Do you visit the grave of a deceased loved one?

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My parents were cremated, by their own choice, and interred in a beautiful brass plaque with their names, birth and death dates engraved. I’ve only been there once as I live 2500 miles from the cemetery. If I lived close, I would visit often with flowers and prayers. As it is, I simply pray for them regularly.
 
I pray for my deceased relatives, but I’m unable to visit regularly due to distance. I visit whenever I go home. It often irks me to find no flowers on the graves of my grandparents when so many of my relatives live ten to fifteen minutes away.
 
We have an enormous family grave site, and I visit once in a while, usually on death anniversaries. To be honest, it’s less of a pious practice for me than simply a way to check that the cemetery is keeping things up. I definitely would be embarrassed if other members of the clan saw my parents’ grave in bad shape!
 
The thought of cremation gives me the willies and I think scattering the cremains is pagan and disrepectful of the teaching of the resurrection of the body. I know God doesn’t “need” an intact body to resurrect an individual but I think scattering indicates that you don’t understand or care about how sacred our mortal bodies are. Death isn’t the end and our bodies WILL be brought forth again.

A few years ago a friend tipped me off to the fact that the cemetary I want to be buried is was getting ready to raise their prices 25% so I dug into savings and my husband and I purchased graves as our Christmas presents to each other. Our friends were horrified; they thought it was a crazy, macab thing to do but what’s wrong with being smart about money?

Plus, I have the assurance that I know I’ll be buried where I want, with my husband next to me (you could get “stacking” graves cheaper but I don’t like that at all), and no one will have to scramble around trying to find a place to bury me.

I took out a good-sized insurance policy to make sure my funeral expenses are taken care of so my family won’t be burdened with that, either.
 
I grew up making regular cemetery visits with my parents. They’ve passed away, and now my husband and I take our kids to visit the relatives’ graves (and we have a lot of relatives to visit) on both sides of the family. I hope my kids will keep up the practice after we’re gone.Sometimes we look around at other graves; they all have stories to tell. I feel sad when I see neglected graves with grass encroaching on the sunken headstones or debris covering them. I realize that not all people can visit their loved ones’ graves, but it’s sad, nonetheless.
 
I don’t know, Pinklady, the thought of being embalmed and ,then, buried to turn moldy, rotten and eaten by worms grosses me out worse than being insinerated.
 
I grew up visiting the graves of my uncle (who died in Korea long before I was born) and my grandpa every year on Memorial day.

I’m ashamed to say that although my dad died nearly 10 years ago, I have not seen his grave. He grew up in UP Michigan, and after my parents divorced and his father died, moved back there. The last time I was in MI was for his funeral.

Someday I hope to go back there to say a private goodbye.
 
I just visited my maternal grandmother’s grave this weekend. She is buried in Western NY and I don’t get there often, but I was in town visiting relatives for Thanksgiving. I visit her grave everytime I’m in the area. My husband, cousins, and I brought her white carnations, which are the symbol of a lost mother or grandmother. Her grave does not lack for flowers since my uncle and aunt live down the highway from the cemetary.

I also think being embalmed and rotting away is much grosser than being incinerated. I know that at that point it won’t matter to me, but it still does and I want to be cremated. Definitely no scattering or sitting on a bookshelf though. I’d want my remains interred in a mauseleom or grave, niche, whatever’s available in the nearest Catholic cemetary.

There’s a Catholic church in Florida that my husband’s paternal grandfather attends that has a neat set up. The church has an enclosed cloister with a garden in the middle. Cremated remains are scattered in the garden, which is consecrated. my husband’s grandmother’s ashes were scattered in the cloister garden. Haven’t visited it yet, but unfortunately probably will soon since grandfather’s health is deteriorating 😦
 
Yes, we do visit on special occasions. For example we will be going to the grave of our first child today to lay a wreath on his grave. It’s a time for my husband and I to let him know that we still think about him and pray that he is in heaven.

QUOTE=WhiteDove]Do you visit the graves of any of your deceased loved ones?
 
I visited my grandpa’s grave once with my dad. and then last year my grandma died, so I went to visit them both this year on the anniversary.

I don’t know what most people think about this, but I think I always had a really strong connection with my grandpa, even though I never met him. When my mom was pregnant with me, after having 5 boys alreay, everyone thought I was going to be a boy…everyone except my grandpa. He would go out for walks and bring back these little girlie trinkets and give them to my mom:) He had been sick for a really long time, and once my grandma was in the kitchen and heard my grandpa talking in the bedroom saying “Please God, not yet, I can’t go quite yet” And grandma found him passsed out, but then he just woke up, and was fine again.

He ended up dieing a week before I was born (Nov 12, 1982)…pretty much to the minute. Another odd coincidence is that I was supposed to be born on his birthday, but I ended up being almost a month early. and then one day when I was little, my mom was about to give me a bath and I felt this overwhelming sadness, I was probably only 4 or 5, and I just started bawling and saying “I miss grandpa.” It was very strange, I remember it very vividly/

And then last year my grandma on November 16, and I thought it was very fitting that they die around the same time. So this year I went to their graves and just kinda remembered them:)

I also have my grandpas old rocking chair in my room, that’s my favorite place to read:)
 
All the relatives graves get visited on Memorial Day, and my wife’s grave more often. One set of grandparents and other relatives are buried in a little hilltop cemetery in the Missouri ozarks. It’s customary that each year on the Sunday before Memorial Day EVERYBODY’s relatives show up with a potluck lunch. There is a picnic table there for that purpose.

Once, one of my sisters in law said that upon returning to her big city office after Memorial Day weekend, the discussion turned to what everyone had done over the weekend. “Well, we had our usual picnic at the cemetery,” she said. The co-workers were all a little astounded. A picnic at the cemetery sounded a little strange to them.
 
All my family members are interned, including both my parents. I have been to 48 funerals in my life (and no weddings) including close neighborhood acquaintences, friends and companions. I stopped visiting gravesites a long time ago for my mental and physical health, and I instead have turned to the power of prayer.
 
I live too far away from my family 😦 :crying: . Whenever I do go back “home” I make a point to visit the cemetary. I get really sad because everything seems overgrown, why am I the only one visiting when I’m so far away? Maybe if I lived there I would take it for granted too.
 
I find grave yards very interesting. I enjoy walking through them, reading names and dates, thinking about who they were, where they may be now, and what happened to them. This may seem like a morbid curiosity to some, but I don’t spend all my free time doing it. Our local cemetary is a safe place to walk in the evenings because it is well lit and open, and there are many people who go to take a stroll. I probably just have a stronger emotional curiosity to the people who rest there than most. If I see a lonely grave, I may put flowers on it, or say a prayer if I think no one is left to pray for them. I’m very curious about children’s graves…they make me a little sad, especially if no one seems to have been by in a while to take care of them. I guess I’m an unpaid grave keeper?
 
I can’t expect much about deceased relatives. mostly atheism/pagen mammon worshipers (do they actually worship the mammon god in folklore, or just love money?)

plus they’re all cremated.
 
I would like to visit the graves of my family members, cemeterys dont bother me. I dont know the exact location of the graves. Mausolems creep me out more. they are damp and smell wierd :hmmm:
 
My dad and grandparents are buried too far away to visit on regular basis. I tried to convince my mother to bury dad closer, but to no avail. I would visit more often if he and grandparents were buried closer.

God Bless
Giannawannabe
 
Whenever we make a trip to visit my mother we take our children to my father’s grave site. We take extremely bright flowers, streamers, confetti, anything bright understanding that the next day it will be cleaned up. It represents my father. It gives us a chance to talk about him and pray. It also takes us a little out of our way and out of ourselves.
 
Well, I have only lost one family member (great-grandma) and it isn’t really something my family has ever done. I might do it for friends, but I don’t know where they are buried. If I find out, I’ll probably at least go out a few times.

Eamon
 
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