Ok, Christ said it was a valid reason to divorce. This is the only exception. You can forgive the sin, but the ramifications remain. You can no longer trust your partner. The covenant you made VOWS to, are shattered. There is no more marriage. I have read the New Testament. I have read the law of moses. Many times over throughout my life. Until you have had this happen to you, you really do not know HOW you will react. Religion will be of little help. This cuts right to your soul. I dont know what the statistics are for infidelity in men. but for women who are married for 5 years, there is a 60% chance they Will commit adultery. So guys, be very careful who you choose. Based on personal experience, I would think the number is higher. But that is just me. A guy is almost better off, being single, and joining the Priest hood. Or a monastery. No joke. This also means there are a certain percentage of Catholic couples who are unfaithful.
60% Where did you read that? It sounds like something right out of the famous Kinsey reports which were hopelessly methodologically flawed and intended to make normal people think that “everyone is doing every perversion”… So don’t give me some stupid statistics that is probably fake. You really should know better.
You write you are Catholic, but have you read the Catechism or any Church document on this. I tell you backed by the Church: The covenant is not shattered in case of infidelity, unless there was no marriage to begin with.
Unfaithfulness does not guarantee a decree of nullity at all.
The Church has taught from the beginning that the exception clause: “I tell you if a man divorces his wife, except for in the case of pornea, and remarries, he commits adultery”. this is the verse you refer to and its found in Matthew’s Gospel. The greek word pornea can mean
incestuous relationship, illicit marriage, fornication, prostitution, and adultery. The Church, who wrote the Gospels and sees this verse in context of the rest of the New Testament, has always held that the only possible interpretation lies within the first two options, that is, incestuos relationship (too close blood relations or blood-affiliation relationships are also causes for invalidity of marriage today) or illicit marriage (that is invalid marriage because of impediments, previous bonds, insanity, being forced etc).
When you see what Christ and Paul say about marriage all though the New Testament its very clear that divorce and remarriage because of infidelity is not within the thoughts that Christ had on marriage. He shows us that he has restored us to a state where the rules from the beginning apply. He does away with divorce letters.
After His words its clear that the apostles said: “Ugh, if this is really how it is - that one is bound in marriage much more than eg. rabbis Shamai and Hillel said - then who would ever wanna get married?”
Look, its all not about feelings. This is what the Church teaches, and as a Catholic you ought to understand why that is. It makes total sense to me and I am a convert who grew up in a church where people marry and remarry for every private reason, while interpreting Scripture in the east and west as we say here.
I have stated that one may well wish to seperate from an unfaithful spouse, and that is OKAY. I probably would too, unless he was so sorry like I have never seen anyone so sorry, but the validity of marriage is determined when you marry, not later… and its not suddenly invalid if a spouse after 15 years falls into temptation after a party with his colleagues.
Please try to understand the wisdom of the Church.
