Dr. Laura

[bmaj]

I was in outside sales, driving around in my car calling on customers all day long, when I started listening to dr. Laura back in 1998. It was because of her that I became a stay-at-home mom. I will always be greatful to Dr. Laura.

What a beautiful testament to Dr. Laura! And so wonderful that you were able to make that decision and be able to carry it through.
I have also learned several beneficial tips from her books that have assisted in helping keep my marriage of over 30 years continuing under God’s care and grace. Sometimes I need all the help I can get!!!
Hugs to you and your family.

 

[Al_Masetti]

AND, she’s very pro-life.

 

[Ailina]

Um, just because she had some past indiscretions does not mean she shouldn’t be listened too. St. Augustine also had “indiscretions” in his past. Should we disregard him?

Please explain to me how infidelity causes you to be unable to give good, sound, and qualified advice to other people. She also has a master’s in counseling.
/QUOTE]

I didn’t know Dr. Laura was being nominated for sainthood. As the spouse of a person who had committed adultery numerous times, my judgement regarding Dr. Laura might be off. She likes to point the fingers at the person NOT committing adultery rather than the one who does. It’s a painful enough discovery to find that out in a marriage. No need to be beaten and blamed for it too, by the likes of Dr. Laura. She seems to like to kick them when they’re down. How compassionate of her.

 

[SaltySirena]

I have no idea about any adulterous affairs on Dr. Laura’s part. Never heard that before.

I do like her, but I have been getting more uncomfortable with what Ailina describes over the past couple of years. It’s like she doesn’t even get any information on some of the calls before she jumps all over the wife. I have caught myself thinking, “Jeez, don’t you have ANY requirements for the guys in these situations?!” I agree with a lot of what she says about how to be a good wife, but sometimes she’s just so vehement about it, I find myself thinking, “What is she compensating for?”

I guess she taught me to psychoanalyze people well. It’s like that line from Hamlet. Methinks the lady doth protest too much!

 

[dsulpizio]

Salty:
I think Dr. Laura is like me and we see that women have become more and more base, neglecting their families, not taking pride in nurturing husband or kids. Men have always been men, but women are sinking fast, putting career, educational and materialistic gratification before family and beating men at their own game of adultery.

I think it is this trend that leads Dr. Laura to come down hard on women.

 

[pelerin]

I used to like Dr. Laura even though she’s an ex catholic. Now I prefer Dr. Ray Guarendi! He’s a little more laid back, respecful and understands Church teachings. Can’t beat that!

 

[TeresaAnn]

Salty:
I think Dr. Laura is like me and we see that women have become more and more base, neglecting their families, not taking pride in nurturing husband or kids. Men have always been men, but women are sinking fast, putting career, educational and materialistic gratification before family and beating men at their own game of adultery.

I think it is this trend that leads Dr. Laura to come down hard on women.

Men have always been men? You mean like they put career, educational and materialistic gratification before family and make a game out of adultery? I don’t think you give them much credit. Poor men

I don’t listen or read Dr L but if she puts all the responsibility on women, I don’t plan too.

Some of those changes you mention happen because women have had to step up to the plate and fill in when the men flake off. This happens a lot doesn’t it? I think that women who berate other women for working or getting an education tend to have unusually cushy lives with decent husbands. That makes you the kick 'em when they are down types too. Your marriages are not typical out side of this board. I would like to hear what you would do if your world fell apart and hubby wasn’t there anymore. This happens, and quite shockingly it is not always the woman’s fault. I also hope you all have a plan “B” as well.

What would you do? Would you still preach?

I notice a trend on this board. Women have many additional expectations, usually put on us by other women, sometimes not. I would like to know why no one asks why a lot of men are failing miserably at being husbands, providers and spiritual leaders of the household? It’s probably because those men aren’t here. It is one of the core faults that brake a family though. It should be pondered.

Maybe I’ll make a thread about it later.

 

[shannyk]

Dr Laura I’m sure has some good advice and some decent insight, but I can’ stand to listen to her. If she talked to me or anyone I care about the way she talks to some of those WOMEN (always women) callers, I’d be hard pressed to keep my composure.

The lady is PROJECTING big time.

As to her affairs, I thought that was pretty much a known, confirmed thing. From what I know she had two while she was married and lived with her now husband for several while she was still married to her ex. I’m not knocking her for past mistakes, just sayin…

 

[KCT]

I do like her, but I have been getting more uncomfortable with what Ailina describes over the past couple of years. It’s like she doesn’t even get any information on some of the calls before she jumps all over the wife. I have caught myself thinking, “Jeez, don’t you have ANY requirements for the guys in these situations?!” I agree with a lot of what she says about how to be a good wife, but sometimes she’s just so vehement about it, I find myself thinking, “What is she compensating for?”

I heard some of her show while we were driving through New England last week. She did jump all over some women, but it was the women who called. She was addressing her caller. When men called, she was just as tough with them.

I think the heart of her advice is good (treating each other w/ respect, meeting each other’s needs etc), but I think I’ll stick w/ Greg Popcak. He’s less abrasive, not to mention Catholic.

 

[dsulpizio]

TeresaAn:
‘Men have always been men’ just means that men ususally had a tougher time being monogamous, had to be domesticated, etc. My 75 yr old priest said that when he was younger, he noticed men having to ‘shape up’ when they got married because their wives had high standards and expectations for them…he said that it seems that women now are as undomesticated and base in their behaviors as men have been. I agree whole heartedly and I think that this is what Dr. Laura’s points to as well.
This does not mean that there are not awesome dads and husbands…stop dismissing my point with polemics!
It is also true that many men are not real men and have neglected their duties to lead their families in faith, to provide for them and to be the head of the household…consequently, women have had to step up…none of this negates what I have said.

You still have many women who put academic, professional and material gratification before family. The fastest growing group admitting to adultery is now women. etc etc.

I say all of this as a single mom who works full time who allowed myself to be fired from one job for not being willing to take conference calls at an office at 4pm (when I can take those calls anywhere, like at the school while picking up my kids) and to resign another plumb position in order to take lower paying position that allows me to work out of my home in order to take care of my kids myself. I don’t date or do anything that will compromise my kids’ security or values. So, I’m not one who has a husband supporting me or a cushy life that allows me to be the one taking care of my kds…I went thru a lot of hardship and insecurity in order to insure that I had a job that allowed me to be at home when my kids are finished w/ school for the day.

When I was married, it was Dr. Laura who railed about moms who work who could probably rearrange their lives in order to be at home and chose not to…she challenged us working moms to look at things from our kids’ perspectives…she said, “you are their favorite person…let them have you”…I resigned and was at home for 7 years due to her aggressive rantings, thank God!

We had to make it on half of our income and I had no car, since I had to turn in my company car when I resigned. We took on some debt, but overall, it was the best thing for my family and kids.

Now, as a single mom, I’m at the gym at 5:30 with women who go from working all day straight to the gym. They don’t even bother to get home to fix dinner for their families. (don’t criticise me for being at the gym at 5:30…we have dinner together at 4:30)

Yes, there are a lot of undomesticated and selfish women out there now and as I said before, this is what may fuel Dr. Laura when she gets a hold of one of them on her talk show. More power to her.

Personally, I needed to hear her message and her disdain for women like me who had put money and career above family responsibilities and for those that pick loser men to have sex with, which will almost guarantee a broken home and hardship for our kids.

We women have the power to make society so much better with the men we choose to be involved with and the way we raise our kids and conduct our personal lives. Generally speaking, we are not doing a good job of it right now.

I think society tends to have higher standards for women because somen have met those standards more often. When we women behave like men, it disappoints me more.

 

[TeresaAnn]

TeresaAn:
‘Men have always been men’ just means that men ususally had a tougher time being monogamous, had to be domesticated, etc. My 75 yr old priest said that when he was younger, he noticed men having to ‘shape up’ when they got married because their wives had high standards and expectations for them…he said that it seems that women now are as undomesticated and base in their behaviors as men have been. I agree whole heartedly and I think that this is what Dr. Laura’s points to as well.
This does not mean that there are not awesome dads and husbands…stop dismissing my point with polemics!
It is also true that many men are not real men and have neglected their duties to lead their families in faith, to provide for them and to be the head of the household…consequently, women have had to step up…none of this negates what I have said.

You still have many women who put academic, professional and material gratification before family. The fastest growing group admitting to adultery is now women. etc etc.

I say all of this as a single mom who works full time who allowed myself to be fired from one job for not being willing to take conference calls at an office at 4pm (when I can take those calls anywhere, like at the school while picking up my kids) and to resign another plumb position in order to take lower paying position that allows me to work out of my home in order to take care of my kids myself. I don’t date or do anything that will compromise my kids’ security or values. So, I’m not one who has a husband supporting me or a cushy life that allows me to be the one taking care of my kds…I went thru a lot of hardship and insecurity in order to insure that I had a job that allowed me to be at home when my kids are finished w/ school for the day.

When I was married, it was Dr. Laura who railed about moms who work who could probably rearrange their lives in order to be at home and chose not to…she challenged us working moms to look at things from our kids’ perspectives…she said, “you are their favorite person…let them have you”…I resigned and was at home for 7 years due to her aggressive rantings, thank God!

We had to make it on half of our income and I had no car, since I had to turn in my company car when I resigned. We took on some debt, but overall, it was the best thing for my family and kids.

Now, as a single mom, I’m at the gym at 5:30 with women who go from working all day straight to the gym. They don’t even bother to get home to fix dinner for their families. (don’t criticise me for being at the gym at 5:30…we have dinner together at 4:30)

Yes, there are a lot of undomesticated and selfish women out there now and as I said before, this is what may fuel Dr. Laura when she gets a hold of one of them on her talk show. More power to her.

Personally, I needed to hear her message and her disdain for women like me who had put money and career above family responsibilities and for those that pick loser men to have sex with, which will almost guarantee a broken home and hardship for our kids.

We women have the power to make society so much better with the men we choose to be involved with and the way we raise our kids and conduct our personal lives. Generally speaking, we are not doing a good job of it right now.

I think society tends to have higher standards for women because somen have met those standards more often. When we women behave like men, it disappoints me more.

dsulpizio my dear, your answer confuses me further still!

We happen to have very similar lives, right down to going to the gym at 5:30 I was a SAHM for 10 yrs before the marriage finally blew up. Another similarity.

So, I can relate with you wholeheartedly as a Mom. You sound like a great one. With the expectations you have of women, it makes me think that the marriage ending was probably not your fault.

I just don’t relate with the low expectations you have of men in general. I just don’t feel that way. Yes, there are some great husbands and fathers and there are a lot that let the lower expectation society puts on them do as they please.

My view is also shaped because I’m the mother of 4 boys and I do have expectations of them to be everything we all can be. So far, so good Am I terrified they will end up as one of these selfish men? Absolutely. However I am doing all that I can to try to shape them into good men.

I was thinking about my view that an unequal pressure is put upon women to make a marriage and family work and came to the conclusion that I would rather be in the group with the higher expectations demanded of them. I am even seeking out more responsibility and expectations in the future if God wills it by becoming a nun when my sons are all grown and independent.

I wish you the best my dear, God bless you and your family,

Teresa

 

[SMHW]

I was thinking about my view that an unequal pressure is put upon women to make a marriage and family work and came to the conclusion that I would rather be in the group with the higher expectations demanded of them.

I think that one of Dr. Laura’s themes is that the “unequal pressure” put upon women to make marriage and family “work” is built into the sex. It’s largely biological. (For men, it’s the provider aspect.) She’s all for equality but not in the usually understood politically correct way.

 

[TeresaAnn]

I think that one of Dr. Laura’s themes is that the “unequal pressure” put upon women to make marriage and family “work” is built into the sex. It’s largely biological. (For men, it’s the provider aspect.) She’s all for equality but not in the usually understood politically correct way.

Ok, I hear what you and dsulpizio are saying and perhaps I am the one with incorrect view. You learn things every day, Thanks.

Just so I understand, women are considered biologically superior at fostering and maintaining relationships between married couples. Perhaps relationships in general? I say this because they are suppossed to raise the children as well.

I can accept that. If the men are ok with this understanding than who am I to argue? The examples we see of the reversal of traits must be the exceptions. We all know some men with exceptional relationship skills and women who are selfish.

Your point is that more and more women are becoming the selfish types, almost catching up to the number of these types of men. Perhaps. Perhaps it is weighed out with the number of poor provider men out there. Could make an interesting study.

Cause and effect. Which came first the chicken or the egg? Probably.

I’d like to hear from the men though, do you accept this understanding about your core nature? As a woman I do feel good at the relationship aspect, I also know I can provide for my family since I have had too. I do say had to, because this was not my choice. If I were a man, I would prefer to have both talents as well.

 

[Ailina]

TeresaAn:
‘Men have always been men’ just means that men ususally had a tougher time being monogamous, had to be domesticated, etc. My 75 yr old priest said that when he was younger, he noticed men having to ‘shape up’ when they got married because their wives had high standards and expectations for them…he said that it seems that women now are as undomesticated and base in their behaviors as men have been. I agree whole heartedly and I think that this is what Dr. Laura’s points to as well.
This does not mean that there are not awesome dads and husbands…stop dismissing my point with polemics!
It is also true that many men are not real men and have neglected their duties to lead their families in faith, to provide for them and to be the head of the household…consequently, women have had to step up…none of this negates what I have said.

You still have many women who put academic, professional and material gratification before family. The fastest growing group admitting to adultery is now women. etc etc.

I say all of this as a single mom who works full time who allowed myself to be fired from one job for not being willing to take conference calls at an office at 4pm (when I can take those calls anywhere, like at the school while picking up my kids) and to resign another plumb position in order to take lower paying position that allows me to work out of my home in order to take care of my kids myself. I don’t date or do anything that will compromise my kids’ security or values. So, I’m not one who has a husband supporting me or a cushy life that allows me to be the one taking care of my kds…I went thru a lot of hardship and insecurity in order to insure that I had a job that allowed me to be at home when my kids are finished w/ school for the day.

When I was married, it was Dr. Laura who railed about moms who work who could probably rearrange their lives in order to be at home and chose not to…she challenged us working moms to look at things from our kids’ perspectives…she said, “you are their favorite person…let them have you”…I resigned and was at home for 7 years due to her aggressive rantings, thank God!

We had to make it on half of our income and I had no car, since I had to turn in my company car when I resigned. We took on some debt, but overall, it was the best thing for my family and kids.

Now, as a single mom, I’m at the gym at 5:30 with women who go from working all day straight to the gym. They don’t even bother to get home to fix dinner for their families. (don’t criticise me for being at the gym at 5:30…we have dinner together at 4:30)

Yes, there are a lot of undomesticated and selfish women out there now and as I said before, this is what may fuel Dr. Laura when she gets a hold of one of them on her talk show. More power to her.

Personally, I needed to hear her message and her disdain for women like me who had put money and career above family responsibilities and for those that pick loser men to have sex with, which will almost guarantee a broken home and hardship for our kids.

We women have the power to make society so much better with the men we choose to be involved with and the way we raise our kids and conduct our personal lives. Generally speaking, we are not doing a good job of it right now.

I think society tends to have higher standards for women because somen have met those standards more often. When we women behave like men, it disappoints me more.

So…just a curious question? Where is your husband now? I had no power over my husband, and if I did, I’m pretty sure Dr. Laura would call me a control freak and berate me for that. I DO have higher standards, which is why I’m divorced.

I’m also very glad that I put off having children until after I got a good post-secondary education; otherwise, my children and I would be living on the street. Historically, there have been too many women who have been trapped in horrific marriages with men who didn’t give a fig about them. With no means to support themselves, far too many women have been trapped in situations that carry on the dysfunction to their children. That does no favours to future generations either.

Funny that Dr. Laura, who has quite an education and career, would slam other women who do as well. I honestly think she’s a bit of a hypocrite.

 

[SaltySirena]

Funny that Dr. Laura, who has quite an education and career, would slam other women who do as well. I honestly think she’s a bit of a hypocrite.

You really should listen to her before you go slamming her. What she tells young women is to GET their education and wait to marry and have children until they are done with that! So it seems you followed her advice to a T.

 

[Ailina]

You really should listen to her before you go slamming her. What she tells young women is to GET their education and wait to marry and have children until they are done with that! So it seems you followed her advice to a T.

That education will quickly be rendered useless if there is no work experience to go with it. In this world of no-fault divorce, it is far too easy for spouses to walk without any consequences. If a spouse has spent too much time out of the workforce and staying home, she isn’t as likely to get his/her education recognized because her skills will be considered out of date. So darned if she does stay home and darned if she doesn’t.

I won’t listen to a woman who is as harsh as Dr. Laura is to her callers. I have heard her once or twice; her advice isn’t always sound.

 

[SaltySirena]

That education will quickly be rendered useless if there is no work experience to go with it.

Ugh. You just used the “you’re wasting your degree” slam against SAHMs. Burned my blood the first time I heard it, and burns my blood now. And tell me, just how the hell am I wasting my education when I use it to educate my own children, either when I used to home school, or now in a supplemental role? It’s a WASTE to be a well-educated mother? I guess those of us who always knew we wanted to be SAHMs should have dropped out of high school and just gotten down to the breedin’ huh?

If you choose the right man, there is no danger in being a SAHM. If you choose a guy with no character who would walk out on you… well, whose fault is that?!

Not everyone’s value is limited to their paycheck.

 

[TeresaAnn]

Ugh. You just used the “you’re wasting your degree” slam against SAHMs. Burned my blood the first time I heard it, and burns my blood now. And tell me, just how the hell am I wasting my education when I use it to educate my own children, either when I used to home school, or now in a supplemental role? It’s a WASTE to be a well-educated mother? I guess those of us who always knew we wanted to be SAHMs should have dropped out of high school and just gotten down to the breedin’ huh?

**If you choose the right man, there is no danger in being a SAHM. If you choose a guy with no character who would walk out on you… well, whose fault is that?!

Not everyone’s value is limited to their paycheck.**

Woaaaaaaah there… did you just say that??? WOW hun, you have no idea. Just no idea.

I mean it, ouch.

In the interest of being “charitable” I’m just going to let your comment hang there and radiate all it’s ugliness so you may bask in it in front of everyone.

I will pray for you.

 

[JimG]

I haven’t listened to Dr. Laura in a long time because she is no longer carried on any radio stations in my area. So my impressions of her are probably outdated.

When I used to travel extensively for my job by car, I would listen to her for the entertainment value. It bothered me when she cut callers off too soon, because I wanted to hear more of their stories.

I recall that she did seem to emphasize choosing the right man. Women would call with numerous complaints about their husbands, and her response was, “well, who chose him?” Often it seemed that many of her callers really were women who had a knack for choosing the wrong men. “Why do they do that?” I would think. But I still don’t know the answer.

But I also think that it’s a lot harder now to choose the right man than it used to be, because contraception, abortion, and no-fault divorce, have handed all the power to men.

 

[dsulpizio]

Ailina,
My (ex) husband is in the same city and sees the girls frequently and we do things together for the sake of the kids but reconciliation is not an option since he will not go to long-term anger mgmt (he has been to court appointed, but it was short sessions that didn’t really help) and he still feels justified in having moved out, so he could do it again.

I got married as an atheist and even talked about leaving if things ‘didnt go well’…my fault for doing so. I didn’t have high standards in picking a man and my lack of belief in God was why. I knew what I was getting in the man that I picked…selfish of me to have done it because, sure enough, now my kids are in a broken home because I didn’t choose better.

It’s important to finish college and work a bit before marriage. Once you are married, there should be no reason to delay motherhood. And, yes, if we pick right to begin with, being a SAHM is not a gamble. It’s up to us and we have the responsibility to give our kids (and ourselves) men who will ‘do right’ over a lifetime. I see women (myself) not handle this responsibility with maturity over and over and over…

Dr. Laura points this reality out and I’m glad she does.