Does anyone like NFP?

[awantz]

With the many negative NFP threads circulating lately, it makes me wonder…does anyone actually like NFP? The anti-NFP threads are starting to scare me! DH and I will be using NFP after Zack is born and now it’s starting to freak me out! Anyone want to share any positive NFP experiences? Please?

If you are going to breastfeed that can be used to effectivly prevent pregnancy. That is NFP, I think. If it is, I use NFP and like the results thus far. It has been successful for 7 months so far.

 

[luvmykids]

Like the idea of NFP because there’s no question of it being harmful or toxic. I think it takes special people and commitment to make NFP acceptable and workable, but well worth it. We’ve been married almost 50 years, and have two children (another pregnancy ended in miscarriage). So, NFP is effective. However, I think with NFP, the “accidents” are usually a girl. And they say that conception at ovulation usually produces a boy. Also, I’ve heard speculation that babies conceived too distant from ovulation time often are weaker and have health problems.

I think the theories you have heard regarding timing of conception are false. I had 2 “accidents” and they are both boys. The act occured about 5 days prior to ovulation. They are both extremely intelligent, and healthy children!

 

[JaPoe]

My first husband and I stated usung NFP 6 months prior to us getting married, so I would have an idea as to my cycle… I was every 28-32-36, so I could not base my cycle on every 28 days. I was irregular

It was great after really getting comfortable with it, I knew when I ovulated, and I knew when I conceived. My first husband was supportive with this method. We used the Billngs Method from Dr Billings out of Australia I believe?

We were married 16ears and only had 2 children. Never used anyother form. The only draw back I experienced, was we were too safe. I think we missed some days just because we were cautious.

 

[HOPEFUL_IN_UK]

We use the sympto-thermal method, as taught to us by the Couple to Couple League as part of our marriage prep. I am afraid that my husband is not as eager to participate in the charting as I’d like. But, there are a variety of reasons for this, and it’s not because he’s not on board.

I was recently discussing this very thing with some other Catholic women I know and most of us say that we wives end up doing all the work and that puts us in the position of being “sex cop.” We have to turn our husbands down and be “mean” because they’re not following the chart with their own eyes. My husband is like many others in that, while he acknowleges the reasons for NFP, he doesn’t really want to follow the rules. Specifically, he wants to “fool around.” One of the most annoying things about NFP is that many women are really “in the mood” when they’re fertile. It almost feels as if my husband works against me, there. But, he’s not an actual jerk: he doesn’t sulk or try and seduce me in my sleep or some of the other things I have heard some wives complain about.

Anyway, it worked great for getting pregnant right off the bat when we got married. And, once my cycle returned to something regular, it is OK. I do think that the period before the return of fertility is very hard. I’ve always had a problem with scant mucous and it really dried up when I was nursing. My NFP teacher tried to tell me that this was all part of God’s plan, as it meant I was less fertile, but I wasn’t buying it. I ended up weaning my son a bit earlier, just to get things back into a discernable pattern.

 

[manualman]

I’m pressed for time so I apologize if I’m repeating…

For us, its not so much LIKING NFP itself as much as the fact that it allows us to continue to have a healthy marriage even though we don’t believe we should get pregnant right now.

Think of it like healthy eating and excercise. Do you LIKE eating aspargus and caulifower and going to the gym or do you do it because you like the EFFECTS? Personally, I find it more gratifying to sit on the couch watching TV while drinking beer and eating chips and salsa - but it has effects that are bad for me. (much like ABC)

 

[Sure]

Love, love, love this thread!! Charting has been the single biggest blessing to my health. Being of one mind with God in His plans for our family has been the single biggest blessing to our marriage.

NFP changed our mindset from “how to avoid pregnancy” to “How to embrace more children.”

I have to address the following post though. It was this kind of thinking that led to my years of bad choices. It was Church teaching on marriage that helped turn me around in all areas of my life.[emphasis by me.] I used to be a slave to my desires (sexual and otherwise.) I used to think that if I wanted something right now, then it was a good thing. Not so. My husband has this example:

He would love to be playing golf or chess, or going out fishing/camping. He desires those activities 24/7. Does that mean that he should skip work and go out and do what he desires, just because he desires it right at that moment? Fishing is in total harmony with the design of the human person. It is enjoyable and has the potential for feeding his family. However it is not how he earns his living.

What NFP helped teach us in our marriage is a better understanding of our desires and how those desires fit into God’s plan. The thinking that makes for good NFP marriages applies to all aspects of marital life.

A dear friend (non-Catholic) and I were discussing NFP a few years back and she said the exact phrase about ABC. “I can have sex with my husband whenever I desire…” I said, “So can I. The real question is, ‘are my desires in line with God’s plan for my marriage?’”

They divorced last year. She cited sexual problems as one of the reasons.

I think you misunderstand what I wrote. I am not advocating any kind of artificial birth control, but neither am I advocating all NFP all the time. For the majority of couples NFP should (hopefully) be totally unnecessary. God designed it this way, not me. He made man and woman desire each other. He makes them be together. And He brings new life into the world. For many people, Nature will space children 2-3 years apart. NFP is for when Nature cannot do as designed or when there is a serious reason to avoid pregnancy. This is theology of the body 101.

Your fishing example is nice, but it doesn’t contradict anything I said. I don’t advocate shirking one’s responsibilities. NFP is a remedy for a fallen world. Let’s not call the remedy what was intended by Nature.

My point is that NFP is good, but even better is nothing at all. It’s just not something that we need to always control.

NFP is like a cane, they’re great when your legs are weak or your balance isn’t good. Those who use canes will tell you “They’re great! They really help me walk so much better! Everyone should get a cane!” But in reality, everyone should not get a cane. Not everyone needs a cane. Nature didn’t design us to use a cane, but a Benevolent Creator allowed man to invent such a thing so as to correct defects in Nature.

 

[LittleDeb]

I think you misunderstand what I wrote. I am not advocating any kind of artificial birth control, but neither am I advocating all NFP all the time. For the majority of couples NFP should (hopefully) be totally unnecessary. God designed it this way, not me. He made man and woman desire each other. He makes them be together. And He brings new life into the world. For many people, Nature will space children 2-3 years apart. NFP is for when Nature cannot do as designed or when there is a serious reason to avoid pregnancy. This is theology of the body 101.

Your fishing example is nice, but it doesn’t contradict anything I said. I don’t advocate shirking one’s responsibilities. NFP is a remedy for a fallen world. Let’s not call the remedy what was intended by Nature.

My point is that NFP is good, but even better is nothing at all. It’s just not something that we need to always control.

NFP is like a cane, they’re great when your legs are weak or your balance isn’t good. Those who use canes will tell you “They’re great! They really help me walk so much better! Everyone should get a cane!” But in reality, everyone should not get a cane. Not everyone needs a cane. Nature didn’t design us to use a cane, but a Benevolent Creator allowed man to invent such a thing so as to correct defects in Nature.

Thank you for clarifying. I do think that I misinterpreted part of what you wrote from an NFP standpoint.

I do want to reiterate, though, that charting information is helpful to ALL people. Charting our cycles should be as natural as eating healthy food and getting physical checkups. My other point is that abstinence IS natural, good, and healthy for marriage. Even if a couple is infertile due to breast-feeding or menopause, periodic abstinence can be very marriage building. As Scripture says, it needs to be by mutual consent and the time away spent in prayer.

I think that what we both agree with is the phrase I say here often, “Deliberate abstinence during fertility should only be practiced for serious reason.” That is how I am reading your analogy about canes. One should only walk with canes if absolutely necessary. One shouldn’t use a cane just because he is too lazy to walk without it.

But still, regardless of the presence or absence of fertility sometimes ‘right now’ is not when God wants us to be united as a married couple. When God wants us to be together is the goal. I think your point is that if we are all working to live the will of God, then deliberate abstinence becomes unnecessary. I do agree with you. But my main point is that a couple can be living away from the will of God just because they “feel like” uniting right now.

I still think we disagree on charting. I think charting is the best thing for all women. Understanding our bodies using the signs God gave us is a true gift. It is only the use of that information that becomes NFP.

Thanks for the clarification and may God bless us all to a true openness to all life.

 

[agapewolf]

Charting has helped me and my doc diagnose several conditions (and fix) that would not have been found otherwise.