Do you have children, if so how many and how old were you when you had your first?

[atugirl]

Do you wish you could’ve started having children when you were younger? Do you wish you could’ve had more? Any advice/tips for starting a family welcome! Thank you.

 

[holyrood]

I was 20 when my oldest was born. I have 9, and as I divorced their father a couple years ago (I’ll just say here he gave me lots of good reasons), there will very likely be no more.

I never particularly wished for 9, or a big family. My goal was to live my Catholic faith, to step out in faith and trust God and that the Catholic Church, with 2,000 years of great saints and great minds, might know more than I.

Turns out, they did! I’m thrilled with my family. But I would have been happy with fewer, and I’d be happy with more. I think what modern society has lost is the idea of accepting and loving what God gives us in life, instead of trying to control everything with a very specific number of children.

For what it’s worth, I’ve heard plenty of older people say they wish they’d had more children, but virtually none say they wish they’d had fewer.

 

[atugirl]

Excellent advice, thank you. May God bless you and your beautiful family!

I was 20 when my oldest was born. I have 9, and as I divorced their father a couple years ago (I’ll just say here he gave me lots of good reasons), there will very likely be no more.

I never particularly wished for 9, or a big family. My goal was to live my Catholic faith, to step out in faith and trust God and that the Catholic Church, with 2,000 years of great saints and great minds, might know more than I.

Turns out, they did! I’m thrilled with my family. But I would have been happy with fewer, and I’d be happy with more. I think what modern society has lost is the idea of accepting and loving what God gives us in life, instead of trying to control everything with a very specific number of children.

For what it’s worth, I’ve heard plenty of older people say they wish they’d had more children, but virtually none say they wish they’d had fewer.

 

[Rau]

I was 20 when my oldest was born. I have 9, and as I divorced their father a couple years ago (I’ll just say here he gave me lots of good reasons), there will very likely be no more.

I never particularly wished for 9, or a big family. My goal was to live my Catholic faith, to step out in faith and trust God and that the Catholic Church, with 2,000 years of great saints and great minds, might know more than I.

Turns out, they did! I’m thrilled with my family. But I would have been happy with fewer, and I’d be happy with more. I think what modern society has lost is the idea of accepting and loving what God gives us in life, instead of trying to control everything with a very specific number of children.

For what it’s worth, I’ve heard plenty of older people say they wish they’d had more children, but virtually none say they wish they’d had fewer.

Could you expand on the timing? I assume some multiple births in there?

 

[Xantippe]

I’ve been married 15 years and have three children: 11, 8 and 10 months.

My oldest was born when I was 27 and my husband had just gotten his first real job out of grad school. I was 37 when our youngest was born. I’ve enjoyed having kids young (the health side is easier) and old (more money! more experience! more help from older siblings! bigger house!).

The jump from one to two children is very difficult, especially with a toddler and an infant, as toddlers and infants want totally different and incompatible things from life (to run around vs. to suck, snuggle and sleep). It’s easy to feel like when you had one child, you had everything figured out and were Super Mom, but when there are two (or more) very little ones, it’s easy to feel like your parenting is subpar. Plus, the naps don’t always line up in a way that will allow you to rest. Fortunately, they get bigger, and their needs become more compatible.

Best wishes!

 

[mum4boys]

I have 5 kids, married almost 24 years. We had our first at 20 and our last at 37. I would take a dozen more. First two kids are 21 months apart, 6 year gap, 3 and 4 are 15 months apart then an 8 year gap. It was not hard at all going from 1 child to 2. Honestly, 4 was easier then 2.

 

[holyrood]

Excellent advice, thank you. May God bless you and your beautiful family!

Thank you!

Could you expand on the timing? I assume some multiple births in there?

Pretty much every 2 years:

I had a child when I was 20, 22, barely 25, 26, 28, 31, twins when I was 33, and my youngest when I was 36.

 

[Rau]

Thank you!

Pretty much every 2 years:

I had a child when I was 20, 22, barely 25, 26, 28, 31, twins when I was 33, and my youngest when I was 36.

Ok, I misread your earlier post. I read you had your 9th cold at age 20!

 

[LongingSoul]

Do you wish you could’ve started having children when you were younger? Do you wish you could’ve had more? Any advice/tips for starting a family welcome! Thank you.

I married at 25. Conceived my first 12 months later (Gerard was sadly stillborn). Finally had Patrick when I was 28. Had Michael when I was 30 and Johanna when I was 32.

I’m content with 3 because to be honest, I’m not naturally maternal. I love motherhood and choose to be a stay at home Mum (which I still am and they are nearly 19, 21 and 23)… but I could never master discipline like others could and I still panic about practical mothering things.

I’m glad I had them soon after marriage because I wouldn’t want to still be doing with little ones at 51 like some of the ladies I know. I think after you’ve had your first, you have a good idea of what sort of mum you are and whether you can deal with a bigger or smaller family.

 

[vsedriver]

I was married at 32. Got pregnant at 35 but miscarried. A year later I got pregnant again and had my first son at age 36. I had a lot of complications and he arrived early by C-section. I was told not to have any more children. God had other plans and I got pregnant 8 months later and had my second son at age 37.This was a high risk pregnancy. I would have liked to have had more children but it wasn’t to be. Only a few years later I had cancer and the chemo shut down my ovaries so no more babies for me.

I quit my career and stayed a full time mom till my kids were 15 and 16. Then went back to work full time. I loved every minute of being a stay at home mom.

 

[Memaw]

I was married at age 19, had my first son 10 1/2 months later, 2nd son 2 years after that and 3rd son almost 3 years later. 4th son 15 months later, 5th son 1 year later and he died 4 months before my first husband was killed in an accident. A couple years later I remarried, 2 years later I had my 6th son and 4 years after him I had my 7th son. 2 years after that I had my 8th son and he died before birth. My last child, a 9th son was born 2 years after that and when he was age 7 I lost my second husband to heart failure. Yes I loved my large family, I was a “stay at home” Mom but they didn’t call it that then. We did a lot of sacrificing so the boys could go to Catholic schools and high school. Both husbands were converts. God was with me all the time. I love the poem “Footprints”. And now I have 12 grandkids and 7 gr. grandkids and I am a happy Mom & Gr.Ma.

 

[Dorothy]

I was married at 20 and had my first child 9 1/2 months later. By the time I was 37 I had 8 children. I enjoyed my large family, challenges and all. I believe that is because I experienced the joy of large families because my Mom had five sisters and one brother. Weekends and holidays were such fun in having so many cousins, aunts and uncles around.

As a child it was not a big deal that I never got a shiny new bicycle. Bicycles from older cousins were just fine. There were always hand-me down clothes and beautiful clothes my Mom made for me and my two younger sisters. So, thankfully, I never had the idea that one had to be financially perfect to make one’s children happy.

I’m 77 and a widow now, and am close (in spirit) to all my children. They live in various states of the US and visit occasionally. Of course we e-mail and call on phone also. When we have a family reunion, every four years or so, we laugh until we cry at the funny antics that happened while growing up.

Whether we have one child or ten, there will always be challenges…but with the grace of God we get through them. And, there WILL be challenges!

 

[The_Bucket]

Married at 22, wife and I found out about our oldest just three months later! He was followed up by another just a little more than a year after that. Our youngest was born just a few months ago.

I was 23 when the eldest was born, 24 with the second and 28 with the third.

 

[Starrsmother]

Do you wish you could’ve started having children when you were younger? Do you wish you could’ve had more? Any advice/tips for starting a family welcome! Thank you.

I’m an old lady, but here goes: I was married in 1968 in the Catholic church when I was 17–NO, I wasn’t pregnant but my husband was in the Navy and was going to be shipped out for his 2nd tour of duty in Vietnam. We were high school sweethearts, though he had graduated and was 20 years old at the time we married. We always joke that I married him so young because he told me that he was going to Nam, would get killed and then I’d get the $10,000.00 life insurance policy (which is what they paid back then) but that he lied to me, failed to get killed, and came home,thus cheating me out of the 10 grand he had promised me! LOL! My oldest is a girl, born in '70, then my son in '72, another son in '77, a third son in '83 and my 5th and final was another daughter in '87 for a total of 5 kids, 2 girls and 3 boys. So, I was 19 with my first, then 21, 26, 32 and my last when I was 36. I lost a baby in '80 when I was 29. I’m 62 now.

I have 5 children and had 1 miscarriage= 6 pregnancies. I am still with my original husband. I never regretted having 5–and if I had it to do over again I’d probably hope for more. We did use artificial birth control on and off–though we were never particularly careful, nor did we use it for any specific length of time. I wish we would have chosen NFP, but we were very young and I was a haphazard Catholic for much of our marriage so I never gave it a try. Frankly, I breast fed and that probably would have worked just fine along with NFP to space the kids–hind sight is 20-20.

If I were to have a do-over, and if I could have the same 5 kids but at different times, my only change would be to have waited to marry and begin having kids until we were older. I think it would’ve been easier if we had been a little older and mature and financially secure before we started bringing kids into the equation. (Particularly since I didn’t get my 10 grand! LOL!) I should have finished my education first and let my husband get out of the service and get his own education prior to our marriage. We have lived through some hard times, but were able to give our kids all the things people think kids need-- a decent home in decent neighborhoods, dance lessons, music lessons, gymnastics, cheerleading, sports, vacations etc–but sometimes I had to work so many hours/week to do so that I didn’t get to do everything with the kids that I wish I could have in retrospect. I say that, because I am a nurse practitioner, so I spent an awful lot of time trying to go to school with 5 kids at home—and then I worked often 60-80 hours a week. It took me 3 times as long to get 1/2 of anything done! LOL! I don’t think I would choose to have been a total stay at home mom–though I respect those who do so. to me, I know I would’ve gotten bored at home 7/24 without some outside stimulation—I just wish I’d had a little less outside stimulation than I often did, if that makes sense. A few times during those baby having years I did get to be a stay at home mom, but most of the time I was either in college or worked or both. Infact, with my 5th child, I literally worked all night in L&D the night before I had her and was back at work within 4 weeks, I think, I always worked nights—7p.m. to 7 a.m. so either my husband or I were one or the other home for our kids—other than for a short few years during the time my 2nd and 3rd child were born. With 5 kids, we really needed me to work as my husband’s work never paid as well as mine–and no, that never made him feel insecure. Not paying the rent would have made him feel VERY insecure! LOL!

I home schooled my last 2 kids for 2 years each and that was a little rough as I was working at the time too. I have 9 grandkids and 1 great grand daughter. WHEW! That makes me feel rally old!

 

[Musician]

I was a military wife at age 20 and had our first baby nine months later. By the time I was 25 we had four, each baby wanted and loved. My husband is much older so we stopped there. Having children keeps you young!

 

[Contra_Mundum_1]

I got married at 32, had my first child at 34 and the second came a year and a half later.

I wish I had children younger, because at 34 I already felt a bit tired and set in my ways and the transition to motherhood was not easy for me.

 

[mum4boys]

Having had my first at age 20 and my last at age 37, I can definitely say, it is “harder” as in my energy spent having a child later in life. Of course now I look back, even though I have always enjoyed my children, I think I appreciate even more the youngest, each stage she is going through as I know soon this will pass and she will be adult before I know it.

Only to have the wisdom of an older mother and the energy of a younger mom.

 

[pensmama87]

I got married at 23 and our first was a “honeymoon baby,” born nine months and two days later. His brother, our second, came 25 months later. I’m 26 so there will probably be more.

We had initially planned on waiting longer to start a family, but I’m glad it didn’t turn out that way! My two year old is a great little guy. We didn’t do the two year spacing deliberately, just worked out that way due to breastfeeding. It worked for the most part…except that my older son had just finished nighttime potty training and then he regressed and we’re still working on it four months later. But that’s not something you can plan your pregnancy around.

 

[maryjk]

I was almost 30 when we had our first (and last.)

We were only able to have one child.

 

[holyrood]

Ok, I misread your earlier post. I read you had your 9th cold at age 20!

OH MY!!! That would be quite a feat! Kinda glad I didn’t!