Dressing modestly

[CarolAnnSFO]

misericordie:

Is there a great orthodox web-site or an address where a person can write to obtain more information on the history and life of Saint Francis and the early Franciscans (a true faithful non LIBERAL interpretation)? Also, what is the history of that Tao Cross? Etc.

Here are some web sites for the Secular Franciscan Order. This is the US national web site:

nafra-sfo.org/

From that site, click “Franciscan Links”, or go to this address:

nafra-sfo.org/links.html

for a list of links to various Franciscan web sites. This next address is the English language version of the international SFO site (It’s available in a few other languages, as well). On the left, there is a drop-down box from which you can select several articles to read.

ciofs.org/sfo.htm

One of the articles is the history of the Tau cross, at this page:

ciofs.org/per/1997/lc97en22.htm#a0

I hope that helps!

(Incidentally, the Tau in my signature is not my own personal one – mine is less chunky, has some dark wood grain going across the vertical arm, and I’ve polyurethaned it, and restrung it onto a dark brown shoe lace, complete with the three knots. )

Crazy Internet Junkies Society
Carrier of the Angelic Sparkles Sprinkle Bag

 

[SeekerJen]

(For what it’s worth, the skirt is ankle length. I have no idea why the manufacturers make them so long – I’m tall and long-legged; I can only imagine a petite woman trying to wear that skirt. )

I’m 5 feet tall. We either hem the heck out of the skirts or if we’ve forgotten to do that and we’re in a pinch, sometimes rolling the waist a couple of times does the trick (unfortunately I speak from experience). Long, thick-fabric skirts are a necessity on cold Sunday mornings during Michigan winters. More manufacturers are producing clothing (inlcuding Mass-appropriate dresses and pants) in petite sizes now, thank goodness!

Topic? Most of my shoes have some sort of elevated heel. The added inch or two makes me feel that much closer to normal height and decreases the angle at which I have to tilt my head back to look people in the face as I speak with them. Most of the shoes are either wedge or chunky heels, no higher than 2 inches in any case. I can’t imagine trying to walk around in stilletto heels, though. I don’t own clothes that “require” such footwear, and I like my ankles in their unsprained state.

 

[mercygate]

Note on “shoe modesty.” Heels that click-click-click when you walk up the aisle to receive Communion are a problem. This is a form of immodesty because it draws attention to the noisemaker.

I take new shoes to the the cobbler and have him put rubber lifts on my heels: no noise.

 

[Annunciata]

Note on “shoe modesty.” Heels that click-click-click when you walk up the aisle to receive Communion are a problem. This is a form of immodesty because it draws attention to the noisemaker.

I take new shoes to the the cobbler and have him put rubber lifts on my heels: no noise.

Hmmm…I was paying particular attention to my high heel sandled shoes too…mine didn’t make any noise…

 

[Ana]

Note on “shoe modesty.” Heels that click-click-click when you walk up the aisle to receive Communion are a problem. This is a form of immodesty because it draws attention to the noisemaker.

I take new shoes to the the cobbler and have him put rubber lifts on my heels: no noise.

Great idea! I hadn’t thought of that!

 

[mercygate]

Ana:

Great idea! I hadn’t thought of that!

I don’t know anybody else who does this. I’m a nit-picker of the first water. Things like this are so easy to take care of.

I find that it is the things you don’t notice that make a difference.
I’m a reader, so I am a little more noticeable than the average bloke. Nobody notices that I don’t clatter up the aisle. That’s the point.

 

[Daniel_Marsh]

Hi Cathy2, I just heard the author of Sexy Girls: How Hot Is Too Hot? ( Hayley Dimarco ) on the radio, and she sounds like she is right down your thinking.

Book Description

Every teenage girl wants to be sexy–she wants to be noticed, to be attractive. But what is “sexy,” really? Do teen girls know what they are saying about themselves by the way they dress? Popular author Hayley DiMarco wants to help them figure it out. Sexy Girls is an honest and provocative look at everything sexy–from clothes and self-presentation to body image. With her approachable style and wit, Hayley shows teen girls

• why little things called hormones affect the way guys look at girls - what girls are really saying by the way they dress - what God thinks about teens trying to be sexy

With quizzes, sidebars, and questions for reflection, Sexy Girls is the perfect opportunity for girls to figure out who they are and how they are going to present that image to their peers.

About the Author

Hayley DiMarco has written and co-written several best-selling books, including Dateable, Mean Girls, and Mean Girls All Grown Up. Hayley has spoken at conferences like Women of Faith and helps organizations like Injoy and Precept Ministries communicate with postmodern readers through her company, Hungry Planet. Hayley and her husband, Michael, live in Nashville, Tennessee.

amazon.com/gp/product/0800730844/qid=1142279865/sr=2-2/ref=pd_bbs_b_2_2/104-8350170-3122306?s=books&v=glance&n=283155

 

[KittyKat]

I wear heels that are pretty high (about 3 inches), and I am tall. I always try to look nice and stay covered. I have noticed that some guys will think the wrong thing about you or have bad thoughts no matter what you wear though.

That book sounds like a joke. Most of the girls I knew didn’t care if any one thought that they were sexy. The ones that did care weren’t going to read a book that told them what was wrong with how they dressed. It would have been the ones that already tried, and some of them were so obsessive about it that everyone noticed any way.

 

[surfinpure]

KittyKat:

That book sounds like a joke. Most of the girls I knew didn’t care if any one thought that they were sexy. The ones that did care weren’t going to read a book that told them what was wrong with how they dressed. It would have been the ones that already tried, and some of them were so obsessive about it that everyone noticed any way.

The book doesn’t sound like a joke to me. It sounds like a darn good idea.

Most of the girls I knew in high school were preoccupied with looking sexy (whether they came right out and said it or not). And there were plenty of girls who had good standards of morality but failed to understand the problem with their dress. They would have changed, had the known why they needed to. Heck, I was one of those girls! All of those need the book.

There is also a growing problem of sexy dressing in pre-teens, and these girls are still young enough to not be so stubborn about doing it “their way.” Many of these girls are beginning to nag their mothers for more revealing clothes (which are for sale everywhere), and many mothers don’t know how to nip that tendency in the bud (or even why they should). Those moms and daughters could use the book.

Then we have a third category that should not be left out: how about the boys? The young men need to understand why many of these fashions are not appropriate and that just because she’s wearing it doesn’t mean it’s okay to gawk. They could use the book.

I’m all for it.

 

[KCT]

Cathy2:

Hello from Italy!

Hello from the US. I can hardly wait to come to Rome for Pentecost! Where in Italy are you?

High heel shoes are of different styles. Many are modest in my opinion. However, when my 15 yr old asks for high heels that are tall, thin heels w/ skinny straps, I sometimes say, “No way. You’d look like a street walker.” —KCT (who is 5’ 10" and rarely wears heels)

 

[Cupofkindness]

My daughter, when she was 15, chose some very high heeled shoes to go to a dance in. The shoes, except for the straps (which were silver), so I guess just the heels and sole, were made of thick clear acrylic plastic. So the shoes looked like glass slippers, sort of. When my daughter asked me what I thought of them, I told her that while I didn’t think the shoe was a classic design, that if she liked them then they were fine with me. My daughter walked beautifully in them, so poised and graceful. But you would never have looked at her and thought of a street walker! Goodness. You would see a lovely, self-confident girl wondering what the whole high-heels thing is about and giving them a try. As a parent, I’m glad that I’m picking my battles in this area. Her Mass shoes are ballet-shoe styled, meaning that they are flat heeled and very feminine.

 

[Jonah]

Burqa anyone?

I don’t have a wandering/judging eye and I honestly don’t go around noticing what people wear or are NOT wearing. Sometimes someone is strikingly attractive, but I don’t get scandalized by it.

I think it’s a shame when a young teens try to dress like they are older, but hopefully their parents are keeping them in check.

 

[BlindSheep]

Ana:

I went through the only wearing skirts phase. Thank God I am not there anymore. Only in hindsight did I notice that as my so called “modesty” increased, so did my sense of self righteousness. I spent much more time noticing and pondering what other women were wearing and bemoaning to anyone who would listen the lack of “modest attire.” This is true of EVERYONE I know who only wears skirts. You can tell these people, because they throw in the fact that they only wear skirts whenever possible and LOVE modesty threads.

"Well, I wear… " seeming to be the predominant phrase.

Then, if one in the skirt wearing group, decides that perhaps all this focus on outward appearance may not be as spiritually good as once thought and (gasp!) breaks out of the spiritual danger, they are quietly shunned and accused of backsliding (which may be true sometimes) … but NEVER the possibility that they may actually be progressing on their spiritual journey.

My spiritual director was blessedly patient with me as I worked through these issues (even to the point of wearing a headcovering), and was relieved when my pendulum settled with a more spiritually healthy view of clothing … I don’t worry about it. I wear what I want that I feel looks good and I am grateful for them. I wear clothes becoming to my age, position and vocation in life. These range from dresses to skirts to shorts to jeans to jogging pants to sneakers, flats, sandals, heels, and flip-flops, depending on the occassion. I also have a few really awesome and yes … FLATTERING outfits to wear for my husband when we go out on the town. Believe you me, he likes the way I dress now ALOT better. My husband tolerated the way I dressed before, but he loves the way I dress now.

I like the challenge of finding clothes that express me, not some boxed in set of rules, how long (two fingers below the neck!), how short (not above the knee!) ,how high (2 in. MAX!)

I do not notice AT ALL, nor do I care what other people wear, and it has given me opportunities in my life to receive much valued counsel at the hands of people whom I would have otherwise written off as “not as holy as I.”

Modesty is an interior state and if TRULY present, will express itself “naturally” in outward appearance. There is no counting or measuring.

God bless!

Hmm - now don’t take this the wrong way, but I detect a bit of self-righteousness in your current attitude toward women who only wear skirts.
I only wear skirts, but I don’t think negative things about women in pants. Pants, to me, feel unfeminine, (not to mention uncomfortable and unflattering to my figure). That doesn’t mean I think women in pants are not feminine, or that they want to feel like men, I personally just feel more feminine in skirts. They are long skirts, too, not because I want to judge everybody else, but because I don’t feel like revealing half my thigh when I sit down.

 

[Elphaba]

BlindSheep:

I only wear skirts, …, I personally just feel more feminine in skirts. They are long skirts, too, …

Have you always worn only skirts?

 

[Jonah]

Jesus didn’t wear pants.

I wear pants and I don’t look or feel like a man. The last time I wore a dress was to my parents 50th anniversary…in 2004…

 

[child_of_God85]

I’m going to have to half way disagree with you. Like someone else said, there are different kind of high heal shoes. I have one pair of high healed sandels I wear to mass. I usually wear and ankle length skirt, button down shirt, and my sandels. I don’t wear them to attract the attention of men, I wear them because their dressy, and I want to look my best for mass. Their only about a 1 to 1 1/2 inch heal.
My mom also wears pumps to mass. Not so much because she likes them, but she can’t wear low heals because they hurt her feet.
Now, anyone who says that woman who wear high heals are like hookers is just rude.
Sorry to get off subject a little, but one ting that annoys me a bit is the way woman associate modesty with frumpy. Like the woman who wear dresses that are about 5 sizes to big because it’s modest, it just winds up looking sloppy. Woman can still look elegent and modest. They just have to ask themselves if their dressing attractively or dressing to attract.

 

[Ana]

BlindSheep:

Hmm - now don’t take this the wrong way, but I detect a bit of self-righteousness in your current attitude toward women who only wear skirts.
I only wear skirts, but I don’t think negative things about women in pants. Pants, to me, feel unfeminine, (not to mention uncomfortable and unflattering to my figure). That doesn’t mean I think women in pants are not feminine, or that they want to feel like men, I personally just feel more feminine in skirts. They are long skirts, too, not because I want to judge everybody else, but because I don’t feel like revealing half my thigh when I sit down.

I don’t have any particular attitude towards women that only wear skirts, generally. As I said in my post, I was speaking of the women that I KNEW that wore only skirts. ALL of them displayed this attitude of “holier than thou” towards women that did not follow the skirt wearing trend. Even ones that I would only encounter in passing, it was ALL they talked about … BORING!:yawn:

I can respect and understand those that choose to wear skirts because they have a personal preferance for them, WITHOUT condemning women that wear pants as automatically being “immodest” or somehow “less Catholic” or devout than they are.

I hope that explains my position better.

BTW … love your signature.

 

[BlindSheep]

Elphaba:

Have you always worn only skirts?

No, only for the past few years.
Ana - Thanks for explaining, I see where you’re coming from.

 

[slyboots]

BlindSheep:

Pants, to me, feel unfeminine, (not to mention uncomfortable and unflattering to my figure). That doesn’t mean I think women in pants are not feminine, or that they want to feel like men, I personally just feel more feminine in skirts. They are long skirts, too, not because I want to judge everybody else, but because I don’t feel like revealing half my thigh when I sit down.

Exactly my sentiments. I have no desire to inflict the sight of my knobby knees, thick ankles and cellulite on anyone.

 

[slyboots]

Jonah:

Jesus didn’t wear pants.

I wear pants and I don’t look or feel like a man. The last time I wore a dress was to my parents 50th anniversary…in 2004…

I am assuming you are female???