Doubt in God's existence

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Dear catholic answers,
I have a problem that’s bothering me. I was baptized as a catholic and also confirmed. That makes the problem even worse. Recently there seems to be constant turmoil in my mind. For the first time in my life I’m seriously asking the question: Does God exist? And all cues seem to lead me to the answer: God does not exist.

By God: I mean the monotheist God that the Catholic church professes in the credo, the God of Abraham, Isac and Jacob.

Why do I have this doubt
  1. I don’t see evidence for God.
  2. I see inconsistencies and contradictions in the bible: Jesus abolishing the law / not abolishing the law, Jesus bringing peace / Jesus bringing a sword …
  3. The more I read it, the more I get the impression that God behaves like an absolutist middle-east dictator.
  4. I simply don’t have the argument to speak out about God and the Gospel (as Christians are asked to do) It’s not that I’m always shy - I speak out with conviction about protecting the environment, climate change, gender equality - But there’s just too few evidence to make a valid argument for God
  5. I see too much evidence against God, like how can God make decisions and still exist outside of time, how can God be non-material and still have emotions.
  6. I’m frustrated about worrying about ending up in hell all the time. I’m also frustrated about all the time I spent worshiping an imaginary being.
Now the problem: If I reject the existence of God I feel a big sense of loss, the firm basis of my decisions is lost, I no longer have anybody to cry out to when abandoned by people, and too often I feel weak just on my own. It must be something psychological.

Did you ever have this concern, like completely questioning the existence of God ?? And is there anyone who was able to honestly return to believing in God? In the process did you have to re-define the existence of God (like God exists only inside of people’s neural network in the brain) ???
 
How should we respond?

If you were a small child, we would drape you on your shoulder and comfort you and you would have faith in our faith and that would be enough.

You are not a child, but GOD’S SPIRIT has sent you to us looking for a shoulder.

Know here by all comfort we have faith enough for you and for those you encounter without, return here as often as needed.

But you are called by GOD, and here as well, to be the shoulder for those you encounter. If GOD was so blatent in HIS COMMUNION with you, without your request, your existence would be consumed in that, and HE would have little need for creating you, and much less, any of the rest of us.

Also, be very careful about what you espose and support, the global warming/personal choice crowd are rediculously fleeting in temporal concerns and tend to have no need for [a] god, much less GOD. For them [and FROM THEM] you must stand a pace off, and let your faith be your mantle, let it be the island that they will eventually swim-to, or not. But proof in argument, is not what they are seeking when they question your faith, they are merely hoping to convince you otherwise.

The Faithful are not weak, nor are they simple minded, they have not seen the other side of the mountain, but THEY HAVE NOT ALSO OPENENED THEMSELVES UP TO ALL THINGS NOT GOD.

If you must, go ahead, pray for unshakeable-faith, but when the SPIRIT OF GOD has so blessed you, you must step out of the boat and stand on the waves before the LORD when he calls. Until then I sit in the boat, in shrinking awe of MY LORD, but still a shoulder to hold you and let you know your faith by my meager faith is sound.
 
I think the question shouldn’t be does God exist… but rather does the God that the church preaches about exist and does the church paint an accurate picture of God? Remember, God is God but religion is not God. Man created religion as an interpretation of God. I think religion tells us more about mankind than it does about God. The bible was not written by God himself but rather by the hands of man. Mankind is greedy, deceptive, selfish, and have their own agenda. This is why I can’t take the bible at 100% face value. It seems like you have more issues with the church than with God. It’s ok to think for yourself and listen to what you feel is right in your heart than believe in something just because someone tells you to.
 
I think the question shouldn’t be does God exist… but rather does the God that the church preaches about exist and does the church paint an accurate picture of God? Remember, God is God but religion is not God. Man created religion as an interpretation of God. I think religion tells us more about mankind than it does about God. The bible was not written by God himself but rather by the hands of man. Mankind is greedy, deceptive, selfish, and have their own agenda. This is why I can’t take the bible at 100% face value. It seems like you have more issues with the church than with God. It’s ok to think for yourself and listen to what you feel is right in your heart than believe in something just because someone tells you to.
Incorrect. Jesus is God and Jesus instituted religion and His Church, not man.
 
I think the question shouldn’t be does God exist… but rather does the God that the church preaches about exist and does the church paint an accurate picture of God?
Yes… but some have even this question about God. When you have serious doubts about the existence of God, the Church seems paradise on earth if you are able to overcome the doubts and return to the flock. You only want to belong, to have the same firm convictions of the ones around you. You don’t have the luxury to question a particular teaching or ritual - on the contrary, adhering to them confirms that you belong to that community and reinforces your wish to be faithful.

To the OP - all I can say is that the more one has invested himself in a religion / worship / God, the harder the fight he will have in his mind. I for one doubt one can simply leave and ever be at peace with himself, like Atheists seem to be. Without knowing any statistics, I guess that many “doubters” simply come back after some time, because the fight doesn’t lead them anywhere (to any solid ground) and it becomes too painful and damaging to one’s mind. Does religion feel more comforting when one comes back? Yes. Does that mean that the former doubters are lying to themselves? Sometimes yes, sometimes no. Do prayers for the grace of faith and for finding the truth help? Perhaps this could be best answered by CAF members who have had doubts themselves and now are happy after returning “back home”.
 
It’s ok to think for yourself and listen to what you feel is right in your heart than believe in something just because someone tells you to.
If what is in your heart is confusion, precisely how do you determine which of the confused parts are to be listened to?

No where in Church teaching is anyone told to believe because someone else says it is true. The teachings are there as maps and guideposts precisely to make sense of the confusion that is inside of us as the result of man’s concupiscence. Things are not crystal clear precisely because of our fallen nature. That explains the confusion. Church teaching, tradition and the lives of the saints are all there to help us make sense of the internal turmoil and to gauge our way through it. We don’t listen or stop listening just because others are speaking, but because those others have gone through the turmoil and have made sense of it. Their experiences are enlightening and helpful.

My suggestion is to take time to identify those confusing aspects and do some real study into what the Church teaches about them, don’t accept any simplistic critique until you check it with what the Church actually teaches and why.
 
“I would rather live my life as if there is a God, and die to find out there isn’t, than live my life as if there isn’t, and die to find out there is.” ~Albert Camus

Dear JFJK it is natural for each of us to have doubts from time to time. Being human as we are - we do not always have the ability to believe in things without evidence at times…yet faith calls for no evidence.

Each of us can read the bible and learn as much as possible about God and His word. You are indeed correct that many bible passages appear to contradict another…but that may be due to many reasons.Incorrect translations incorrect recording of events or maybe just our lack of understanding of the true meanings.

All I know is from my own personal experience I have built up a relationship with God. Just like any other it takes time to build any relationship.

I have come to a place in my life where my faith is develpoed over time due to learning as much as possible and praying for guidance.

My advice to you would be read the bible as you are but pray…praying is the most effective way to build your faith.

God will answer your prayers and you will feel that faith grow.

May God bless you and guide you
 
Dear catholic answers,
I have a problem that’s bothering me. I was baptized as a catholic and also confirmed. That makes the problem even worse. Recently there seems to be constant turmoil in my mind. For the first time in my life I’m seriously asking the question: Does God exist? And all cues seem to lead me to the answer: God does not exist.

By God: I mean the monotheist God that the Catholic church professes in the credo, the God of Abraham, Isac and Jacob.

Why do I have this doubt
  1. I don’t see evidence for God.
  2. I see inconsistencies and contradictions in the bible: Jesus abolishing the law / not abolishing the law, Jesus bringing peace / Jesus bringing a sword …
  3. The more I read it, the more I get the impression that God behaves like an absolutist middle-east dictator.
  4. I simply don’t have the argument to speak out about God and the Gospel (as Christians are asked to do) It’s not that I’m always shy - I speak out with conviction about protecting the environment, climate change, gender equality - But there’s just too few evidence to make a valid argument for God
  5. I see too much evidence against God, like how can God make decisions and still exist outside of time, how can God be non-material and still have emotions.
  6. I’m frustrated about worrying about ending up in hell all the time. I’m also frustrated about all the time I spent worshiping an imaginary being.
Now the problem: If I reject the existence of God I feel a big sense of loss, the firm basis of my decisions is lost, I no longer have anybody to cry out to when abandoned by people, and too often I feel weak just on my own. It must be something psychological.

Did you ever have this concern, like completely questioning the existence of God ?? And is there anyone who was able to honestly return to believing in God? In the process did you have to re-define the existence of God (like God exists only inside of people’s neural network in the brain) ???
I must confess, when I was outside the Catholic Church, these thoughts crossed my mind.“Knock and it shall be opened to you,seek and you will find…” This promise is so true. Our intellect, wants to justify everything, that is the flesh. I consider this, what you are going through, is the dark night of the soul.One of the stepping stones, God used in my life was listening to Evangelist(Good ones), and a lot of questions were answered for me. Man in all his wealth,science,wisdom and knowledge can come together, with all of it, and can not produce one single blade of living,reproducing grass. That right there, did it for me.There had to be a Creator, Supreme Being. God in control of the Universe.Then in reading the Bible, I see all Creation glorifies God. Proverbs and psalms, are a good place to start.Then I began to come to the realization of God’s plan and saw how Jesus formed the Church. Then I realized, he gave that authority to Peter,because he was going back to the Father,and had to leave some one in charge.I realized, this was the Catholic Church.If we look hard enough, we see God in all of nature.A single cell is so complex, it only can have been designed by a Creator. I also saw a Creation Evidence Museum, in Glen Rose Texas, which showed we did not come from Evolution. That man, had to be created by a Creator.I agree, the fact that you came here, is your growth, through the Holy Spirit, drawing you toward God. I, went through the same things, and not embarrassed, to share that.Hanging around CAF and the support I got, brought me back into the Fullness of the Catholic Church, just last week.God’s got it all under control. We are all here for a reason, to help and support one another.God’s light is in every person, that I believe, it is up to us to answer the call of God’s Spirit in us.
God Bless and I’ll be praying for you
 
Dear catholic answers,
I have a problem that’s bothering me. I was baptized as a catholic and also confirmed. That makes the problem even worse. Recently there seems to be constant turmoil in my mind. For the first time in my life I’m seriously asking the question: Does God exist? And all cues seem to lead me to the answer: God does not exist.

By God: I mean the monotheist God that the Catholic church professes in the credo, the God of Abraham, Isac and Jacob.

Why do I have this doubt
  1. I don’t see evidence for God.
  2. I see inconsistencies and contradictions in the bible: Jesus abolishing the law / not abolishing the law, Jesus bringing peace / Jesus bringing a sword …
  3. The more I read it, the more I get the impression that God behaves like an absolutist middle-east dictator.
  4. I simply don’t have the argument to speak out about God and the Gospel (as Christians are asked to do) It’s not that I’m always shy - I speak out with conviction about protecting the environment, climate change, gender equality - But there’s just too few evidence to make a valid argument for God
  5. I see too much evidence against God, like how can God make decisions and still exist outside of time, how can God be non-material and still have emotions.
  6. I’m frustrated about worrying about ending up in hell all the time. I’m also frustrated about all the time I spent worshiping an imaginary being.
Now the problem: If I reject the existence of God I feel a big sense of loss, the firm basis of my decisions is lost, I no longer have anybody to cry out to when abandoned by people, and too often I feel weak just on my own. It must be something psychological.

Did you ever have this concern, like completely questioning the existence of God ?? And is there anyone who was able to honestly return to believing in God? In the process did you have to re-define the existence of God (like God exists only inside of people’s neural network in the brain) ???
If God spoke to you audibly, would you question His existence? I was fortunate, several years ago, to have that privilege. But surely we don’t need to hear God’s voice to know that He exists. The proof through the existence and workings of the universe speak of God’s existence as to make no other proof necessary. But one look at a Crucifix should tell you, in one soul-searching glance, just how much God loves you. You say He is dictatorial? I say He is patient and loving. He forgives us each time we ask for forgiveness. He waits patiently, without judging, for us to return to Him. Of course you have a feeling of loss if you doubt His existence. No one can go through life without help. God is always with us, and we know that with God all things are possible. Who would turn his back on that kind of friend? Keep talking to God. He will answer you. I can’t say that it will be audibly. I surely didn’t expect that, but He will answer. And you will know the answer came from God, whatever means He chooses in communicating with you. Good luck and God bless.
 
Dear catholic answers,
I have a problem that’s bothering me. I was baptized as a catholic and also confirmed. That makes the problem even worse. Recently there seems to be constant turmoil in my mind. For the first time in my life I’m seriously asking the question: Does God exist? And all cues seem to lead me to the answer: God does not exist.

By God: I mean the monotheist God that the Catholic church professes in the credo, the God of Abraham, Isac and Jacob.

Why do I have this doubt
  1. I don’t see evidence for God.
  2. I see inconsistencies and contradictions in the bible: Jesus abolishing the law / not abolishing the law, Jesus bringing peace / Jesus bringing a sword …
  3. The more I read it, the more I get the impression that God behaves like an absolutist middle-east dictator.
  4. I simply don’t have the argument to speak out about God and the Gospel (as Christians are asked to do) It’s not that I’m always shy - I speak out with conviction about protecting the environment, climate change, gender equality - But there’s just too few evidence to make a valid argument for God
  5. I see too much evidence against God, like how can God make decisions and still exist outside of time, how can God be non-material and still have emotions.
  6. I’m frustrated about worrying about ending up in hell all the time. I’m also frustrated about all the time I spent worshiping an imaginary being.
Now the problem: If I reject the existence of God I feel a big sense of loss, the firm basis of my decisions is lost, I no longer have anybody to cry out to when abandoned by people, and too often I feel weak just on my own. It must be something psychological.

Did you ever have this concern, like completely questioning the existence of God ?? And is there anyone who was able to honestly return to believing in God? In the process did you have to re-define the existence of God (like God exists only inside of people’s neural network in the brain) ???
It sounds like you have a good head on your shoulders. The reasons you give for doubting the existence of God are good ones, especially number 5.

As for your problem: don’t fret. What did turning to God in times of sadness and trouble? Fleeting comfort? No real solutions I bet.
Now you must learn to face your problems head on. You turn to real life people for solutions and support. (I assume you weren’t abandoned by every single person you know 🙂 ) Your friends and family can comfort you in times of loss, and if you think it would help, maybe a counselor. Also, dogs are a good comfort when you feel alone. They don’t give a lot of feedback but they will put a smile on your face.

So my suggestion to you is, stop reading the bible, get a counselor, and get a dog.
🙂
 
It sounds like you have a good head on your shoulders. The reasons you give for doubting the existence of God are good ones, especially number 5.

As for your problem: don’t fret. What did turning to God in times of sadness and trouble? Fleeting comfort? No real solutions I bet.
Now you must learn to face your problems head on. You turn to real life people for solutions and support. (I assume you weren’t abandoned by every single person you know 🙂 ) Your friends and family can comfort you in times of loss, and if you think it would help, maybe a counselor. Also, dogs are a good comfort when you feel alone. They don’t give a lot of feedback but they will put a smile on your face.

So my suggestion to you is, stop reading the bible, get a counselor, and get a dog.
🙂
Yes, the Bible opens up an awareness of all those troubling realities that “dog” (pardon the pun) our existence as humans. Whereas counselors “explain away” the realities as illusions, the Bible insists that we deal with and not run away from them in order to achieve salvation. Of course, dogs (and cats, for that matter), being the existentially integrated and God-trusting creatures they are, not being as affected by the consequences of original sin as humans, provide beneficial reprieve from the turmoil of our existence.

So if you value short term comfort over long term solutions, then by all means follow samian’s sage advice. The question is, though, will any but ultimate solutions be completely satisfying?
 
Yes, the Bible opens up an awareness of all those troubling realities that “dog” (pardon the pun) our existence as humans.
Hehe good one.😃
Whereas counselors “explain away” the realities as illusions, the Bible insists that we deal with and not run away from them in order to achieve salvation. Of course, dogs (and cats, for that matter), being the existentially integrated and God-trusting creatures they are, not being as affected by the consequences of original sin as humans, provide beneficial reprieve from the turmoil of our existence.
So if you value short term comfort over long term solutions, then by all means follow samian’s sage advice. The question is, though, will any but ultimate solutions be completely satisfying?
A dog is only short term comfort, no doubt, and not a solution. I got the impression the OP needed both.
Dealing with problems in life should be done pragmatically and realistically. There’s no better time than the present to start learning those skills. Whether that means putting that good head of his to use, or consulting with others, a pragmatic, as opposed to a wishful approach, is more likely to get the results he wants.
 
Thank you all for sharing your points of view! I appreciate your time.
You are not a child, but GOD’S SPIRIT has sent you to us looking for a shoulder.
Know here by all comfort we have faith enough for you and for those you encounter without, return here as often as needed.
But you are called by GOD, and here as well, to be the shoulder for those you encounter. If GOD was so blatent in HIS COMMUNION with you, without your request, your existence would be consumed in that, and HE would have little need for creating you, and much less, any of the rest of us.
Now you must learn to face your problems head on. You turn to real life people for solutions and support. (I assume you weren’t abandoned by every single person you know ) Your friends and family can comfort you in times of loss, and if you think it would help, maybe a counselor. Also, dogs are a good comfort when you feel alone. They don’t give a lot of feedback but they will put a smile on your face.
The conflict in my mind is between LOYALTY - keeping my promises, trying to stay faithful to what I had once professed, and TRUTH, being honest with myself, not lying to myself, not blindly accepting contradictory things. I have to sort this out with myself at least short-term otherwise I can’t talk to people openly or focus on anything.
 
Dear catholic answers,
I have a problem that’s bothering me. I was baptized as a catholic and also confirmed. That makes the problem even worse. Recently there seems to be constant turmoil in my mind. For the first time in my life I’m seriously asking the question: Does God exist? And all cues seem to lead me to the answer: God does not exist.

By God: I mean the monotheist God that the Catholic church professes in the credo, the God of Abraham, Isac and Jacob.

Why do I have this doubt
  1. I don’t see evidence for God.
  2. I see inconsistencies and contradictions in the bible: Jesus abolishing the law / not abolishing the law, Jesus bringing peace / Jesus bringing a sword …
  3. The more I read it, the more I get the impression that God behaves like an absolutist middle-east dictator.
  4. I simply don’t have the argument to speak out about God and the Gospel (as Christians are asked to do) It’s not that I’m always shy - I speak out with conviction about protecting the environment, climate change, gender equality - But there’s just too few evidence to make a valid argument for God
  5. I see too much evidence against God, like how can God make decisions and still exist outside of time, how can God be non-material and still have emotions.
  6. I’m frustrated about worrying about ending up in hell all the time. I’m also frustrated about all the time I spent worshiping an imaginary being.
Now the problem: If I reject the existence of God I feel a big sense of loss, the firm basis of my decisions is lost, I no longer have anybody to cry out to when abandoned by people, and too often I feel weak just on my own. It must be something psychological.

Did you ever have this concern, like completely questioning the existence of God ?? And is there anyone who was able to honestly return to believing in God? In the process did you have to re-define the existence of God (like God exists only inside of people’s neural network in the brain) ???
Rejecting the Judeo-Christian conception of God does not necessarily have to lead to a rejection of the concept of a god or gods. There are other religions out there, or you could be a deist.

Why would you feel a sense of loss in a godless Universe? Do you need a god for there to be a reason for everything? Do you fear non-existence? If it’s the latter, the concept of afterlife does not necessarily require a deity. Technically Buddhism has no opinion on the matter and accepts reincarnation.
 
If you are open, I’d like to recommend a book or two. I think Mere Christianity would be a good start. And also Peter Kreeft’s “Because God is real”. I like Peter Kreeft, he has a way of making everything make sense, I’m pretty thick-headed, and I like clear language, which so far everything I’ve read of him has been. Faith doesn’t have to blind and there’s good reasons for all the things we profess to believe, I’ve come to see.👍

What convinced me about the existence of God, and we all have to be eventually, was a lot of things. They might not do the same for you but here’s just one or two:

We know that everything that exists is dependent on something else for its existence. Like I only came into existence because my mom gave birth to me and hers gave birth to her and so on…But then I thought, is it possible that there is an endless chain of beings that each are dependent on something else for their existence? I came to the conclusion no. You might say why not, but here’s an illustration.

I live by a lot of trains, sometimes I pull up to the railroad crossing, and I see what looks like an endless line of train cars zooming past me. None of those cars can pull themselves, they’re each dependent on the one in front of them to move them. But what if I said, “there’s an infinite line of cars each pulling each other, no engine”? I’m pretty sure everybody would laugh at me. Why? Because its obvious that none of those cars has the power to move itself on its own, if there was just an infinite amount, that wouldn’t do anything. They’d all be sitting still. There’s obviously an engine, which moves itself, that pulls all the other cars.

Same thing with the universe, even ignoring the complexity of the universe - which itself is a huge indicator of a Designer - we know that nothing could come from nothing. There has to be an uncaused Cause, that doesnt receive its existence from anyone or anything, that started this whole thing. And science has proven that the universe did begin! About 13.5 billion years ago I think is what most physicists say. Which is huge, because if it had a beginning, that means there was a time when there was nothing. Where did it all come from?

Second, what if I’m wrong. And pretty much all of humanity has been wrong; that’s a possibility. But then what does that mean? That the entire universe is an accident, born from chaos, somehow perfectly organized to support life. But that also means that my life has no meaning, I’m an accident, just a random bunch of chemical reactions. Essentially, there’s no difference between me and this plant that’s sitting in my room here.

Some would argue that I have more brain function so therefore I’m worth more than a plant, but then by that same token, a five-year old would be worth less than a college professor, or an infant would even be worth less than a pig. That seems wrong to us, but if we are just accidents, there’s no way to refute that from a purely material perspective.

Yet I have this desire for there to be meaning in my life, as I think everyone - whether consciously or not - does. But why would that be? If I didn’t need food, and in fact food didn’t exist, I wouldn’t crave it. Again same principle. There can never be meaning if this whole thing is an accident. Yet here we are, asking big questions. And again its not just we developed this trait for survival, asking these things don’t correspond to any need to survive. it’d be like seeing a cheetah runs 700 mph 🙂 He doesn’t need to go that fast to catch food. Only if there is a God, who made us for a reason, can any of this make sense.

I have a lot more to say…but I just realized how long this post was 😃 Anyway, those are just a couple of the things that convinced me.

If you want I think Catholic Answers Live has a Q and A open forum coming up on Tuesday or Wednesday, I would call them, I’m sure they could get the answer you need. If you haven’t heard it before, its awesome, especially their open forums for Non-Catholics.

Have a happy Thanksgiving! 👍
 
Dear catholic answers,
I have a problem that’s bothering me. I was baptized as a catholic and also confirmed. That makes the problem even worse. Recently there seems to be constant turmoil in my mind. For the first time in my life I’m seriously asking the question: Does God exist? And all cues seem to lead me to the answer: God does not exist.

By God: I mean the monotheist God that the Catholic church professes in the credo, the God of Abraham, Isac and Jacob.

Why do I have this doubt
  1. I don’t see evidence for God.
  2. I see inconsistencies and contradictions in the bible: Jesus abolishing the law / not abolishing the law, Jesus bringing peace / Jesus bringing a sword …
  3. The more I read it, the more I get the impression that God behaves like an absolutist middle-east dictator.
That’s the people writing the scriptures coming out. The ancients had dictators.
  1. I simply don’t have the argument to speak out about God and the Gospel (as Christians are asked to do) It’s not that I’m always shy - I speak out with conviction about protecting the environment, climate change, gender equality - But there’s just too few evidence to make a valid argument for God
  2. I see too much evidence against God, like how can God make decisions and still exist outside of time, how can God be non-material and still have emotions.
We associate god with ourselves in order to understand “him”. I wouldn’t call god material or non-material. He is beyond all that. Your using definitions of humans.
  1. I’m frustrated about worrying about ending up in hell all the time. I’m also frustrated about all the time I spent worshiping an imaginary being.
Now the problem: If I reject the existence of God I feel a big sense of loss, the firm basis of my decisions is lost, I no longer have anybody to cry out to when abandoned by people, and too often I feel weak just on my own. It must be something psychological.

Did you ever have this concern, like completely questioning the existence of God ?? And is there anyone who was able to honestly return to believing in God? In the process did you have to re-define the existence of God (like God exists only inside of people’s neural network in the brain) ???
 
Rejecting the Judeo-Christian conception of God does not necessarily have to lead to a rejection of the concept of a god or gods. There are other religions out there, or you could be a deist.
Why would you feel a sense of loss in a godless Universe? Do you need a god for there to be a reason for everything? Do you fear non-existence? If it’s the latter, the concept of afterlife does not necessarily require a deity. Technically Buddhism has no opinion on the matter and accepts reincarnation.
I don’t fear nonexistence. It’s this life on Earth that matters to me. I hold Life as sacred. Even without God there is still a huge meaning in beauty, frienship and love.

The sense of loss is rather emotional. I remember experiencing strong emotions when I was convinced that the bread received in the communion was really God. I also remember a sense of peace in musical worship a sense of quiet calmness in the rosary. Now I’m asking myself, were these false feelings, or was I just hiding away from stress and avoiding to face it. It looks like some of the rituals were giving me a kind of reassurance that life is still Ok.

The place where I still experience the divine is the forest. Intuition leads me to think that the forest might be a deity or every tree is God.

Still have to sort out some of this. I’m not comfortable talking to people about my concern. Maybe that’s why I used the anonymity of the Internet. Time for me to shut down the Internet and start talking to my close friends.
 
I don’t fear nonexistence. It’s this life on Earth that matters to me. I hold Life as sacred. Even without God there is still a huge meaning in beauty, frienship and love.

The sense of loss is rather emotional. I remember experiencing strong emotions when I was convinced that the bread received in the communion was really God. I also remember a sense of peace in musical worship a sense of quiet calmness in the rosary. Now I’m asking myself, were these false feelings, or was I just hiding away from stress and avoiding to face it. It looks like some of the rituals were giving me a kind of reassurance that life is still Ok.

The place where I still experience the divine is the forest. Intuition leads me to think that the forest might be a deity or every tree is God.

Still have to sort out some of this. I’m not comfortable talking to people about my concern. Maybe that’s why I used the anonymity of the Internet. Time for me to shut down the Internet and start talking to my close friends.
Perhaps. They know you better and may be able to better advise you.

The forest is an interesting place. It affects people differently. I recommend looking into Neopaganism if nature speaks to you. That won’t be what most people here say, I’m certain, but what works for you works for you. You sound like a pantheist to me. And there is nothing wrong with that. Personally I think that religion is a subjective experience and that God talks to you in whatever language you’re fluent in.

If you want to talk to the Divine with trees and such as a common language, talk in that language.

SeekerDude,
Does what it says on the tin, not what the pew he sits in suggests.
 
With the stipulation-

Please don’t become a hippie about it if you do. Not that there’s anything wrong with being a hippie, it’s just that hippies are hippies and there’s better ways to be a Pagan than by being a hippie.
🙂
 
I don’t fear nonexistence. It’s this life on Earth that matters to me. I hold Life as sacred. Even without God there is still a huge meaning in beauty, frienship and love.
👍
The sense of loss is rather emotional. I remember experiencing strong emotions when I was convinced that the bread received in the communion was really God. I also remember a sense of peace in musical worship a sense of quiet calmness in the rosary. Now I’m asking myself, were these false feelings, or was I just hiding away from stress and avoiding to face it. It looks like some of the rituals were giving me a kind of reassurance that life is still Ok.
The place where I still experience the divine is the forest. Intuition leads me to think that the forest might be a deity or every tree is God.
Listen to your intuition! Spend some time in the forest. Don’t waste your time reading about a God you can’t believe in. Go out there and find what makes sense to you.

:christmastree1:
 
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