Ego Driven Homily - how to stop them?

[sarastent]

Tis_Bearself, responding without reading what I wrote is silly too

 

[Tis_Bearself]

I read what you wrote. Not sure how you thought I didn’t.

If you don’t go to his Mass anymore, then problem is solved, right? So no need to worry about how to stop his homilies.

 

[Joe_5859]

guess that is why I question the homily as being part of the Mass.

If that’s the question you’re asking, I think that’s above any of our pay grades to do anything about. the homily has been part of the Mass pretty much since the beginning (ever since Jesus broke open the Scriptures for the two disciples on the Road to Emmaus prior to the breaking of the bread).

Yes, some priests are certainly better at it than others. But I don’t think the homily is going anywhere as a part of the Mass.

 

[PennyinCanada]

Over the decades we have had to change parishes. Go to a new parish. You will meet new people, some will impact your faith life to make it better. Remember that the holy family had to flee to Egypt and leave family and friends and things familiar behind. For a time. Maybe that priest will be reassigned in a few years. You can decide if you wish to come back or remain in the new parish. Be open to what God wishes as you move on. In the parishes we’ve been in, we’ve met some amazing families. We would not have met them without the move, which was always painful. Pray for this priest. Our church is in desperate need of holy priests, holy men and women, holy families. If a priest cannot seem to focus on the Gospel of our Lord in his homily, he’s struggling. Many people of faith are today.

The scriptures write about the apostles in the boat, how the wind and waves came up and they became afraid for their lives. Jesus was asleep in the boat and they wake him up and say Are you not concerned that we are about to drown? Many of us are in that boat today and the wind is high, the waves are battering us. Priests included. Me and you. Take your attitude to God in prayer. Ask him to help you. God bless and keep you.

 

[TheLittleLady]

Hope we go back to Latin Mass

The sermon is delivered in the native language during Latin Mass.

 

[Beryllos]

Just between you and me (and the whole forum!), it sounds like the priest has some kind of personality disorder… and I mean that in the most charitable way! I mean, we are all to one side or the other of the average, and some of us more so.

That’s not to say he will never listen, recognize his faults, and change. At this point, you have some reason for hope. The key, I think, is charity and its specific aspects of honesty, firmness, and tact.

In my life, I have had to work for, or work with, similarly difficult characters, and I know it’s not easy. Sometimes it hasn’t worked out, but other times I persevered and eventually came to a more satisfactory and fruitful working relationship.

Getting back to your situation, I have two more bits of advice:

If you are eventually able to have a meaningful conversation with him, your guiding principle can be that the homily is part of the Liturgy of the Word. It’s purpose in the Mass is to proclaim the Gospel – not necessarily the Gospel reading, but more generally the Good News of Jesus Christ, God’s love, our response to God’s love, and our hope for eternal life in the glorious presence of God. Every homily should communicate at least some of that.

Finally, don’t burn any bridges. If he is obstinate, leave a pathway open at all times for both of you to retreat back to the status quo. Finish the conversation on good terms. When you speak to other parishioners, say something good about the priest.

God bless you.

 

[JohnLilburne]

Perhaps the book “Rebuilding Your Message” would be helpful. It is by Father Michael White and Tom Corcoran, published in 2015 by Ave Maria Press. The subtitle is “Practical Tools to Strengthen Your Preaching and Teaching”. Chapter 4 has the title “Check Your Ego at the Door”.

 

[7_Sorrows]

I have had to switch to a different Mass time
because I don’t enjoy when all homilies have to
touch on immigration or climate change or the environment.
It is uncomfortable to have to “tune out” a homily because you know what is coming.
So I just switched Mass times and the problem was solved.

 

[Londoner]

I would remember the respect for the office he holds, for his Ordination, and write off the things that annoy you.

Sorry, but haven’t we seen where this culture of deference for clergy and religious leads? Yes, a priest, by virtue of his ordination, enjoys the authority to perform special functions within the Church, such as celebrating the Eucharist and giving blessing and absolution. But his status as a priest does not mean that he is necessarily a particularly good or clever person (though, of course, he may be). This priest is quoted as having made an insensitive and offensive comment during one of his homilies. That cannot simply be written off, as you suggest, out of respect for his office and his ordination. He needs to be made aware of the fact that his conduct falls short of the standards expected of him.

In the UK we had until very recently an attitude of deference towards people in public life. A journalist interviewing a member of the the government would typically conclude the interview with a formula such as, ‘Minister, have you anything else to say to a grateful nation?’ This attitude led to all kinds of abuses. For example, Sir Cyril Smith, mayor of Rochdale, Liberal Party chief whip, and a member of Parliament for twenty years, was posthumously recognised as a sadist and a paedophile who had abused countless vulnerable boys. In fact, his crimes were widely known during his lifetime, but he escaped prosecution because of his public position (and was, indeed, rewarded with a knighthood). In 1979 the former leader of Smith’s party, Jeremy Thorpe, was acquitted of charges of conspiracy and incitement to murder (of which he was clearly guilty) after the judge more or less instructed the jury that they could not convict a privy counsellor on the evidence of his social inferiors.

We are now less deferential, and ten years ago the traditionally conservative newspaper The Daily Telegraph uncovered widespread abuses with regard to expenses claims by members of the both houses of Parliament. The scandal led to the resignations of the speaker of the House of Commons, several ministers, including the Home Secretary, and numerous MPs (numerous peers were also suspended from the House of Lords). Five MPs and two peers were sentenced to terms of imprisonment and one MP was sentenced to a supervision and treatment order. Two MPs were also expelled from the Privy Council. Just a few years later, Chris Huhne, a Secretary of State, was imprisoned for perverting the course of justice in connection with a driving offence and expelled from the Privy Council (his former wife was also imprisoned and was expelled from the Order of the Bath, while a judge, Constance Briscoe, was also jailed, disbarred, and removed from the bench for her role in the affair).

This may seem somewhat removed from the case of the priest, but my point is that we can no longer afford to exempt people from scrutiny and accountability out of deference for position or status. If a priest is at fault, he is at fault. The culture of clericalism has given rise to enough scandal in the Church already.

 

[7_Sorrows]

I have respect for our priests. When I attended the Chrism Mass I prayed for all
the priests in our diocese. They make so many sacrifices for us.

 

[CilladeRoma]

It’s called being an adult.
Difficult conversations are part of life, and if one feels strongly enough to complain to someone else (like on an internet forum) they should have no problem going to the person directly.

 

[Shasta-Rose]

There’s at least one church in our diocese that publishes what priest will be doing which Mass. I wish ours did that. Maybe they’re afraid that there will be a lopsided number of people at the popular priest’s services, and it might be a little awkward.

 

[Tis_Bearself]

because I don’t enjoy when all homilies have to
touch on immigration or climate change or the environment.

I have had that happen occasionally too, although fortunately the main culprit (another deacon) is not at my regular parish.
The guy I have an issue with at the close parish talks too long, and he brings up topics I don’t relate to.
On Thanksgiving he decided to preach about a brave dying person he knew in hospice and how awesome that they could face death bravely etc and went on and on about it. It would have been a great funeral homily or perhaps for another day like All Souls, but it was totally out of place for a day with a celebratory, not commemorative mood. I was expecting a homily about thanking God for his blessings or something.

 

[sarastent]

Cilladeroma, the comment read correctly states I was going to approach him - but not all adults are perfect so that’s ok (that’s if your an adult)
I also delve deeper into the issue replying to another response saying that he never responded to my first request to meet and when I asked again his response was far from being an adult. As an adult, I don’t like to go into confronting people when I am angry, I thought on this site would be compassionate, patient souls who would give could counsel. I found there are and I am so grateful for that but then there are some who don’t understand what they read and just one or 2 who look to antagonize when they see someone struggling.

 

[sarastent]

Thank you for your thoughtful response Londoner, I saw a documentary on the first man you mentioned, Sir Cyril. It was mainly focused on a victim of his who garnered the strength to voice what happened to him - the abuse he then went through from others who were trying to protect Sir Cyril was disgusting. Beyond the abuse he already endured he was slandered, had used the police go after him (that’s how far Cyril’s reach went), he was forced into bankruptcy… it was mind boggling to watch. It’s amazing how rarely does evil work alone - there are always ‘lackeys’ that surround them and that is truly how the abuse continues; not just from the abuser but those who defend the abuser or turn their back on doing what is right.
As I said in my original post, I planned on speaking to him but I wanted to cool my heels before I did - I didn’t want to lead by anger in this case. Your response and some others as well have been very helpful, thanks again!

 

[Londoner]

I have respect for our priests.

Of course most of us respect priests, just as most of us respect teachers, doctors, and even politicians. But it doesn’t mean that they should be above criticism when they do something wrong.

 

[TheLittleLady]

my point is that we can no longer afford to exempt people from scrutiny and accountability out of deference for position or status.

And never once did I suggest such exemption.

We are not talking about a priest flinging insults from the pulpit, the OP does not like jokes.

‘if you do not enjoy mass you have a mental illness’

This could have been misheard (maybe go up after Mass “Father, did I understand this sentence correctly? Would you explain it?”

We need to forgive quickly and often.

 

[CilladeRoma]

I was replying directly to something another poster, not you, said.

Much of what you have issues with, are your own issue. I am sorry if you don’t think that is compassionate enough, but, it is what it is.

Not every one is going to be liked by everyone. If this priest is difficult for you to be around, then the onus is on you to either address the issue with him directly, or shake the dust from your feet and move on.

 

[sarastent]

TheLittleLady, by responding that you ‘respect all priests’ in answer to my question implies that I do not. All priests are not in my question. I also respect all priests, if I didn’t - I wouldn’t be bothered by anything he said and would be happy enough to just change my mass or read through the scriptures during homily. But I respect his position and want to support him but I am angry that he is not respecting his position and I was looking for good counsel on how to approach him successfully.

 

[TheLittleLady]

I was looking for good counsel on how to approach him successfully.

The best way is not to let the anger build up into resentment, ask him about your concerns right after Mass or make an appointment the next day.