Do you believe in Soulmates?

[doomguy93]

Definitely a mixture. Some people have soulmates; some people don’t. Some people have soulmates and they’ll never be with them. Some people have soulmates, had a brief fling or marriage, and will never be with them beyond that – or didn’t even manage to get that far. Some people will never be with anybody even though they want to, and it doesn’t mean they’re called to be priests or nuns. It means they’re going to be alone for the rest of their life.

I’ve never seen any evidence that God has a hand in relationships or that you will ever end up with “the one”, otherwise right now I’d be with someone very specific I’m thinking about who hates me and is beyond happy with her new boyfriend and their mixture of previously-born out-of-wedlock kids while calling herself a Catholic, but ask me about the whole thing when I’m on my deathbed. With prayer and devotion and making a bargain with God, perhaps even those kinds of things can be turned around. God is the only source of justice in this world.

But none of that means you can’t believe in soulmates; they do exist. And just because the Church doesn’t teach it doesn’t mean you can’t believe it.

 

[Graceful_Lamb]

I believe that my husband and I are soulmates.

I also have a girl friend and we have a deep spiritual connection (as well as shared faith), and I always say we are kindred spirits.

 

[AdamP88]

I sure don’t.

The idea of “perfect compatibility” is what leads the young into nonending relationship games, and a storm of birth control and abortion, rather than Godly marriages and children.

In generations past, marriages were arranged, even in the Western countries. And somehow despite minimal concern for “compatibility”, people stayed together, raised children, and many became saints.

ICXC NIKA

THIS!!

 

[Irishmom2]

In generations past, marriages were arranged, even in the Western countries. And somehow despite minimal concern for “compatibility”, people stayed together, raised children, and many became saints.

ICXC NIKA

Exactly, because as they taught us in our Engaged Encounter marriage prep classes: **Love is a decision. **A decision we make to love not only our spouses, but our children too, even on days when they really get on our nerves!

 

[mommy_k]

Actually, I changed my mind. This place not only sells them, but appears to have a great selection.

https://s3-media3.fl.yelpcdn.com/bphoto/gN_I7itJOtbSDkoBIR4KWw/ls.jpg

Who wouldn’t spend a lifetime with these bad boys?

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-IC7eXlvxu...Rpv0/s1600/2363+Solemate+Crayola+in+Black.jpg

At least it’s not an ugg.

 

[Hoosier_Daddy]

When someone uses the term soulmate in conversation I know that what will follow will be the most illogical false understanding of marriage I’ve ever heard…

 

[Lea101]

Not really…

There’s always going to be someone better than your spouse.

Your soulmate is your spouse, basically.

 

[Irishmom2]

There’s always going to be someone better than your spouse.

What do you mean by this?

 

[Elena321]

Actually, I changed my mind. This place not only sells them, but appears to have a great selection.

https://s3-media3.fl.yelpcdn.com/bphoto/gN_I7itJOtbSDkoBIR4KWw/ls.jpg

Who wouldn’t spend a lifetime with these bad boys?

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-IC7eXlvxu...Rpv0/s1600/2363+Solemate+Crayola+in+Black.jpg

Lol.

 

[AdamP88]

Not really…

**There’s always going to be someone better than your spouse.
**
Your soulmate is your spouse, basically.

Nope nope nope nope and nope.

Nobody is better than my spouse!

 

[AdamP88]

Exactly, because as they taught us in our Engaged Encounter marriage prep classes: **Love is a decision. **A decision we make to love not only our spouses, but our children too, even on days when they really get on our nerves!

Yes. Exactly.

 

[Exiled_Child]

Happens with some critters that mate for life. I kept peacocks/peahens a while and when the partner dies the other pines away and nothing will save them

And so many humans die soon after their spouses,

The same thing is true with geese. Which means that when some hunter blasts a goose out of the sky, it’s mate will spend the rest of his or her life flying over the Earth in a state of perpetual mourning and extreme loneliness.

As far as the subject of the thread goes, I identify very strongly with that poster hanging on Fox Mulder’s office wall: I want to believe.

 

[Melissa]

Like many others in this thread, I do not believe in the idea of a soulmate being “out there” waiting to be discovered (or that one would have “settled” if marrying someone else).

I do believe that couples can become soulmates through commitment to each other over the course of years of marriage.

 

[Lea101]

Nope nope nope nope and nope.

Nobody is better than my spouse!

 

[AdamP88]

Nope nope nope nope and nope.

Nobody is better than my spouse!

Seriously though…I do think marriage (and any vocation for that matter) demands a certain single mindedness and maturity. You’re not always going to get on 100% with whoever you marry. You need to be able to show them true love…i.e. Love as a decision and not as mushy feelings that come and go.

If a married person is thinking with a “the grass is greener” mentality then that is a concern and probably a sign of immaturity.

 

[Lea101]

Seriously though…I do think marriage (and any vocation for that matter) demands a certain single mindedness and maturity. You’re not always going to get on 100% with whoever you marry. You need to be able to show them true love…i.e. Love as a decision and not as mushy feelings that come and go.

If a married person is thinking with a "the grass is greener" mentality then that is a concern and probably a sign of immaturity.

That’s not what I was trying to say, but I do agree with you.

A lot of young people don’t realize that there are rough patches during a marriage. There’ll be times where you don’t feel the attraction, times where your spouse annoys you, and so on.

Good to have standards, but when they have ridiculously high standards they got from a romance novel, I worry a little. Nobody is perfect, and the way you treat your spouse is different than the way you treat your girlfriend/boyfriend (eg I can dump my boyfriend because he disrespected me, but to divorce my husband instead of trying to work it out is crazy). I just wish young people figure this out soon.

There’s going to be someone prettier, smarter, richer, funnier etc than your spouse, and one should not expect their spouse to be perfect and then freak out and act like it’s not meant to be when they find out he/she isn’t. It isn’t really the ‘grass is greener’ mindset imo

A priest once said in a homily here: marriages last not because it’s ‘meant to be’, but because they are willing to work at it

 

[pensmama87]

One thing I have thought is that my husband and I became soulmates *after *we were married.

Sometimes I think when we hastily dismiss the idea of soulmates we can be too dismissive of romance and emotion, and make it sound like just anyone will do, which seems to me to go too far in the opposite direction. I do think my husband and I were meant for each other, but what that means to me is that I cooperated with God’s will. It’s possible I could have grown spiritually by marrying someone else, or even not marrying at all, but what’s the point in speculating it now since I am where I am?

 

[kptrs]

One thing I have thought is that my husband and I became soulmates *after *we were married.

Sometimes I think when we hastily dismiss the idea of soulmates we can be too dismissive of romance and emotion, and make it sound like just anyone will do, which seems to me to go too far in the opposite direction. **I do think my husband and I were meant for each other, but what that means to me is that I cooperated with God’s will. **It’s possible I could have grown spiritually by marrying someone else, or even not marrying at all, but what’s the point in speculating it now since I am where I am?

This. ^^^

Also, just because you’re meant for each other doesn’t mean you don’t have to put forth the effort required to make a marriage last. God intended for you to be together, but you can’t sit back and relax while He does all the work. There will be hard times you have to get through, and that doesn’t mean you married the “wrong person.”

 

[pensmama87]

This. ^^^

Also, just because you’re meant for each other doesn’t mean you don’t have to put forth the effort required to make a marriage last. God intended for you to be together, but you can’t sit back and relax while He does all the work. There will be hard times you have to get through, and that doesn’t mean you married the “wrong person.”

I had a friend say to me recently that she had considered that spouses are supposed to help each other get to heaven, and it’s tempting to always think that’s through prayer and being holy and sacrificing for each other, when really, what probably helps our spouses get to heaven most is by giving them the opportunity to put up with all our faults.

(Obviously, there are situations where this does not apply! But for most of us ordinary sinners, I think she’s on to something.)

 

[Luvz2travel]

Do you believe that God has made one individual for each person or do you believe that any potential number of people could be a suitable “match” (for a husband or a wife)?

What if you marry someone that isn’t quite compatible enough -can this ever be a happy marriage or will you feel you “settled” for them and always think “the grass could be greener elsewhere” if that makes sense?

Soul Mates is a myth woven by the media and Hollywood to get you to believe we all have a perfect match. Maybe some of us do or some of us have more better fits then others but I don’t believe in soul mates per say and don’t think it’s a Christian idea but a pagan one. It’s leads people to expect too much out of a future partner and may be why there are so many singles in this day and age.