Does anyone else hate the Christmas season?

[cmscms]

OK, I know I am not alone in thinking Christmas is way too material and I know it is a difficult time for a lot of people but… it just seems it is so wrong to actually come out and say 'I HATE the Christmas season.

I can’t stand all the songs on the radio, the atmosphere in the shopping malls nor all the talk. A few people that I will not see until the new year have started saying to me ‘Have a good Christmas’ and to be honest the most I can say is a ‘thank you’ out of politeness hoping my disgust does not show through. Most of the time I don’t even have it in me to wish them a merry Christmas.

I will not be visiting family because there are some people I refuse to be in the same room with. So I spend Christmass with friends. And to be honest, I have accepted an invitation from one family out of being too chicken to say no. I would much rather just stay by myself.

It hurts everytime I hear ‘it is a time to be with family’. I know in my heart some members of my family are just to abusive to me and it is best I stay away. I am not traveling 400 miles just to hear them yell at me and insult me. But it seems like such a hidden shame to carry. Everyone who knows why I don’t go home just throws guilt trips at me saying things like I should forgive the people who have hurt me. No one has any sympathy for the fact that the family members that have hurt me see nothing wrong with their behaviour and continually keep up their abuse.

And the worst thing is, behind my back, the same ring leader of all the abuse says nice things about me to make me look like the bad one. This person is SO two faced. Why is it such taboo!

I have come to a fairly good level of acceptance that this is the hand I was dealt. I just feel so alone in the sense that when I do the right thing and accept I did not come from a good family, instead of being praised for my honesty and ability to break the family denial, people see me as the bad guy. Why so much insistance at ‘not being alone during the holidays’ when I live alone the rest of the year?

That is my rant for now

CM

 

[nurseryworker]

I will be spending Christmas alone also cmscms. People think they’re being helpful. My strategy has been to thank them politely for their invitation, then decline politely and change the subject as quickly and tactfully as I can. My mother is temporarily not on the same continent as I am and I am grateful for the break. My father passed away earlier this year and this will be my first Christmas alone but I am anything but lonely. I have a peace this year that I never had any other year.

I hope you have a holy Christmas cmscms and an enjoyable time with the family whose invitation you’ve accepted.

 

[cmscms]

. This is gonna sound terribly cliché and I’m sorry for that, but I would encourage you to focus on the ‘reason for the season’. Focus on the incredible gift of the Savior we have been given. Invite the Holy Family to spend Christmas with you. Whenever I am feeling lonely or discouraged about the abuse and dysfunction in my family, I ask Mother Mary and St. Joseph and our Lord to be my family and to heal the hurt and brokenness in my family.

No that is NOT cliche. If anything you read my mind ! That is what I want to tell everyone. I actually want to stand on the tallest building in town and scream it at the top of my lungs. But Christmass has become so commercialized I don’t feel I can express my true feelings

Thanks for your post

 

[cmscms]

My father passed away earlier this year and this will be my first Christmas alone but I am anything but lonely. .

I admire your self confidence. It will be my second Christmass without my dad. But I do know he is in heaven and honestly, I am much happier looking up at the sky and wishing him a merry Christmass that having him here suffering like he did the last Christmass I was with him.

 

[twoangels]

I don’t care for the Christmas season either. I’m already prone to negative thoughts and am effected by other hormones. The darkness doesn’t help. I’ve finally decided to get a light therapy lamp to help.

I find Christmas music obnoxious. First, its always the same songs. Second, when it comes to actual content about Christmas content in the songs, its always older stuff. Thankfully the last couple of years I’ve heard more religious songs that aren’t purely instrumental. But what does “my favorite things” from “The sound of music” have to do with Christmas? It seems any mention of presents and snow are a go.

As for family though, I am lucky. I love my family. The last year or two has been a little difficult because my brother was engaged to a woman with a serious personality disorder that makes it impossible to please her. My family started celebrating holiday’s twice or with them at a different part of the day than with us. The couple times we were brought together,…well it didn’t go well, and my brother became more adament he wanted nothing to do with my family.

But after being “married” to her civilly for six months, they got divorced, cut off the family, and now we can celebrate it as one family.

I don’t know the family situation you are exactly in: whose at fault and whose not. Unforunately I think dysfunctional families are more of the norm than not. The challenge is to strive to get along and keep the peace. My Dad’s side of the family has been able to do that even though things can get so large that we used to rent halls. Unforunately, some people don’t seem to know how to put negative feelings aside and treat each other well at least one day of the year. Its understandable to not want to be hurt, but don’t let your hurt fester into resentment which can hurt you more. Its not easy, but its a good goal to have.

 

[Julia_Mae]

Everyone who knows why I don’t go home just throws guilt trips at me saying things like I should forgive the people who have hurt me. No one has any sympathy for the fact that the family members that have hurt me see nothing wrong with their behaviour and continually keep up their abuse.

The day I turned 18 I swore I’d never spend another Christmas near my family. Never have, either.

BUT - turning it into a time of loneliness and anger and all that, not thinking this is a good way to go. SO! Take all the $ you saved not travelling or buying presents for them, and next year - adopt a family or child from a giving tree. My church has one, some stores have them, call social services if you can’t find another way. Then you can have a lovely time providing for people who wouldn’t have a Christmas any other way.

On Christmas Day, go find a homeless shelter or soup kitchen and pitch in. Make some cookies and take them along - not store-bought, your own. This pain can become God’s love - you just have to let it.

Merry Christmas!

 

[Contra_Mundum_1]

I hate how the secular society has hijacked our holiday and turned it into a tacky festivity of who knows what. Oh, spending time with the family and eating a lot and buying people presents. Yeah, I hate that.

I normally manage to survive the season and focus on its purpose, but this year it is hard. My husband and I have moved abroad and are alone - no visitors this Christmas. We have gone through a rough couple of months and I feel exhausted. I am in no mood to celebrate. We will keep it simple this year.

Also, what really gets to me is that a number of other expats I hang out with are quite anti-religious but at the same time have been talking for weeks about buying the right gift for so and so, about the Christmas meal, about putting up the tree, etc. All irrelevant, superficial stuff. It all seems completely souless to me. I have been complaining to a friend about this as well as about my feelings of loneliness and saddness, and she reminded me that there is a hint of Good Friday even in Christmas. Sometimes we have nothing to give baby Jesus but our pain, loneliness and fears. And that is OK. This is my Christmas mood this year.

 

[ManicFaze]

It sounds like everyone who is annoyed with the Christian holiday of Christmas is forgetting the real celebration of a child’s birth. It was never meant to be about the music or all the commercialism Madison Ave has slowly brained washed into all religions of America this time of year.
The Bible is full of stories of families not getting along so you saying you can’t stand to spend time with your family during this time is not all that taboo. However the same book is filled with stories of forgiveness for worst of wrongs, brothers selling a fathers favorite son into slavery only for that son to forgive and reward those same siblings who wronged him years earlier.
I have lived with an alcoholic father my entire life and know all too well what it’s like to be cussed out at the Christmas dinner table or being put down because I’m still trying to figure out my major in college. But I love him unconditionally just has my father has always loved me no matter how much pain I have caused him and my mother over the years, it’s what family does. Show me a non dysfunctional family and I will show you a family who has never spent more than 5mins with each other at a time.

This time of year is what we chose to make of it, whether we spend it alone, with an extended family of friends or the people we share the same last name with, it’s about the beginning of the faith we have chosen and celebrating the birth of the Christian Messiah.

For the record I do not hate the holiday itself, but I do hate what we have turned it into.

 

[GEddie]

I do not hate the season, but wonder if it is possible to truly enjoy it once one is no longer a child?

It seems that once one is too old for toys and Santa, the month occupied by Advent becomes a chaos of preparation chores, shopping, etc, and all of the interpersonal stress that that implies.

Also, I have just been emotionally burned by a member of the opposite gender, and am being driven nuts by all of the seasonal music that has a romantic tilt to it. The Jews don’t expect Hannukah to be romantic.

There’s got to be a better way to celebrate the birth of a boy child from 6 BC?

OP: I feel your pain. Enjoy your friends, the season will be over soon enough.

ICXC NIKA

 

[pnewton]

I love it all, except the crowds. I can’t stand the traffic, the parking, the Mall and especially the Walmart.

 

[RKO]

I once read a book about Solanus Casey. His first night at the monastery was Christmas eve. He described the monastic tradition of Christmas. I think the “celebration” was a glass of wine at dinner.
If my Christmas was celebrated like that, I’d love it. It’s not, so I avoid the whole thing.

 

[ahollars]

There is a fine line between rejecting commercialism and coming across sounding like this guy…

(Please Note: This uploaded content is no longer available.)

Personally, I don’t mind the commercialism, as long as what I do does not get lost in the celebration. Then again, I only have two days left, and I have nothing under our tree.

 

[novelista]

I don’t hate the Christmas season, but I do hate feeling like I haven’t done enough or bought enough, or spent enough time decorating with the family. I tend to get these high expectations, and then end up with severe Christmas let-down afterward. It’s like after the presents are opened and the feast eaten, I think “really is that all there is?” I love the anticipation of the holiday and we get along with our families; however, this year, it has been very hard for me to get into the holiday spirit. I think that everybody can keep Christmas however they choose to, and just remember the reason for the season. That’s what I’m trying to do.

 

[TheRealJuliane]

I was just wondering if it would be wrong to just stop celebrating Christmas…I mean, Jesus’ birth wasn’t even celebrated by the early Christians, but his death was commemorated. Over the centuries Christmas has come to be at least equal to, and in many cases, more important than Easter. Does that sound too much like the JWs??

Honestly, I’d still go to church during Advent and all, but do we have to do all of the rest of it? Even church on Christmas? You can tell I don’t have small children!

 

[exoflare]

I was just wondering if it would be wrong to just stop celebrating Christmas…I mean, Jesus’ birth wasn’t even celebrated by the early Christians, but his death was commemorated. Over the centuries Christmas has come to be at least equal to, and in many cases, more important than Easter. Does that sound too much like the JWs??

Honestly, I’d still go to church during Advent and all, but do we have to do all of the rest of it? Even church on Christmas? You can tell I don’t have small children!

We need to go to Mass on Christmas, but that’s it.

 

[onjac]

No. The songs can get obnoxious and I don’t get as much of a thrill now that I’m an adult. But I like the decorations and I like seeing people milling about.

Plus, Nat King Cole’s The Christmas Song is a classic.

 

[GEddie]

No. The songs can get obnoxious and I don’t get as much of a thrill now that I’m an adult. But I like the decorations and I like seeing people milling about.

Plus, Nat King Cole’s The Christmas Song is a classic.

I normally love the season, although I have now outgrown most of the “fun”.

Still, I am not sure how to retrieve the spirit this year, given all of the interpersonal stress, and the emotional hit I’ve taken. If Christmas is supposed to be as romantic as in so
many of the songs, I’ve had it blown for me this year.

ICXC NIKA

 

[mary_bobo]

I think it is easy to expect more from Christmas than one holiday can give. I suppose many of us remember Christmases past where we were younger and had things to look forward to. As we get older, it is not the same. I am very fortunate that my three children and spouse will be here for Christmas dinner, but it is not the same. My husband passed away two years ago right before Christmas and I miss him greatly. But I have changed my traditional menu, put up less decorations and am going to hospice to serve Christmas dinner to the families and any of the patients who are able to come. We will have carols and wonderful food, all prepared by the volunteers. When I do that I can see how much it means to those who come and it makes me feel better. Doing something for others always makes you feel better. May all our forum posters have a blessed Christmas and a better New Year. God bless.

 

[Contra_Mundum_1]

I was just wondering if it would be wrong to just stop celebrating Christmas…I mean, Jesus’ birth wasn’t even celebrated by the early Christians, but his death was commemorated.

I think it would be. The church looks at his *entire *life, birth, circumsision, childhood, baptism, etc. Everything is important and remembering those events helps us see Jesus in both his humanity and divinity. It is some protestant groups that don’t celebrate Christmas and only focus on his 2nd coming because they see his birth as irrelevant in comparison to the ressurection and whatever will happen next. But that understanding is very different from what the church teaches.

 

[GEddie]

I think it would be. The church looks at his *entire *life, birth, circumsision, childhood, baptism, etc. Everything is important and remembering those events helps us see Jesus in both his humanity and divinity. It is some protestant groups that don’t celebrate Christmas and only focus on his 2nd coming because they see his birth as irrelevant in comparison to the ressurection and whatever will happen next. But that understanding is very different from what the church teaches.

Well yeah, since you can’t be a human being without being born, and He definitely wAs one!

Messianics also do not celebrate Christmas, since they consider themselves to be Jewish, although they believe in our LORD.