M
MVXC
Guest
Hi everyone,
It’s been an odd few months for me. Up until recently, i was suffering from a lot of apathy, which was a horrible enough plague in itself, but now I’m suffering from doubt, not in Christ, but in the Catholic church.
I’m not sure if I can p(name removed by moderator)oint any specific issue which has caused me to drift from Catholicism recently. I’ll try to go into how I got out of my spirit of apathy, because that’s kind of where I think it began.
I wasn’t really feeling God for a very long time, and my prayer life had been suffering, dwindling to nonexistence since June. I still attended Mass every Sunday, but that wasn’t really the revival it used to be. I just wasn’t really feeling anything.
Then one day I was in a used bookstore and saw the “Left Behind” series. I’d heard about it, and was curious, so I picked it up. I was drawn in by the idea of the Rapture, and even more so by the main characters, whose conversions to Christ made so much sense and just seemed so spiritually pure I suppose.
It wasn’t until I read the first few chapters of “Tribulation Force” (the second novel in the trilogy) that I realized there was a blatant attack on Catholicism in the books. To be brief, it basically said that the only Catholics who were taken to heaven by God were those who opposed orthodoxy and leaned toward less traditional ways of worship and following God.
I stopped reading it right then, but it made me think.
These novels had gotten me praying again. I thought a bad tree couldn’t bear good fruit? This was where my doubt sort of began.
Additionally, after starting to read these books, I discovered a Christian radio station with a variety of (usually nondenominational) sermons and quiet worship music which I had become quite attached to during the rides to school and such. After reading the anti-Catholic bit in Left Behind, I was left a bit more cautious of any non-Catholic media. Since then I’ve stopped listening to this radio station too.
Over my time in innocently reading Left Behind and listening to Protestant sermons… well, I think I’ve started to become more attracted to them. I mean, I still believe in Purgatory, and the intercession of the saints and in essence all of the fundamental Catholic doctrines, but the Protestant style of worship, prayer, preaching, and the whole oft-repeated “personal relationship with God” thing is just so attractive to me. For lack of a better way of putting it, I think I’m thinking along the lines of C.S. Lewis.
I’m almost 18. I sense that soon enough I’ll be making some big decisions about my faith. How can I get these Protestant ideas out of my head? I’ve read all the CA articles I can get my hands on, but I still find myself being able to look at issues from both sides and seeing them drawn inconclusive. It’s not really the debates that are bothering me, it’s the emotions and feelings of closeness to God which I really desire.
It’s been an odd few months for me. Up until recently, i was suffering from a lot of apathy, which was a horrible enough plague in itself, but now I’m suffering from doubt, not in Christ, but in the Catholic church.
I’m not sure if I can p(name removed by moderator)oint any specific issue which has caused me to drift from Catholicism recently. I’ll try to go into how I got out of my spirit of apathy, because that’s kind of where I think it began.
I wasn’t really feeling God for a very long time, and my prayer life had been suffering, dwindling to nonexistence since June. I still attended Mass every Sunday, but that wasn’t really the revival it used to be. I just wasn’t really feeling anything.
Then one day I was in a used bookstore and saw the “Left Behind” series. I’d heard about it, and was curious, so I picked it up. I was drawn in by the idea of the Rapture, and even more so by the main characters, whose conversions to Christ made so much sense and just seemed so spiritually pure I suppose.
It wasn’t until I read the first few chapters of “Tribulation Force” (the second novel in the trilogy) that I realized there was a blatant attack on Catholicism in the books. To be brief, it basically said that the only Catholics who were taken to heaven by God were those who opposed orthodoxy and leaned toward less traditional ways of worship and following God.
I stopped reading it right then, but it made me think.
These novels had gotten me praying again. I thought a bad tree couldn’t bear good fruit? This was where my doubt sort of began.
Additionally, after starting to read these books, I discovered a Christian radio station with a variety of (usually nondenominational) sermons and quiet worship music which I had become quite attached to during the rides to school and such. After reading the anti-Catholic bit in Left Behind, I was left a bit more cautious of any non-Catholic media. Since then I’ve stopped listening to this radio station too.
Over my time in innocently reading Left Behind and listening to Protestant sermons… well, I think I’ve started to become more attracted to them. I mean, I still believe in Purgatory, and the intercession of the saints and in essence all of the fundamental Catholic doctrines, but the Protestant style of worship, prayer, preaching, and the whole oft-repeated “personal relationship with God” thing is just so attractive to me. For lack of a better way of putting it, I think I’m thinking along the lines of C.S. Lewis.
I’m almost 18. I sense that soon enough I’ll be making some big decisions about my faith. How can I get these Protestant ideas out of my head? I’ve read all the CA articles I can get my hands on, but I still find myself being able to look at issues from both sides and seeing them drawn inconclusive. It’s not really the debates that are bothering me, it’s the emotions and feelings of closeness to God which I really desire.
This is a good thing :yup: