Does God want me to be more assertive

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She’s trying to bait you. Don’t fall for that trap.

Are you working in a mostly female environment?

I noticed there is a difference between a mostly male environment and a mostly female environment.

The dynamic is different.
 
No this woman is very different. I’ve expressed a bit of her behavior on this thread that is directed at only me, but thank you for your (name removed by moderator)ut.
 
It’s about half but it’s interesting i’ve often thought she’s trying to get at me, she knows she can grunt past me and mutter under her breath about me right next to where I sit and I won’t say anything. ( others here also agree to ignore it) Problem is SHE MUST LOVE THAT i don’t say anything since it makes her do it more often.
 
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Does she involve others in her little games?

I swear some people never progress past high school.

I have encountered a woman like that when I worked as a temp at a hospital. She tried to do the same thing to me. What really helped me was cultivating an attitude of indifference. There came a time when I truly didn’t care what she thought or did. I had more important things to worry about than her.

If that woman keeps on going with her silly games, she’s obviously the one with the problem.
 
That’s the attitude of indifference that I WANT, I just don’t know HOW exactly to be indifferent when my immediate default emotion upon seeing or hearing her is not indifference but of fear (of her nasty looks and response if I have to talk to her).
 
For me, it’s fake it until you make it.

Remind yourself that in the hierarchy of what you care about, God comes first.

After reminding yourself of this pray, for yourself first and then for her.
 
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Thank you Sarcelle, I usually say “Lord please let the Holy Spirit work in her, may she love and seek you”. I don’t really know what else to say and I force myself to pray for her but when I do say that I mean it, when I pray that she’s at peace and that goes well with her my flesh reacts at the dishonesty so I will stick with praying that the Holy Spirit work in both of us.
As an aside, I’ve been faking it for 3 years and am waiting for the day i’ll snap and not care anything about her like someone said before! All this waiting for her to retire will just make her stay many more years with my luck. Thank you
 
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Pray for yourself too, pray to be able to rise above that pettiness.

What really, really helped was praying daily, either the rosary or the Chaplet of Divine Mercy. We all need supernatural help.

These prayers are quite powerful.

I’m praying for you too. I know how it’s like to work with someone like her. On the bright side, you only have to work with her, not live with her.
 
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Thank the Lord! And thank you so much for your wonderful advice. The next time she cuts her eyes at me or is nasty when I ask her a work related question I will remain very serious and professional and stern but I will fight very hard not to show fear in my eyes like I’m sure she’s used to seeing.
 
While dealing with her, remind yourself mentally that it’s all about the work and focus on the work.

Do not focus on anything else.

It gets easier with practice.
 
Thank you, my husband said the same thing. Unfortunately my job entails that she and I communicate on a daily basis unlike some other coworkers that you only see every so often.
 
I do not mean to be argumentative but I think deep Christian spirituality would call for meekness. Assertiveness would therefore conflicts with it and also it tends to put the self into higher importance.

When are called to die to the self, which is a prerequisite for a disciple, it demands for a decrease in us and an increase in Jesus.

Assertiveness is valid when the purpose is for/towards Jesus especially if it involves belief and faith. Sometimes we can use assertiveness as a camouflage to justify our selfishness, which is why it is not often encouraged and taught. Selfishness is to be avoided and selflessness preferred.
 
Thank you Reuben, I understand what your saying. But in this case, because I lack Gods truth in me in that I am a worthy child and I keep allowing this woman to diminish my worth… especially with God knowing I’ve tried for His sake to be meek and gone home in tears and ignoring my family because I’m dealing with emotional issues…I think he’s ok with trying to heal by focusing on my worth in His eyes and practicing shaking the dust off of my feet and not giving my pearls (my heart, my hope, my smile) to swine who trampled on me constantly and diminish me.

Were I healthier mentally and emotionally, He may expect something more from what I have been “given” (in my emotional and mental reserve) so He must know what I’m doing now is my “all” in tying to heal before battling in a different way, in perhaps the way you described at a future time.
 
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I can see positiveness in your post. Please do take care. God bless you.
 
I disagree.

Sometimes assertiveness is necessary.

One example is a woman who is being pressured by her boyfriend to have sex with him. She had every right to refuse especially if it goes against her moral code. Being meek and acquiescing to his demands is not virtuous in any way.

We need discernment to know when to act with meekness or to act with assertiveness. The Church on earth is called the Church Militant not the Church of Meekness.
 
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LoveTherese said:
especially with God knowing I’ve tried for His sake to be meek and gone home in tears and ignoring my family because I’m dealing with emotional issues…
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I don’t know much, but I know God doesn’t want this. Your family is your first vocation.

If I catch the gist of your situation correctly, you’ve been dealing with this for three (or more) years. In my experience, that’s God trying to tell you something. Have you thought to ask Him what he’s trying to say?

If I were in your situation, I would thank God for being so persistent & patient. Thank Him for challenging you, helping you grow in the spirit. Then ask Him to forgive you for not being able to “hear” what he’s saying.

I don’t think being assertive is a bad thing. I also don’t think it is the opposite of being meek. One doesn’t need to be offensive to be assertive.
 
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LoveTherese said:
I was thinking when she approaches me I should put on a stoic serious professional face from now on (just with her) and not the usual friendly smile I offer that never gets returned or worse. Is that a good idea?
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I think this is a good idea. Always smiling at someone who is rude to you must feel like weakness, If you are calm and serious, you will feel more professional.
Does she still mutter near you? I would probably say “Excuse me, did you say something?” Get her to speak up or admit she’s talking to herself. (Keeping in mind she may have some dementia going on.)

I believe we can be assertive and practice humility at the same time. You are deserving of respect as a child of God. Being persecuted for your faith is one thing. Being picked on by a bully is another.
 
I watched the part of the video you requested. I have to say I agree. it was motivating. You know, some of us need a personal coach at home like that.To help us toughen up. Ive been guilty of quitting jobs too easily. But as I’ve grown a little in my faith, I can see that if we share our suffering, small or big, with Jesus Christ, it does somehow make it a lot more tolerable. it gives our suffering meaning too.
But some of us are just not made tough enough. And have mental health issues as well. I’m not making excuses. I’m just saying that, all of us have different levels of toughness. If we are too tough, we lose the useful part of us as well, such as sensitivity and empathy for others.
You might need to deiced whether this job suits you. if it is absolutely too tough, move on. You might find something better.
 
Mary888 said:
These life-changing gurus are usually guilt tripping you into following their ideas and thus buy their stuff. They pretend to be empathic and then they show you what is wrong with you . You see what they are doing? Their whole discourse is conducted so that you end up feeling weak and inadequate and needing help even if, from what you describe, you are in average normal life. Of course you cannot always talk back and be sure of what you want. Sometimes most us are uncertain, impossible and withdrawn. This does not mean there is anything wrong with you. Not everyone gets a great workplace and not everyone can just quit and get a new life. These gurus always offer false answers that can happen only in films.
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You are probably right. I only watched the minute or two that the OP requested we see. But I have to say, that small segment, was very useful advice in my opinion. Some of us need our butt kicked like that.
 
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