I have same-sex attraction, and I can tell you that (for me) that message is certainly NOT enough. **Why **should I remain chaste? Why is homosexual activity wrong? What are the harms associated with it?
If we can’t answer these questions, then teens who are inclined to homosexual activity will not remain chaste – why would they? Treating teenagers with respect involves giving them **real **answers to questions: not “because God said so” or “because the Church teaches it.” Why does God say so? Why does the Church teach it?
One admirable thing about the speaker at this school is that she did feel like she needed to explain how homosexual activity is harmful – good for her. Now, maybe she said some unwise or unnecessarily hurtful things and used some out of date materials. But her intentions were right on.
There is also a much bigger picture here – we live in a culture where one’s sexual activity is perceived as the primary means of achieving self fulfillment. For most people in our society, this belief is beyond challenge and no serious alternative argument has had any broad currency in at least 50 years. Pursuing sexual fulfillment is inextricably linked to the basic need to find and experience love. Without this experience, you are viewed as deprived and/or repressed, abnormal even. (Dating myself a bit here, but I vividly remember my stepmother’s copy of Erica Jong’s Fear of Flying sitting on the coffee table. Of course I ended up reading it. To my credit, my opinion of it was pretty low, but that mindset was and basically still is everywhere.) The notion that a life dedicated to God fulfills you (and redefines all of your priorities, including the role of your sexuality) is just not part of the modern psyche. It is not surprising that kids react the way that they do to the basic teachings of the Church about sexuality. But in reality all of us struggle with these teachings in this culture, straight as well as gay, married or single. It’s human nature. The problem is (and always will be) in us, not in the teaching of the Church.
Now, I know we “good” Catholics all know our Augustine et al. - over emphasizing self-fulfillment through sexuality leads in time to a painful limiting and distortion of the human experience. Love is in effect nullified by the mutual objectification of persons and the prioritizing of gratification as the desired end. Or put more simply, in casual situations, people simply tire of each other when our needs are no longer being met. In addition, the consequences of irresponsible and impulsive sexual acts often seriously hurt those around us as well as ourselves; we in turn are hurt by this behavior in those we trust. Our sexual needs come to dominate our lives and undermine our dignity. It’s really just a variation of living for money, material things, alcohol, drugs, pornography, food, physical attractiveness, work, etc. etc. etc.
A life informed by faith gives us a larger perspective and a means to freedom; it helps us to limit and direct our sexuality back to its original natural purpose (where it is allowed to flourish for our good, i.e., in the traditional marriage structure). This further builds strong, stable communities and societies. (As an aside, the Greek tragedians can teach you probably more than anybody about the destructiveness of the passions, but of course no one reads them anymore…my point is distrust of the passions used to be common knowledge, predating the CCC by quite a bit.)
I really doubt that any kid, or for that matter many adults, want to hear this all of this, but that doesn’t mean we don’t have a responsibility to inform children and adults in a truthful manner about the role of sexuality in their lives from the Christian perspective. And I also don’t think Church teaching on sexuality or homosexuality will make any sense to anyone who doesn’t already understand and accept the reality of original sin in their lives, which extends in influence far beyond sexuality. You likewise need a firm grasp on the concept of the will of the flesh (i.e., things of the world, including but not just sexuality & your ego) vs. the will of the spirit (things of God, agape love, patience, faith, wisdom, humility, self control, etc.) It all has to be taken in together.
A lot of us learn and relearn and relearn the unpleasant truth of the limitations of the modern approach to sexuality. We’re looking for too much in it and dehumanizing ourselves in the process. I’m afraid the Church has this one right…