Do you think priests should be allowed to marry?

[distracted]

I would think that they probably have the priest talk with his spiritual director and who knows, maybe they even provide a counselor. I’m sure they want the priest to discern this for a long time just as he did before he became a priest as it is such a huge step. I’m sure they help all they can and I bet they do not pressure either way. After all, they want their priests to be there fully, not half-heartedly out of guilt. I want to add that this is just my guess, I don’t know for sure.

sounds good… sounds like what should be done… but i kinda get the feeling something isn’t right with the whole situation… Of course, there is always something “not right” about evertything in this world. But anyway… I just wish i could find a goodbook about this… but i think the Church doesn’t like such books… (??) because… well… various reasons… #1: they don’t want priests leaving in droves to get married…

 

[BSHoop96]

sounds good… sounds like what should be done… but i kinda get the feeling something isn’t right with the whole situation… Of course, there is always something “not right” about evertything in this world. But anyway… I just wish i could find a goodbook about this… but i think the Church doesn’t like such books… (??) because… well… various reasons… #1: they don’t want priests leaving in droves to get married…

distracted…of course they don’t. But it does happen. Can you give me an idea of what you mean when you say something is not right? Tell me again what your basic question is. Is it "can a priest be relieved of his pastoral duties with a dispensation (or whatever) if he feels he wants to marry?

Just a thought…when they relieve a priest of his duties I would imagine there is a whole range of issues…not just that he is (or believes himself to be) in love with someone. And I believe that sometimes you can be in love with someone but find that the price you have to pay, is not somethintg you are willing to do. If he leaves, either way I might add, can he accept that and go on, without feeling that he left other things behind that he will regret. Will he be able to function if he finds that the grass is not always greener on the other side. Will he eventually blame the person that was the reason for his leaving…so on and so on. It’s so complicated. I don’t envy anyone in that position.

 

[soxfan72]

Excuse me for not reading all 733 posts. I meant the whole Church, including the hierarchy, should discuss it, not just the members of this forum.

 

[distracted]

Can you give me an idea of what you mean when you say something is not right?

I just meant that sometimes people in the Church are very cold and uncaring about others’ sufferings, what they are going through… and this counseling you mention may not be readily available… Of course, it probably is available to priests… I just think that the Church needs to treat ALL its members as priests (though not ministerial priests)… meaning that God is no respecter of persons so why are people in the Church? It seems that priests get the best of everything… and other members… different story…

Tell me again what your basic question is. Is it "can a priest be relieved of his pastoral duties with a dispensation (or whatever) if he feels he wants to marry?

No, already know answer to that…

…when they relieve a priest of his duties I would imagine there is a whole range of issues…not just that he is (or believes himself to be) in love with someone. And I believe that sometimes you can be in love with someone but find that the price you have to pay, is not somethintg you are willing to do. If he leaves, either way I might add, can he accept that and go on, without feeling that he left other things behind that he will regret. Will he be able to function if he finds that the grass is not always greener on the other side. Will he eventually blame the person that was the reason for his leaving…so on and so on. It’s so complicated. I don’t envy anyone in that position.

those are some of the reasons the Church is so slow to grant dispensations… and She is right to do so… the Church has proven to be wiser than humans over and over and over…

Even, strangely enough, wiser than ME…

too bad everyone does not want to see this wisdom… or once seen, adhere to it…

Jesus said that the way to eternal life is narrow and there are few who find it… The fact that so many reject His Church proves this…

Pray for sinners… As mentioned elsewhere, St. Faustina says that this short prayer, said with faith, can give sinners the grace of conversion:

Oh Blood and water which gushed forth from the Heart of Jesus, as a fount of mercy for us, i trust in You.

 

[BSHoop96]

Excuse me for not reading all 733 posts. I meant the whole Church, including the hierarchy, should discuss it, not just the members of this forum.

oooohhhh…okay. Whew, for a minute I thought we were going to have to start all over again!

 

[Chris_LaRock]

If you google around, you will see that sexual abuse of young people is perpetrated across the board among clergy, both married and celibate, and across all denominations. The incidence of claims against Catholic Priests is among the lowest.

School teachers are at the top of the list. But there are laws that you cannot sue a school system (!?).

You see/hear more about sexual abuse in the Catholic Church because the world is pruriently interested in celibacy and because the Catholic Church, as an organization, is a much larger target for legal assault. You would never get any multi-million-dollar settlements out of “Main Street Free Gospel Church.”

My Lutheran Church excommunicated a Pastor for cheating on his wife. Allowing clergy to marry doesn’t garentee they won’t sin sexually.

 

[BSHoop96]

I just meant that sometimes people in the Church are very cold and uncaring about others’ sufferings, what they are going through… and this counseling you mention may not be readily available… Of course, it probably is available to priests… I just think that the Church needs to treat ALL its members as priests (though not ministerial priests)… meaning that God is no respecter of persons so why are people in the Church? It seems that priests get the best of everything… and other members… different story…

Distracted…of course the church will counsel its priests. I don’t think its reasonable to think that it can treat the congregation the same way as the priests in all aspects. It doesn’t have anything to do with God being no respector of persons. It has to do with responsibility. I mean, for example, the Church doesn’t provide health care for the congregation. The church doesn’t provide housing for the congregation, stuff like that. They are responsible for the care of their priests. They are responsible for their parishoners but in different ways. That being said people can of course go to their priests if they need some counseling. Of course that might be touchy in some situations. Or, as at my church, we have the Stephen Ministry for people who feel alone, abandoned, whatever that is staffed by volunteer parishoners. But if you need professional counseling I don’t think the Church can be expected to provide this. Of course I think in some instances, where the counseling is needed because of an action from a member of the clergy, such as in the abuse cases, the church did provide counseling.

 

[distracted]

if you need professional counseling I don’t think the Church can be expected to provide this. Of course I think in some instances, where the counseling is needed because of an action from a member of the clergy, such as in the abuse cases, the church did provide counseling.

well, i guess that’s what i was talking about… counseling for those who have been abused by people working in hte Church… If you haven’t been sexually abused, well, i don’t think there is much available… but whatever… and no, i am not speaking for myself…

Anyway, on a different subject…

I feel like celebrating because i have finally come to resolution about this whole issue… God has revealed some very important truths to me about priests being celibate (or not…) and i have discovered (Why did this surprise me?) that the popes were right after all not to grant dispensations for marriage “instantly” or easily…

No wonder i pound the Catholic religion into every Protestant’s head at the first chance i get… Just kidding… (i think).

 

[BSHoop96]

Anyway, on a different subject…

I feel like celebrating because i have finally come to resolution about this whole issue… God has revealed some very important truths to me about priests being celibate (or not…) and i have discovered (Why did this surprise me?) that the popes were right after all not to grant dispensations for marriage “instantly” or easily.

I’m happy you were able to work it out!

No wonder i pound the Catholic religion into every Protestant’s head at the first chance i get… Just kidding… (i think).

I bet they are happy to see you coming!

 

[Ignatius]

I would like to know if you think priests should be allowed to marry and still stay in the priesthood… If so, Why or why not??

Actually, there are orders and Rites that have married priests.

 

[valient_Lucy]

I am not so sure this is a universally accepted notion of ordination vows… for one thing, how can a person be perpetually bound by oaths taken at one time in his life when he doesn’t know the future and how things can change in his cirucumstances/relationships?? When he is ordained, he may be 100% sure he wnts to be celibate becasue he isn’t in love with anyone and (etc.)… but in 20 yrs, things could change drastically…

forever is a very long time… How can a mere human being make such a vow, pledging his future, as if he knows what that future will hold?

You could say the same thing about marriage vows. How can a person make an oath to live with one person for better or for worse, when he doesn’t know what the future holds and how things could change in the future? When he is married, he may be !00% sure that he wants to be in a monogamous relationship with this woman because he isn’t in love with anyone else, but in 20 years, things could change drastically.

Forever is a very long time. How can a mere human being make such vows, “for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part,” as if he knows what the future will hold?

 

[Malachi4U]

I would like to know if you think priests should be allowed to marry and still stay in the priesthood… If so, Why or why not??

If they come into it married then yes, but once in no.

Whatever the Church decides is fine with me, after all she is protected by God and has suvived for 2,000 years now.

 

[emeraldcoast]

If they come into it married then yes, but once in no.

Whatever the Church decides is fine with me, after all she is protected by God and has suvived for 2,000 years now.

Hi Malachi4U,

Could you please explain to me why you believe that marriage needs to come before a priest enters the priesthood?

God Bless!.

 

[distracted]

Actually, there are orders and Rites that have married priests.

yes, and i think that, for the most part, they are not… How shoudl i say?? Well, i believe in the way the RCC does things… even if it is very difficult to live by… It is very difficult living by Christ’s commandments… He told us it would be… “narrow road”… few who make it… (etc)…

we can’t create God in our own image… (Well, actually we can but it won’t do us any good in the End)…

 

[distracted]

You could say the same thing about marriage vows.

no you can’t… it is not the same thing.

 

[valient_Lucy]

no you can’t… it is not the same thing.

How so? In both cases a person is asked to make a vow for the rest of their lives, without knowing how they might feel in the future or what is going to happen in the future. If it is unreasonable to ask a person to take a vow of celibacy because they may changed their mind at some point in the future, it is also unreasonable to ask a married couple to stay together forever, since they may change their mind.

 

[distracted]

How so? In both cases a person is asked to make a vow for the rest of their lives, without knowing how they might feel in the future or what is going to happen in the future. If it is unreasonable to ask a person to take a vow of celibacy because they may changed their mind at some point in the future, it is also unreasonable to ask a married couple to stay together forever, since they may change their mind.

in both cases, the Church can/does release from the vow … nullity in the cas of marriage and dispensation in the case of a priest wnating to marry… s

some marriages are not valid in the eyes of the Church and some vows are… can be dispensed with… the Church does not always hold one to vows said x number of yrs ago…

 

[rinnie]

in both cases, the Church can/does release from the vow … nullity in the cas of marriage and dispensation in the case of a priest wnating to marry… s

some marriages are not valid in the eyes of the Church and some vows are… can be dispensed with… the Church does not always hold one to vows said x number of yrs ago…

Yeah distracted but the op does have a valid point. What if in the case of marriage the person just wanted out and cant get an annulment. Sure they can get a divorce, but its not as easy to get an annulment. From what i have heard you must prove the marriage was never truely a marriage. And as much as people want to dog the Catholic faith its not easy. They take marriage very serious. From what i see there is quite a difference.

 

[rinnie]

Also please realize i am not making an excuse to walk away from a marriage, but i can see the ops point. I took my oath at 19. Im 47 my Dh was 21. 49 now and trust me if it wasnt for God and that Oath, we both could have walked away easy. But God was the glue that stuck us together.

 

[distracted]

, but its not as easy to get an annulment. .

from what i have heard, it seems that in some parishes it is TOO easy to get an annulment… so it probably depends on where a person lives…