Do you find this funny? I didn't!

[Mirror_Mirror]

So, I’m talking with my sister last night. She has a terrible day at work a few nights ago, and to make a long story short…she basically forgot about a client lunch that she had. The client was angry, and blasted her and sent emails up to her boss…even an ex boss of hers, (who is a friend of this client) Not sure why he got the email, but whatever. So, the ex boss calls my sister and tells her…don’t worry, he is just a weird guy…he’ll get over it. My sister says…‘what can I do to make this better?’ And get this…this ex boss of hers says…‘You can have wild and passionate sex with me.’ In a totally joking voice, my sister says…My sister laughed hysterically telling me this, and told me that she laughed back at him.

He then further ‘joked…’ why are you laughing? And he laughed again…

I said*…isn’t he married?* She says yes–he’s on his fourth wife now. I said…so, is this what people in your work think is funny? Married men joking that they want to sleep with other women?

She said…it was a JOKE, sharon. I said…would you laugh if my husband said it to you?

SILENCE on the other end of the phone.

She said…you’re right. But, what should I have said?

I said…there is a reason why that man CHOSE YOU to say that to. Be very careful to not flirt at work…or with married men. It’s not a joke, it’s not funny.

Am I being a prude…AGAIN? LOL

:nope:

I would be mortified if my husband said anything like this to anyone but me. I was outraged hearing this. I would have been like*…dude, you’re married. No wonder you’re on wife number 4. *MAJOR EYE ROLL…THERE IS NO SMILEY THAT CAN SHOW THE EYE ROLL THAT I HAD WHEN MY SISTER WAS TELLING ME THIS!

AM I WRONG???

:nope:

Men on here–what do you think, too? Please chime in.

I think that you do not need to look far for the answer to your question, (as you mentioned) this guy is on his 4th wife. How disrespectful to your sister, his wife and to himself. Does this guy have no self respect? No dignity? It is so sad that sex rules so much in this world. The nerve of this guy to talk to your sister this way. And the nerve of her to think that it is funny. Sad to say that she may have given it even a slight consideration.

The power that sex has over so many is so sad. It is one of the toughest battles to fight in this world. But for this guy to think that it is even close to appropriate to say this is so far in left field, I cannot even see it. Your sister should officailly cut ties with him and move on with her life. What is this relationship doing for her? How is it benefiting her? (you do not have to answer those questions)

As Matthew Kelly says, there are primary relationships and secondary relationships. Secondary serve a time and a purpose, both of which, in this situation, have expired. Time to move on.

My thoughts.

 

[whatevergirl]

Ok - here is my desk chair psychologist two pennies from someone who has - been there done that.

This sounds VERY much to me as if she is very insecure and is enjoying the attention and being flattered. Of course it’s vulgar to have a man (married or not) say something like that to you - but you have to admit, there is a tiny bit of flattery there to think that he would be interested and finds you attractive enough to even joke with you about it. He’s not going to make the same comment to someone who is repulsive to him.

She needs to work on her self esteem, and realize that she really doesn’t need to be flattered all the time to feel like a beautiful woman. Her beauty needs to be seen from within, this will give her strength to feel as if she does not have to pursue this type of flattery from men.

Coming out of a divorce, her age, and the fact that she is very attractive, I can see why she would feel this way. She is at a vulnerable point in her life, getting close to possibly loosing some of her looks soon, and being single, and perhaps a bit rejected (not knowing the circumstances, this is a guess).

I would focus less on telling her about sending out vibes, and more on helping her to build up her own self image so she doesn’t have to go looking for affirmation elsewhere, which may cause her problems.

~Liza

:bowdown2: if you are not alrady a shrink…seriously consider it, my friend. You are quite good. ha! Seriously…I agree 110%!!! She freely admits that she has issues with esteem…she is very age phobic, even though she looks terrific…she is a runner, and eats healthy…she dresses very classy…very beautiful woman inside and out, but she still needs a man to tell her so. I have told her repeatedly to seek counseling after she divorced, but for some reason…she just keeps endlessly dating. She told me the other night…i’m dating, and just having fun. It’s like…get a hobby!! lol I just sit and listen most of the time, but we have had conversations about her vibes showing desperation, and neediness. And don’t discount that she shared way too much of her dating fiasco with that married man last year. I’m sure married men who know her story, are like…hmmm…she did it once… KWIM?

You are right on the mark. Until she gets her self esteem in order, she will continued to be flattered by pigs…I’m sorry, but the guy is a pig, in my eyes. Married 4 times, and still on the prowl? I told her…you can say he’s a nice guy all you want…maybe you should interview his past 3 wives to see if they thought he was so nice.

I don’t mean to sound crass, but at 53 years old, she sometimes acts like a giddy teenage girl going to the prom. She told me also…I tell these men…if you think I’m pretty, you should see my sister. I’m like…why are you telling married men this? or any men this about me? She will say…‘it’s just something I say.’ (I don’t need outside male approval…as long as my dh thinks I’m sexy, that’s all that matters TO ME)

She really has come very far since her divorce, but the need for male approval is still very much present.

I love her so. It saddens me to see her allow herself to be degraded, and that she doesn’t recognize her beauty.

 

[teme]

OK - I’m a married man.

Let me get this story straight - your sister missed a lunch with a client, the client is mad, and your sister went to an ex-boss to find out what she should do to make it right? If she’s 54, she should know how to handle the situation without asking someone who’s not even responsible for the account. Sounds like she needs to learn to seek someone else for mentorship.

As to his comments, if someone on my staff said that to anyone, joking or serious, he’d be filing for unemployment before HR even knew he had left the building… I’d explain to HR why he was fired, and he could tell his wife why he came home early.

This type of comment is not funny, cute, or professional. If he says anything like that to her again, she should tell him she’d love to have a hot fling with him, and they can use the HR manager’s office.

 

[whatevergirl]

OK - I’m a married man.

Let me get this story straight - your sister missed a lunch with a client, the client is mad, and your sister went to an ex-boss to find out what she should do to make it right? If she’s 54, she should know how to handle the situation without asking someone who’s not even responsible for the account. Sounds like she needs to learn to seek someone else for mentorship.

I think they are friends…she is in the hospitality business…and apparently…it’s one big happy family there. Supposedly.It goes to show that most men can’t be friends with a woman they find attractive.

As to his comments, if someone on my staff said that to anyone, joking or serious, he’d be filing for unemployment before HR even knew he had left the building… I’d explain to HR why he was fired, and he could tell his wife why he came home early.

He is her ex boss, and the client’s friend, see. That is why she was even discussing any of this with him…Because the irate client called the ex boss, and everyone else above my sister to complain about her rescheduling. He also sounds like he wanted to court my sister, which is why he was enraged she canceled. My sister is attractive–she’s not the only attractive woman in Florida, lol. That being said…the vibes she is sending is telling so many different men that she is easy…and I think that is something men can pick up on quite quickly. Married or not. I understand your point–just giving you more detail as to how the whole thing unfolded.

This type of comment is not funny, cute, or professional. If he says anything like that to her again, she should tell him she’d love to have a hot fling with him, and they can use the HR manager’s office.

hee hee…I love it!

 

[Cagrl]

IMHO it was not funny. I would be so hurt if I found out my dh was talking to a coworker like that!! That is not acceptable! You don’t joke like that. You are not overreacting. I am glad that you pointed it out to your sis because now she will think about going along with things like this. I think you did the right thing by tell her because you opened up her eyes to the situation.

 

[whatevergirl]

I’m going way back to something b__justb had written:

I think b’s description of pre-Christian days coincides with the commonality theme.

for Chritians, the commonality is Christ and we shouldn’t ever give or receive this kind of talk, whether it be overt like OP’s description, or innuendo.

This spring, something like this happened to me at an AA meeting. Now people, i’m 45 years old and i have ten kids. i haven’t let myself fall apart completely, but i’m looking a little like yesterday’s news.

but the fellow in question is a misogynist. i’ve heard him make other comments to women. he either wants a prospective date or to humiliate the woman he’s talking to.

one AA meeting, i kept heading outside before the meeting looking for a gal i was sponsoring. she had never attended that meeting before so i went out a couple times looking for her.

Creepo, smoking a cigarette: you’re coming out here checking me out, aintcha?"

Me: what. you’re kidding, right.

Creepo: nah. you’re coming out here, checking me out. you’re in a world of want, aintcha. you got a plan for me dontcha.

Me: ** Good lord, Creepo** (not his real name and not the name i used). over my dead, dismembered, dog-eaten body.

Creepo riffed on the my body theme. I can’t print it here.

Me: (walking right into his cloud of cigarette smoke and getting in his face but quietly, “**Listen you little pipsqueak. you might get away with talking like that to some other gals, but I will slash. your. tires.” **

i really sent a shock wave because the little twerp was apologetic.

but by the end of the meeting, he’d recovered his chutzspah. he was outside smoking cigarettes with some other guys. when i walked to my car he called out not to anyone in particular, "yep. some people think they’re too good to play around. some people don’t know how to fellowship and have a good time."

i turned around and walked right up to his face and said again quietly, "if you make it hard or uncomfortable for me to go to AA meetings, i think my husband will have something to say to you. something in the language of his size thirteen boot and your puny A…$…$…"

when i told my husband he laughed and said, “honey i’ll defend you to the ends of the earth. but you’re pretty good at not needing it.”

i’ve seen Creepo two or three times since then. he doesn’t talk to me.

shoot, I meant to reply to this last night! This is FANTASTIC! LOL

You are too funny…I am still laughing over the word…‘creepo.’

 

[newbetx]

Me: (walking right into his cloud of cigarette smoke and getting in his face but quietly, “**Listen you little pipsqueak. you might get away with talking like that to some other gals, but I will slash. your. tires.” **

ii turned around and walked right up to his face and said again quietly, "if you make it hard or uncomfortable for me to go to AA meetings, i think my husband will have something to say to you. something in the language of his size thirteen boot and your puny A…$…$…"

You got my attention!
http://bestsmileys.com/paranoid/3.gif

 

[lizaanne]

:bowdown2: if you are not alrady a shrink…seriously consider it, my friend. You are quite good. ha! Seriously…I agree 110%!!!

hehehe Thanks! Well, that was my field of study until I totally freaked out over psychological stastics.

Anway - I hope you can help her with this, it is very difficult to do alone. She has to love herself before she can love anyone else, and dating for ego boosts is no way to go through life.

I’ll certainly keep her in my prayers.

~Liza

 

[estesbob]

So, I’m talking with my sister last night. She has a terrible day at work a few nights ago, and to make a long story short…she basically forgot about a client lunch that she had. The client was angry, and blasted her and sent emails up to her boss…even an ex boss of hers, (who is a friend of this client) Not sure why he got the email, but whatever. So, the ex boss calls my sister and tells her…don’t worry, he is just a weird guy…he’ll get over it. My sister says…‘what can I do to make this better?’ And get this…this ex boss of hers says…‘You can have wild and passionate sex with me.’ In a totally joking voice, my sister says…My sister laughed hysterically telling me this, and told me that she laughed back at him.

He then further ‘joked…’ why are you laughing? And he laughed again…

I said*…isn’t he married?* She says yes–he’s on his fourth wife now. I said…so, is this what people in your work think is funny? Married men joking that they want to sleep with other women?

She said…it was a JOKE, sharon. I said…would you laugh if my husband said it to you?

SILENCE on the other end of the phone.

She said…you’re right. But, what should I have said?

I said…there is a reason why that man CHOSE YOU to say that to. Be very careful to not flirt at work…or with married men. It’s not a joke, it’s not funny.

Am I being a prude…AGAIN? LOL

I would be mortified if my husband said anything like this to anyone but me. I was outraged hearing this. I would have been like*…dude, you’re married. No wonder you’re on wife number 4. *MAJOR EYE ROLL…THERE IS NO SMILEY THAT CAN SHOW THE EYE ROLL THAT I HAD WHEN MY SISTER WAS TELLING ME THIS!

AM I WRONG???

Men on here–what do you think, too? Please chime in.

Occasionally I have clients you make those kind of “cute” remarks to my Employees. They quickly become ex-clients and when they protest they were just kidding I tell them they can kid with their new CPA.

There is no place for this kind of banter in any kind of business( or for that back personal) environment. .

 

[whatevergirl]

Occasionally I have clients you make those kind of “cute” remarks to my Employees. They quickly become ex-clients and when they protest they were just kidding I tell them they can kid with their new CPA.

There is no place for this kind of banter in any kind of business( or for that back personal) environment. .

LOL! You’re a CPA? I totally pegged you for a bean counter, bob. (in a good way, no worries) hahahaha

I agree with you–it was an uncalled for comment, but my sister could/should have reacted better, I’m afraid. The likliehood of these comments continuing is great, considering she laughed.

Liz–thank you for your prayers…

 

[estesbob]

LOL! You’re a CPA? I totally pegged you for a bean counter, bob. (in a good way, no worries) hahahaha

I agree with you–it was an uncalled for comment, but my sister could/should have reacted better, I’m afraid. The likliehood of these comments continuing is great, considering she laughed.

Liz–thank you for your prayers…

Yes I am indeed a bean counter. CPA bean counters have more fun than regular bean counters. If you ask a regular bean counter what two plus two is they quickly say “four.” If you ask a CPA bean counter what two plus two is is we reply "what do you need it to be "?

 

[whatevergirl]

Yes I am indeed a bean counter. CPA bean counters have more fun than regular bean counters. If you ask a regular bean counter what two plus two is they quickly say “four.” If you ask a CPA bean counter what two plus two is is we reply "what do you need it to be "?

LOL! Good one.

I deal with bean counters as a way of life, only I market to CPA’s and CFO’s…all day long. My personality is so different…they must think I’m nuts half the time. lol

 

[estesbob]

LOL! Good one.

I deal with bean counters as a way of life, only I market to CPA’s and CFO’s…all day long. My personality is so different…they must think I’m nuts half the time. lol

I am often accused of not acting like a CPA!

 

[HOPEFUL_IN_UK]

I think you’re right, but I can see why she’d want to believe it’s a joke.

 

[HouseArrest]

Occasionally I have clients you make those kind of “cute” remarks to my Employees. They quickly become ex-clients and when they protest they were just kidding I tell them they can kid with their new CPA.

There is no place for this kind of banter in any kind of business( or for that back personal) environment. .

Good for you! Maybe word will spread and others will realize they don’t have to put up with that kind of talk, either.

 

[adelore]

No it wasn’t funny and no you’re not a prude for thinking it wasn’t funny.

1. This man comment to your sister shows a few things.
   (a). He has no “Self-respect” for himself.
   (b) He has no “Respect for his wife or His Marriage”.
   (c) He has no Respect for your sister.
   (d) He is not very proffessional in talking like this at work.

People can “Joke around” about a Lot of things and it’s just having fun and “joking around”.

But what this man said is not something that is funny or is joking in the least. This man (or any man or woman) who jokes like this…is just asking for problems. And truely (even if they don’t admit it) there is an underlying “suggestion” there.