’ll be free from fast food for hopefully ever.

Another option would be to join the military. They provide very good benefits for people and would also help you pay for college if that is what you want to do. You could also consider staying in the military and making a career out of it if you enjoy your time there. They will help you build many useful skills and they will pay you.

Have you considered relgious life? If not perhaps you are more called to a life like that and you should look into the requirements for the priesthood or other religious service positions, like missonary work.

I hope this gives you some positive things to think about! I will pray for you to find your on path quickly!
 
Looks like you don’t have people in your life giving you ideas! Hopefully CAF will brainstorm for you and there will be options for you to consider.

There is always joining the military. You will earn, and eventually get money for college.

You can serve at a mission somewhere. There are always needy people being served by selfless people who could use an able-bodied young person to serve with them. Not sure of any particular ideas, but others could mention some. If you committed a year of serving (I assume bed and board provided), then in the process of working for others vs. sitting home stagnating, its likely your mind would get moving more and generate ideas for direction in your life.
 
I know it’s difficult, but we have ALL had jobs we did not like. I waited tables to make money for college. Was it a job I liked? No. Was it hard work? Yes. Were the other people working in the restaurant the kind of people I would hang out with? No.

I went there, did my job, was nice to the customers, and got paid.

Look at your local community college.

Better yourself.

Only you can make it happen. Stop making excuses and start making a future.
 
Edward_H said:
Consider seriously, maturely, without any hesitancy or “buts”: how can you serve God right where you are? How can you get a job, volunteer, spend your time making someone else’s life more pleasant? What can you do in the house to serve your parents? How can you help others?

Bottom line forget yourself…and give yourself in prayer and in action to God…“Lord, today, in this next hour, I desire to serve you, and forget myself…please help me and show me”

Begin again when you fall back into the rut, but begin again with a smile to God,

Start looking for useful ways to serve. With some energy, prayer and use of the intellect and heart that God gave you…you will find ways.

God Bless.
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YES. This, this is excellent advice. :clapping:

OP, if you begin now to serve God even in your most humble and dire of situations, you will undoubtedly find God’s call.
 
lolashy said:
no… theres no money…
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There’s a LOT of money, there are scholarships and grants and even student loans (although I don’t recommend those if any other money is available). You are 3 years out of high school, and you need to get a job and start working to save some money so you can move out of your parents’ house. There is nothing wrong with working at a fast-food restaurant. Any work is honorable work. And once you start working, you may surprise yourself and advance up the chain. Or, you could hate it and find it so distasteful that you will do anything to go to college so you don’t have to work there the rest of your life. Either way, it works to help you go and make your own future.

I’m sorry that your high school counselor didn’t give you some better advice. He/she should have pointed you toward school funding, the military, SOMETHING. Well, now it’s up to you, yourself, and you. Stop feeling sorry for yourself and get up and DO something to move into the future.

🙂
 
lolashy said:
Hello, i have a question concerning my life. I do not know what to do… I am 21 years old and i have
no idea what to do with my life. I am currently staying at home with my parents… and i am just not
happy. I know i should be happy, because i live with my parents and they pay for everything for me.
But its just that i have no life. I stay home all day and just do my chores and thats it. I dont go anywhere.(i haveNo social life) I am not allowed to drive without one of my parents being with me. I live in the middle of nowhere. A very rural area. So, i have tried several jobs, but all there is fast food jobs. I have tried but, cant stand working at these places. I just dont want my life to be like this forever, i want to move out. But, i have no money and no where to go. I cant just leave my parents house, because i have no where to go, so its not that easy. I just dont know what to do… i feel like this is how its gonna be forever…=( please pray for me and give me any advice. thanks!
Click to expand...
I’m surprised nobody has picked up on this already but you say you are not allowed to drive without one of your parents being with you. This to me actually sounds disturbing as you are 21 years old.

To say the least, your parents are not exactly encouraging you to be independent.

I don’t know what your situation is, but it sounds like you could have suffocating parents.

If you are an only child or the last child, then many parents would not be pleased at the prospect of that child leaving as the parents would suffer from empty nest syndrome.

My advise to you would be get some money together by hook or by crook and get the heck out of there. Move to the city where there are more jobs.

I know moving out can seem like a very difficult and perhaps daunting prospect but I did it aged 18 with little money and no job so I am sure you could do it too. Once you’ve done it you’ll never look back.
 
I don’t know if you are male or female but first thing is to look into the community college and see if there’s anything you’d be interested in. Talk to the counselor about the costs and what is available to you.

Consider a trade also. Not everyone is cut out for college. People make very good livings doing plumbing or hairdressing. These are skills you’ll have the rest of your life.

Get your driver’s license. You are an adult. What are your parents afraid about? If something happened to one of them, you should be capable of driving the injured party to the hospital.

Talk to your priest. If you qualify, he might know of a good Catholic college or a job.

Look into the military. Many people have had chosen the military as a way out of a desperate situation. Check into it.
 
Cerne said:
I’m surprised nobody has picked up on this already but you say you are not allowed to drive without one of your parents being with you. This to me actually sounds disturbing as you are 21 years old.

To say the least, your parents are not exactly encouraging you to be independent.

I don’t know what your situation is, but it sounds like you could have suffocating parents.
.
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I agree, although, its their car, I imagine, and maybe they are afraid to let it go. Not saying thats right, but its not something the OP has control over.
 
Cerne said:
I’m surprised nobody has picked up on this already but you say you are not allowed to drive without one of your parents being with you. This to me actually sounds disturbing as you are 21 years old.

To say the least, your parents are not exactly encouraging you to be independent.

I don’t know what your situation is, but it sounds like you could have suffocating parents.

If you are an only child or the last child, then many parents would not be pleased at the prospect of that child leaving as the parents would suffer from empty nest syndrome.

My advise to you would be get some money together by hook or by crook and get the heck out of there. Move to the city where there are more jobs.

I know moving out can seem like a very difficult and perhaps daunting prospect but I did it aged 18 with little money and no job so I am sure you could do it too. Once you’ve done it you’ll never look back.
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Well there can be reasons for not allowing a teenager to drive…But this person is 21. Unless there is some medical reason why driving is not possible, such as epilepsy, vision problems, or some other medical condition, I’d say it’s time for Mommy and Daddy to start allowing their young adult to drive.
 
Oh_Charlotte said:
I agree, although, its their car, I imagine, and maybe they are afraid to let it go. Not saying thats right, but its not something the OP has control over.
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I also thought the driving thing was odd. I actually wondered whether there was more to the story. Is there some legal reason why a parent needs to drive with her? For example, is it possible there was a prior DWI conviction? Something’s off here.
 
lolashy said:
Hello, i have a question concerning my life. I do not know what to do… I am 21 years old and i have
no idea what to do with my life. I am currently staying at home with my parents… and i am just not
happy. I know i should be happy, because i live with my parents and they pay for everything for me.
But its just that i have no life. I stay home all day and just do my chores and thats it. I dont go anywhere.(i haveNo social life) I am not allowed to drive without one of my parents being with me. I live in the middle of nowhere. A very rural area. So, i have tried several jobs, but all there is fast food jobs. I have tried but, cant stand working at these places. I just dont want my life to be like this forever, i want to move out. But, i have no money and no where to go. I cant just leave my parents house, because i have no where to go, so its not that easy. I just dont know what to do… i feel like this is how its gonna be forever…=( please pray for me and give me any advice. thanks!
Click to expand...
I’m assuming you’re in the US. Go down to the local community college and talk to the financial aid counselor about a Pell Grant. They’ll let you know what to do.
 
I have plenty of problems too! I’m 18, single, alone, lonely, live at home, and unwillingly go to community college because my parents make me. I have no driver’s license. I have had my permit for two years, and my parents trust me enough to have let me take two behind the wheel sessions since April 2010. If I am going to be single for my whole life, I don’t see the point of getting a college education. It is unecessary stress for a single guy living with his parents. I don’t have any real friends to live with, or really any friends for that matter. I wish I could talk to people, especially girls, but that won’t happen due to my shyness. I have never had a girlfriend before, and am not sure if any girl has ever loved me. I don’t want to live very much either, but I can’t go to Hell, so I can’t kill myself. I tried before several times, and they all ended in the hospital or in bed for a while. My parents really don’t understand me, and my siblings usually ignore me. I have a hard time believing Jesus loves me, and I need a miracle to be happy. How do you let a girl know you love her? How do you know she loves me? I have never even been at a single’s function because my parents would make fun of me. I need prayers, so I don’t die alone. I usually spend my time trying to think of any way I could make myself asexual. I am not gay, bisexual, or anything other than straight. I don’t have the energy to continue.
 
lolashy said:
Hello, i have a question concerning my life. I do not know what to do… I am 21 years old and i have
no idea what to do with my life. I am currently staying at home with my parents… and i am just not
happy. I know i should be happy, because i live with my parents and they pay for everything for me.
But its just that i have no life. I stay home all day and just do my chores and thats it. I dont go anywhere.(i haveNo social life) I am not allowed to drive without one of my parents being with me. I live in the middle of nowhere. A very rural area. So, i have tried several jobs, but all there is fast food jobs. I have tried but, cant stand working at these places. I just dont want my life to be like this forever, i want to move out. But, i have no money and no where to go. I cant just leave my parents house, because i have no where to go, so its not that easy. I just dont know what to do… i feel like this is how its gonna be forever…=( please pray for me and give me any advice. thanks!
Click to expand...
You need to think on what you want to do (it has been said that people are most satisfied at jobs where they enjoy doing the work). You need to figure out if it’s realistic. And figure out a way to make it happen.

Do/did your parents offer you guidance whle you were growing up to prepare you for adulthood (mine did not and I had to move to a homeless shelter to learn how to be an adult). If they did, what went amiss? If they didn’t, are they willing and able to do so now?

Sometimes we need to take any job as a start, even a volunteer job to begin building a resume. The older you get without sustained employment the harder it will be for you to get jobs because of ‘gaps’ in your resume.

Do you feel that your parents baby you and like to control you and keep you under their thumb and prevent you from growing up? If so, how are you going to address that?

Do you feel you would benefit from therapy, would they pay?

The longer you wait the harder it is going to get.

God Bless,
Bill
 
Breezy16 said:
I have plenty of problems too! I’m 18, single, alone, lonely, live at home, and unwillingly go to community college because my parents make me. I have no driver’s license. I have had my permit for two years, and my parents trust me enough to have let me take two behind the wheel sessions since April 2010. If I am going to be single for my whole life, I don’t see the point of getting a college education. It is unecessary stress for a single guy living with his parents. I don’t have any real friends to live with, or really any friends for that matter. I wish I could talk to people, especially girls, but that won’t happen due to my shyness. I have never had a girlfriend before, and am not sure if any girl has ever loved me. I don’t want to live very much either, but I can’t go to Hell, so I can’t kill myself. I tried before several times, and they all ended in the hospital or in bed for a while. My parents really don’t understand me, and my siblings usually ignore me. I have a hard time believing Jesus loves me, and I need a miracle to be happy. How do you let a girl know you love her? How do you know she loves me? I have never even been at a single’s function because my parents would make fun of me. I need prayers, so I don’t die alone. I usually spend my time trying to think of any way I could make myself asexual. I am not gay, bisexual, or anything other than straight. I don’t have the energy to continue.
Click to expand...
Everyone reaches a point where they have to chart their own course. I think you’d agree that you sound depressed. There’s Catholic Charities, and Lutheran Aid or maybe your church has something similiar. You are an adult. Make an appointment and go talk to someone about your depression. Do what they suggest.

You go to community college because your parents make you. You need this. Be honest, if you were not made to get out of the house, you’d veg.

99% of the world force themselves to get up and do something that they really don’t want to do because it is what we must do. Your job is to get an education. Focus on something and make make yourself learn it with no excuses. Really commit.

Take a good look at yourself and improve yourself. Get a good haircut, take an interest in how you dress. Eat well, exercise daily, read the paper each day, read a book a week, watch a TV show where you will learn something. Get yourself on a schedule and do it.

Romance comes when you least expect it. We all want love but you have to love yourself first. You have to be able to offer a future partner something.

Socializing is a skill too. You have to go into it with something to offer. Be the person you’d like to meet. It takes time but all of us have gone through the same. We have to find ourselves and at 18 this is a good time to start.
 
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