Dear sister 1Tim215Mommy,
I am puzzled. In all my years debating Eastern Orthodox on ecclesiology (both when I was in the OO communion and now in the Catholic communion), I have NEVER ever heard an EO make communion with their Patriarch a basis for ANY sort of argument. In fact, the EO I have debated more often than not insist that communion with your head bishop is of no consequence at all.
To be perfectly honest, unless you have simply not exactly intended what you wrote, I think you are a lot closer to being Catholic (I mean Catholic as an Orthodox in communion with Rome as distinct from an Orthodox who is not in communion with Rome) than you might think.
Blessings,
Marduk