Download AntiCatbot today!

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Scott Waddell:
Actually, there are rumors of Easter eggs like a minigame called Canon Cannon where the player must shoot down papal bulls, encyclicals, deutercanonical scriptures, and council decrees before they reach the faithful. You win by holding them off until the year 1517 when God creates ex nihilo a completed KJV and drops it directly into the hands of the Reformers.

Or the Geneology Simulator which invents a string of evidence to show that your denomination can trace its origins back to the 1st century. Great for people tired of their arguments being obliterated by the mere fact of the Catholic Church’s existence for 1500 years prior to the Reformers.

Scott
Hmmm… don’t for get that as a Random feature of the GS that AntiCathBot would even state that they can trace back to one of the churches mentioned in the book of Revelations
 
Scott Waddell:
Download AntiCatbot 2.0 today!

Yes! It’s finally here! Now you can have the best of everything! The personal infallibility of Sola Scriptura! The anonymity of the of the Internet! Power without accountability! All in a convenient bot that will free up your valuable time to disperse Jack Chick tracts

Dowload this easy to use program, enter in the Catholic forum’s address and watch as it automatically posts on the boards ad nauseum! A small but effective library of topics recycled ensures that the Catholic board members will be tied up answering the same questions hundreds of times! Just look at these great thread titles:

Proof of papal primacy??
Mariolatry
Infant baptism not biblical!
Which will you choose: Jesus or religion?
Nun leaves church! Praise God!

And many more!

BUT THAT’S NOT ALL!

AntiCatbot does not just post topics. It responds as well! Using state of the art God-breathed Logic AI, the repsonses are guaranteed to keep the argument going round and round. Such as: “Why shouldn’t Maccabees be in the Bible.” “Because it is not inspired.” “How do you know it’s not inspired?” “Because it’s not in the Bible.” and so on.
And the responses are customizable! Set variables from Answer questions with a question to Completely ignore responses and post random Catholic caricature."

NEW FOR VERSION 2.0!

We are always improving and now feature the Customizable Personality Matrix. Set levels ranging from “Deceptively amiable and inquisitive” to “Contemptuously rhetorical” and all the way up to “Overt hostility”! Our new Lawyer Mode detects potentially thoughtful responses longer than a paragraph and posts: “Is that a yes or a no?”

Being banned? No Problem! AntiCatbot detects this and automatically registers under a new username and IP. It also detects links to other Catholic boards, registers and posts the IDENTICAL QUESTIONS!

You will love our new Scripture Spammer as it selects and posts Scripture passages at random regardless of context or appropriateness to the topic.

And don’t forget or new Catholic-on-Catholic feature: AntiCatbot posts questions about Novus Ordo, Vatican II, salvation outside of the church, and SSPX. Turn it on and watch the fur fly!

Wait ‘till you get your hands on our ECF Obfuscator. Support any doctrine with this feature. Bible only, faith alone, snake-handling, the Rapture—you name it! Switch it to ‘dismantle’, enter the Catholic teaching you want to destroy and watch the Elipticator chop up and spam Church Father quotes and soon those guys will look like a pack of slavering monkeys!

Turn on our Biblical Numerology feature and watch it post some mind-boggling calculations:

Matt. 21:17-- “And leaving them, he went out of the city into Bethany and lodged there.” = 492

1 Cor. 1:15-- “Because I was sure of this I wanted to…” = 167

Daniel 5:9-- “…and…” = 7

492 + 167 + 7 = 666! THE POPE IS THE ANTICHRIST!


So don’t delay! Get your copy of AntiCatbot now!

And remember, once installed always installed!
I believe it’s a joke… :rotfl:

But after some the horrers I’ve seen, :eek: Not only am I not so sure, but i’ve begun to think these filks have expanded their product line! 😃 :bigyikes:

Blessings and Peace, Michael
 
Scott,

Why did you just post tihs now? I would have proposed this for my MS InfoTech thesis! Now I’ll have to do it for my MA Religious Ed. instead 🙂
[/quote]

Scott:

Why not BOTH?! 👍

If you succeed, we’ll all have to :bowdown:

So you’d better to get to :hmmm:

:whacky: Michael
 
I’m waiting for Version 3.0 😃

I think this is my favorite feature:
AntiCatbot does not just post topics. It responds as well! Using state of the art God-breathed Logic AI, the repsonses are guaranteed to keep the argument going round and round. Such as: “Why shouldn’t Maccabees be in the Bible.” “Because it is not inspired.” “How do you know it’s not inspired?” “Because it’s not in the Bible.” and so on.
And the responses are customizable! Set variables from Answer questions with a question to Completely ignore responses and post random Catholic caricature."
I’m also partial to this one:
Turn on our Biblical Numerology feature and watch it post some mind-boggling calculations:
Matt. 21:17-- “And leaving them, he went out of the city into Bethany and lodged there.” = 492
1 Cor. 1:15-- “Because I was sure of this I wanted to…” = 167
Daniel 5:9-- “…and…” = 7
492 + 167 + 7 = 666! THE POPE IS THE ANTICHRIST!
This is even more hilarious than the yourgoingtohell website!
 
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teajay:
This reminds me of a post on The Curt Jester website.

http://www.splendoroftruth.com/curtjester/Pics/sinbot_main.jpg

Click here.

I think both are pretty funny. :yup:
i could use this one!😃
 
What a great way to wake up this morning with some thought out humor!

-I can imagine the JW version:

AntiCathbot V. 3.0JW
It rewrites Scripture to match it’s own point of view.

-When you try to ask questions it is not programed for, the program notifies the product registration site and sends a more sophiscated download of responses (elder) to assist in the arguments.

-The program initiates PopUps automatically to make you continue to know ‘it’s’ point of view

-And if all that fails, the program will prevent your computer from ever shutting down until it wants to reveive the response IT wants.

…The Mormon version convinces you that YOU will be a god.
 
Thanks, Scott for a good laugh! I especially love the Joe-Catholic piece by Envoy. :irish2:
 
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Edwin1961:
What a great way to wake up this morning with some thought out humor!

-I can imagine the JW version:

AntiCathbot V. 3.0JW
It rewrites Scripture to match it’s own point of view.

-When you try to ask questions it is not programed for, the program notifies the product registration site and sends a more sophiscated download of responses (elder) to assist in the arguments.

-The program initiates PopUps automatically to make you continue to know ‘it’s’ point of view

-And if all that fails, the program will prevent your computer from ever shutting down until it wants to reveive the response IT wants.

…The Mormon version convinces you that YOU will be a god.
Ooooh! ACTUALLY, on another site, when I could get on and argue against & ask questions about what this one JW was saying, she refused to talk to me and a few others (both Catholic and Protestant) because we would use logic against her and she would call us “Demon Afflicted”😃 😃 😃 Oh! I shall never forget that!!!
 
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Lorarose:
That site is scary 😦
I found the site to be hilarious and sad. Hilarious because of the music and the bad grammar. I also like the “Hellbound of the Month.” I didn’t know Ted Turner and John Travolta are both going to hell. Who would want to go to heaven if those two guys are going to be in hell? They need to have Al Franken be the "Hellbound of the Month."

It’s sad because it knows nothing of the Catholic Church. It blatantly misrepresents every Church doctrine. It is also very vitriolic towards the Church, which means it is very vitriolic towards Jesus Christ, since you cannot separate the head from the body.
 
The movie is groovy in a spooky sort of way.

I don’t want Vinny Barbarino to go to hell!
And even though I disagree with Al Franken on…just about everything - I don’t want Stuart Smalley to go to hell either!!

It is funny they seem SO SURE about who is hellbound, I mean…that’s God’s department isn’t it?
 
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Edwin1961:
What a great way to wake up this morning with some thought out humor!

-I can imagine the JW version:

AntiCathbot V. 3.0JW
It rewrites Scripture to match it’s own point of view.

-When you try to ask questions it is not programed for, the program notifies the product registration site and sends a more sophiscated download of responses (elder) to assist in the arguments.

-The program initiates PopUps automatically to make you continue to know ‘it’s’ point of view

-And if all that fails, the program will prevent your computer from ever shutting down until it wants to reveive the response IT wants.

…The Mormon version convinces you that YOU will be a god.
And then there’s AntiCathbot V. 3.0 SDA. Similar functions as JW, but also with SoulSleep/Wrath of God Mode, Ellen G.WhiteSuperSunday 666 Mark of the Beast endless Sabbath debate thread with popups. Oh and don’t forget ScapeGoatSatan mode! :rotfl:

Pax Tecum,

John
 
Looks like another Jack Chick production, but we know all about him already (or do we?):

forums.catholic-questions.org/showthread.php?t=68467

AntiCatBot is an attempt to deal with a typically sinister Vatican plot:

Vatican acquires Internet Explorer and Netscape Communicator
Stockmarkets worldwide and especially the Internet software industry was shaken today by news with profound ramifications. Signo Coelestis, an artificial intelligence (AI) company based in and owned by the Vatican State, has acquired the rights to the two most popular WWW browser programs, “Microsoft Internet Explorer” and “Netscape Communicator”. The deal was closed with the Pope’s blessing. “We are happy to find our products in good hands” announced the sellers in a joint statement.

Signo Coelestis will according to preliminary reports develop the two programs into a unified product incorporating the company’s own AI technology for information-flow quality control. This technology has already proven its worth in the successful JE-Suite software bundle.

Plans are being drawn up to release the next, unified version of Internet Explorer and Communicator on Easter Sunday in 2000 AD as “Internet Excommunicator”.

Martin Rundkvist, Stockholm, 17 november 1997

Taken from: alt.humour (posted by Martin Rundkvist).
Author: Uncertain

above found at:web.ukonline.co.uk/eric.price/humour2/hum0240.htm
 
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