Does anyone hate being a woman?

[ShrodingersCat]

It doesn’t matter if you are a woman or a man - be yourself. Short of doing anything immoral, you can ignore every gender-related social convention that doesn’t suit you.

If you feel as insecure as you appear, I really think you should talk to a professional. You can get over these feelings of inadequacy. They aren’t facts - they are your own negative opinions of yourself and they are flawed, I promise you.

 

[Lea101]

It doesn’t matter if you are a woman or a man - be yourself. Short of doing anything immoral, you can ignore every gender-related social convention that doesn’t suit you.

If you feel as insecure as you appear, I really think you should talk to a professional. You can get over these feelings of inadequacy. They aren’t facts - they are your own negative opinions of yourself and they are flawed, I promise you.

Can’t afford one, and anyway, there’s no proof that they aren’t facts. Nothing that has happened for the past 14 years proved me wrong :crying:

 

[TheAmazingGrace]

Can’t afford one, and anyway, there’s no proof that they aren’t facts. Nothing that has happened for the past 14 years proved me wrong :crying:

Health insurance covers psychiatric care, if you have it. If not, talk to a priest you trust, and see if he can refer you to anyone. Sounds like you need a serious change of scenery.

 

[TheAmazingGrace]

I just feel like i would be happier as a male. Not that being a guy is a bed of roses, but life for me would be better if I was a dude imho

Well, like it or not, God made you a woman and that’s something that you’re just going to have to accept. He did it for a reason, and you wouldn’t be YOU if you were a man. You are a gift to the world Lea, and you are beautiful and wonderful beyond belief. The world has plenty of men, but only one of you. True, there are biological aspects of womanhood that can be a pain to deal with, but life sucks in different ways for everyone, regardless of their gender.

 

[Heather914]

I’m sorry if this has been brought up already, but there is only one thing I hate about being a woman. Women can love a man very deeply, but most of the men I’ve dated do not have that capacity for love. Before I resolved to live chastely, I noticed that men can sleep with a woman, then drop her without batting an eyelash. Women, on the other hand, (for the most part) have trouble just throwing a guy away like trash.

So glad I have resolved to live chastely!

 

[Heather914]

This is an old thread but if you are still here Lea101,my heart goes out to you.
The problem is not with being born a woman,the real problem is society and what they have made it mean to be a woman.
Women are being valued on looks/beauty and it shouldn’t be this way.
Women are obsessing about looking attractive because we are taught that that is what brings us boyfriends,love,value,attention,worth,social status/importance and sometimes even a job.

Due to women obsessing so much about their own looks they are becoming very judgmental or even “disgusted” when they see on someone else what they perceive as a flaw or physical “abnormality”.
It is clouding their perceptions because they are told (even overtly or subconsciously) that that’s what mattered when being a woman if we want to measure up.

Society is wrong though.
Look at Mother Theresa.She was not the most prettiest but she was the greatest due to her heart and spirit.

You mentioned the possibility of an operation at 4-was this to do with your eyes like Strabismus or something?

Regarding periods,you may have Endometriosis as it shouldn’t be that painful.

So true! In today’s society, if you aren’t thin and beautiful (especially thin) you’re expected to go hide in a hole until you lose weight. :’(

 

[Monica4316]

I think our society places way too much importance on physical appearance. I grew up feeling less pretty than other girls and then as a teen went the other way and became too focused on appearance, makeup, etc. I’m now 30. A few years ago I decided to give up makeup. It was hard at first (I felt even more plain) but after a while, I began feeling much joy over my decision. I feel like I have accepted who God has created me to be and it matters less what people think. I’m maybe not as “beautiful” as some I know but this can protect me from vanity, and I’m the way I am for a reason. God sees the heart while others do not.

Lea, I know it can be difficult to only care about what God thinks when people are cruel. But He is the one who actually loves you perfectly, and people can be cruel because of our fallen nature. I pray that God would give you the peace of knowing how loved you are. Something im still trying to learn too. God bless you

 

[Lea101]

Well, like it or not, God made you a woman and that’s something that you’re just going to have to accept. He did it for a reason, and you wouldn’t be YOU if you were a man. You are a gift to the world Lea, and you are beautiful and wonderful beyond belief. The world has plenty of men, but only one of you. True, there are biological aspects of womanhood that can be a pain to deal with, but life sucks in different ways for everyone, regardless of their gender.

I don’t think we are all gifts to the world, some of us are unimportant and we die and we won’t have any impact on anything? God doesn’t ‘make’ you, he kind of lets biology do its thing doesn’t he?

I know life sucks for guys too, but not that way

 

[Trident_H]

I’m sorry if this has been brought up already, but there is only one thing I hate about being a woman. Women can love a man very deeply, but most of the men I’ve dated do not have that capacity for love. Before I resolved to live chastely, I noticed that men can sleep with a woman, then drop her without batting an eyelash. Women, on the other hand, (for the most part) have trouble just throwing a guy away like trash.

So glad I have resolved to live chastely!

And this. This above all is why I truly respect women. It seems they have this capacity for love. They can be as emotionally close as this.

And I mean I crave that closeness too. But then I don’t exactly fit the typical guy routine either. I guess.

 

[TheAmazingGrace]

I don’t think we are all gifts to the world, some of us are unimportant and we die and we won’t have any impact on anything? God doesn’t ‘make’ you, he kind of lets biology do its thing doesn’t he?

I know life sucks for guys too, but not that way

Please forgive me if I sound harsh, but this needs to be said.

I think your current misery has less to do with circumstance, appearance, social pressures, etc., than with your cynical, relentlessly pessimistic attitude. You seem determined to be unhappy, regardless of how much support and encouragement you receive from your fellow CAF posters. If you’re in mental distress, see a psychiatrist, or at least a priest. If you’re physically uncomfortable due to your cycle or whatever, talk to your doctor. If someone is giving you guff for any reason, stand up for yourself.

Satan is speaking through your mother and others when they undermine you or tell you that you aren’t beautiful. If you open your eyes and look around, the vast majority of men and women aren’t swimsuit models either. And that’s how it should be. People who are beautiful and nothing else are extremely susceptible to depression and other disorders, believe it or not. Physical beauty melts like ice in the sun, while intelligence, virtue, and personality remain.

And YES, we ARE all gifts to the world, and YES, God did make you. He gave you your soul, which is a direct reflection of His beauty and glory. It’s true, not all of us will leave behind an impressive legacy when we die. That doesn’t mean that we aren’t important, and don’t have something to offer to the world that is unique to us and us alone.

Toot male privilege all you want, but the fact remains that scores of men (and women) have it a lot worse than you. That’s not to undermine your personal struggles; I’m only three years older than you, and I hear you when you say that it’s a pain to deal with cramping, feeling unattractive, and parental flack. But honey, that’s life. Soon enough, bigger struggles are going to come along, and you’ll be unequipped to deal with them because you keep getting hung up on comparatively minor concerns.

God loves you. He hung in agony on the cross so that you could get to Heaven. As far as He is concerned, you may as well be the only person in the world. It’s hard to fathom, but it’s the truth.

I’ll pray for you. Hugs.

 

[Lea101]

Please forgive me if I sound harsh, but this needs to be said.

I think your current misery has less to do with circumstance, appearance, social pressures, etc., than with your cynical, relentlessly pessimistic attitude. You seem determined to be unhappy, regardless of how much support and encouragement you receive from your fellow CAF posters. If you’re in mental distress, see a psychiatrist, or at least a priest. If you’re physically uncomfortable due to your cycle or whatever, talk to your doctor. If someone is giving you guff for any reason, stand up for yourself.

Satan is speaking through your mother and others when they undermine you or tell you that you aren’t beautiful. If you open your eyes and look around, the vast majority of men and women aren’t swimsuit models either. And that’s how it should be. People who are beautiful and nothing else are extremely susceptible to depression and other disorders, believe it or not. Physical beauty melts like ice in the sun, while intelligence, virtue, and personality remain.

And YES, we ARE all gifts to the world, and YES, God did make you. He gave you your soul, which is a direct reflection of His beauty and glory. It’s true, not all of us will leave behind an impressive legacy when we die. That doesn’t mean that we aren’t important, and don’t have something to offer to the world that is unique to us and us alone.

Toot male privilege all you want, but the fact remains that scores of men (and women) have it a lot worse than you. That’s not to undermine your personal struggles; I’m only three years older than you, and I hear you when you say that it’s a pain to deal with cramping, feeling unattractive, and parental flack. But honey, that’s life. Soon enough, bigger struggles are going to come along, and you’ll be unequipped to deal with them because you keep getting hung up on comparatively minor concerns.

God loves you. He hung in agony on the cross so that you could get to Heaven. As far as He is concerned, you may as well be the only person in the world. It’s hard to fathom, but it’s the truth.

I’ll pray for you. Hugs.

psssh…pessimistic or realistic? Being positive can lead to disappointment, being negative can lead to a pleasant surprise You can’t honestly expect me to feel better because someone on the internet decided to think I’m beautiful, or give advice that I cannot even follow (For example, asking me to see a therapist is not useful advice, since I cannot afford one + paying for one when I am clinically sane is such a waste considering my family and financial situation)

I think I’m giving the impression that I complain and do not do anything to fix my problems, so I apologise for that. I’m fat=I went on a diet and lost weight. I’m ugly=I invested in makeup and avoid having my picture taken. I’m poor=I’m studying hard so I can get a scholarship, stuff like that. I’m not a fat potato that’s only venting on the internet, I’m a potato that’s venting+trying to improve my situation.

And Satan was not speaking through my mom (past tense because she’s sadly not around anymore), she just wanted me to feel better.

And I’m kind of confused. You basically implied that I’m beautiful, and then said that not everyone is beautiful? Annyyway, I know physical beauty is not a be-all-end-all It’s just something that is unattainable and hence distressing. If you want to be intelligent, you can just read/study hard, etc. Beauty and gender is something you cannot control. I just rather be a pretty person who is decent than an ugly one who’s decent, y’know? And physical beauty and inner beauty aren’t mutually exclusive, almost everyone I know who are attractive are great people!

And I’m aware I sound cynical when I say that I don’t agree that a person is important and has something to offer to the world even though the person does not leave any impact on the world/someone. It just sounds contradictory to me, sorry (And I think it’s apparent that I am just a whiny person with nothing else to contribute to CAF, lol!)

And I’m aware that people in like, Syria rather have my problems, I’m not denying that. And being ugly isn’t my worst problem…? It’s just not a small problem that I’m letting it rule my life, it rules my life without me letting it, if that makes sense.

 

[Lea101]

I’m sorry if this has been brought up already, but there is only one thing I hate about being a woman. Women can love a man very deeply, but most of the men I’ve dated do not have that capacity for love. Before I resolved to live chastely, I noticed that men can sleep with a woman, then drop her without batting an eyelash. Women, on the other hand, (for the most part) have trouble just throwing a guy away like trash.

So glad I have resolved to live chastely!

I know some guys who are desperate to love and be loved, but I get what you are saying. I wonder why they are like that. It has gotten to a point where a sensitive and loving man is seen as ‘whipped’ by his friends

 

[Monica4316]

I don’t think we are all gifts to the world, some of us are unimportant and we die and we won’t have any impact on anything? God doesn’t ‘make’ you, he kind of lets biology do its thing doesn’t he?

I know life sucks for guys too, but not that way

God makes each soul directly. Each person is His creation, and each is unique. Every person is part of His Will and has a mission that no one else can fulfill.

A person can impact the world in different ways. Not all are visible to others. Simply praying has an impact, or suffering with Christ, or doing small acts of charity. I think God loves the little souls in a special way.

 

[Sarcelle]

Well, like it or not, God made you a woman and that’s something that you’re just going to have to accept. He did it for a reason, and you wouldn’t be YOU if you were a man. You are a gift to the world Lea, and you are beautiful and wonderful beyond belief. The world has plenty of men, but only one of you. True, there are biological aspects of womanhood that can be a pain to deal with, but life sucks in different ways for everyone, regardless of their gender.

I don’t think I would be any happier as a man.

Everyone has struggles they have to go through. No one escapes.

Life is tough.

 

[TheAmazingGrace]

psssh…pessimistic or realistic?

Pessimistic.

Being positive can lead to disappointment, being negative can lead to a pleasant surprise

Being negative can also cause you to underappreciate pleasant things when they come along. What’s the saying? “An optimist sees an opportunity in every calamity, and a pessimist sees a calamity in every opportunity.”

You can’t honestly expect me to feel better because someone on the internet decided to think I’m beautiful, or give advice that I cannot even follow (For example, asking me to see a therapist is not useful advice, since I cannot afford one + paying for one when I am clinically sane is such a waste considering my family and financial situation)

“Clinically sane”? What? Just because someone’s not eating their hair or trying to crawl up the walls like Spiderman, it doesn’t mean that they couldn’t use some professional advice. If your parents have/had insurance, it should cover psychological counseling (although I admittedly don’t know how that works in Singapore). Most colleges also have a counselor that students can drop in and see free of charge. Or you could receive spiritual counseling from a priest. There are a lot of options, and paying a shrink out of pocket is just one.

I think I’m giving the impression that I complain and do not do anything to fix my problems, so I apologise for that. I’m fat=I went on a diet and lost weight. I’m ugly=I invested in makeup and avoid having my picture taken. I’m poor=I’m studying hard so I can get a scholarship, stuff like that.

Avoiding having your picture taken is only making matters worse. If you have children, they’re going to want to know what you looked like in college, and you’ll have nothing to show them. Even if you don’t have children, you’ll still want the mementos when you’re older.

It’s great that you have initiative, but are you using it to bolster your own self-worth, or cater to the real or imagined disapproval of others?

I’m not a fat potato that’s only venting on the internet, I’m a potato that’s venting+trying to improve my situation.

Understood. I’m Irish (American), so I have a soft spot for potatoes

And Satan was not speaking through my mom (past tense because she’s sadly not around anymore), she just wanted me to feel better.

By telling you your eyes look funny and boys are easier to raise?

All gripes aside, I’m sorry for your loss.

And I’m kind of confused. You basically implied that I’m beautiful, and then said that not everyone is beautiful?

I said not everyone is a swimsuit model, and that being beautiful and nothing else can lead to pathological misery. Everyone has some attractive feature, whether it’s their eyes, their smile, or the some total of several factors. I’m a plain-Jane (Heaven knows!) but I have very nice hair. I know, because it’s something that people tend to zero in on and compliment. I’m no Grace Kelly, but that doesn’t mean that people are looking for reason s to find me ugly.

Annyyway, I know physical beauty is not a be-all-end-all It’s just something that is unattainable and hence distressing. If you want to be intelligent, you can just read/study hard, etc. Beauty and gender is something you cannot control. I just rather be a pretty person who is decent than an ugly one who’s decent, y’know? And physical beauty and inner beauty aren’t mutually exclusive, almost everyone I know who are attractive are great people!

Having bombshell looks is great, but it’s not necessary, whether in finding a mate, winning acceptance, or getting into Heaven. You can’t control how nature formed you, and for the most part it’s pointless to try.

And I’m aware I sound cynical when I say that I don’t agree that a person is important and has something to offer to the world even though the person does not leave any impact on the world/someone. It just sounds contradictory to me, sorry (And I think it’s apparent that I am just a whiny person with nothing else to contribute to CAF, lol!)

You’re well-spoken, articulate, and you express yourself thoughtfully and intelligently. That’s more than most people on the internet, sweetie.

And I’m aware that people in like, Syria rather have my problems, I’m not denying that. And being ugly isn’t my worst problem…? It’s just not a small problem that I’m letting it rule my life, it rules my life without me letting it, if that makes sense.

As a fellow college-aged woman, I understand, and I can sympathize. At a certain point, we have to recognize that 1) some things are beyond our control 2) we’re not perfect, and 3) life is still worth living. The sooner we accept those things, the sooner we’ll find peace.

 

[Heather914]

And this. This above all is why I truly respect women. It seems they have this capacity for love. They can be as emotionally close as this.

And I mean I crave that closeness too. But then I don’t exactly fit the typical guy routine either. I guess.

Thank you Trident H! You made my day

 

[Sarcelle]

I don’t think we are all gifts to the world, some of us are unimportant and we die and we won’t have any impact on anything? God doesn’t ‘make’ you, he kind of lets biology do its thing doesn’t he?

I know life sucks for guys too, but not that way

Let me be a little more direct here. I am twice your age and I used to have your mindset.

I disagree with you when you say we are not all gifts to the world. God intends we should be gifts to the world. It is us who decides whether to act on His will and be gifts to the world. Being a gift to the world does not mean being a mover and shaker and being able to have a world wide impact. We can affect our corner of the world for good or bad. The choice is yours. You may have to fight against your feelings, take a deep breath and decide once and for all how you impact the world. I know it’s hard but ask for God’s help.

 

[Trident_H]

Thank you Trident H! You made my day

Pleasure! Glad you brought that point up.

 

[Lea101]

Let me be a little more direct here. I am twice your age and I used to have your mindset.

I disagree with you when you say we are not all gifts to the world. God intends we should be gifts to the world. It is us who decides whether to act on His will and be gifts to the world. Being a gift to the world does not mean being a mover and shaker and being able to have a world wide impact. We can affect our corner of the world for good or bad. The choice is yours. You may have to fight against your feelings, take a deep breath and decide once and for all how you impact the world. I know it’s hard but ask for God’s help.

I guess that can be true. I personally don’t have any talent or anything else that’s outstanding which is why I feel like I would leave this life silently tbh

 

[PelagiathePenit]

I’m sorry if this has been brought up already, but there is only one thing I hate about being a woman. Women can love a man very deeply, but most of the men I’ve dated do not have that capacity for love. Before I resolved to live chastely, I noticed that men can sleep with a woman, then drop her without batting an eyelash. Women, on the other hand, (for the most part) have trouble just throwing a guy away like trash.

So glad I have resolved to live chastely!

That is one thing that scares me about men. They have no problem leaving women whether it be their wife or girlfriend they impregnated. How men use prostitutes and strippers. Men are definitely detached from sex. It is difficult to find a man who will stick by you. A week or two after a breakup most of my ex’s were already with someone else while I remained grieving. Men treat women as if they are disposable. I do not know why it is this way.