Doubt in God's existence

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Isn’t agnostic atheist an oxymoron? You can’t say that you believe that something is possible, and then say that you believe also that it is impossible.
Good question. You will see it’s not an an oxymoron, if you’ll allow me to explain why.
Gnostic/Agnostic refers to knowledge. Theist/atheist refers to belief.
"If a man has failed to find any good reason for believing that there is a God, it is perfectly natural and rational that he should not believe that there is a God; and if so, he is an atheist… if he goes farther, and, after an investigation into the nature and reach of human knowledge, ending in the conclusion that the existence of God is incapable of proof, cease to believe in it on the ground that he cannot know it to be true, he is an agnostic and also an atheist "
~some dude named Robert Flint. I dunno who he is but he explains it very well.
However, since you admit that the existence of God is possible, I challenge you to be acutely aware in the future of what you’ve been assuming are coincidences. Many of us refer to them as Godincidences. Be skeptical, that’s fine, but keep an open mind as to when they come about, how they come about, and what happens because of these “coincidences.” Maybe, just maybe, you’ll see God working in your life. You may not know Him, but He knows you very well. He’s not giving up on you.
I will keep that in mind. Coincidences are not the type of thing that would convince me though.
In my experience, anyone who states they don’t have an agenda are the ones who, clearly, do. They must deceive themselves before they, in an illusion of good conscience, go out to deceive others.
I am here for the interesting discussions, to express my opinions and listen to others, to learn about Catholicism and converse with people with starkly different beliefs than mine. I have no intent to deceive anyone.

Going back to this:
Right! Don’t waste your time trying to find Truth. Make it up as you go, as long as it makes you feel comfortable. :nope:
I assume you believe God is love or some similar type of concept, right? Does that make you happy, or - gasp - comfortable? How comforting that must be, that God loves you. Awwwww
:rolleyes:
 
Today I tried to read, and I read the chapter in Matthew with the sheep and goats, where Jesus said “and whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me” It sounds like what you DO is the main thing in life, what you believe or profess is a secondary thing.

Now this is easy to say but harder to do, how can I help anyone if I don’t relate to him or her first, how can I help anyone if I’m not OK with myself. By not OK, I mean not completely honest with myself, always chasing deadlines at work, earning good money but at the cost of relationships and friendships. I’d rather have less money and more time for the “try to do good” part. This is like a vicious circle, if I lose the job then I end up in the needy crowd, maybe I got to reconsider my whole career path or take some time off and try to do some volunteering for a few months instead.

This is how I understood “faith” most of the time, as a commitment to live a good selfless life and make the world a better place, with the “organized religion” maybe being a method of meeting other people in need and gaining some strength for the task.

It looks like this doubt in God is forcing me to re-consider my life goals and my career.

The religious belief has been acting too much as a barrier between me and other people, it makes me act like a hypocrite. It could well be that If I get back the resources for living as Jesus advises to live, the spiritual trust in God could return.

But right now there’s no way I’ll be “Prepared to give reason for the hope that I have” any time soon. If asked my only honest answer is “I don’t know” and “I’m just struggling to survive until next day and keep alive”.
 
Sounds like you are in the dark groping about. Christ came and gave us the light of faith.
He said to Peter that his Father gave him the faith. That is where you will find it again, from the Father, nowhere else. You’re in darkness. Don’t give into temptation. That is just what it is. There are faith,hope,charity, and any one of these can be doubted. Just resist.

We can be at fault or God can be testing us. He tested Job, and Job kept saying “blessed be the name of the Lord.” The devil couldn’t fool Job and make him give up his trust in the Lord.

On the other hand, when someone begins to live the life of a pagan who does not believe in God, then they start believing like a pagan, there is no God.

I can tell you one way you will win this battle. Get the miraculous medal of Mary, have it blessed, and don’t take it off. Then consecrate yourself to Mary, putting your whole self in her care, and dedicating your whole life to Jesus, thru her immaculate heart. Use your own words.

Whenever you begin to have problem thoughts, hold the medal in your hands, and tell Mary that she promised you help if you would pray for it, and then say to her, I am now asking for that help. Relax and do something else, and she will see you thru it.

The miraculous medal is her gift to us because she cares deeply for each one of us.
We are her children, all of us. Just trust her and she will do it. That was her promise.

Just some important thoughts.
 
Today I tried to read, and I read the chapter in Matthew with the sheep and goats, where Jesus said “and whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me” It sounds like what you DO is the main thing in life, what you believe or profess is a secondary thing.

Now this is easy to say but harder to do, how can I help anyone if I don’t relate to him or her first, how can I help anyone if I’m not OK with myself. By not OK, I mean not completely honest with myself, always chasing deadlines at work, earning good money but at the cost of relationships and friendships. I’d rather have less money and more time for the “try to do good” part. This is like a vicious circle, if I lose the job then I end up in the needy crowd, maybe I got to reconsider my whole career path or take some time off and try to do some volunteering for a few months instead.

This is how I understood “faith” most of the time, as a commitment to live a good selfless life and make the world a better place, with the “organized religion” maybe being a method of meeting other people in need and gaining some strength for the task.

It looks like this doubt in God is forcing me to re-consider my life goals and my career.

The religious belief has been acting too much as a barrier between me and other people, it makes me act like a hypocrite. It could well be that If I get back the resources for living as Jesus advises to live, the spiritual trust in God could return.

But right now there’s no way I’ll be “Prepared to give reason for the hope that I have” any time soon. If asked my only honest answer is “I don’t know” and “I’m just struggling to survive until next day and keep alive”.
Here’s hoping you find the strength to get through this thing you’re going through :console:
 
A short update …
The next day after posting my last message here I went out on the street. Started talking to people and practicing Finnish again. Talked to two close friends about this rift in my mind. Also went to the forest and to the lakeshore. High waves were roaring and covering the reeds with icy decorations. Then on Friday the first snow came and lighted up the nordic darkness. Somehow it also cheered up my heart.
If God exists, God is great.
Thank you all for your posts here. You helped me.

– Jiri
 
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