Dressing for Mass?

[Becca3]

Hi folks. I have been going to Mass for the past two Sundays and still love it even tho I am still new to the rituals and what have you. Now, I used to be such a tomboy and didn’t like wearing dresses but since I got older, I love dressing up. Also, I come from another denomination where you have to dress up to pay your respects to God. Now the new ones who didn’t know would come in there wearing jeans and a t-shirt. That was the environment I was in.

Now, these past two weeks going to Mass, it was such a shock to me to see people come in with slacks and some were wearing shorts. I am not judging or condemning anyone, I just felt uncomfortable seeing that. I feel like that was a sign of disrespect to God in the chapel. I would like to hear your thoughts on this.

 

[Della]

Catholic parishes tend to see people of every walk of life at Mass. Some dress up and others don’t. Like you, I tend to dress up more than every day life because that’s the way I was brought up–back in the dark ages. And Catholics used to be more fastidious, as well, until the revolutionary changes brought about in culture in the 60’s that swept over the Catholic Church in America like a tornado. All the old norms were tossed out by folks who had a “new vision” for the Church.

This was not the fault of Vatican II, but the reforms were used as an excuse to ditch many things people had thought right and proper at Mass, including dress. It’s one thing to say that even the poorest of the poor should feel welcome at a Catholic Mass and quite another to use that as an excuse for personal sloppiness in appearance, which many people did.

But now, our wider culture has become so casual that many people, especially those who grew up post-Vatican II and the 60’s, have no idea what it means to dress for worship differently than for a rock concert. It’s mainly a cultural thing, but it had theological underpinnings for those who were most anxious to turn the Church inside out and upside down. Their legacy was casual dress, sing-song music, and an apparent lack of the sense of appropriateness in dress, and in some cases, behavior at Mass.

 

[garn9173]

Wow, made it to July without someone asking asking about shorts at Mass Shorts at Mass are the norm here in the MW during the summer months (no offense to the OP, there were alot of heated threads last Summer at shorts and Mass. Welcome to the Church!)

For the record, in the office I work in, every day is “jeans Friday” and if I could, I would wear shorts to work just like I do for Mass.

 

[Della]

Wow, made it to July without someasking asking about shorts at Mass

For the record, in the office I work in, every day is Friday and if I could, I would wear shorts to work just like I do for Mass.

My dh sometimes wears shorts to Mass. I’ve worn a skort from time to time myself. I have no problem with shorts (it’s none of my business what others wear, IMHO), but I can’t bring myself to approve of short-shorts, especially those that reveal hips or bums. Call me old-fashioned, but I think that is taking it a bit too far, be it a gal or guy.

 

[garn9173]

My dh sometimes wears shorts to Mass. I’ve worn a skort from time to time myself. I have no problem with shorts (it’s none of my business what others wear, IMHO), but I can’t bring myself to approve of short-shorts, especially those that reveal hips or bums. Call me old-fashioned, but I think that is taking it a bit too far, be it a gal or guy.

I’m glad I don’t have a daughter as I wouldn’t allow her to wear those ultra short shorts.

 

[Becca3]

Catholic parishes tend to see people of every walk of life at Mass. Some dress up and others don’t. Like you, I tend to dress up more than every day life because that’s the way I was brought up–back in the dark ages. And Catholics used to be more fastidious, as well, until the revolutionary changes brought about in culture in the 60’s that swept over the Catholic Church in America like a tornado. All the old norms were tossed out by folks who had a “new vision” for the Church.

This was not the fault of Vatican II, but the reforms were used as an excuse to ditch many things people had thought right and proper at Mass, including dress. It’s one thing to say that even the poorest of the poor should feel welcome at a Catholic Mass and quite another to use that as an excuse for personal sloppiness in appearance, which many people did.

But now, our wider culture has become so casual that many people, especially those who grew up post-Vatican II and the 60’s, have no idea what it means to dress for worship differently than for a rock concert. It’s mainly a cultural thing, but it had theological underpinnings for those who were most anxious to turn the Church inside out and upside down. Their legacy was casual dress, sing-song music, and an apparent lack of the sense of appropriateness in dress, and in some cases, behavior at Mass.

That is what I feel like is going on in this particular parish. I do understand and forgive those who are simply too poor to dress properly for Mass. But yes, like you, I was brought up in the proper days of old. But I want to join the Church whose people should not turn it upside down or try to change it themselves. It should be reverent and quiet for worship. The same goes for dressing appropriately to show respect and to not attract attention to yourselves.

From what you mentioned, I will continue to dress up for Church and maybe hopefully set an example for others to follow. No wonder they (most of them) were looking at me funny. I was one of maybe two women who wears dresses. I don’t care. I will continue to show respect to God and wear dresses.

Do you know that in England, tradition is very old and they still wear dresses over there! And hats!!

 

[Becca3]

But why wear shorts whereas a dress is so much cooler and comfy in the summertime??

 

[KendraDZ1902]

Hi folks. I have been going to Mass for the past two Sundays and still love it even tho I am still new to the rituals and what have you. Now, I used to be such a tomboy and didn’t like wearing dresses but since I got older, I love dressing up. Also, I come from another denomination where you have to dress up to pay your respects to God. Now the new ones who didn’t know would come in there wearing jeans and a t-shirt. That was the environment I was in.

Now, these past two weeks going to Mass, it was such a shock to me to see people come in with slacks and some were wearing shorts. I am not judging or condemning anyone, I just felt uncomfortable seeing that. I feel like that was a sign of disrespect to God in the chapel. I would like to hear your thoughts on this.

Your Location says Florida. My husband and I are stationed in Florida right now. I see a lot of men who will dress in golf attire, (nice pair of shorts and a golf shirt) to Mass. It is hot and humid here. I haven’t wore shorts to Mass, but my husband has. He will wear a golf shirt, pair of nice shorts (no cargos or baggy) and a pair of Sperrys. I have wore a pair of capri pants, though. I have seen little old ladies with head coverings wear a pair of capris. lol. I will usually wear some type of dress. If the dress is spaghetti straps I will wear a little cardigan over it, but if the dress has straps wider than 2-3 fingers, I don’t bother. Again, it is summer in Florida. It is hot and humid.

 

[Becca3]

Your Location says Florida. My husband and I are stationed in Florida right now. I see a lot of men who will dress in golf attire, (nice pair of shorts and a golf shirt) to Mass. It is hot and humid here. I haven’t wore shorts to Mass, but my husband has. He will wear a golf shirt, pair of nice shorts (no cargos or baggy) and a pair of Sperrys. I have wore a pair of capri pants, though. I have seen little old ladies with head coverings wear a pair of capris. lol. I will usually wear some type of dress. If the dress is spaghetti straps I will wear a little cardigan over it, but if the dress has straps wider than 2-3 fingers, I don’t bother. Again, it is summer in Florida. It is hot and humid.

That you wear dresses. Like me, you feel like it is cooler than wearing shorts in the summer months.

 

[KendraDZ1902]

That you wear dresses. Like me, you feel like it is cooler than wearing shorts in the summer months.

Heck yeah it is! They don’t stick to you like jean material will. hahaha. Half my closet is summer time dresses.

 

[Becca3]

Heck yeah it is! They don’t stick to you like jean material will. hahaha. Half my closet is summer time dresses.

Yeah, mine too!! I hate clothes that stick to you!! Ugh!!

 

[maryjk]

But why wear shorts whereas a dress is so much cooler and comfy in the summertime??

But that is just your opinion.

For me, dresses and skirts stick to the back of my legs. So every time I stand up at Mass, I have to pull the material away from my legs. It doesn’t look nice nor does it feel good.

I still wear them sometimes, but every time I do, I remember why I haven’t worn them in a while. And yes, I wear a slip.

 

[Becca3]

But that is just your opinion.

For me, dresses and skirts stick to the back of my legs. So every time I stand up at Mass, I have to pull the material away from my legs. It doesn’t look nice nor does it feel good.

I still wear them sometimes, but every time I do, I remember why I haven’t worn them in a while. And yes, I wear a slip.

I don’t wear slips cuz I buy dresses that are not see-thru and comfy enough that it won’t stick to you. Same thing with wearing tops. I can’t stand to see women wear shirts that show their bra straps! What is going on with that? A new fashion thing?

 

[CradleJourney]

Now, these past two weeks going to Mass, it was such a shock to me to see people come in with slacks and some were wearing shorts. I am not judging or condemning anyone, I just felt uncomfortable seeing that. I feel like that was a sign of disrespect to God in the chapel. I would like to hear your thoughts on this.

My thoughts are that each of us is on a journey and each of us has different situations - and therefore different promptings from God

If YOU feel it is a sign of disrespect to God - then, in my opinion, which is worth what you paid for it grin - for YOU to wear them would be wrong.

On the other hand, (again imo only), would be perfectly okay for someone else to were them who does not feel (and perhaps has never considered) them to be a sign of disrespect.

Perhaps for that person (wearing slacks or shorts), the big issue is arriving early to mass, or focusing their thoughts during the prayers, or participating in the singing - and they would think someone who doesn’t do that is being disrespectful to God.

We are only human and there’s no perfection short of heaven (as my mom would say). So each of us have our own promptings on what we need to work/focus on. Best lesson I ever learned was when I learned during a retreat that the mom who I saw sitting across the church from me each Saturday, with her perfect attire, perfect make-up, and perfectly dressed kids was actually completely stressed out to the point of having anxiety and eating disorders because of her intense compulsion to always present a perfect appearance to others. I learned that no matter what we think someone else’s situation is - the reality may be something totally different. So now I worry about what I can control and what I feel I’m prompted to focus on by God, and let Him handle everyone else

 

[Cath4life]

It’s all about the Real Presence. Once you become aware that Jesus is really at mass, your way of dressing totally changes. I am a cradle catholic, but I was not always aware. Now that I understand the Greatest Miracle at Mass, I dress appropriately to see the King of Kings!!

Like you, I always use to wear pants. Now I find myself wearing skirts for the most part in the summer.

 

[Becca3]

My thoughts are that each of us is on a journey and each of us has different situations - and therefore different promptings from God

If YOU feel it is a sign of disrespect to God - then, in my opinion, which is worth what you paid for it grin - for YOU to wear them would be wrong.

On the other hand, (again imo only), would be perfectly okay for someone else to were them who does not feel (and perhaps has never considered) them to be a sign of disrespect.

Perhaps for that person (wearing slacks or shorts), the big issue is arriving early to mass, or focusing their thoughts during the prayers, or participating in the singing - and they would think someone who doesn’t do that is being disrespectful to God.

We are only human and there’s no perfection short of heaven (as my mom would say). So each of us have our own promptings on what we need to work/focus on. Best lesson I ever learned was when I learned during a retreat that the mom who I saw sitting across the church from me each Saturday, with her perfect attire, perfect make-up, and perfectly dressed kids was actually completely stressed out to the point of having anxiety and eating disorders because of her intense compulsion to always present a perfect appearance to others. I learned that no matter what we think someone else’s situation is - the reality may be something totally different. So now I worry about what I can control and what I feel I’m prompted to focus on by God, and let Him handle everyone else

You have a good point there. Very much so. Yes, so what if someone thinks I am not singing or participating in prayers but they haven’t realized that I am new to the faith. I do try to understand everyone and where they are coming from. Hence this thread.

 

[Mary_Ellen]

I dress up when I’m cantoring from the choir: dress, make-up, etc. I’ll usually wear nice slacks or capris and a blouse when cantoring alone because I usually have to fuss a little with a dress (sticking to the back of my legs, even with a slip) and when I’m alone in front of everyone I don’t want to be obvious about it. I even dress decently if I’m just going to confession - it’s still a sacrament. I’d never even think of wearing shorts to a weekend or even daily Mass.

As a cantor I see way too many low-cut tops on women - what are they thinking??? Those bother me more than shorts, which bother me, too, as they usually look too casual. They can look good if they are long enough but often they’re cut too short. Folks often come dressed as if Mass is just an afterthought, something else to do on a list of things to do on a warm day.

 

[Becca3]

I dress up when I’m cantoring from the choir: dress, make-up, etc. I’ll usually wear nice slacks or capris and a blouse when cantoring alone because I usually have to fuss a little with a dress (sticking to the back of my legs, even with a slip) and when I’m alone in front of everyone I don’t want to be obvious about it. I even dress decently if I’m just going to confession - it’s still a sacrament. I’d never even think of wearing shorts to a weekend or even daily Mass.

As a cantor I see way too many low-cut tops on women - what are they thinking??? Those bother me more than shorts, which bother me, too, as they usually look too casual. They can look good if they are long enough but often they’re cut too short. Folks often come dressed as if Mass is just an afterthought, something else to do on a list of things to do on a warm day.

Yes, I agree. I feel like people are just coming to just socialize and as an afterthought. Sad, very sad. Even tank tops are too much and that shows their bra straps too.

 

[Della]

It can get quite hot and humid in MN, too in the summer. It’s hard to dress for both the weather and Mass when it’s so hot. If I wear something comfortable for outside, I’m too cold in the church, so I have to bring along a shawl or sweater to keep from freezing while I cook in my own juices once I step outside the door. I have a jean skirt I like to wear when traveling any distance in our uncooled late model truck. It’s so much cooler than jeans or even shorts and it covers my legs so the hot sun doesn’t bake my legs. Ain’t it fun being a female in our culture? LOL!

And while I too like to see people dressed nicely and being reverent at Mass, I don’t let others appearance or improper behavior bother me. I’m not responsible for them, only for myself before God. And I’m just there to worship communally, not take assessment of anyone else. I can’t help but notice if others are dressed egregiously badly or behave truly stupidly (ignorance no doubt the reason), but I let it go and give all my discomfort to God. I’m just glad they’re there, and maybe, in time, they will catch on how to dress and behave as they grow deeper in their faith. Or they may never “get it” but at least they’re there, and that’s enough for me.

 

[powerofk]

This is interesting, because dressing in shorts/spaghetti straps/etc. does happen a lot in the United States.

On the other hand, when I went to WYD 2000 in Rome, one of the standouts was, that in front of many churches (especially in front of cathedrals and basilicas), was a “dress code” sign that stated that shoulders and knees were required to be covered. Even if you could not read Italian, diagrams were shown which specifically showed this. And, yes, there were guards outside to make sure everyone was following the dress code. And, also, yes, this was in the middle of August, so it was hot and humid in Italy. The women could adapt, easily enough, as many wraps that could be used as both makeshift shawls and makeshift long skirts were sold near the churches, so they could put the wraps on as they entered the churches and take them off as they left. For us men, though, it generally meant that we had to be in long pants all day if we were visiting a cathedral and/or basilica that day. This was one of the crosses we had to bear.