Does the Priest remember sins heard in confession?

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TerryJT

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Hello folks,
I am a revert-have been attending Mass for a few months after many decades away from the church. I know I need to go to confession before I can receive communion-and I am considering visiting a different parish to do so. I have some real whoppers in my past, and am not sure I would be comfortable being around the priest at my parish if he knew my personal business.

Yea-I know…they have heard it all…but I have always wondered how much they retain from what they hear in the confessional. Is there any “holy forgetfullness” going on? How can they look their parishioners in the eye, and respect them if they know about their darkest places?

Please advise-

Thanks.
 
Fr. Zuhlsdorf recently said this:
Keep in mind that priests are bound by the Seal of Confession. They will not reveal anything you confess, whether they know you or not.
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I think it is rather unlikely that a priest would radically change his opinion of you from what you confess. My experience is that I forget almost immediately what people have said. I don’t know why. It just happens that way. This same experience – of forgetting – has been backed up by other priests I know. It wouldn’t surprise me if a few priests chimed in under this entry to say the same thing.
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While it’s only an anecdotal observation by an individual priest (and he says backed up by some priest-friends), perhaps there’s more to it. Either way, they are bound under penalty of excommunication not to reveal anything said under the seal of confession. It’s 100% safe.
 
TerryJT said:
Yea-I know…they have heard it all…but I have always wondered how much they retain from what they hear in the confessional. Is there any “holy forgetfullness” going on? How can they look their parishioners in the eye, and respect them if they know about their darkest places?

Please advise-

Thanks.
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Because they also know about the brightest. It isn’t the ones in the confessional they need to worry about. They know those people are doing God’s work by addressing their sins and inviting Christ into their lives. That’s something worth respecting.
 
Go to a different parish then the one you attend.

There’s another parish near me, and they have a regular confessional as well as the face to face arrangement. I just go in the “box.” The priest cant see my face through the screen.
 
I agree with triumphguy. If your church has confessionals go in one of those. If it doesn’t, go at another parish.

Either way, go! It’s always worth it. 😃

–Jen
 
Ever do any wholesale or retail stocking work? Think of the products that you moved, lifted, stacked or set in place as someone’s sins. Your job was to take them from where they were and bear them up to where they would be liquidated, not to remember them. Oh, some were much heavier than others, but it was all in a day’s work.

If you cannot look your own Priest in the face, how are you to face our Lord in the judgment seat? Your entire life will be replayed before your eyes. The Priest is not here to judge you - he is here to save you from judgment.
 
I agree with the others. If confession is easier for you by going to another parish then you are free to do so.

I have made it a practice for many years to have a regular confessor who is not my parish priest. This helps me to feel comfortable and to have no fear of approaching confession. There has been one exception - one of my parish priests was someone I felt particularly comfortable with, and so I confessed to him for several years.

Don’t forget to check the confessional times at your Cathedral. It probably has daily confession, and is very anonymous. I suggest you arrive 10 minutes before the scheduled start - these confessionals can have long queues (which also helps you feel even more anonymous!)
 
po18guy said:
Ever do any wholesale or retail stocking work? Think of the products that you moved, lifted, stacked or set in place as someone’s sins. Your job was to take them from where they were and bear them up to where they would be liquidated, not to remember them. Oh, some were much heavier than others, but it was all in a day’s work.
…
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That’s excellent! 🙂
 
We’re not asked to look our own priest in the face. Sometimes that’s appropriate, other times not. We are asked to go to confession and get right with the Lord, not face to face with the priest.
 
I would think that they hear sins endlessly repeated, and every sin under the sun, so that they couldn’t generally keep sins straight later on. Yet on the other hand, they could remember some of them if they know you. But why worry? Just go the confessional so it is not a face to face confession. You might want too to go to another parish. When the priest comes out of the confessional or goes into it in the beginning he can see you if you are in a pew and may realize it was you.
I know that some priests only have face to face confessions. For my part, then I just go elsewhere.
 
triumphguy said:
We’re not asked to look our own priest in the face. Sometimes that’s appropriate, other times not. We are asked to go to confession and get right with the Lord, not face to face with the priest.
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  • However*, the Priest, as with Saint Paul (2 Corinthians 2:10), forgives in persona Christi. Something to think about.
 
Go to your own Parish Church for Confessional

Recently my dilemna was that I do tell him quite a lot in my way and wondered whether confession with him be appropriate. I decided to ask him when I was booking the confession and he was fine with it and for me it really helped because he was able to help me more in confession knowing that bit more of me rather than just going on what I presented at that moment.

They may well remember some bits though as with us fade in time but he will never disclose what you have said outside of confession. Our priest is going to remember some of mine since back at Christmas my ‘nice’ penance was to rejoin the choir ((and serve)). He hardly is going to ask me what made me go ‘back’ to the choir when I did ‘use’ the confession for help with that and he heard… This time he loaned a book and he aint going to look suprised or anything when I give it him back. We don’t do regular clockwork confession so I can’t give it him back in Confession and when I can simply give it back on a week I’m serving, so in the vestry anyway and can give it back innocently without half the congregation wondering what book have I just borrowed.

I am in support of you trying to to go to the Parish you are at in that yes, he will never disclose what you have said whether he remembers or not and actually may well go in favour of you for having the strength to be honest about things of the past. It hard to disclose past things I know…
 
If it makes you feel more comfortable then feel free to go to another parish/priest for confession. It doesn’t really matter where or to who you go.

But to answer the title question, no we don’t remember sins we heard in confession. We hear enough confessions that they all blend together and since we can’t do anything with the information there’s no reason we’d even try to remember.
 
I suggested to my own pastor that perhaps “sacramental forgetfulness” was one of the graces of the sacrament of holy orders, and he agreed.
 
po18guy said:
  • However*, the Priest, as with Saint Paul (2 Corinthians 2:10), forgives in persona Christi. Something to think about.
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Yes, but he doesn’t personally forgive! The personality of the priest doesn’t come into it.

I say, that confession can be hard enough AS IT IS without forum members making extra demands of the person inquiring.

Bottom line: go to confession.

If you want anonymity that’s fine. In fact that’s fantastic, because that’s what the Church has catered to until the 70’s.
 
triumphguy said:
If you want anonymity that’s fine. In fact that’s fantastic, because that’s what the Church has catered to until the 70’s.
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The western church, that is. Quite the opposite is true in the east.
 
If priests forget sins

then how do they know what not to disclose and it must get difficult sometimes especially with parishioners like me who will post something to him about the penance. Though in a positive way. Is it okay to talk about advice/penance but not the sin.
But does get tough if remembering all the rules on that and I do talk about the penance to 2 other close friends but thats it. It does seem tough in a way that we can say more or less what we like but priests can’t say anything.
 
The priests I know simply never talk about other people in any way that would ever touch on their sins. They hardly ever talk about anybody at all. Which is a good practice for most of us 🙂
 
TerryJT said:
Hello folks,
I am a revert-have been attending Mass for a few months after many decades away from the church. I know I need to go to confession before I can receive communion-and I am considering visiting a different parish to do so. I have some real whoppers in my past, and am not sure I would be comfortable being around the priest at my parish if he knew my personal business.

Yea-I know…they have heard it all…but I have always wondered how much they retain from what they hear in the confessional. Is there any “holy forgetfullness” going on? How can they look their parishioners in the eye, and respect them if they know about their darkest places?

Please advise-

Thanks.
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I have a mortal sin I need to confess and I refuse to go to my parish priest because I fear he will loose respect for me. I am waiting to have to opportunity to go to a priest who doesn’t know me behind a screen. Hopefully I don’t die between now and then. :eek:
 
joclucsylv said:
I have a mortal sin I need to confess and I refuse to go to my parish priest because I fear he will loose respect for me. I am waiting to have to opportunity to go to a priest who doesn’t know me behind a screen. Hopefully I don’t die between now and then. :eek:
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Are you willing to risk this? I wouldn’t be. Your priest has heard it all, believe me. Don’t take the risk of meeting God with the stain of mortal sin on your soul.
 
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