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Dating101
Guest
And in addition, what other forms of physical expressions of affection are allowed? Thank you in advance.
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EasterJoy
Guest
If your mean “traditional” rather than “orthodox”, I would post this in the Traditional Forum, were I you. You’ll find a much higher fraction of respondents self-identify as traditional Catholics.
By orthodox, realize I mean self-identified orthodox Roman Catholics, with a small “o”, not Orthodox Catholics.
By orthodox, realize I mean self-identified orthodox Roman Catholics, with a small “o”, not Orthodox Catholics.
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thebookofesther
Guest
I wouldn’t marry her. Imagine being with only one person for the rest of ur life and that’s it. There is no beauty in any other scenarios
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aTraditionalist
Guest
What does this even mean? Your saying variety is the spice of life?
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pensmama87
Guest
I agree with this.
There is not a set standard for Catholic behavior on this issue…it all comes down to prudence.
If a person or couple is highly tempted to unchastity by kissing, they should probably refrain before they are married. If they aren’t, then it’s probably fine. It’s not wrong to experience attraction to a future spouse or a person you’re dating - such attraction usually motivates the relationship to start in the first place!Not to mention that “kissing” can mean all kinds of things. A peck on the cheek to say hello, to what sometimes gets called “full frontal snogging.”
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thebookofesther
Guest
Easy Cekada I’m saying if a girl kisses another guy before marriage it’s not as beautiful as if we are the only two people to be with one another in an intimate setting. It only makes sense. We can give each other our all and not think about others in our past when we are together we also avoid the heartbreak that comes when giving yourself to another in intimate ways in relationships and save it all for when we are finally together.
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thebookofesther
Guest
It’s scary more girls and guys don’t think of this. So sad.
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RPRPsych
Guest
I’d say it varies depending on context. A kiss can be quite a harmless gesture in a variety of cultures.
But if you mean “romantic” or “passionate” kissing, I’d say, probably no. It has to do with the much-underappreciated concepts of chastity and modesty.
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Dating101
Guest
OK, let me ask the question another way. How do I find out if she kisses before marriage, without actually trying to kiss her and making a fool of myself?
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BlueEyedLady
Guest
My husband asked me at the end of our first date if he could kiss me. I thought it was charming and sweet, and since I’d never had a man ask before, much less in such a polite way, it set him apart in my mind.
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pensmama87
Guest
I think asking is sweet, also.
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on_the_hill
Guest
Whoa. You mean you are willing to tempt her to see if she will take the bait?
If you’re not and I misunderstand, then I apologize.
But if you’re considering putting her in that situation so you can judge the strength of her prudence…that would be about as dishonorable as a serpent in a garden with an apple tree.
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BlueEyedLady
Guest
I think he’s asking whether or not catholic girls kiss. He doesn’t want to find out that the answer is no the hard and embarrassing way.
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lutheran_farmer
Guest
Ask her.
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on_the_hill
Guest
Well, what if he tried to kiss her and she kissed him back? Does that mean she fails the test?
Anyway, my opinion is that kissing is fine. Hand holding is fine. Hugging is fine. I’ve never heard any Catholic teaching that prohibits basic stuff like this.
Anyway, my opinion is that kissing is fine. Hand holding is fine. Hugging is fine. I’ve never heard any Catholic teaching that prohibits basic stuff like this.
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BlueEyedLady
Guest
I really don’t think he’s testing her at all, and I kind of think that’s an uncharitable assumption. He’s probably just wondering what everyone wonders when a date comes to an end…“Should I kiss him/her?”. Surely you remember the nervousness and uncertainty of that from when you were dating? I know I do. I never knew if the guy would think I was moving too fast, or if he even liked me enough to want to kiss. The OP seems to think that because he is looking to date devout Catholic women that they might not be ok with kissing someone they are just dating, so that complicates the issue for him even more.
I don’t think there is a Catholic prohibition against kissing, but you’ll find people even on this site who didn’t kiss before marriage and view that as something special to save for your spouse.
I don’t think there is a Catholic prohibition against kissing, but you’ll find people even on this site who didn’t kiss before marriage and view that as something special to save for your spouse.
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on_the_hill
Guest
Not heartbroken at all. Matter of fact, I’m probably glad she did. Think of the pressure I’d be under if I was the first and only.
Frankly, I’ve never given it any thought before now.
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Estevao
Guest
Lol, never “ask permission” to kiss a girl like a little boy asking for a cookie before dinner from mommy, that’s a joke.
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BlueEyedLady
Guest
I appreciate a man with manners.
Begging for a kiss? No. But asking “How about a kiss?” or “So, is it ok if I kiss you now?” is respectful and sweet.
Sure, I’ve had men just go for it, and I never minded that approach. But there is something very special and different about a man who has the guts to ask before feeling entitled to your personal space or body. It’s a rarity these days, and many women appreciate it.
However, this is assuming that you do not know the girl well and that your date was the first time you had really spent any time talking or hanging out together. If she’s someone you consider even a casual friend, you’re probably better off going for it.
Begging for a kiss? No. But asking “How about a kiss?” or “So, is it ok if I kiss you now?” is respectful and sweet.
Sure, I’ve had men just go for it, and I never minded that approach. But there is something very special and different about a man who has the guts to ask before feeling entitled to your personal space or body. It’s a rarity these days, and many women appreciate it.
However, this is assuming that you do not know the girl well and that your date was the first time you had really spent any time talking or hanging out together. If she’s someone you consider even a casual friend, you’re probably better off going for it.
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mikecash
Guest
Look for “the look.” Here is the test: when you are dropping her off at her house after a date, watch her actions. If she bolts to unlock the door and get inside, you’ve got your answer. If she instead turns and looks you in the eye without looking away (I’ve always called this “the look,” which my fiancée thinks is funny), then you’ll have your answer that she wants you to kiss her. At this point: reach down and hold her hand, maintain eye contact for a few seconds, and then kiss her.
If you don’t have this specific situation, look for her to give you “the look” some other time. Generally, it occurs at a lull in conversation. That’s the sign.Don’t be shy about it, women don’t like that. If you try to kiss her and she says no, I seriously doubt she will be offended.
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