Embarassingly seeking answers

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I am sorry that you’re going through this. Please don’t give up. :gopray2:
 
I would suggest confessing them as well (which you’ve probably already done) – just say you’ve had “impure thoughts” and that’s usually detailed enough.

You said you’re condemning those thoughts immediately and praying and reading God’s word, which are essential. I would suggest frequent confession, Holy Communion, and adoration of the Blessed Sacrament, all of which will strengthen you.

I highly recommend the chaplet of Divine Mercy – it is so beautiful and Jesus gives us such graces through it (see my signature line below for information). I would also pray the Hail Mary and ask our Lady to protect you and bring purity to your thoughts of her, for she IS all that is pure and good. Perhaps also these prayers (if you don’t know them already):

The St. Michael Prayer :knight2:
St. Michael the Archangel
Defend us in battle
Be our safeguard against the wickedness
and snares of the devil
May God rebuke him we humbly pray
And do thou, O prince of the Heavenly Host
By the power of God
Cast into hell satan and all the evil spirits
who prowl about the world seeking the ruin of souls
Amen.

Prayer to Your Guardian Angel :angel1:
Angel of God
Who are my guardian
To whom Merciful God entrusted me
Enlighten and keep me this day
Guard and lead me
Amen.

Praying for you now – God bless you! :hug1:
Physical arousal is not sinful unless you entertain it, from what I understand. I came back to the church recently after being in a very dark place. I’m sure the evil one is angry to lose a soul in a case like that. I was plagued with similar attacks when I would pray and always RIGHT before Communion, sometimes as I was standing up to get in the line. I’d have terrible thoughts about the Eucharist, the priest, etc.

It is painful, but I think it’s just the evil one trying to get you to doubt and dwell on your own sinfulness. Don’t listen to him.

It’s times like these when we most NEED the graces of frequent confession and FREQUENT reception of the Blessed Sacrament. Don’t let satan keep you from God.

I pray the St. Michael prayer when this happens. It still happens to me, but much less now. Also, try to cultivate a daily prayer to your guardian angel. He is with you all the time and can help keep those bad thoughts away if you ask him to use the powers God has given him to help you.

Speaking the name of Jesus or saying “Jesus is Lord” out loud will also help.

I also do what another poster mentioned…I make a physical movement. I wave my hand past my ear while saying “get behind me satan” and I imagine the bad thoughts fleeing from me. I think since we are physical creatures, the physical can help comfort us.
 
quote: 317
I know this sounds terrible, but I am not some “sicko.”
“sicko”? :coffeeread:

John Nash - a schizophrenic, won the Nobel Prize
for mathematics.
Winston Churchill - who led England through
World War II, suffered from heavy depression -
as did Abraham Lincoln.

I am quite ill, with both mental illness and psychological illness -
yet have managed to contribute to the world around me.

Us’n “sickos” sometimes surprise other people -
in terms of that which we are able to accomplish. :tiphat:

The following is my opinion - for whatever that’s worth.

I went thru hell, with scruples. The blasphemous thoughts,
the worry about sin - the whoooole nine yards.
I participated, briefly, on a forum for those with scrupulosity.
I discovered that scruples may appear - in many religious traditions.

“Have I committed the 'unpardonable sin?” - was often heard, on that forum.
What about the blasphemous thoughts that arise? This situation, too,
was often mentioned.

I found it calming - to know that I was not alone in this.
I make no suggestion, whatsoever, as to what might be of help.

I look at it this way. If “function” becomes impaired -
can’t sleep much, not eating well, high levels of anxiety,
forgetting to get done things that truly need doing -

if any of these occur, some people choose to speak with their
personal physician.

I am sorry that you are suffering in this way, 317.

reen12
 
reen12,
I did not intend to offend anyone by that phrase. I knew that some poeple, when they read my thread, would automatically put me in the stereotype that I am obssessed with sexual fantasies, etc. (which I am not.) I wanted people to understand my predictament and not write me off immediately. I was using language that I thought people might associate with me based on what I had written. I suffered from OCD in the past, and know that mentally-compromising illnessnes do not make anyone less influential or important.

I hope you are not offended, and thank you for your advice. I truly value your opinion and appreciate you taking the time to respond.
 
quote:317
reen12,
I did not intend to offend anyone by that phrase. I knew that some poeple, when they read my thread, would automatically put me in the stereotype that I am obssessed with sexual fantasies, etc. (which I am not.) I wanted people to understand my predictament and not write me off immediately. I was using language that I thought people might associate with me based on what I had written. I suffered from OCD in the past, and know that mentally-compromising illnessnes do not make anyone less influential or important.

I hope you are not offended, and thank you for your advice. I truly value your opinion and appreciate you taking the time to respond.
It brings relief, to hear that you have endured OCD in the past -
in the sense that this gives you* experience* to work with -
in terms of what you are dealing with, now.

25 years ago, I was reading a source that mentioned that
these feelings sometimes did evince, in one who was praying.
[Get this. The rest of the work was translated into English,
but this part was not. However, I had enough Latin to figure
out the topic. :rolleyes: *That’ll teach 'em to train someone in Latin. 😃 ]

In other words, 317, what you are experiencing is known in
the literature of the spiritual life. Not to worry, OK?
To me, you must be brave, if you have had experience of OCD
in the past.

I have to say that, having first met with a professional, in psychology, at age 19 [1965] - I can’t beleeeeve how much more is known, today, about how the brain works. It is the difference between night and day, I have found.

I shall offer a prayer that God walk with you, in all of this.
I know that He will, because He loves us.

reen12 :tiphat:
 
317,
When I first returned to the Church, I had similar physical responses during prayer as well as during meditation on my love for Christ. I remember being appalled by this involuntary response and, like you, fought against these biological quirks. I was also plagued for some time by impure dreams which were completely unprovoked as I had been graced with an almost effortless dedication to chastity in my daily life. The dreams I confessed repeatedly until, after the 7th priest told me I was not culpable, I finally accepted that I was not committing sin during sleep.

What helped me ENORMOUSLY was reading Fr. Benedict Groeschel’s little book “The Courage To Be Chaste.” In it, he describes the things you and I have experienced and explains them as normal biological responses that we should not fear. We must, of course, resist the temptation to engage with these feelings but in my case, and it seems also in yours, I was never tempted to engage - in fact, my instinct was the opposite. But fighting against them can often exacerbate the situation. It is enough to recognize they are happening, to offer a prayer to (my favorite) St. Michael to do the battle for us, and distract yourself as much as possible.

Do not worry and by all means, RECEIVE THE EUCHARIST. You need the grace and strength that only comes from Christ.
 
This has been a long journey of suffering and I realize it may be much longer, but for the first time I have a glimmer of hope! Please pray for me that I will not lose hope or become despondent.
This morning I reached a point of complete desperation - I was almost ready to give up and just collapse from exhaustion.
317, don’t fear. I’ve bolded the above words for a specific reason. Keep reading. 😉
“In the evening, Jesus gave me the subject for meditation. At the first moment, my heart was filled with fear and joy. Then I pressed myself close to His Heart, and the fear vanished; only joy remained. I felt entirely like a child of God, and the Lord said… ‘Fear nothing…Before I made the world, I loved you with the love your heart is experiencing today and, throughout the centuries, My love will never change.’”
“…there is no way to heaven except the way of the cross. I followed it first. You must learn that it is the shortest way… I am giving you a share in those sufferings because of My special love for you and in view of the high degree of holiness I am intending for you in Heaven. A suffering soul is closer to My heart.”
A part of the Conversation of the Merciful God with a Despairing Soul:
Jesus: What joy fills My Heart when you return to Me. Because you are weak, I take you in My arms and carry you to the home of My Father.
Soul: (as if awakening, asks fearfully): Is it possible that there is yet mercy for me?
Jesus: There is, My child. You have a special claim on My mercy. Let it act in your poor soul; let the rays of grace enter your soul; they bring with them light, warmth, and life.
Soul: But fear fills me at the thought of my sins, and this terrible fear moves me to doubt Your goodness.
Jesus: My child, all your sins have not wounded My Heart as painfully as your present lack of trust does - that after so many efforts of My love and mercy, you should still doubt My goodness…
…Tell Me all, My child, hide nothing from Me because My loving Heart, the Heart of Your Best Friend is listening to you."
~all from The Diary of St. Maria Faustina Kowalska: Divine Mercy in My Soul.
When praying the chaplet of Divine Mercy, there are optional beginning and ending prayers. I always include them because they’re so beautiful. Here’s the ending prayer:

Eternal God, in whom mercy is endless and the treasury of compassion — inexhaustible, look kindly upon us and increase Your mercy in us, that in difficult moments we might not despair nor become despondent, but with great confidence submit ourselves to Your holy will, which is Love and Mercy itself. ❤️

Here’s instructions on praying the chaplet in case you need/want them: thedivinemercy.org/message/devotions/praythechaplet.php

God bless you! :hug1:
 
So you are like me!It is terrifying to read about someone writing something that we are experiencing ourselves.I know exactly how you feel, because I am going through the same thing, but my situation stems from medication I must take or I will depart this life. I have been fighting these demons for eight years, and it doesn’t get any easier, regardless how much I try to distract myself from thoughts that enter into my mind. Even as I pray, and I do a lot of that, satan enters with things that are incomprehensible. I try to divert my mind to other things, I ask Jesus to help me, along with a litany of things I pray to subdue whatever and whoever is playing games with me…satan!
I talked to a priest about the situation, and he told me I am not sinning as long as I continue not to submit to the temptative thoughts.I firmly believe satan has only a short time to continue his efforts to destroy as many souls as he can. I now think it an honor that satan has chosen me as his so-called victim, because he is trying to rip me from the grasps of Jesus’ loving Sacred Heart, and Jesus and I will not permit it, no matter how long satan persists. Engulf yourself with the armor of Christ, The Anointed One, and united, you will be victorious, just as Jesus was on the cross. Satan will persist, but you will prevail, just don’t give into whatever he throws at you. Jesus loves us so much, and he will not let us be tempted beyond our strength. He understands us better than we do, and as long as we cling to Him, He will not let us down. Satan wants us to think that, what we are thinking ,are our own thoughts, and these are things that we want to do or experience. When you are in one of these situations, no matter how often or difficult, do not reveal any thoughts or words that satan can hear. Don’t let him know what you are thinking, because he can not read your mind, and if he gains access to our minds and thoughts, we have given him the way to success for him and failure for us.I could not understand how something like this could happen to me, a man that attended daily mass, goes to confession at least once a month, and prays for hours, every manner of prayers imaginable.We are in a battle as Jesus’ soldiers, and we must sacrifice every ounce of our being in order to be victorious. I like to pray to my guardian angel for help and protection. Pray to your guardian angel often. I submit the following guadian angel prayer that I found many years ago. Continue to confide in Jesus!

GUARDIAN ANGEL PRAYER:
Angel of God, my guardian dear,
To whom God’s love commits me here.
Be ever this day at my side,
To light, to guard, to rule and guide.
 
Belle10,
Can you explain the part about the “Conversation of the Merciful God with a Despairing Soul” to me? I have not read the diary. Is it a conversation she had with Jesus?

Thank you.
 
Dusan,
Thank you for your encouragement. It is like a huge weight lifted off my shoulders to know there others in this sitution, although it breaks my heart that any of us asre going through it. I will pray for you!
 
Belle10,
Can you explain the part about the “Conversation of the Merciful God with a Despairing Soul” to me? I have not read the diary. Is it a conversation she had with Jesus?

Thank you.
At Jesus’ command, St. Faustina recorded all that He spoke to her. This included several conversations between Jesus and souls in various states. There are five conversations:

Conversation of the Merciful God with a Sinful Soul
Conversation of the Merciful God with a Despairing Soul
Conversation of the Merciful God with a Suffering Soul
Conversation of the Merciful God with a Soul Striving after Perfection
Conversation of the Merciful God with a Perfect Soul

They can be found about halfway down the page here: our.homewithgod.com/divinemercy/book5/

I highly recommend the Diary – it has been a wonderful blessing in my life and I’m sure it will help you! Praying for you again today in my Rosary and chaplet of Divine Mercy. :hug1:

PM anytime if you want. 🙂

Dusan I’ll also include you in my Rosary and chaplet of Divine Mercy today. :hug1:
 
317,

My thought is that the devil must certainly be afraid of you to aflict you in this way!

I will pray very hard for you. Your tenacity is an inspiration to me!
 
317,

My thought is that the devil must certainly be afraid of you to aflict you in this way!
I agree! :yup:
(By the way Dana, welcome home!!! 😃 )

317, why not try this prayer as well:

Christ shield me this day:
Christ with me,
Christ before me,
Christ behind me,
Christ in me,
Christ beneath me,
Christ above me,
Christ on my right,
Christ on my left,
Christ when I lie down,
Christ when I arise,
Christ in the heart of every person who thinks of me,
Christ in every eye that sees me,
Christ in the ear that hears me.

~Saint Patrick, from his breastplate
(from saints.sqpn.com/saintp01.htm)
🙂
 
317, Did you read this part?

It happens frequently that in a person’s spiritual exercises themselves, without the person being able to avoid it, impure movements will be experienced in the sensory part of the soul, and even sometimes when the spirit is deep in prayer or when receiving the sacraments of Penance or the Eucharist.

Yes, I understand your deep need for spiritual exercises, and for that reason, don’t let these arousals cause you to omit them. Did you ever read from St. Catherine of Siena, where she suffered greatly from impure thoughts? When she was finally able to recollect herself in Jesus, she asked Him, “Lord where WERE you when these abominable images intruded upon my soul?” He answered, “I was in your heart helping you to repel them.”

As long as they displease you, there is no sin in having them. I suffer from other kinds of temptations frequently and it is not pleasant to endure, for we would rather not experience them. But for our strengthening in virtue, God often permits them.
wow! thank you for that!

I also struggle with this. Things just sortive…well…FLY into my head. And I really dont like them. its embarrassing. I would be ashamed about them if it got out. I dont like 'em 🙂 great post 👍 👍
 
Physical arousal is not sinful unless you entertain it, from what I understand. I came back to the church recently after being in a very dark place. I’m sure the evil one is angry to lose a soul in a case like that. I was plagued with similar attacks when I would pray and always RIGHT before Communion, sometimes as I was standing up to get in the line. I’d have terrible thoughts about the Eucharist, the priest, etc.

It is painful, but I think it’s just the evil one trying to get you to doubt and dwell on your own sinfulness. Don’t listen to him.

It’s times like these when we most NEED the graces of frequent confession and FREQUENT reception of the Blessed Sacrament. Don’t let satan keep you from God.

I pray the St. Michael prayer when this happens. It still happens to me, but much less now. Also, try to cultivate a daily prayer to your guardian angel. He is with you all the time and can help keep those bad thoughts away if you ask him to use the powers God has given him to help you.

Speaking the name of Jesus or saying “Jesus is Lord” out loud will also help.

I also do what another poster mentioned…I make a physical movement. I wave my hand past my ear while saying “get behind me satan” and I imagine the bad thoughts fleeing from me. I think since we are physical creatures, the physical can help comfort us.
Oooo, I went through that too with the Eucharist! Every time I went to receive, the most blasphemous thoughts would come out of nowhere. I struggled with this for a long time, and occasionally still do. But that did not stop me from receiving the Eucharist, because that is exactly what the evil one wants! I knew where it was coming from. I pray to St. Michael now to help me with this when it occurs. This is another reason why I know that the Eucharist is real–Satan would not bother with something that wasn’t true.

To the OP–do not stay away from the Eucharist, because that is exactly what Satan is trying to get you to do. Do not listen to his lies. If your priest cannot understand what you are trying to tell him, find another one. Are there any monastaries near you where you can go for Confession, like the Franciscans?
 
I agree! :yup:
(By the way Dana, welcome home!!! 😃 )

317, why not try this prayer as well:

Christ shield me this day:
Christ with me,
Christ before me,
Christ behind me,
Christ in me,
Christ beneath me,
Christ above me,
Christ on my right,
Christ on my left,
Christ when I lie down,
Christ when I arise,
Christ in the heart of every person who thinks of me,
Christ in every eye that sees me,
Christ in the ear that hears me.

~Saint Patrick, from his breastplate
(from saints.sqpn.com/saintp01.htm)
🙂
Thank you so much for the prayer. 🙂 Peace.
 
317,
May God be with you! I ask your forgiveness ahead of time for anything that I might say that would cause you grief. This is not my intention. I am a Catholic Therapist and work with wholistic approach using the Bio-Psycho-Social Model. I would add one more demention to this–the Spiritual Dimension which I believe encompasses all. The reason I say this is that God created us as a whole human being. If we do not look at all aspects of our created being we may miss important information.

That being said, please remember that thoughts and feelings are not sinful in themselves. Our consent to these thoughts, feelings, mental images etc. is what is sinful. Added to this we need to examine our health. (You do not have to answer these questions in this forum)
Biological: Are you getting enough sleep, eating well, and getting exercise?

Psychological: Have you had problems with intrusive thoughts in the past? Is there any history of mental illness in your family? Have you had problems with depression or obsessive thoughts or compulsions?

Social: Are you connecting with family and friends? Are you able to do something fun on a regular basis? We are created for relationship. What are your relationships? Who do you consider to be trustworthy?

Spiritual: It is obvious that you are committed to prayer. Weekly Mass, Regular Confession, and Daily prayer are important. Do you understand God’s incredible mercy? Do you focus too much on your own sinfulness or continue to hold on to past guilt? I agree with the above person who recommends a confessor who speaks your language. Regular confession can be a great help. You need not “confess” thoughts and feelings that you do not consent to; however letting your confessor know that this is a problem for you can be a great help.

Remember, we are strengthened in our faith by trials. If you are in good health all around and still plagued with temptations, ask God to give you the grace to offer this suffering for the Glory of God and the salvation of souls. Many of us on our Journey through this valley of tears will find ourselves in similar circumstance from time to time. God allows some sufferings to purify us. However, Grace builds on nature. You may need to see a doctor, a psychiatrist, a therapist, or other helpful things to make sure you are in the best health you can be. These are our crosses to bear at times.

Along with others at this forum, I will pray for you to find help along the way.
 
Thank you for the link. The problem is, it is prayer and reading scripture that bring these feelings on. I CAN"T avoid those situations, I need them more than anything!
I go through this sometimes, too. It’s the wildest thing. It’s definitely the Devil.

The Hail Mary works, but only if you start to pray it right away as soon as you realize that these thoughts are about to appear- even a small delay, and it doesn’t work any more. At that point, you just have to wait it out.

It normally only lasts a few minutes, and then it goes away like it was never there. You just keep doing what you were doing, and push the weird thoughts and feelings into the background. A long drink of cold water helps, sometimes - and then there are times when doing anything just makes it worse.

Know that it is the Devil that is putting these thoughts into your mind. Especially if they seem more suited to the opposite gender. (The Devil gets so “into” things that he forgets who he’s dealing with, and at those times, the weirdest things come into my mind; I was actually turned off by my own sexual thoughts, and of course that’s when I realized that they weren’t even my thoughts.)
 
I’m confused–are you having lustful thoughts while you are praying?

Or are you experiencing physical arousal while you are praying even though your thoughts are focused on prayer?
 
Dearly beloved of our Lord Jesus Christ, I neglected to ask you if you may have started to take any kind of prescription medication as I did. If so, according to a priest we are not completely responsible for our actions, but we must continue to resist. It was a great relief for me when I asked my doctor and his nurse if the medication was a contributing factor, and they acknowledged emphatically that is was. It is a difficult battle, when we have have to battle satan along with things that we need to take for our well-being. I know that you are a brave warrior, or you would not have reached out for assistance. Today, after reading your call for help yesterday, I was not provoked to thoughts that were abnormal as I prayed my morning prayers. I feel, that trying to reach out to you in your crisis, Jesus may have responded to my prayers for help, In my efforts to help you, I have been helped. I want to thank you, because I know there is a connection, and the cross that you carry has made it easier to bear my own.
Oh Dear Jesus, I pray and beg you to help, heal and assist your servant for whom I pray, that You make her victorious over her affliction, so that she may offer unto You praise and glory in Your most holy and sacred Name. Amen, Amen, Amen.
The three Amens are for the Father, Son and Holy Spirit.
We were created in the image of the Holy Trinity, for we possess, body, soul and spirit.
God Bless you beyond measure!
Dusan
 
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