Do you trust your spouse?

[Serap]

I sincerely hope the Holy Spirit does no such thing…lol I’m very content as I am. I have several very close women friends whose company and conversation I enjoy enormously and I get to act as chaperone for my sister when her husband works abroad.

It’s always awful to discover that the person whom you loved and cherished and thought you knew never really existed. It took a long time for me to recover but you do in the end. Life just picks you up and sweeps you along regardless. One has no option but to go with the flow and I’ve long since forgiven her. She’s no longer important to me…if anything I just feel sorry for her.

 

[jdizon]

My wife had an one night stand months after we were married and i actually forgave for it, but 5 years later don’t think I actually have. This caused issues over the years too and now seperated.

I think Trust is a beautiful thing. When you start questioning your partner where, when, who with etc? then I’ve realised you don’t trust them.

It’s very hard to gain someone’s trust in a relationship and believe it’s something that’s not earnt, but there when you fall in love. If you both are true to each other you really will know.
tampa family law

 

[SarahR]

I trusted completely! DH was beyond reproach, he was so faithful to me and the Lord. That’s part of the reason he fell into adultery, we both thought he was untouchable.

Trust but be careful! How foolish to think we are strong enough to withstand the lure of sin.

ETA: For all of the spouses who have posted things like, “I trust my spouse 100% and I know they would never do anything…”
Please redouble your prayers for them, and out of love, help them avoid temptation. Some posters have gone so far as to say that overnights spent alone with a member of the opposite sex are “no problem”. Please guard your marriage more than that. Do you really think Satan can’t find a way to baby-step sin into your or your spouse’s lives?

 

[SarahR]

Beautiful,

are you aware there are people who will marry you and use your deepest beliefs to destroy you?

They will use your intention to keep your marriage permanent as a chance to defraud you.
They will use your desire to forgive as Christ forgave and turn the other cheek as a chance to hit that cheek too. Over and over. (How many years do you think a battered wife should turn the other cheek? Huh?)

They will use your desire to be forgiving to give you many things to forgive. Infidelity, verbal abuse, theft, lies, and the thousand indignities that only certain spouses suffer and know about.

But if you do anything wrong you will get no forgiveness in return. They will throw that incident 10 years ago when you said something in front of their friend in your face as a reason to hate you today.

I do hope your post was not directed toward those who have experienced marriage as an exercise in inhumanity.

In an ideal world, your questions apply and are good. Not everyone lives in an ideal world.

Some people will use your religion against you to demean you and grind you into the ground until even you doubt your faith in God and His word.

Wise indeed.

 

[baylee]

I trusted completely! DH was beyond reproach, he was so faithful to me and the Lord. That’s part of the reason he fell into adultery, we both thought he was untouchable.

Trust but be careful! How foolish to think we are strong enough to withstand the lure of sin.

ETA: For all of the spouses who have posted things like, “I trust my spouse 100% and I know they would never do anything…”
Please redouble your prayers for them, and out of love, help them avoid temptation. Some posters have gone so far as to say that overnights spent alone with a member of the opposite sex are “no problem”. Please guard your marriage more than that. Do you really think Satan can’t find a way to baby-step sin into your or your spouse’s lives?

THIS is how I feel about all of this. We should trust each other and ourselves, BUT we are ALL capable of falling into sin…all kinds.

 

[GerlyOne]

I trusted completely! DH was beyond reproach, he was so faithful to me and the Lord. That’s part of the reason he fell into adultery, we both thought he was untouchable.

Trust but be careful! How foolish to think we are strong enough to withstand the lure of sin.

ETA: For all of the spouses who have posted things like, “I trust my spouse 100% and I know they would never do anything…”
Please redouble your prayers for them, and out of love, help them avoid temptation. Some posters have gone so far as to say that overnights spent alone with a member of the opposite sex are “no problem”. Please guard your marriage more than that. Do you really think Satan can’t find a way to baby-step sin into your or your spouse’s lives?

SarahR,

I found your post very interesting. I have posted, thus far, on many threads, on the fact that on January 17th, 2009, I discovered that my husband of almost 25 years had been having an emotional affair, via emails, with a co-worker for approximately 2 to 3 months.

Unfortunately, I read the emails and have kept copies of them. In all honesty, after reading them over and over again, they sound a little stupid, immature, juvenile, and almost comical…maybe God is restoring my sense of humor. However, make no mistake, they still hurt like hell…it was like reading the personal email of a stranger, NOT my “devoted husband”!

He, too, is a devout Catholic, we have talked about affairs others in our lives have gone through, we have always been on the same page as far as our feelings on the subject. I am slowly getting over my shock of his betrayal, but still, I think about it when I wake up, throughout the day, and every night. I pray that I can forgive him. He has been working very, very hard to prove to me how ridiculous his behavior was and how remorseful he is…blah, blah, blah, you get the picture.

I have been praying for everyone on CAF, I cannot believe how much infidelity is out there, it is unbelievable how you can go to bed one night with a wonderful, faithful husband, and wake up the next with a cheater…May God have mercy on us all.

 

[Litcrit]

i trust my husband.

i trust him with our vows. i trust him with my body. i trust him with my emotions. i trust him with my soul. i trust him with my children, with their bodies. i trust my husband with the souls of our children.

i trust him with our money, our home, our personal property and belongings. i trust him with the well-being of my mother, and my aged grandmother. i trust him to be a loving son to his parents.

i trust him with my friends, with his friends, with our friends.

i cannot trust him with a take-home box of sushi. go figure.

I laughed while there were still tears in my eyes.

Humans fall into sin, and God is the only one that can truly be trusted, but as far as humanly possible, I trust my husband.

Married couples should agree on what is acceptable in their marriages. I personally wouldn’t like to live in a world where having a friend becomes suspect if that friend happens to be of the opposite sex, but if people are uncomfortable with that, their spouses should at least try to understand it.

 

[Lerin]

Humans fall into sin, and God is the only one that can truly be trusted, but as far as humanly possible, I trust my husband.

I’m there too!

Married couples should agree on what is acceptable in their marriages. I personally wouldn’t like to live in a world where having a friend becomes suspect if that friend happens to be of the opposite sex, but if people are uncomfortable with that, their spouses should at least try to understand it.

One of my husband’s best friends from childhood is a woman, but for many reasons, I don’t question the relationship. They stay in contact, but it is very respectful to me and considering she is in the Army and either on bases states away or across the world, and most contact is by emails now and then, there is not much occasion to be concerned about anything!

However, I would never ever ever want my husband spending the night with another female, much less in the same room! While again, they are like sister and brother… the fact is, they aren’t actually sister and brother. And even if we can trust our mate completely, I can’t say that I would spread that around as proof of our complete faith in each other, for the sake of scandal. It was a shock to read for me! It just seems like a very bad idea to me.