By the way, my post above isn’t a criticism, and I meant to add a wink to it along with the eye-roll. I wish I could attend at TLM chapel myself.
What our parish priest does is completely avoid the Confiteor all together and go into his own words for the Kyrie Eleison. But he always seems to mess it up, trying to think of what he wants to say. It all ends up sounding silly.
Example:
Priest: Lord, you came to call us to repentence because we sometimes go off in the wrong direction, and — and, — and we forget about your love, Lord have mercy.
People: Lord have mercy
Priest: Lord Jesus, we love you and we want you to always be with you, even when we forget to love our neighbor or — or — make the wrong decisions. Lord, — er, I mean, Christ have mercy.
People: Christ have mercy
Priest: Lord, you are a God of love and you just— just love your creation so much, Lord have mercy.
People: Lord have mercy.
I wish I were exaggerating, but it is just about like this.