When the Orders stop treating people with depression as if they raped a small child, saying, “Please come back in 5 years,” as if they’re talking to a dog with the mange, it really gets me to thinking if the Orders aren’t just some elitist country club rather than a brotherhood and sisterhood where “mothers and sons” (to use the eremetical language of St. Francis) co-exist together.
Unfortunately, some orders are exactly that, i.e., elitist country clubs.
I live in a small formation community. Of the four priests who live in or have lived in the house over the last year, here is how they break down, psychologically:
Fr. A – takes no prescription medications, but suffers from occasional insomnia, which he sometimes treats with OTC stuff. For the most part he treats the condition with prayer and exercise. He is a truly excellent priest.
Fr. B – takes no medications. He is narcissistic, conniving, ocassionally downright cruel. He is one of the worst priests I’ve ever met.
Fr. C – takes medication for a condition generally considered to be much worse than depression. He is a kind, gentle priest who willingly hears confessions at 5:30 AM if that is the time someone shows up needing Jesus.
Fr. D – takes meds for (undiagnosed) PTSD, (my guess). The meds keep him more or less under control and make him much easier to live with. Nonetheless, he is a pretty mediocre priest, who is best described as a lukewarm pharisee, i.e., he would be a hardcore pharisee, but that would take too much effort.
The point?
Several:
[1] We are all broken. You may considered to be the most wonderful person in your home town, and I may be considered to be the most wonderful person in mine, but that does not mean that we will enjoy living together.
[2] No one ever said that religious life is supposed to be continually fun. Rewarding, yes, it is rewarding, in ways, IMHO, that secular life never can be. But it is not supposed to be Disneyland.
[3] God does not ask that we succeed, only that we try and, when we fail, we apologize. In other words, it does not matter, from His point of view, whether we enjoy living together or not. The important thing is that we keep on trying to be loving toward one another, no matter how much our natures clash.
SUMMARY:
It is possible that better psychological screening would have weeded out Fr. B and Fr. D, but the problem with both of them is not medication, the lack thereof, or the state of their psyches. The problem with both of them is a lack of conversion to Jesus Christ.
On the other hand, Fr. A sometimes hears the Lord speaking directly to him in prayer. I mean speaking, as in with words, in a voice that neither belongs to nor originates within, Fr. A. Tighter psychological screening probably would have eliminated him from the seminary a long time ago – along with St. Padre Pio, St. Francis, and a host of others – and our province would be deprived of its best priest.
Tighter psychological screening would certainly have eliminated Fr. C. from consideration, and then two tormented souls who rely on him for very early morning confession at least once each per week, would have no one to turn to.
The problem with many (most) religious orders (and dioceses, for that matter) today is that they “screen” candidates based on whether they, (or their shrink), thinks that it would be enjoyable to live with a particular person. They all too often fail to ask the questions which really count, such as:
– Do you truly love Jesus Christ?
– Are you ready to work on improving your relationship with the Lord, in the hope of becoming ever more and more like Him, through prayer, mortification, etc?
– Do you accept your sinful nature, and your need for constant, continual conversion?
– Regardless of your psycho-biology, are you willing to try to be loving to those around you, and to apologize, from the heart, when you fail at this most important task?
– Regardless of your physical or psychological condition(s), are you willing to work as hard as you are able both to live the life envisioned by our founder as well as to contribute as much labor, (physical, emotional, intellectual), to the community as your capacities allow?
The Lay Carmelite (T.O.Carm.) statutes state that three years after a Lay Carmelite is permanently professed, he or she may take private vows of chastity (according to his or her state in life) and obedience (to the Rule of St. Albert). However, I am only temporarily professed: my permanent profession is scheduled for (God willing) in 2011. That means that I would have to wait until 2014 to take the private vows. I suspect that if ever (God willing) I become a consecrated virgin, it would be after 2014 as well.