Does God Want Me To Be Alone

[fin]

It is up to us, but the thing is in order to be in a romantic relationship or marriage, both parties should like or agree to be together. You can choose as many people as you want., but if they do not like you back, then nothing will happen, no matter how badly you want it. Vice versa too, the people who like you but you do not feel the same way.

 

[fin]

Look, all I can say is, if you want to be single, that is fine! You have the free will. Not everyone wants to be married, and that is okay.

The difficulty is when you want to be married and think that is your vocation, but then no relationship.

Everyone says it is fine to be single. Of course it is, especially if that is what you want…but there is the cross of being single when the desire to be a gift of self in a romantic manner keeps rising to the surface. What is the point of having a good and normal and natural and legitimate desire when it is not going to be fulfilled?

To top it all off, all of us are talking here online because we exist. We exist because somehow along the line, two people came together and started a family, with you being a result or one of the results.

I am thankful to be alive and to exist. It was strange, but I was five years old and on the first floor of our house that I suddenly had this realization that I am alive and exist, that I am a person. At five years old. It was a weird feeling and I remember it to this day.

And I want to participate in cocreation, in helping souls come into existence. Anx I mean in a bodily manner, not just spiritual motherhood. That is not going to happen when one is single or maybe with a condition of infertility or something, and is indeed a cross that most people do not want to talk about.

 

[DeniseNY]

I’m not quite sure. I am in my late 40s and I’m still single. The relationships I’ve had have all bombed out. But I don’t know if that’s because it’s God’s will for me to be single or because I was living my life outside of the faith and not discerning what God wanted for me in terms of relationships. Long story short: I think I was choosing the wrong men.

 

[Lara]

I just don’t know how involved God is in a person’s choice to be single or get married. If you can’t find a mate, is that because God didn’t put one in front of you? I think very few people who date really date enough people. The whole system of dating isn’t very good. It’s all very random. And compound that with the fact that many people don’t know themselves, or make decisions that contradict their needs.

 

[SacredHeartBassist]

You may be called to be alone but none of us are called to be lonely.

 

[Telstar]

In fact, most of my life I have been alone, except for my marriage, where actually I was alone in that too.

Apparently, God did not intend for you to be alone, since you were already married before. If you really are Roman Catholic (as your profile says) and divorced, then you probably shouldn’t be looking to find someone else, anyway. Unless your spouse died, or your marriage was already annulled, or you’re planning to get it annulled in the future, then you cannot be married in the Church, again. So, I’m just a bit confused as to why you would even be looking to find another relationship, because the Church doesn’t recognize a civil divorce, if that is the case.

There have been many holy people who were never ‘called’, either to the religious life, or to the priestly life, that still had very long and happy lives. They filled their days with a lot of hard work and prayer, and in doing good things for their friends and family. Or, they spent time helping their neighbors, or serving in their Churches in some way, or finding any other way to give of themselves to serve others.

We’re only really ‘alone’ if we choose to be alone. There are lots of ways to spend time with other people. Maybe you could spend some time visiting old folks in a nursing home, or working in a soup kitchen or a food pantry, and just talk with other people. You’d most likely be helping someone else to deal with their loneliness, too.

 

[sheepovrep]

Happiness comes from within. Find peace with what you have, and you will find a strong partner willing to work with you. If you always want more, then you will never have it, because as soon as you get it you will need more yet again.

 

[kill051]

Thank you.

 

[Nap66]

Apparently, God did not intend for you to be alone, since you were already married before. If you really are Roman Catholic (as your profile says) and divorced, then you probably shouldn’t be looking to find someone else, anyway. Unless your spouse died, or your marriage was already annulled, or you’re planning to get it annulled in the future, then you cannot be married in the Church, again. So, I’m just a bit confused as to why you would even be looking to find another relationship, because the Church doesn’t recognize a civil divorce, if that is the case.

Um. Why are you frowning at me? In fact my marriage was annulled if you want to know. So yes I can marry in the church, thank you for asking. As I stated before, in my marriage, I was alone. There was no partnership, nothing. Just two people physically together in the same house. That’s not what God or I consider a marriage, which is why it was annulled.

Oh, another thing, why do people question people’s profiles? I never do that. If someone tells me they are Roman Catholic, then they are. What is this need to tell people “I doubt you’re what you say you are in your profile?” Sad really.

 

[Telstar]

Um. Why are you frowning at me? In fact my marriage was annulled if you want to know. So yes I can marry in the church, thank you for asking. As I stated before, in my marriage, I was alone. There was no partnership, nothing. Just two people physically together in the same house. That’s not what God or I consider a marriage, which is why it was annulled.

Oh, another thing, why do people question people’s profiles? I never do that. If someone tells me they are Roman Catholic, then they are. What is this need to tell people “I doubt you’re what you say you are in your profile?” Sad really.

I’m sorry, but that emoticon is not a frown at all. If you hover over it with your mouse, you’ll see that it says “confused”, not “frowning”. I used that one because I was very confused by that part of your question. That’s when I started to get suspicious, and looked at your profile. I should have just shut my yap and let it go. <<<<< “frowning”

I sincerely apologize. I really didn’t mean to pry, but when you said you were already married, I guess I did what Felix Unger warned me never to do, many years ago. I “assumed”. (In case you’re unfamiliar with the reference, just google Felix Unger and “assume” on youtube. I hope it’s, at least, worth a chuckle.)

You might be a lot more trusting of what people put in their forum profiles than I am. I don’t know how long you’ve been posting on internet forums, but after having spent over 20 years on internet forums, including many years on this one, I know that there are many, many people who make claims to be something or someone in their profiles, but they’re really not. They do it to fool other people on the forum into thinking they’re something they’re not. It really is sad, but I’ve gotten a bit jaded over the years because of that fact.

On top of all that, I ‘thought’ (I won’t even mention what my Dad used to say about that) I had already read all of the other posts in this thread, before I posted. However, I realized a bit too late that I had actually missed most of them. How??? I have no excuse for that one, other than my thinking that clicking links under my forum avatar sends me to the first new post that I haven’t already read. Apparently, that’s not really how it works. It’s a lot different than the old format that was used when I left a couple of years ago. So, I’m still trying to get used to this whole new format. It really is hard to teach an ‘old dog’ new tricks. Mea culpa.

 

[Vico]

…
God said it was not good for man to be alone in Genesis, but then there are many, many, people who are alone.

In the beginning it was not good for man to be alone, and Adam and Eve became two in one flesh. But in general it is not necessary.

1 Cor 7

33 But he that is with a wife, is solicitous for the things of the world, how he may please his wife: and he is divided.34 And the unmarried woman and the virgin thinketh on the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit. But she that is married thinketh on the things of the world, how she may please her husband. 35 And this I speak for your profit: not to cast a snare upon you; but for that which is decent, and which may give you power to attend upon the Lord, without impediment.

 

[Sedona]

I would offer the idea that what matters is whether or not you want to be alone. If there is a God, he or she didn’t make you to be a puppet. My personal opinion is that it makes all the sense in the world for you to make your own decision with regard to the issue as to what would make your life full and meaningful. From there, it would be a matter of finding what the obstacles are to achieving what you need to make that happen, and seeing if you can remove them.

All t he best

 

[Greenfields]

Me too Many similarities but am faced with second divorce and petitioning.I do have children but apart from mother don’t really know what my vocation is.
Alone and lonely.Alone because children are mostly leading their own lives now. Interesting times.

 

[Norseman82]

God said it was not good for man to be alone in Genesis,

I think you answered your own question.

Another option: I don’t know the details of your marriage, divorce, and annulment circumstances, and I’m not asking, but according to 1 Cor. 7:11, there always is the option of reconciling with your ex-spouse.

 

[Nap66]

You might be a lot more trusting of what people put in their forum profiles than I am. I don’t know how long you’ve been posting on internet forums, but after having spent over 20 years on internet forums, including many years on this one, I know that there are many, many people who make claims to be something or someone in their profiles, but they’re really not. They do it to fool other people on the forum into thinking they’re something they’re not. It really is sad, but I’ve gotten a bit jaded over the years because of that fact.

No problem. All is good! I’ve been posting since Usenet days (no one remembers Usenet I’m sure). One thing I have learned is that if people want to lie and pretend to be someone they are not, I can’t change it. That is their problem and they will reap what they are sowing. I like to just read posts and comment on interesting discussions. I never try to “catch” people at things, because it’s not my concern. I don’t even “like” people’s posts because I just can’t handle the whole “validation/social media” thing.

Hey, that’s probably why I’m alone!

 

[Nap66]

Another option: I don’t know the details of your marriage, divorce, and annulment circumstances, and I’m not asking, but according to 1 Cor. 7:11, there always is the option of reconciling with your ex-spouse.

That is true. But that would have to be a miracle from God. The ex-spouse has no belief in God and that is not the marriage I want to be in again. I’ve learned that you can’t bring people to God, only God can do that. God bless those of you who are in marriages with atheists/agnostics, I don’t know how you do it.

 

[randirhoades]

My Father’s best friend committed suicide because he was alone and hated feeling lonely as I do. Don’t get me wrong, I like my space but being isolated, no family or friends come visit me, a disabled person, is taking a toll on my mind.

If this is what God wants me to do, be alone for the rest of my life, I do not like it. And I am not happy nor revel in it.

I don’t have a social circle or anything. I don’t own a car where I could visit and be in the company of others. Day after day of solitude is getting to me. If this is my vocation in life, I don’t want it. I am a social person and this is (again) getting to me.

I didn’t know God didn’t promise us a spouse. Yet, I believe it. Still, I don’t think He wanted us to feel so isolated that we take our own lives.

All I know is I hate being alone, lonely, isolated, and reclusive.

God Bless you.

 

[Bluebright]

Firstly, there are a few vocations: marriage and religious life are just two… single life and lay third order are another two.

So those may be options too. Secondly it sounds like you are not able to choose marriage as you have already been there? If you have been or are married and are separated you cant have a second go unless you can get an annulment. Anyway single life is and can be very fulfilling and happy and rewarding. Discerning a vocation takes a lot of patience and prayer. God may still call you to a vocation as a lay person, say a member of a third order or a secular institute. Some take only single people and others take both married and single people. We all have a call to holiness however, so either way you can live a holy life. Single life is not lonely or boring and should revolve around God as any life should. You can have friends and should have a social life. It would be good to do some volunteer work through your parish and serve God how He directs you. He doesnt mean you to be alone in most cases yes, but this doesnt have to mean a union with a woman in marriage, it could mean you share your talents with your neighbour by loving them and helping everyone have a better quality life. Try offering your time in your parish and see which things suit you, God will lead you towards the things He wants for you and you’ll find they suit you perfectly and you’ll meet people. Just trust Him to show you what He has in store for you.

 

[Lara]

You have to work at removing the obstacles to friendship. If you don’t have a car, find a city where you have a little room in somebody’s house and can use public transit. How about calling your family and explaining the problem?

 

[Mboo]

all that happens is the will of God, everything! in the other hand, God asks us to do what he commands or advises and not necessarily to do what he wants.
So God may want your child to be sick, but he commands you to look after your child, So our concern should not be to know the will of good pleasure from God, but what he expects from us, and what he expects of us is that we do not sin and that we seek perfection. The rest is left to our free will.
Concerning marriage and celibacy, God through his apostle and the teaching of the Church advises us to remain single. According to the Apostle of the nations, marriage should only be considered if celibacy puts us in a habitual situation of sin, I think this advice concerns those who live in a marital way. But for those who commit habitual sins of inherently messy lust, marriage can not be a solution for them