Does it really matter what you wear?

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turboEDvo:
I was simply carrying your example with th 55-yo thing. I don’t even know how you dress, I definitely haven’t seen you before (unless maybe you live in LA, and we happened to meet at some time). If you want to dress how you do, go ahead, but it sounds like you are acknowledging the fact that you dress along the lines of “sluts” as you called them. That’s your choice, but it seems to me that you know that your clothes talk. I definitely don’t think that your skirts and dresses must be full-length to be considered modest. I’m saying that you can look good without looking slutty.

I’ll be honest, I want my clothes to speak to people. I want them to say, “Here is a modest, intelligent young man who cares about his appearance but doesn’t feel the need to flaunt his physical features because he has confidence and doesn’t need validation from strangers. Here is a generally good kid.”

And as for going with the flow, I neither want nor need to be noticed by my clothing. I happen to know that having a less-than-common appearance (I have the epitome of red hair), for better or worse, gets you noticed. I’ll do the talking, not my t-shirt, thanks. I’d say I’m pretty much unconcerned with modern fashion. I buy clothes that look good on me, and I don’t need the media to tell me how to dress myself in the morning. I generally dress in a manner that won’t make people turn around and stare when I walk into church every day. It’s disrespectful to God, and, unless I’m doing some sports activity or working on my car or painting, I choose to wear clothes that won’t make me feel underdressed for most daily activities (Mass, friends, teachers, etc.). On another end, out of respect for my future spouse, I would prefer to maintain a modest appearance, and keep as much of me as possible for her. It’s a matter of consideration for those around me and God, as well as myself.

Eamon
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I should’ve been more specific…I don’t dress like a “slut”. I meant was, I dress in a way that could lead me to being one but don’t go that far. Make sense? But I don’t dress just to get people to notice…I dress the way I do because it feels like me. Even if I was on a deserted island all by myself, I would still dress the way I do, whether people see me or not. It just makes me feel good and lets me know who the heck I am! It’s my “taste” oif clothes and what I prefer to wear.
👍

But I’ll admit that when I dress too “me”, I get lots of looks and sometimes I wish I didn’t dress in that way but I did because, like I said ,not to make guys notice me but it’s just ME! I am me!
 
Women should wear skirts that go under the knee[and cover the knee when sitting], which are not see through and et cetera.
The top should have sleeves till your elbow, go up to almost the neck, and should not be tightfitting or see through.
 
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katolik:
Women should wear skirts that go under the knee[and cover the knee when sitting], which are not see through and et cetera.
The top should have sleeves till your elbow, go up to almost the neck, and should not be tightfitting or see through.
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Well, I wear a nice pair of jeans and a sweater when I go to Mass on Saturday nights. That’s okay, right? But if I go on a Sunday, I’ll have to dress in a way that I wouldn’t want to. Right?
 
Paris Blues:
I should’ve been more specific…I don’t dress like a “slut”. I meant was, I dress in a way that could lead me to being one but don’t go that far. Make sense? But I don’t dress just to get people to notice…I dress the way I do because it feels like me. But I’ll admit that when I dress too “me”, I get lots of looks and sometimes I wish I didn’t dress in that way but I did because, like I said ,not to make guys notice me but it’s just ME! I am me!
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Could you dress so that when people looked at you, they saw our Blessed Lady?

Sue
 
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Teresita:
Could you dress so that when people looked at you, they saw our Blessed Lady?

Sue
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No because I don’t wear the cover like thing over my head…or wear the clothes people did back then. 😛

I know…I’m just kidding. I can’t answer that question though when people look at me, they just think, well, she’s young and dresses like that. It’s the norm.
 
Guys, guys… Perhaps you will disagree with me, but I don’t see all that much difference between the beach and the street - at least if we are talking about summer, seaside towns etc. If a guy would lust because of seeing a halter on the street, wouldn’t he on the beach, as well? Where I see potential problem is that a person wearing less than most people around will tend to catch attention. Perverts will assume the person is “accessible”, bigots will scream and cover their eyes and so on. Jerks like myself will complain about the corruption of today’s youth (though it would take more than a halter top in my case) or simply shrug, depending on the day… whatever.

Much depends on the style of it, rather than exactly how much it covers (e.g. by design, clingy stuff covers a lot). If it’s made after the manner of a hooker’s work clothes and the girl behaves like Miss Liberated, there’s a problem. But if it’s merely for comfort and because of the heat, I doubt the girl is sending the wrong vibes. It would have to be something really minimalistic to have that effect without the girl herself behaving provocatively. Sleeveless does seem more proper than a halter for street walk thab a halter, and much more so in a large city and not a seaside town, but it still depends on the girl and the circumstances. Note: I live thousands of miles away from where you live, so I can’t really know your circumstances and your exact modest clothing standards, so I’m not totally reliable on this one. Of course, some greater decorum is always due mass.

I would say, ask yourself if you would like your parents or indeed the Lord Jesus to see you dressed like that, consider the local customs (but by no means wear less than you otherwise would) and your own safety (you might even want to wear something baggy and concealing if there’s a lot of guys of unidentified morality around). But I’m the last person qualified to give moral guidance. I’m just talking logics and common sense here. You might wish to talk to a nun. Perhaps not the oldest and most conservative one around, but not an overly modern one, either. At least that’s what I would probably do if I were a girl.

Also keep in mind that sometimes a layer of clothing works better than bare skin when the sun is overdoing. There’s a reason why tropical shirts were invented. I always use one and a short sleeve one rather than a sleeveless one - better protection and all. Just 100% cotton and no plastic. And they look classy on girls. Speaking of classy things, hugging lycra or stretchy cloth bottoms definitely aren’t so. They aren’t even sexy contrary to what girls tend to thing. That stuff looks sloppy. Shorts are way superior. And they don’t have to be boring blue jeans cut-offs. Why don’t get yourself a safari outfit? It’s modest, looks classy and works great against sun and heat. And it’s not like you’re going to come across many girls wearing anything similar. 😉

Girls wearing classy things attract classy guys. Those who are in for just the body will take a pass. It’s a good filter. Don’t forget about the crucifix and don’t miss an opportunity to slip a mention that you’re Catholic. You’ll be rid of another wave of guys you don’t really want to know better. They will move on to girls who follow the cheap “grin and bare it” routine.

Side comment: Guys who wear sleeveless shirts tend to look as if they were looking out for other guys. 😃
 
Paris Blues:
Well, I wear a nice pair of jeans and a sweater when I go to Mass on Saturday nights. That’s okay, right? But if I go on a Sunday, I’ll have to dress in a way that I wouldn’t want to. Right?
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Let me give you a bit of insight on me – I’m and adult convert to the RCC, and – yes I did turn 40 this year. I work in a very professional uptight business world and push the limits on every dress code they have. I have 2 tattoos – the second being a little over a year old… my hair has been blue, purple, shaved, and is now a cropped mod chunky look. I’m not exactly vanilla J

I also teach CCD, and do that in jeans/yoga pants most of the time (cannot keep up with 5th graders in anything impractical or dressy). My son wears jeans to every Mass, they are clean without tears, but are the baggier style (NOT hanging off of him). My son just cut his long curly dark hair, of his own choice – and I was a bit sad.

That being said, if you were to want to visit St. Peter’s in Rome as a tourist, on vacation, during the blazing hot Italian Summer – they have a DRESS CODE. When my mom and sister went to see the exhibit of the Shroud of Turin in Italy (again, as tourists – they are NOT Catholic) – in the hot Italian summer, they stood outside in line for a long long time, and saw others in that line get turned away for not wearing sleeves on their shirts or having on shorts. How much more should we show respect to the Sacrifice of Mass?

Being Catholic is not about being fashionable or about doing what feels good – it is very much about being obedient and humble. For a minute consider that if your Parish enforced a dress code and said no jeans, you would not go to Mass? I think you would wear sackcloth and ashes if it meant you could fully participate in Holy Communion. So, cover your arms for an hour in Mass. If a short sleeve summer top is THAT uncomfortable, offer it up as a sacrifice for the souls in purgatory! This is coming from a woman who has been a rebel her entire life J

Lastly - If all you owned were jeans and halter tops, then sure, wear them to Mass with a thankful heart. Since you are blessed with a full wardrobe - again, it is about humility!
 
When I was in highschool my religion teacher gave us all a scapular and a priest came and blessed them.

A fellow classmate asked him what if you wear clothes that shows your scapular. He said you shouldnt be ashamed of people seeing it first of all and he said and if you can see it maybe you arent dressing modestly enough.

So maybe apply that to how you dress in church.

I am 22 years old, and I dress modestly in church and still manage to be in style. You dont have to wear halter tops or clothes of that nature to look in style in church.

Just my opinion,
Kerri
 
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km112482:
I am 22 years old, and I dress modestly in church and still manage to be in style. You dont have to wear halter tops or clothes of that nature to look in style in church.

Just my opinion,
Kerri
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In the hot summer time, I wear sometimes halter tops, tank tops that criss cross in back, sleevless, etc. on a regular basis. Even to church (well, back then I was at a Protestant church) except halter tops. It was casual (yes, even the Presbyterian church had Saturday night services!).

The Parish I attend now tends to be casual Sat. nights and most people around me wear jeans, etc. some wear nicer, dressier clothes for that’s what they prefer. I wear what I feel most comfortable in (sweater, nice jeans, etc. under my courdoroy jacket if I’m freezing cold). One time it was almost 60 degrees and I went to church wearing a sleeveless shirt but only under my jacket. Isn’t that acceptable since my arms weren’t showing? Now in the summertime, I would wear a tank top, sleeveless (but not a halter top) to Mass but since people here say I shouldn’t I’m gonna have to go buy more short sleeve shirts!

Besides, in my own opinion, God looks at your heart. My parents used to say to me, it doesn’t matter EXACTLY what you wear to church, as long as it’s acceptable enough and you’re still worshipping.
 
I should’ve been more specific…I don’t dress like a “slut”. I meant was, I dress in a way that could lead me to being one but don’t go that far. Make sense? But I don’t dress just to get people to notice…I dress the way I do because it feels like me. Even if I was on a deserted island all by myself, I would still dress the way I do, whether people see me or not. It just makes me feel good and lets me know who the heck I am! It’s my “taste” oif clothes and what I prefer to wear.
👍
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But I’ll admit that when I dress too “me”, I get lots of looks and sometimes I wish I didn’t dress in that way but I did because, like I said ,not to make guys notice me but it’s just ME! I am me!
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I read this and see, "I, I, I, me, me, me. It’s ALL about you, huh?
Take it from a 55 plus year old woman who also used to be very young, use your common sense! When I was 18, I still dressed for Church as though it was a very special occasion - which it was, is now and will always be. Would you wear your jeans, halter top, etc. to a job interview? If you did, I certainly would not hire you.
It’s called respect. Respect for your Creator. Worship is NOT about YOU feeling like YOU and what YOU prefer.
And, just for the record, you want to talk hot weather and feeling hot? I live in Phoenix where it is over 100 degrees for 6 months out of the year. I STILL wear a skirt, or dress with sleeves when I go to Mass. Even in 115 degree weather.
SHEESE!! :rolleyes:
 
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catsrus:
I read this and see, "I, I, I, me, me, me. It’s ALL about you, huh?
Take it from a 55 plus year old woman who also used to be very young, use your common sense! When I was 18, I still dressed for Church as though it was a very special occasion - which it was, is now and will always be. Would you wear your jeans, halter top, etc. to a job interview? If you did, I certainly would not hire you.
It’s called respect. Respect for your Creator. Worship is NOT about YOU feeling like YOU and what YOU prefer.
And, just for the record, you want to talk hot weather and feeling hot? I live in Phoenix where it is over 100 degrees for 6 months out of the year. I STILL wear a skirt, or dress with sleeves when I go to Mass. Even in 115 degree weather.
SHEESE!! :rolleyes:
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Geez woman! You don’t have to perhaps yell at someone who is young and clueless on some things! :eek: Sorry if I offended the whole entire universe! 😦 So condemn me to Hell for it then! Sheese!!!

I wasn’t saying it was about ME, ME, ME!!! I was just telling how I dress…if it was about ME, ME, ME, I wouldn’t even be attending Mass!

I tell ya, seems like people have such a “hatred” towards young people…especially when they dont know a lot about Catholicism… :banghead:
 
I was in no way judging you and I dont think she was either. I will admit there are times I do wear jeans to mass, but I do rather dress up it just is more respectful to me. I just will put it to you this way if you are dressed in a way that draws attention to yourself so that someone else may not pay attention the mass than it probably isnt appropriate.

I mean you will never really get the answer you want cause you have to use your own judgment. Everyone will have their own opinion on this, so it is probably best you decide on your own or maybe talk to your priest if you are that worried about the situation.

Hope that helped,

Kerri
Paris Blues:
Geez woman! You don’t have to perhaps yell at someone who is young and clueless on some things! :eek: Sorry if I offended the whole entire universe! 😦 So condemn me to Hell for it then! Sheese!!!

I wasn’t saying it was about ME, ME, ME!!! I was just telling how I dress…if it was about ME, ME, ME, I wouldn’t even be attending Mass!

I tell ya, seems like people have such a “hatred” towards young people…especially when they dont know a lot about Catholicism… :banghead:
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katolik said:
go here to see what a friend of John Paul II, Cardinal Siri has to say about women and pants

Picture of the Pope John Paul II and Cardinal Siri

What the Magisterium says about clothing

ENJOY!
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Wow, those standards do seem tough. My whole wardrobe violates these (mostly for being the clothing of the “opposite gender”). My problem is not that I would not be willing to change, but that I can not financially afford to right now. My paychecks barely cover my basic expenses (including car payments and the cost for my dwelling).

I would also need some advice from someone to know what would look good on me since it has been a long time since I purchases any feminine clothes for myself (other than a couple years ago as a Halloween costume since it looked so different from what I normally wear even though it came from the women’s section, not the “Halloween Cosutme” section).

I am going to print out the pledge of modesty, but may have to start with what I wear at mass then expand to what I wear on a day to day basis depending on what I can afford!!
 
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TPJCatholic:
Paris,

What is your goal with this thread?
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WHAT??!?!
:confused: I don’t have a goal! Are you asking that because you thought I was trying to “bring on” something? I wasn’t at all.

All I was asking was does it matter what to wear? And since you guys wanted me to be more specific and told me what other people wear or your own friends, family members what they wear, I HAD to tell what I wear and all, NOT because I was saying ME, ME, ME (I never said it was about me!)! I was just trying to get a better idea of what to wear to Mass because I was about to wear things that maybe the Parish wouldn’t want. Now I have a better idea.

Thanks for telling me!
 
Asking these questions is a sign that you are growing spiritually - you begin to question those parts of your life and the example you are setting (scary, I know) that you never gave a second thought to before! It is amazing how it works that way!

Thank GOD for it.

(To follow up what you said earlier, how about buying one of those pretty summer shawls or a pretty light summer sweater to cover your shoulders in the summer instead of a wardrobe of new shirts?)
 
Yes, it matters. First of all your clothes are a statement about your self. Are they portraying self-confidence or are they objectifying your body?

Second, how you dress can be an occasion for sin for the oposite sex. I think it was here (but might have been on the EWTN Q&A) there was a series of messages from men regarding how women dress for Mass. I am a woman but from those testimonials, dressing in short skirts, tight pants, belly shirts, going bra less, displaying undergarments etc. is very distracting to the average red blooded male.

You may not care what others think about you but it might affect you whether you like it or not. Over the holidays my husband and I accompanied his sister and her two teen age girls to a concert. One of their friends (a boy) was also there wearing a shirt that said “too drunk to ****”. My sister-in-law knows this boy and he’s a good kid. But she will never treat him quite the same again - at least not around her girls.

My mother and I have a battle constantly about appropriate dress for Mass. She is in her 70s and doesn’t think it matters what people wear as long at they go. I don’t let my kids wear jeans or shorts to church and on Sundays they always have a shirt with a collar - usually a nice polo. I always wear a skirt of dress for Sunday Mass. I teach CCE and it is scheduled between two Sunday Masses. Our pastor asked the CCE teachers not to wear slacks to Mass, so I don’t (although I sometimes do for daily Mass). It is important as teachers to set an example for the kids who see us.

We are on assignment in South America and have had to make some adjustments since the Church here has no A/C. I gave up the panyhose and let the boys wear nice shorts.

I feel sorry sometimes for girls growing up in this time. When I was a teen (the 70s) there were so many choices. Skirts were fasionable mini, maxi or midi. When I shop for my neices it sometimes seems like it’s the same stuff in all of the stores - just a different color pallete. I do find fashionable, modest clothing for gifts but it takes a little extra detective work.
 
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