Does anyone hate being a woman?

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Lea101

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Periods, disrespect, pain of pregnancy, oh I could go on.
Besides being “allowed” to play around with makeup to hide the tragic mess (face), being a woman sucks! Or a girl, I’m 18, I don’t know.

Quite of a rant, I know. But I didn’t ask to be a woman!! Why can’t I at least be a pretty woman, or a talented one? Does anyone else just wonder why God put them on Earth for?
 
Perhaps you should read Theology of the Body. I think that might help. Also, remember God LOVES you and that in His Eyes, you are BEAUTIFUL.

Also, being a woman has other pluses, for instance your’re not looked at as weird for crying in public (I personally usually hate crying in public though so will avoid it whenever possible, which is most of the time I even feel like crying, which isn’t very often; I’m not all that emotional most of the time) and not being expected to be as strong as a man and very short men get teased for being short. Also, women are not expected to just hide their emotions all the time (although like I said, I’m not all that emotional most of the time, but sometimes I’m very moody.)

I know I’m very thankful to be a woman. I’m very short and don’t get teased for it, if I ever cry in public, no one thinks it weird (as rare as that is for me) and if I’m moody on a given day, no one thinks it’s all that weird. And no one expects or thinks I should be physically strong (I mean, I guess I’m kind of strong for my height, but it’s not because of exorcise–just genetics.)

As far a periods go, you can take Motrin for the cramping; it works great for me. Also, I’ve heard of something called Pamprin that helps with the bloating too. If you want to take a more natural route, Vitex (also known as chaste berry) is an herbal supplement that can really help, as can raspberry leaf tea. Try to take whatever you choose to take for it just as the cramping begins–not when it’s already really bad.

As far as the pain of pregnancy, I’m sure there are things that can help with that too. I know that the birth process itself can be made a lot less painful by giving birth in water (and yes, some hospitals at least do offer that; I’m not sure about cost.)
 
Both men and women have positive and negative aspects of their being.
Disrespect is not part of being a woman-why would you think that?

Perhaps to focus on the positive attributes of being a woman will help you. Also pray through The Blessed Mother to help you embrace the blessings of being a woman.
 
Lea101 said:
Periods, disrespect, pain of pregnancy, oh I could go on.
Besides being “allowed” to play around with makeup to hide the tragic mess (face), being a woman sucks! Or a girl, I’m 18, I don’t know.

Quite of a rant, I know. But I didn’t ask to be a woman!! Why can’t I at least be a pretty woman, or a talented one? Does anyone else just wonder why God put them on Earth for?
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Periods and the pain of pregnancy, I can’t address (being a man).

As for disrespect: that is not a flaw of women, it’s a flaw of men (a gender-specific flaw of humanity in general). Women should be respected, because they are human beings deserving of respect and dignity, and ESPECIALLY because they can get pregnant. People treat each other with disrespect because of race, religion, sex, weight, height, hair colour, etc.

If someone does not respect you because of your sex, don’t let them drag you down (which is what they want to do). If they do not respect you, it’s not that because you are a woman you are not worthy of respect, but that *they *are incapable of *having *respect — which actually makes *them *not respectable. They tear you down because it’s easier than building themselves up.

The people whom I wonder what God put them on Earth for, are those who go about making women feel like they need to be “pretty” or “talented” or “more X” or “less Y” or whatever.

It is they who need changing and improving, not you.
 
Lea101 said:
Periods, disrespect, pain of pregnancy, oh I could go on.
Besides being “allowed” to play around with makeup to hide the tragic mess (face), being a woman sucks! Or a girl, I’m 18, I don’t know.

Quite of a rant, I know. But I didn’t ask to be a woman!! Why can’t I at least be a pretty woman, or a talented one? Does anyone else just wonder why God put them on Earth for?
Click to expand...
I, myself, am absolutely happy being a woman. No question. I do have a sister, younger, and prettier, with a better figure who has the same questions… "why can’t I be prettier? " Or younger, or have a better voice, or whatever.

I think we all are disatisfied with some aspect of ourselves. That’s part of our nature. I suspect us women may be more prone to that, due to societal pressures.

I try to remember that our “job” is to get to heaven, where I, for one, am kinda counting on that “glorified body”. (Grin).

Blessings,
Stephie
 
Take it from me, bring a guy isn’t any better. Just different.

God made you beautiful. You weren’t just an accident. This is the same God that formed the Heavens and the Earth, the Sky and the Sea, the largest Galactic body and the smallest subatomic particle. This same infinitely powerful and wise God, saw that his creation was missing a crucial part: you. He made you exactly the way he did for a reason. I pray that you can discover that reason.
 
Lea101 said:
Periods, disrespect, pain of pregnancy, oh I could go on.
Besides being “allowed” to play around with makeup to hide the tragic mess (face), being a woman sucks! Or a girl, I’m 18, I don’t know.

Quite of a rant, I know. But I didn’t ask to be a woman!! Why can’t I at least be a pretty woman, or a talented one? Does anyone else just wonder why God put them on Earth for?
Click to expand...
You are not the only one. What I hate the most about being a woman is the fact that I am so physically weak. I can be as smart, talented, successful, and good-looking as a man, but, even the smallest of men can squish me if he wants to whether I put up a fight or not. I just cannot go out into the world with the same degree of confidence as a man because I am an ant among giants. A man can do well in an anarchic world while a woman needs laws and structure of society in order to make the playing field fit for her to thrive. It is nothing inherent.
 
Lea101 said:
Periods, disrespect, pain of pregnancy, oh I could go on.
Besides being “allowed” to play around with makeup to hide the tragic mess (face), being a woman sucks! Or a girl, I’m 18, I don’t know.

Quite of a rant, I know. But I didn’t ask to be a woman!! Why can’t I at least be a pretty woman, or a talented one? Does anyone else just wonder why God put them on Earth for?
Click to expand...
Well, unfortunately, you are at an age where it’s hard to be male or female. I teach people your age, and a little older, and most of them aren’t happy with their lives. You aren’t alone, if that’s any solace, and I don’t suppose it is.

I’m thirty-three, and I love being a woman. I would not want to be a man for anything. As the poster above me said, being a man is just as hard as being a woman - just different.

I’m sure you’re lovely, and I’m sure you have talents you just haven’t discovered yet. Just keep trying. God has a special plan for your life, but you have to look for it and be aware.

Good luck and God bless.
 
TruthSeeker319 said:
Take it from me, bring a guy isn’t any better. Just different.

God made you beautiful. You weren’t just an accident. This is the same God that formed the Heavens and the Earth, the Sky and the Sea, the largest Galactic body and the smallest subatomic particle. This same infinitely powerful and wise God, saw that his creation was missing a crucial part: you. He made you exactly the way he did for a reason. I pray that you can discover that reason.
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It really doesn’t matter if God thinks I’m beautiful, to be honest. I mean, he is not going to bully me for my looks, alienate me, reject me, etc. Humans do! Objectively speaking, I’m not attractive at all. Unless some guys like the “drugged up animal that has just been punched repeatedly” look 🤷
 
I can’t speak to periods or pregnancy…I can only imagine the pains of that.

But, I can say it’s not easy as a man either. We are stimulated visually, and our culture is relentless in throwing things in our face that are temptations to sin. We also find it much easier to isolate ourselves. Being insecure isn’t exclusive to being a woman.
 
ChibiViolet said:
Perhaps you should read Theology of the Body. I think that might help. Also, remember God LOVES you and that in His Eyes, you are BEAUTIFUL.

Also, being a woman has other pluses, for instance your’re not looked at as weird for crying in public (I personally usually hate crying in public though so will avoid it whenever possible, which is most of the time I even feel like crying, which isn’t very often; I’m not all that emotional most of the time) and not being expected to be as strong as a man and very short men get teased for being short. Also, women are not expected to just hide their emotions all the time (although like I said, I’m not all that emotional most of the time, but sometimes I’m very moody.)

I know I’m very thankful to be a woman. I’m very short and don’t get teased for it, if I ever cry in public, no one thinks it weird (as rare as that is for me) and if I’m moody on a given day, no one thinks it’s all that weird. And no one expects or thinks I should be physically strong (I mean, I guess I’m kind of strong for my height, but it’s not because of exorcise–just genetics.)

As far a periods go, you can take Motrin for the cramping; it works great for me. Also, I’ve heard of something called Pamprin that helps with the bloating too. If you want to take a more natural route, Vitex (also known as chaste berry) is an herbal supplement that can really help, as can raspberry leaf tea. Try to take whatever you choose to take for it just as the cramping begins–not when it’s already really bad.

As far as the pain of pregnancy, I’m sure there are things that can help with that too. I know that the birth process itself can be made a lot less painful by giving birth in water (and yes, some hospitals at least do offer that; I’m not sure about cost.)
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Theology of the Body kind of compelled me to write this, to be honest. Something about it ticked me off-I’m not the ideal woman. I’m not a tomboy, but I don’t have the “precious” qualities that a woman is said to have in teachings like this!

I’m not saying that being a woman is completely horrible. But I hate all the limitations or the expectations. I hate how if my shorts are a little too short, I am trying to get attention, or causing people to sin. And then when I try to cover up, I’m “not doing it right”, or that I look even more ugly (I’m really short, it’s not easy to cover up without looking like I’m a 9 year old). I hate being expected to do the housework, I hate being expected to act super feminine, I hate seeing other women objectified and abused, there are so many things. A good looking man definitely have an easier life!

And at this point, I don’t do anything about cramps anymore. I take it as my punishment. :o
 
dangerousdyls said:
I can’t speak to periods or pregnancy…I can only imagine the pains of that.

But, I can say it’s not easy as a man either. We are stimulated visually, and our culture is relentless in throwing things in our face that are temptations to sin. We also find it much easier to isolate ourselves. Being insecure isn’t exclusive to being a woman.
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It must suck to constantly battle with lust, trust me I know, but it does suck being the ones that are objectified too you know 😦 especially when there are disgusting men that choose to act on their desires
 
Lea101 said:
Periods, disrespect, pain of pregnancy, oh I could go on.
Besides being “allowed” to play around with makeup to hide the tragic mess (face), being a woman sucks! Or a girl, I’m 18, I don’t know.

Quite of a rant, I know. But I didn’t ask to be a woman!! Why can’t I at least be a pretty woman, or a talented one? Does anyone else just wonder why God put them on Earth for?
Click to expand...
Women are absolutely wonderful. Be happy for who your are! So many today are confused with gender where women want to become men. Its normal to worry about physical beauty but dont put too much stock in it, it truly is not important, what matters is your faith, hope, and love.
 
Lily_Bernans said:
Well, unfortunately, you are at an age where it’s hard to be male or female. I teach people your age, and a little older, and most of them aren’t happy with their lives. You aren’t alone, if that’s any solace, and I don’t suppose it is.

I’m thirty-three, and I love being a woman. I would not want to be a man for anything. As the poster above me said, being a man is just as hard as being a woman - just different.

I’m sure you’re lovely, and I’m sure you have talents you just haven’t discovered yet. Just keep trying. God has a special plan for your life, but you have to look for it and be aware.

Good luck and God bless.
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I’ve tried dabbling in different areas, and trust me I suck 😃 i thought I was good in writing fiction and essays, but it turned out that the people around me just sucked, so it looked like I was good at it. I was simply average. I’m only book smart! All of my friends are studying cool stuff while I’m just here studying psychology (well about to in a few weeks), because that’s one of the few courses that doesn’t require any talent :banghead:
I can’t even make eye contact with people without wanting to jump off a cliff (my eyes are just…wrong. I was born with some sort of condition). I’m the epitome of pathetic, it’s actually quite funny
 
I can’t imagine what it would feel like to be a man…

As a woman, you have to realize that the negative aspects of what you deal with on a daily basis are actually blessings.

Your period, as annoying and inconvenient as it may seem means God has given you the gift to create life. Your body is designed to sustain and create a human being. It’s truly wondrous. You’re young still, I assume you haven’t been blessed with a child, but even as a mother, I have a hard time describing just how amazing it feels to have a life grow inside of you. To feel love for something that you haven’t even met yet. To feel the absolute thrill of feeling that life move inside of you. To discover what pure love is the instant that child is born and someone yells “it’s a boy”. To hold that child in that first instant- the pain you have just endured in labour melts away. The bliss you feel, meeting your baby for the first time- seeing hair colour and counting tiny toes and fingers instantly makes you forget your hours of laboring (41 hours for me!). I’d do it all over- even if it meant laboring for longer. My son makes every period- every cramp I’ve ever experienced with it.

You were made just as God intended. You ARE beautiful to Him- as well as to all of those who matter. News flash- there isn’t a woman out there that doesn’t feel ugly sometimes. Not a woman out there that doesn’t feel like there’s something she would change about herself. Society loves to put us in a box (men and women). We are made to feel like if we don’t have the right figure- or the right hair or skin tone- that we need to work to attain it. Instead of trying to conform to what society calls beautiful- we need to learn to love what makes each and every one of us unique. You have traits that some people won’t find attractive- but to the right people- you’ll be perfectly imperfect… and those are truly the only people that matter!

I struggle with my weight- I have for a long time. I think i’m pretty, everyone tells me I am, but I’ve always thought I was fat… even when I wasn’t. I look in the mirror and love my face, when I have makeup on. I love my hair- when it’s cooperating perfectly. When I look in the mirror when dressing- I see curves and I think I look beautiful when I pose myself the right way… but when I see the candid picture my friend took of me- I want to cry! I see my pudgy cheeks and I hate them- but that “pudgy” smile in the picture means I was happy when the picture was taken, that’s infinitely more important!

We all look the way we do for a reason. We were all given very specific and special crosses to bear in this life… and the sooner we can learn to love them, embrace them and deal with them in a healthy way, in a way that honors God- the better off we’ll be.

I read this last night- and it spoke to me:

“Did you ever think that being overweight could be from God to keep you humble? Isn’t being overweight embarrassing? Are you prone to vanity? Well, perhaps God is keeping you this way to protect your soul?”

I’d considered this a while ago on my own- but when I read last night, it smacked me in the face. I don’t think it means God wants me to be fat- because being overweight affects my health and we should strive to be healthy. But when I read this- it made me realize that I am vain… and that is sinful. I want to lose weight, because I want to be beautiful. I want to feel beautiful… but when I do my makeup- and my hair- and get dressed up- do I do it for God? No- I do it for vain reasons. I do it to LOOK better to those around me. It’s a mask. I am covering up what God made- what God thinks is beautiful- to appeal to what society tells me I should be. God made everyone of us perfect- we were all created using a special recipe… and put on earth exactly where he meant us to be. He means for us to use what he has given us to better ourselves and those around us. To look past what we see in the mirror- because our time in these bodies is fleeting. Look inside of yourself and find your beauty.
 
Please, Please, Please. Talk to a competent counselor and a loving priest. Seems like nobody here can get through. There are people who care for you and about you. Please seek help.🙂
 
Lea101 said:
It really doesn’t matter if God thinks I’m beautiful, to be honest. I mean, he is not going to bully me for my looks, alienate me, reject me, etc. Humans do! Objectively speaking, I’m not attractive at all. Unless some guys like the “drugged up animal that has just been punched repeatedly” look 🤷
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Very funny. I have found a good sense of humor in a woman is hard to find.

It took me a LONG time to understand that my “faults” were actually my gifts.

There is a book about Teddy Roosevelt and William H. Taft called The Bully Pulpit. It explains that the weaknesses of Roosevelt’s youth led him to be strong. And the strength of Taft’s youth led him to be…well, a large man who had trouble getting what he wanted out of life.
 
Being short means you get to wear all the cute clothes and the fashionable clothes! I knew a lady once who was a size 2, and she basically got her entire wardrobe by picking through cheap clearance in fancy departments of stores. That wasn’t ever going to happen for me!

Usually I’m not a big fan of the whole “get a makeover” thing, but it does sound like you could use some professional help on your image. A lot of this stuff is just simple tricks of art, but simple tricks do work. Once you learn the principles, you can do it yourself. You might also pick out a short lady whom you think is very well put together, and ask her how she picks out clothes. A lot of women are happy to talk about this stuff and to help.

Since I have a hard head, I didn’t really learn how to dress well in modern clothes until I joined a historical reenactment group. For some reason, it was easier for me to learn how to look good in clothing of another time, because it was fun and there was no social pressure. Once I knew how to look good as a medieval, it was easy to go shopping and find stuff that worked on me as a modern. I’ve heard people say the same about joining Civil War reenactors, etc., so that’s an option!

Petite dressing is its own art, I know that. Since you are short, you probably should have your skirts slightly above the knee. My mom is short and dresses modestly, but that’s her rule. If you want to wear longer skirts, there’s a special way to do it which you can look up. Heels are probably going to be your friend, and you can probably even wear stilettos without killing your toesies. But there are also very good petite pants and other outfits.

You also have to look at your build, as it applies to different parts of your body. Basically, most women try to make their skinny parts look curvy (which is why skinny girls wear ruffles and wide horizontal stripes), and their fat parts look straight and skinny (which is why chubby girls tend to wear thin vertical stripes or solid colors or eye-fooling designs). If you want to emphasize a skinny part over a fat part, you put lighter colors on the skinny parts. There are a lot of other tricks. (There’s actually a supermarket magazine that has a very good monthly feature along these lines. It shows pictures of stars dressing badly and dressing well, and explaining the mistakes and how to fix them. You might not agree with the fashions, but the visual tricks are good.)

Keep everything well-proportioned for you, and wear clothes that you look and feel good about. You don’t have to be a supermodel to be a snappy dresser.

All this stuff is a pain in the butt, but men also do it to some extent. They just don’t talk and obsess about it like we do! They tend to have simpler outfits, so their rules for themselves don’t take as much time. Back in the Middle Ages, men spent a lot more time talking about how they dressed!
 
I recently found out I have what is considered a ‘male’ personality, (INTP) I’m not nearly as emotional or ‘compassionate’ as people expect females to be, people find me rude and arrogant and cold, even when I’m really not. I don’t fit a lot of female stereotypes.

But I would never, ever reject my feminity. I learned how to line my eyes. I learned how to cut my hair. I learned what colors and styles looked GOOD on me, not just what I liked the looks of in the store. I’m definitely happy being a girl. You just have to accept what is, and work around it.

Your period should not be miserable. The healthier you are, the easier it is. Major discomfort is a sign that something is off. Do not hide behind pain killers. I only suffer discomfort on day one, and even that is greatly, greatly ameliorated by red raspberry leaf, magnesium, B-vitamins, and the like. I also take progesterone when I remember. Since it’s a hormonal precursor, your body can make what it needs out of it. Also track your cycle. I use the Clue app on my iPod. It helps to know when it’s coming, and will also let you know if it varies wildly.
 
Now, let’s talk about health.

First off, the cramps thing worries me. If you have super-bad cramps, you might have endometriosis. If you do, you want to start getting treated for it as soon as possible. I hope you are seeing a doctor.

If you just have really really annoying cramps, you might want to look at your diet. About half of women find it helpful to take caffeine to get rid of cramps — but the other half have to stay away from caffeine before and during their periods, because caffeine gives them cramps! So test yourself and see what works better! (Motrin used to have caffeine in it, and I kept taking Motrin and feeling sicker… so I speak from experience!)

One thing that helps most women is to get a fair amount of exercise before your period hits. Just walking a bit every day can make a big difference.

Eating well, drinking enough liquids, getting enough sleep, taking showers, getting exercise, taking vitamins (especially ones that help the skin, nails, and hair) – these will all help you look and feel better. If you have a basically healthy and clean complexion and healthy shiny hair, you will look better. (Even if you also have pimples or such.) If you keep your teeth brushed, you will be healthier all over your body. If you have trouble sleeping, try melatonin. If you’re a little short on sleep already, a shower can really help you get through the day. A lot of this is really basic, but it really does make a difference for your overall wellbeing.

Also, you are still pretty young. A lot of us grow into our faces in our twenties or even our thirties. Some of that is physical, and some of it is self-confidence. Don’t hate yourself.

I know I have posted a wall of text, but I hope some of these ideas have helped. Hugs from someone who’s been there!
 
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