Do you think it's acceptable for a woman to keep her last name if she were to get married?

[maryjk]

A husband is the head of the family.

Certainly the way names work varies from culture to culture. As an American, living in the American culture, I would be very hesitant as a man to marry a woman who wanted to keep her last name or hyphenate. In fact I was so hesitant, I married a woman who took my name (for many other good qualities along with her preference for names).

Fear of “losing my identity” or a desire to “maintain my independence” may be grounded in sincerely held beliefs, but I think they are very often also grounded in feminist ideology.

At the same time, I do not dismiss the importance of preserving a woman’s family history and honoring her lineage.

I think one reasonable solution is for a woman to make her maiden name her middle name. So if Miss Sue Emily Brown marries Mr, Joe Henry Ross…she could be Mrs. Sue Brown Ross, and would go by Sue Ross unless she was using her middle name for some reason, which is much differnet than going by Sue Brown-Ross or Sue Brown.

Of course, last names were not very common at all in Christendom until after AD 1000. So I can agree that there is not a moral absolute at issue here, there can simultaneously be moral issues involved to consider.

On a similar note, I generally disapprove of the title “Ms.” which seeks to blur the line between “Miss” and “Mrs” and promotes marital ambiguity.

Pax Christi and God bless

99% of the time I disagree with you.

This time? I agree.

The husband is the head of the household.

It brings me back to a key chain my mom had. “God said it, I believe it, that settles it.” Now, God did not say that I had to take my husband’s name. BUT he did say that the husband is the head of the household.

 

[sharmin]

However, as I’ve stated elsewhere, her dad insisted that she either keep her name, we both hyphenate, or I take her name. When he made this demand, I walked out, telling him he could keep her and his name…

He could “keep her”??? Is she property? You would leave your fiance over her father’s insistence? I must be misunderstanding…LOL!

 

[chevalier]

Well said.

In some cultures, there is no surname as such but a village or clan name.

Royals, which none of us are, sometimes actually don’t have a surname. As long as they don’t need IDs…

He could “keep her”??? Is she property? You would leave your fiance over her father’s insistence? I must be misunderstanding…LOL!

The situation you’re asking about has another side of the coin, namely, whether the fiancée would be ready to leave the fiancé if her father’s wishes were not fulfilled. If I had a fiancée who would leave me if I didn’t give in to her father’s wishes that I take her surname, I’d leave her even if the father actually relented, and I wouldn’t feel a twinge of guilt (and if I did, I’d dismiss it as scruples).

 

[roselily]

Do you see, how it is important at old times about one’s name that because many people have titles ; how it is in nowadays different and also one easy to change a name and pointless to keep or not keep one’s name after marriage?

The name you have you can keep it if you want when you marry and that we will have a new name when our Lord come.:heaven:

**Revelation 2
17Let anyone who has an ear listen to what the Spirit is saying to the churches. To everyone who conquers I will give some of the hidden manna, and I will give a white stone, and on the white stone is written a new name that no one knows except the one who receives it.

Isaiah 62
2 The nations shall see your vindication,
and all the kings your glory;
and you shall be called by a new name
that the mouth of the Lord will give.
3 You shall be a crown of beauty in the hand of the Lord,
and a royal diadem in the hand of your God.**

:angel1:
O Merciful Lord will give us a new name,
See! that is God will give us a new name; that there is only love and goodness then! I hope I will live a life keep God commandments, and then our Lord will give me a new name.

 

[Dan_Daly]

99% of the time I disagree with you.

This time? I agree.

The husband is the head of the household.

It brings me back to a key chain my mom had. “God said it, I believe it, that settles it.” Now, God did not say that I had to take my husband’s name. BUT he did say that the husband is the head of the household.

There is always room to find some common ground.

Based on the quote in your signature and the fact you identify yourself as Catholic, I think we might even be able to find more than 1% where we an agree.

Pax Christi and God bless

 

[Baelor]

On a similar note, I generally disapprove of the title “Ms.” which seeks to blur the line between “Miss” and “Mrs” and promotes marital ambiguity.

I assume then, that you are also in favor of introducing a male title that would eliminate this marital ambiguity?

Anyway, my mother took my father’s last name. I do not think it is a moral issue, but it helps for couples to have the same last name barring professional reasons for keeping maiden names. Hyphenation is also something some of my extended family members have done, and that has worked fine. I think splitting the children in terms of last names is confusing.

 

[Dan_Daly]

There is a title for single men: master.

There are a couple of reasons I think it has fallen so far out of popularity.

1. It abbreviates the same as Mister (Mr.), so they are indistinguishable in print, although master can also be abbreviated Mstr.
2. More significantly, I think our society simply has a problem with the word master. We want to be our own boss, and even if the title is used to refer to someone who is not our boss, it bothers people.

Basically the only place you hear it used is in Batman. Alfred the butler doesn’t call Bruce Wayne “Master Wayne” because he is the boss, but because he is single.

Pax

 

[Spyral]

I think a better modern approach is for BOTH the man and the woman to change their name. So John Smith & Jane Doe might become Mr & Mrs Awesomesauce.It would also symbolise the beginning of their own family. However it might confuse people.

 

[kbachler]

Or do you think a woman should take her husband’s name?

I’m a female only child and if I get married someday I’ve always had the idea I want to keep my last name and possibly pass it on to my kids to keep the family name. I guess i’m open to combining it with my future husband’s, if his wasn’t too long.

Yes. I’ve known women who have done both (my wife kept her maiden name, and I work with many women who combine names.) I have even known couples who BOTH combined names.

 

[Baelor]

There is a title for single men: master.

I have not found anything that suggests that “Master” was used equivalently to “Ms.” In fact, the closest usage I have found is to refer to young males.

In other words, do you have any documentation of it being used in the same way as Ms., i.e. all unmarried women, versus only in reference to younger men?

 

[hope1986]

When I marry I will have a hyphenated name, i am the last of my family on my mothers side, my fiancee and I have decied that unless we have all boys our children will have a hyphenated name, but if they want when they are older they can choose just to use one name, if we only have sons they will have my fiancees name as their middle name and mine as their surname, kinda unusual I know but my fiancee already has 5 male cousins to carry on his family name

 

[Barry_Gabriel]

Or do you think a woman should take her husband’s name?

I’m a female only child and if I get married someday I’ve always had the idea I want to keep my last name and possibly pass it on to my kids to keep the family name. I guess I’m open to combining it with my future husband’s, if his wasn’t too long.

There is no religious reason to take a husband’s name. Here in Canada’s Quebec, it is the law that a woman keeps her “maiden” name. In the Highlands of Scotland, the woman keeps her maiden name. Whatever you do, double-barreled surnames are for the birds

 

[bextah]

I was born in Scotland and I understand women always were known by their own name up until the governments invented census counting and income tax in the nineteenth century.It was much easier to keep track of people if they were listed under one family name ,If you take a look in Scottish cemeteries you will find many women married for years but listed by their own name on their gravestones…I.E JEAN MC ELROY
wife of
DONALD MC LEAN
This is a well known fact in Scotland and many women in smaller towns who maybe well known locally the first name IE Jean is dropped and the last name is commonly used to address her .there was a belief you leave the world as you came into it and the Baptism name was the one you are judged under when you get to the pearly gates

My parents are both Scottish, and it did seem to be very common for women including my mother to keep their maiden name, and give it or their own mother’s maiden name as an additional middle name - very handy for tracing family back through the years.

There also seems to be a common practice of women being called their second Christian name - e.g. Elizabeth Margaret called Margaret, Margaret Heather called Heather…

I live in Australia in an area which has had a high percentage of Scottish and Irish migrants from the post war era - maybe it’s localised…

I always thought I would take my husband’s name, but since I turned 30, I have grown quite an attachment to my own name, I’m a bit torn about relinquishing it!

Fortunately in Australia I can use both without making any formal changes - if I want something in my married name I would just have to show my marriage certificate, such as for school purposes - school here have a habit of automatically hyphenating if there are two names

 

[NSFrame]

There is a title for single men: master.

There are a couple of reasons I think it has fallen so far out of popularity.

1. It abbreviates the same as Mister (Mr.), so they are indistinguishable in print, although master can also be abbreviated Mstr.
2. More significantly, I think our society simply has a problem with the word master. We want to be our own boss, and even if the title is used to refer to someone who is not our boss, it bothers people.

Basically the only place you hear it used is in Batman. Alfred the butler doesn’t call Bruce Wayne “Master Wayne” because he is the boss, but because he is single.

Pax

I’m pretty sure “Master” is only used for young boys. Bachelors are still Mr.

 

[kbachler]

I’m pretty sure “Master” is only used for young boys. Bachelors are still Mr.

Wiki has a good explanation at en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Master_%28form_of_address%29. They agree with your comment for North America, but say that it’s an English honorific for an unmarried man.

 

[Baelor]

Wiki has a good explanation at en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Master_%28form_of_address%29. They agree with your comment for North America, but say that it’s an English honorific for an unmarried man.

The Wiki states that the use of “Master” for bachelors is no longer in use even in England.

 

[Phemie]

I assume then, that you are also in favor of introducing a male title that would eliminate this marital ambiguity?

It was recently announced that in France, since there is no honorific to distinguish single from married men, women, whether or not they are married, will now be ‘madame’ on official and legal documents.