Do you find it hard to experience God's love?

[Pat_Albertson]

What I need is a job, so that I don’t become homeless and lose the only thing I care about in this life, my beautiful beautiful cat.

Right now I have a job, but I can’t do it well enough, so I’m pretty sure I’m going to lose it in less than a month. I can scarcely pay my rent as it is, and I’m also deeply in debt.

I so wish I had never been born.

No way out.

 

[7_Sorrows]

What I need is a job, so that I don’t become homeless and lose the only thing I care about in this life, my beautiful beautiful cat.

Right now I have a job, but I can’t do it well enough, so I’m pretty sure I’m going to lose it in less than a month. I can scarcely pay my rent as it is, and I’m also deeply in debt.

I so wish I had never been born.

No way out.

Your cat is glad you were born. Praying that you will not lose your job and that your life will get better.

 

[In_His_Grace]

What I need is a job, so that I don’t become homeless and lose the only thing I care about in this life, my beautiful beautiful cat.

Right now I have a job, but I can’t do it well enough, so I’m pretty sure I’m going to lose it in less than a month. I can scarcely pay my rent as it is, and I’m also deeply in debt.

I so wish I had never been born.

No way out.

Hang in there Pat. I understand where you’re at. I’m 60 years old and have struggled with mental illness for a very long time. You are in a very dark place and in this dark place your thoughts become twisted and distorted, not a reflection of reality or who you really are, what God desires for you. He loves you. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

*O Christ Jesus
When all is darkness
And we feel our weakness and helplessness,
Give us the sense of Your Presence,
Your Love and Your Strength.
Help us to have perfect trust
In Your protecting love
And strengthening power,
So that nothing may frighten or worry us,
For, living close to You,
We shall see Your Hand,
Your Purpose, Your Will through all things.

Amen. (St Ignatius of Loyola)

23 The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.

2 He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters.

3 He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name’s sake.

4 Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.

5 Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over.

6 Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the Lord for ever. (Psalm 23)*

In His Grace

 

[7_Sorrows]

Hang in there Pat. I understand where you’re at. I’m 60 years old and have struggled with mental illness for a very long time. You are in a very dark place and in this dark place your thoughts become twisted and distorted, not a reflection of reality or who you really are, what God desires for you. He loves you. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

*O Christ Jesus
When all is darkness
And we feel our weakness and helplessness,
Give us the sense of Your Presence,
Your Love and Your Strength.
Help us to have perfect trust
In Your protecting love
And strengthening power,
So that nothing may frighten or worry us,
For, living close to You,
We shall see Your Hand,
Your Purpose, Your Will through all things.

Amen. (St Ignatius of Loyola)

23 The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.

2 He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters.

3 He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name’s sake.

4 Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.

5 Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over.

6 Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the Lord for ever. (Psalm 23)*

In His Grace

Your first paragraph has much truth to it. As we age we seem to focus more on our failures and it is hard to see the good we have done. I am in my 60’s as well.
I am praying hard for the OP.

 

[Pat_Albertson]

Hanging in there is not my problem. I need to go faster, several minutes faster with every call I take. I struggle every day to go faster and faster but I am going as fast as I can. I am statistically stuck.

I am going to get fired. They have told me as much. They have given me several verbal warnings to go faster. I will get a final written warning and then be fired, they’ve even put it in writing and had me sign it.

Getting help requires time, and that sort of time is a long languorous luxury I no longer have. I have a week or two left and then everything will collapse like a house of cards.

 

[7_Sorrows]

Hanging in there is not my problem. I need to go faster, several minutes faster with every call I take. I struggle every day to go faster and faster but I am going as fast as I can. I am statistically stuck.

I am going to get fired. They have told me as much. They have given me several verbal warnings to go faster. I will get a final written warning and then be fired, they’ve even put it in writing and had me sign it.

Getting help requires time, and that sort of time is a long languorous luxury I no longer have. I have a week or two left and then everything will collapse like a house of cards.

There is not another position you could be moved to?
Is this a retail job?
I will be praying for you.

 

[Pat_Albertson]

There is not another position you could be moved to?
Is this a retail job?
I will be praying for you.

No, it’s a call center. I’m on the lowest rung. Everything else is higher, and I haven’t proven myself at this level. I’m just too old and slow.

 

[7_Sorrows]

No, it’s a call center. I’m on the lowest rung. Everything else is higher, and I haven’t proven myself at this level. I’m just too old and slow.

oh I hear that is pretty high pressure work! have you been looking for any jobs anywhere else? praying for you.

 

[Pat_Albertson]

oh I hear that is pretty high pressure work! have you been looking for any jobs anywhere else? praying for you.

Thank you for your prayers. Thanks to everybody else too.

 

[Nita]

Sure, but feelings also affect us on a daily basis. At some level they affect the decisions we make and our approach to life.

Yes, our feelings affect us - they affect our emotions, but they should not affect the decisions we make. **Decisions are to be made according to what we know is right and what is wrong - the truths we have learned from Scripture and Church teaching. **That is what it means to “follow one’s cnscience”, and it is the challenge everyone must deal with. Sometimes feelings make it easier to do what is right/good, and sometimes they make it more difficult to choose the good.

Doing right when that’s what our feelings/emotions want us to do is easy. The emotional pleasure it gives us is, in a sense, our reward which we receive already here on earth.
By contrast, when we override negative feelings in order to do what is right, we merit far more eternal rewards.
In addition it is how we strengthen our will. Without such challenges, our will and our faith stay weak/undeveloped.
[Just like our physical bodies need physical challenges/exercise to develop & strengthen, so our spiritual soul needs spiritual challenges/exercise if it’s to develop & strengthen.]
The fact that you are no longer experiencing abundant consolations (spiritual highs/good feelings) is very likely a sign that it’s time to grow and progress in your faith.

I recall reading a vision St. Padre Pio had of 3 people who were praying. Our Lord entered, came to the first person and caressed him, speaking tenderly to him. Then he turned and continued walking, going right past the 2nd person without even looking at him. He then continued to the 3rd person and slapped him on the face. Padre Pio said to Our Lord that the first person must have been someone strong in their faith to receive such signs of affection from Him, and the other 2, the last person especially, sinners with very little and no faith. Jesus told him that in fact, it was just the opposite. The 1st person was still very weak in faith and needed consolations so he would not lapse, whereas the faith of the other 2 was stronger and could withstand trials as they shared in Our Lord’s suffering - to varying degrees according to the strength of their faith.

 

[In_His_Grace]

Your first paragraph has much truth to it. As we age we seem to focus more on our failures and it is hard to see the good we have done. I am in my 60’s as well.
I am praying hard for the OP.

I agree. This is probably true for many people and not just older people. Throw severe depression into the mix and…

Let’s continue praying.

In His Grace

 

[Lormar]

Thank you for your prayers. Thanks to everybody else too.

I haven’t forgotten you, Pat, and am praying as hard as I can for you.

 

[Bataar]

It’s definitely had for me. It feels as though at best, God just ignores me and refuses to help no matter how I ask and at worse, that he gets a good laugh at causing bad things to happen right after teasing me that things might make a turn for the better.

 

[In_His_Grace]

I haven’t forgotten you, Pat, and am praying as hard as I can for you.

amen! I’m with you in praying for Pat.

In His Grace

 

[Pat_Albertson]

No, it’s a call center. I’m on the lowest rung. Everything else is higher, and I haven’t proven myself at this level. I’m just too old and slow.

Yup, too old and too slow. I tried really really hard but I just got fired.

Guess I’ll have to prepare to surrender my beautiful wonderful cat to the local humane society and get my affairs in order. She’s the only thing I have to live for but I can’t take her into a state homelessness.

I will try to get another job but I already know I’m not going to make it before financial disaster strikes. I’m really old, tired, stupid, and I’m terribly depressed and anxious.

As always, everything just gets worse and worse, forever and ever, amen.

Please pray for me.

 

[7_Sorrows]

praying for you to see everything from a different perspective and find hope and a way to keep your cat and get a new job.

 

[philipl]

When I was in college, I would go to the student center and there a lot of the ministries focused on God’s love and healing power. There were retreats and stuff, and they would talk about how being part of the body of Christ meant we were adopted children of God and there was a focus on grace and it really lent to this feeling that God was patient with us in our failings and that as we live lives of repentance He would help us along and smile on us as we grow in holiness.

Maybe it’s a different crowd that I’m with now (after college) but these days it always feels like I am being held over a fire. I don’t know if it is because of the parish that I have been attending, literature that I have been reading or just a change in attitude, but living a life of repentance is not as joyful as it used to be for me. I no longer have this feeling like Jesus is helping me along, but I feel that God is always angry with me and every time I do sin, I feel hopelessly far from God, almost to the point of despair. Even after I go to confession I no longer experience joy or relief, only shame for what I have confessed.

I am wondering if anyone else feels this way.

Not me.

 

[Graceful_Lamb]

Yup, too old and too slow. I tried really really hard but I just got fired.

Guess I’ll have to prepare to surrender my beautiful wonderful cat to the local humane society and get my affairs in order. She’s the only thing I have to live for but I can’t take her into a state homelessness.

I will try to get another job but I already know I’m not going to make it before financial disaster strikes. I’m really old, tired, stupid, and I’m terribly depressed and anxious.

As always, everything just gets worse and worse, forever and ever, amen.

Please pray for me.

I am sorry that you are going through rough times. I will pray for you.

 

[JosieN]

When I was in college, I would go to the student center and there a lot of the ministries focused on God’s love and healing power. There were retreats and stuff, and they would talk about how being part of the body of Christ meant we were adopted children of God and there was a focus on grace and it really lent to this feeling that God was patient with us in our failings and that as we live lives of repentance He would help us along and smile on us as we grow in holiness.

Maybe it’s a different crowd that I’m with now (after college) but these days it always feels like I am being held over a fire. I don’t know if it is because of the parish that I have been attending, literature that I have been reading or just a change in attitude, but living a life of repentance is not as joyful as it used to be for me. I no longer have this feeling like Jesus is helping me along, but I feel that God is always angry with me and every time I do sin, I feel hopelessly far from God, almost to the point of despair. Even after I go to confession I no longer experience joy or relief, only shame for what I have confessed.

I am wondering if anyone else feels this way.

I think we all feel that way at times. Have you tried fasting? I find fasting one day a week with extra prayers on that day helps me to grow spiritually. You can have bread and water on that day or one very small meal and water during the day (if bread and water is too difficult). For me there is always a feeling of peace and joy after a day of fasting. I think God is pleased with the small sacrifices we make for Him.

 

[JosieN]

Yup, too old and too slow. I tried really really hard but I just got fired.

Guess I’ll have to prepare to surrender my beautiful wonderful cat to the local humane society and get my affairs in order. She’s the only thing I have to live for but I can’t take her into a state homelessness.

I will try to get another job but I already know I’m not going to make it before financial disaster strikes. I’m really old, tired, stupid, and I’m terribly depressed and anxious.

As always, everything just gets worse and worse, forever and ever, amen.

Please pray for me.

I am sad for you and your situation. I hope things get better soon. Here is a prayer that works for me when I am going through a rough time. I will pray for you.

Dear Lord,

You are our refuge in good and in bad times. In your infinite mercy, bring peace and comfort to those of us who face days sometimes filled with pain and depression. Help us to realize that through you there is joy and the promise of lasting peace. Help us through the rough times. Walk before and beside us so that we may walk in your footsteps and reach out to you in our journey on this earth. Help us to focus on our blessings rather than our misfortunes, dear Lord. Thank you for hearing and answering our prayers. Amen