Embarrassed to tell the priest

[arewethereyet]

Hi guys…
So here it is…I have taken care of mortal sin in my past in confession already.
Whew!!!
That was a relief to do that!
BUT…
I have a venial (I think that is the word) sin that I struggle with just about every day.
I am a 39 yr old woman who is raising her child and I am embarrassed.
I should be more mature than this or I certaiinly could be setting a better example for my son.
This is what I tell myself anyways.
Thank goodness my husband has more self control.
Please don’t ask me what the sin is…it is embarrassing.
But it isn’t a mortal sin.
I know that.
I just need to know how do I bring this up to my priest?
How do I stop doing this?
Old habits are hard to break!!
Obviously I have been doing this for years and years.
Thanks for any (name removed by moderator)ut!!!
Karen
p.s. Obviously, I struggle with several sins. I am human. But this is probably one I struggle with more.

 

[mellon00collie]

According to what I have been taught…vernial, while staining your soul, do not lead to a fall from Grace, and can be absolved by praying an Act of Contrition and a request for absolution. (don’t need to go to your priest with it). Also, I feel at least that the easiest person to make a cenfession to is God himself

 

[arewethereyet]

According to what I have been taught…vernial, while staining your soul, do not lead to a fall from Grace, and can be absolved by praying an Act of Contrition and a request for absolution. (don’t need to go to your priest with it). Also, I feel at least that the easiest person to make a cenfession to is God himself

Thanks, friend!
I have been talking to God about it.
There is a priest at my church who is so gentle.
I might talk to him.
And I will try praying the Act of Contrition and requesting an absolution.
Karen

 

[NewGuyInChurch]

Well I went to my first confession yesterday afternoon (I’m just finishing up RCIA) and I’ll tell you there was some stuff I was embarassed to confess. After having gone 19 years without ever having gone to confession, there were a few things that I really wished I hadn’t done while I was sitting in that chair thinking about having to confess them! But even though this was a face-to-face confession, it actually wasn’t that bad. The priest at my parish is really great and he made me feel very at-ease and while he was talking to me about certain things I’d confessed, he didn’t make me feel embarassed at all. There was one thing in particular I was really embarassed to confess, but after doing it I felt really great and it wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be anyway. Actually it wasn’t bad at all.

So regardless of whether the sin you’re talking about is venial or mortal, if it’s really bothering you this much, you should shelve your pride and just go and confess it. Believe me – you’ll feel a whole lot better getting it off your chest.

Good luck and God bless

 

[KatieD]

One of our priests spoke about confession in his homily recently and reminded us that there is nothing we can say that will surprise our priests. They’ve heard it all! I understand your concerns - I’ve been worried about certain things too. But he’s so gentle and soft-spoken, and I’ve been so glad to talk with him.

 

[MAMom]

I went to confession last year after not going for over 10 years. Now I know that we should not sin because it hurts God, but I have also found that because a few of my sins were very embarressing to confess, that has been enough to stop me from committing them again–I don’t want to have to ever confess any of them again! So, maybe not the “right” reason for avoiding these particular sins, but at least I am.

MAMom

 

[baltobetsy]

Karen, just blurt it out! Say it first. Maybe whine a little about how embarrassed you are.
Say what you wrote in the post about giving bad example to your child. When you say it in confession, you receive specific graces to help you with the sins you confess. Don’t miss out on these!

I had an embarrassing one last time. I said I knew how silly it was, but it was really coming between me and God. The priest even chuckled a little, but it was OK. Then as I prayed about it throughout this week, I have seen that what seemed so silly then was really a symptom of something bigger and more important. I know that is the grace of the Sacrament working in me. Don’t miss out on this grace!!

I’ll pray for you to be able to say it. Will you pray for me, too?

Betsy

 

[barbfromtucson]

While the sacrament of reconciliation ranks up there with a visit to the dentist office, I am glad of it.

It keeps me on the straight and narrow–sometimes I’ll be tempted, and in the back of my head, I’ll think, “Do I really want to have to confess this to a priest?” which sometimes does the trick in curbing the particular temptation.

Take Care,

Barbara

 

[mgy100]

Priest’s have heard about everything. Just tell him, it’s not like he’s going to phone your dh (hehe I actually got to use that term!) and tell on you.

 

[guanophore]

Hi guys…
So here it is…I have taken care of mortal sin in my past in confession already.
Whew!!!
That was a relief to do that!
BUT…
I have a venial (I think that is the word) sin that I struggle with just about every day.
I am a 39 yr old woman who is raising her child and I am embarrassed.
I should be more mature than this or I certaiinly could be setting a better example for my son.
This is what I tell myself anyways.
Thank goodness my husband has more self control.
Please don’t ask me what the sin is…it is embarrassing.
But it isn’t a mortal sin.
I know that.
I just need to know how do I bring this up to my priest?
How do I stop doing this?
Old habits are hard to break!!
Obviously I have been doing this for years and years.
Thanks for any (name removed by moderator)ut!!!
Karen
p.s. Obviously, I struggle with several sins. I am human. But this is probably one I struggle with more.

It is good to confess these stubborn little sins too, and ask the priest for guidance. I find it helpful, when tempted, to pray outloud, the act of contrition, rosary, or prayers to a saint who struggled with that. You also need to get the triggers out of your home. If there are physical things that set it off, take them out.

 

[Orionthehunter]

Every Sunday at Mass (I believe this is true also at Daily Mass) when we do the “Act of Penance” and recieve the Eucharist, we are absolved of our venial sins.

However, you said you “know” it is a venial sin. I never make that assumption. There are matters that for most are venial but because of what is in my heart when I commit the sin so affects my relationship with God that it may be mortal. Sometimes it is not the objective “act” that determines its seriousness but the internal objective in our heart/mind.

Additionally, you mention this as a sin that you always struggle with. See what I bolded in the last paragraph from the Catechism. If it isn’t a mortal sin by its nature, it could be because of the hold it has on you or the cumulative affect it can have on your soul.

Note the following from the Catechism:

1856 Mortal sin, by attacking the vital principle within us - that is, charity - necessitates a new initiative of God’s mercy and a conversion of heart which is normally accomplished within the setting of the sacrament of reconciliation:

**When the will sets itself upon something that is of its nature incompatible with the charity that orients man toward his ultimate end, then the sin is mortal by its very object **. . . whether it contradicts the love of God, such as blasphemy or perjury, or the love of neighbor, such as homicide or adultery… But when the sinner’s will is set upon something that of its nature involves a disorder, but is not opposed to the love of God and neighbor, such as thoughtless chatter or immoderate laughter and the like, such sins are venial.[130]

1863 Venial sin weakens charity; it manifests a disordered affection for created goods; it impedes the soul’s progress in the exercise of the virtues and the practice of the moral good; it merits temporal punishment. Deliberate and unrepented venial sin disposes us little by little to commit mortal sin. However venial sin does not set us in direct opposition to the will and friendship of God; it does not break the covenant with God. With God’s grace it is humanly reparable. “Venial sin does not deprive the sinner of sanctifying grace, friendship with God, charity, and consequently eternal happiness.”[134]
While he is in the flesh, man cannot help but have at least some light sins. But do not despise these sins which we call “light”: if you take them for light when you weigh them, tremble when you count them. A number of light objects makes a great mass; a number of drops fills a river; a number of grains makes a heap. What then is our hope? Above all, confession.[135]

 

[arewethereyet]

Well I went to my first confession yesterday afternoon (I’m just finishing up RCIA) and I’ll tell you there was some stuff I was embarassed to confess. After having gone 19 years without ever having gone to confession, there were a few things that I really wished I hadn’t done while I was sitting in that chair thinking about having to confess them! But even though this was a face-to-face confession, it actually wasn’t that bad. The priest at my parish is really great and he made me feel very at-ease and while he was talking to me about certain things I’d confessed, he didn’t make me feel embarassed at all. There was one thing in particular I was really embarassed to confess, but after doing it I felt really great and it wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be anyway. Actually it wasn’t bad at all.

So regardless of whether the sin you’re talking about is venial or mortal, if it’s really bothering you this much, you should shelve your pride and just go and confess it. Believe me – you’ll feel a whole lot better getting it off your chest.

Good luck and God bless

Thank you so much, friend!!
I have been to confession many times.
I think it is a beautiful thing and it always briings me such peace.
But…
even though I am truly sorry for this sin every time I confess it, I still commit this sin regularly.
I am hoping there is a way to break the habit.
I hate feeling this way.
And I do thank you for your reply and advice!!
Karen
p.s. Welcome to the Catholic church, “new guy”!

 

[arewethereyet]

One of our priests spoke about confession in his homily recently and reminded us that there is nothing we can say that will surprise our priests. They’ve heard it all! I understand your concerns - I’ve been worried about certain things too. But he’s so gentle and soft-spoken, and I’ve been so glad to talk with him.

Thanks, friend!!
Your priest sounds like the one I made my first confession with. He was beautiful. I think I will talk to the one priest at my church. He is gentle too.
Karen

 

[arewethereyet]

I went to confession last year after not going for over 10 years. Now I know that we should not sin because it hurts God, but I have also found that because a few of my sins were very embarressing to confess, that has been enough to stop me from committing them again–I don’t want to have to ever confess any of them again! So, maybe not the “right” reason for avoiding these particular sins, but at least I am.

MAMom

Thanks, friend!!!
I’ll keep your advice in mind.
Karen

 

[arewethereyet]

Karen, just blurt it out! Say it first. Maybe whine a little about how embarrassed you are.
Say what you wrote in the post about giving bad example to your child. When you say it in confession, you receive specific graces to help you with the sins you confess. Don’t miss out on these!

I had an embarrassing one last time. I said I knew how silly it was, but it was really coming between me and God. The priest even chuckled a little, but it was OK. Then as I prayed about it throughout this week, I have seen that what seemed so silly then was really a symptom of something bigger and more important. I know that is the grace of the Sacrament working in me. Don’t miss out on this grace!!

I’ll pray for you to be able to say it. Will you pray for me, too?

Betsy

Thanks, Betsy!!
And of course I’ll pray for you!
I was unaware of the graces that could be mine from sharing all that I have here with the priest!
I didn’t think of it like that.
Thanks for sharing that.
I’m actually really looking forward to talking with my priest!
I did leave a message on his voicemail this morning.
I did go to confession last Saturday but I seem to be struggling with this one regardless of confessing it.
Thanks for the encouragement…
Karen

 

[arewethereyet]

While the sacrament of reconciliation ranks up there with a visit to the dentist office, I am glad of it.

It keeps me on the straight and narrow–sometimes I’ll be tempted, and in the back of my head, I’ll think, “Do I really want to have to confess this to a priest?” which sometimes does the trick in curbing the particular temptation.

Take Care,

Barbara

Thanks, Barbara!!!
That’s something to think about.
Karen

 

[arewethereyet]

Priest’s have heard about everything. Just tell him, it’s not like he’s going to phone your dh (hehe I actually got to use that term!) and tell on you.

Thanks…that’s cute!!
But actually my husband and son are very aware of my sin.
Karen

 

[DallasCatholic]

I would second the (name removed by moderator)ut given by guanophore as well as all of the people who recommend going to your Priest in the confessional. We all struggle with sin, and we all have those sins that are habitual. The first step is to confess and receive absolution. The second step (for me, at least) is to try and reduce the frequency. I do this by reducing/eliminating the things that trigger that sin, by praying and by trying to replace the bad habits with something good.

We had a Redemptorist Priest who preached at our Parish mission two years ago. In one of his talks he suggested that if you had habitual sins you needed to really examine them and try to determine what was the “root”. His contention was that some, if not all, habitual sins were branches from some “root” sin and until that was addressed the habitual sins would continue. For example, in my life, anger, taking the Lord’s name in vain these are all the result of the sin of Pride in my life. Working on my humility has greatly reduced those habitual sins.

 

[arewethereyet]

It is good to confess these stubborn little sins too, and ask the priest for guidance. I find it helpful, when tempted, to pray outloud, the act of contrition, rosary, or prayers to a saint who struggled with that. You also need to get the triggers out of your home. If there are physical things that set it off, take them out.

Thanks, friend!!
I have thought about saying a Hail Mary when I feel the urge to sin this particular sin.
I think I will try that.
One of the triggers is my preteens attitude with me.
He is your typical 12 yr old…sarcastic.
Very sweet at times but still sarcastic.
So even though he is a trigger I better not remove him!!!
LOL
But seriously I don’t want to point the finger.
I am the one choosing to sin and I think I should accept responsibility because I am making the choice.
So thanks again…I think some extra prayers may help!!!
Karen

 

[lizaanne]

I love this quote from the little pocket Guide to Confession that I use:

*"Satan loves sin and hates the grace of Confession that comes to us through the power of the cross of Christ. The devil will try to stop you from going to Confession. He will make you feel frightened, embarrassed, proud, filled with despair or anger. The holy Bishop, Saint Antoninus said, **“The devil takes our shame away so that we sin with ease and then gives it back when we think about going to confession.” *In other words the suppression of shame that makes sin possible, flares up again to make Confession seem impossible."

~Liza