I don’t like some of these answers. You don’t have to change or manipulate your appearance in order to like yourself because , believe it or not, you’ll hate yourself even more afterwards. Why, you may think… Because you won’t match the perfected imagine of yourself that you’ve created!
As for periods and pregnancy…well, yeah, they suck major — , and hopefully your period is light in comparison to others. Mine is short and light so I don’t really have anything to comment here , but I wish I didn’t have it honestly. It’s a nuisance. However, you can avoid pregnancy, so that’s not a worry from my perspective. If you really don’t want to give birth you can simply adopt - it’s the same, regardless of what people say.
Our reproductive systems are much more complex and painful and disgusting because we have giant heads that require a sh-tload of energy to maintain (I’m talking about the actual process of development in the womb ) . It’s sadly what was needed in order to evolve and that’s how we pay for our intellectual abilities. If you ever get the chance, ask God why - because nobody has the answer. Our reality is less fortunate, sadly.
The problems, however, begin when men get the illusive idea that all women absolutely love children/babies and that they would 100% love to get pregnant and accept motherhood in its splendour. Well, sadly for them, that’s 100% wrong. What’s even worse is that you’re perceived as some sort of alien and/or monster if you deny those little underdeveloped humans .
That may not be your problem, but I thought It’d be good to address it.
Again, you can choose here.
You’ve mentioned the fact that you think you’re physically unattractive and you kind of obsess over it. Why is it so important? Do you really have nothing else to think about? I’m not saying it in a mean way , it’s a genuine question. You’re going to study psychology - do you have any idea how much you can discover about the human mind this way? It’s a very fascinating topic. Instead of thinking about your defects , why don’t you study your own way of behaving and reacting to different things? Why don’t you discover the core of the problem? There’s sooo much information out there. You say you don’t have any talents - they aren’t needed to raise yourself intellectually. If you’re the best in your class I’m positive that you ARE intelligent and capable.
Have you read Jose Ortega y Gasset 's studies of love ? I’ve just started reading it and I think it’d help you a lot.
It’s not good for yourself to see the world in such colorless way - I do this too and I’ve observed that I now have a tendency towards nihilism. From my point of view it’s just another step towards greater understanding of the surrounding world , but it may not bring you any good. Just for the record, there’s not a big age difference between us.
The world is generally cruel and unjust - not only for women (in comparison to men, yes , we have it harsher because we can live much more than them but pregnancy can kill us very early - and not only) . We have to give our best in order to succeed , even if that means abandoning femininity and refusing to subject ourselves to the absurdities of society.
Again : stop accepting the superficiality of the world and choose another path. Staring at your own figure in the mirror is not really great. It won’t get you anywhere and you’ll just get more crippling anxiety and low self-esteem.