Does interest in sex reduce spirituality?

[EasterJoy]

I tend to agree with the general premise here. I do wonder if we can ever truly approximate what God meant sex to be…Not since Adam and Eve have we really been free and able to love like God loves us. Our world is filled with perversions. Do any of us really understand what “holy sex” even is? I know I don’t. I know I will never in this life have that experience. My chances were spoiled before I was even aware of what sex was, really. I don’t know how to tell my sons about this, either. I have zero knowledge to pass on. All I can tell them is to stay pure and chaste. I know that what I did were all the wrong things.

If I ever were widowed I would happily take a vow of chastity for the rest of my life.

OK, but this is something that even a virgin struggles with: that is, the transformation of human love and human desires in the default form we bring into the world into the loves and desires of a person remade after Christ. All our desires have to be remade like that.

 

[KnitNut]

The church teaches that fasting - which can include sex- increases the life of the spirit. Eastern orthodox for example abstain from sexual relations during Lent as a part of their fasting. Obviously there is a benefit to that. I also have experienced that less focus on sex makes it easier for me to focus on prayer.

Actually it’s part of all our fasting periods - every week, not just during Great Lent. And I agree, it helps maintain a proper spiritual focus. It seems in society we’ve made sex another idol to worship…and even within marriage, it can be a distraction from spiritual growth and holiness.

 

[Robert_Sock]

Ironic that this thread is in the “Family Life” subforum.

I didn’t put it here, the mods moved it here after I suggested it belong in ‘Spirituality’.

 

[Byrnwiga]

Actually it’s part of all our fasting periods - every week, not just during Great Lent. And I agree, it helps maintain a proper spiritual focus. It seems in society we’ve made sex another idol to worship…and even within marriage, it can be a distraction from spiritual growth and holiness.

As an aside: would a Roman Catholic be allowed to follow the Easter Orthodox example of abstention during fasting periods?

-Byrnwiga

 

[thewanderer]

As an aside: would a Roman Catholic be allowed to follow the Easter Orthodox example of abstention during fasting periods?

-Byrnwiga

Yes, so long as both spouses agree to it and neither is being pressured by the other to abstain.

 

[Byrnwiga]

Yes, so long as both spouses agree to it and neither is being pressured by the other to abstain.

So they get the beautiful liturgies and that? Oh well…

-Byrnwiga

 

[thewanderer]

So they get the beautiful liturgies and that? Oh well…

-Byrnwiga

I’m confused My reply was positive, of course it is allowed, the only caveat is that they must decide this as a couple, it cannot be a unilateral decision by one spouse forced onto the other. Which is kind of to be expected, the Church has always taught that you give up your rights over your own body to your spouse when you marry, because of this you can’t just have one spouse force abstinance on the other, but it is perfectly fine to discuss it with your spouse and encourage them to be open to trying this as a sacrifice for enriching your spiritual life, just no forcing or manipulating, which are never ok anyway.

 

[Byrnwiga]

I’m confused My reply was positive, of course it is allowed, the only caveat is that they must decide this as a couple, it cannot be a unilateral decision by one spouse forced onto the other. Which is kind of to be expected, the Church has always taught that you give up your rights over your own body to your spouse when you marry, because of this you can’t just have one spouse force abstinance on the other, but it is perfectly fine to discuss it with your spouse and encourage them to be open to trying this as a sacrifice for enriching your spiritual life, just no forcing or manipulating, which are never ok anyway.

Right, I understand. I was speaking from the perspective of the decision for reduced frequency being required (after a fashion) by Eastern Orthodox practice as opposed to a potentially non-existent/temporary decision made between the couple (in Roman Catholic practice). In Eastern Orthodoxy I believe there are about 45-50 days on which relations are permissible. So in a sense, the decision that some may wish to make unilaterally in Roman Catholicism is the de facto “decision” in Eastern Orthodoxy.

-Byrnwiga

 

[Contra_Mundum_1]

Actually it’s part of all our fasting periods - every week, not just during Great Lent. And I agree, it helps maintain a proper spiritual focus. It seems in society we’ve made sex another idol to worship…and even within marriage, it can be a distraction from spiritual growth and holiness.

I think this is a great point.

There is so much pressure to constantly discuss sex. For example with NFP: the couple constantly need to communicate about the woman’s cycle, to understand what is going on and to agree when they can have sex, etc. I find this absolutely bothersome. The last thing I want to do is constantly talk about it with my husband. Sure, sex is important in marriage but I refuse to make an idol out of it.

 

[tomarin]

I think the OP was brave enough to go looking for an answer in a place that might enlarge his thinking. If you’re looking for a place people with experience who have realized any spiritual profit that came to them intrinsically connected to their sex drive, this is it!

I think that points something out: It is vitally important to keep an interest in sex in the context the Church keeps it. You can’t consider the spiritual value of sex without considering the spiritual value of being a wife and a mother or a husband and father. That is the context of sex. Sex and a total openness to the demands of marriage and family go together. If the two are separated, then you’re no longer considering sex in its appropriate spiritual context. Sex only finds its spiritual meaning within the context of the greater whole to which it belongs.

Be that as it may, it is an irrefutable point that if everyone followed Robert Sock’s advice and/or example, there would be no “family life.”

His point of view seems more in keeping with Catharism than Catholicism, that is, the material world including our natural attraction to people of the opposite sex is corrupted to the point that it’s spiritually polluting and must be rejected. Cathars also believed that food and drink were distractions from spirituality so their priests would starve themselves to death as the ultimate act of spiritual purification. Gluttony is bad yes but interest in food and drink in moderation is necessary to life.