Emergency please help me

  • Thread starter Thread starter Corinne3
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
Corinne3 said:
What a blessing you are to me today! I didn’t know there was such a thing as groups here. Yes, I want to be a member there…just went there and clicked join.

Thank you friend:thumbsup:
Click to expand...
Corrine,
      • VERY IMPORTANT INFORMATION ABOUT GROUPS * * *
One thing you might want to get clear…

The “Impurity Addiction Support Group” in my sig is probably NOT the best one for you. It is for people who are struggling against THEIR OWN sins of impurity. The population of the group is mostly men (like me) and a very few women with the same issues. (Most of us are a very long way toward recovery compared to your husband, but you may be offended by our frank discussions of our problems and stumbles.) You may get some insight from men who have struggled with problems in this area, but I think there is a better choice for you…

There is a support group started by bmaj called “Women Suffering Because of Unchastity” that is probably more for your situation – for women who have been hurt by their husband or boyfriends sins of impurity. That link is here:

forums.catholic-questions.org/group.php?groupid=380

Here is their description:
“If you are a woman whose husband, boyfriend, or someone you care about has viewed inappropriate, unchaste materials or continues to view them and you are trying to cope with the hurt you’re feeling, please join us for support and suggestions to help you.
(Women only please. Content is viewable by members only.)”

Praying for us all,
  • curl
 
Corinne3 said:
Is it worth it to stay in an unfaithful marriage just for the money, and/or inheritance?
Click to expand...
No! No! No! No!

You want reasons?
1)They may live longer than you think.
2) They may develop medical problems that would drain their finances.
3) Your husband may escalate to violence long before then.
4) Your husband, his parents, or other relatives may take legal action that would eliminate your portion of that inheritance.
Shall I continue???
5) You might not survive many more years of this psychological abuse.
6) Your children deserve much better from you.
7) The in-laws might spend it all.
We could fill many posts with more reasons

When you get advice from random people that contradicts the advice of your priests, pastors, and Catholic friends from this thread, why do you even bother listening to them? Someone who has been married three times obviously does NOT share your values!

You’ve gotten great advice for weeks and weeks from people who know how to get you out of this evil situation – Please listen to them!

Praying for you this weekend,
  • curl
 
If you stay for the $$, they will live forever. You can’t take it day by day now - what makes you think that you could last a couple of years. Evidently your friend doesn’t understand what you are going through…

Have you started to decide what to sell?
 
curl said:
No! No! No! No!

You want reasons?
1)They may live longer than you think.
2) They may develop medical problems that would drain their finances.
3) Your husband may escalate to violence long before then.
4) Your husband, his parents, or other relatives may take legal action that would eliminate your portion of that inheritance.
Shall I continue???
5) You might not survive many more years of this psychological abuse.
6) Your children deserve much better from you.
7) The in-laws might spend it all.
We could fill many posts with more reasons

When you get advice from random people that contradicts the advice of your priests, pastors, and Catholic friends from this thread, why do you even bother listening to them? Someone who has been married three times obviously does NOT share your values!

You’ve gotten great advice for weeks and weeks from people who know how to get you out of this evil situation – Please listen to them!

Praying for you this weekend,
  • curl
Click to expand...
Dear Curl: You are right. Thank you so much!
 
curl said:
No! No! No! No!

You want reasons?
1)They may live longer than you think.
2) They may develop medical problems that would drain their finances.
3) Your husband may escalate to violence long before then.
4) Your husband, his parents, or other relatives may take legal action that would eliminate your portion of that inheritance.
Shall I continue???
5) You might not survive many more years of this psychological abuse.
6) Your children deserve much better from you.
7) The in-laws might spend it all.
We could fill many posts with more reasons

When you get advice from random people that contradicts the advice of your priests, pastors, and Catholic friends from this thread, why do you even bother listening to them? Someone who has been married three times obviously does NOT share your values!

You’ve gotten great advice for weeks and weeks from people who know how to get you out of this evil situation – Please listen to them!

Praying for you this weekend,
  • curl
Click to expand...
Dear Curl and other friends;

Thank you. I just cannot stay, being emotionally/verbally abused in hopes of my in-laws inheritance one day. I just do not work this way. Maybe my friend does, but I do not. She said to me today I should stick it out for 10 years just to get his parents’ money. I simply just cannot do this friends, maybe I should but I cannot. My h is totally abusive, emotionally/verbally and I simply cannot live with a husband with whom I am estranged because of his infidelity any longer. I just cannot. It is his fault not mine. Yes of course I was never perfect as a wife, but still, it was his choice to be unfaithful not mine. I used to adore him non-stop, cherish him to yin yang/ do anything for him, etc. he was my best friend, my everything//////////now he is a pitiful loser…and nothing more…he still, as of last night admitted strip club going is “only adultery to an extent”…b/c it was not IC well it’s nothing…

Friends, pray for me this weekend cuz I need it. *I am going to the court Monday to file an RO.
 
Thank you. I do feel this particular friends’ advice is of the world, not of the Lord, sadly. Yet she does have some valid points.

I remain confused, but then again not, as I need to follow my heart. Yet follow the Lord MORE. God is telling me my husband’s heart is not with me. It is with strippers and with loose woman. This breaks my heart beyond belief.
 
Corinne, did you get my message about this probably more appropriate group?
curl said:
There is a support group started by bmaj called “Women Suffering Because of Unchastity” that is probably more for your situation – for women who have been hurt by their husband or boyfriends sins of impurity. That link is here:

forums.catholic-questions.org/group.php?groupid=380

Here is their description:
“If you are a woman whose husband, boyfriend, or someone you care about has viewed inappropriate, unchaste materials or continues to view them and you are trying to cope with the hurt you’re feeling, please join us for support and suggestions to help you.
(Women only please. Content is viewable by members only.)”

Praying for us all,
  • curl
Click to expand...
 
Thank you all. I am feeling so sick now b/c of all that has happened lately that I am napping now.

:o

Shalom~
 
Corinne- I am still not sure you are going to get a restraining order - you may only get a kick out order especially with no documented incidences of physical violence. You may really want to get a lawyer at this point. Once you are talking about who gets to stay in the house you are talking about splitting up marital assets. You cannot impose religious values on a secular system. Unfortunate but true. This is why the best bet is to get a lawyer and build the case - the best the lawyer can build the case the more the lawyer can take the stress off of you. Also some Archdioceses also have Canon law advocates that will be able to help with the anullment proceedings if there is an issue with validity at the beginning after the divorce is final. God bless you - now that the decision is made do not go back on it - but get that lawyer.
 
Corinne3 said:
Dear Curl and other friends;

Thank you. I just cannot stay, being emotionally/verbally abused in hopes of my in-laws inheritance one day. I just do not work this way. Maybe my friend does, but I do not. She said to me today I should stick it out for 10 years just to get his parents’ money. I simply just cannot do this friends, maybe I should but I cannot. My h is totally abusive, emotionally/verbally and I simply cannot live with a husband with whom I am estranged because of his infidelity any longer. I just cannot. It is his fault not mine. Yes of course I was never perfect as a wife, but still, it was his choice to be unfaithful not mine. I used to adore him non-stop, cherish him to yin yang/ do anything for him, etc. he was my best friend, my everything//////////now he is a pitiful loser…and nothing more…he still, as of last night admitted strip club going is “only adultery to an extent”…b/c it was not IC well it’s nothing…

Friends, pray for me this weekend cuz I need it. *I am going to the court Monday to file an RO.
Click to expand...
You need to consult an attorney, but my understanding is that community property does not include gifts or inheritances received by one party during the marriage. In other words, if you’re holding on hoping to get half of an inheritance, you’re holding on for nothing.

As one former poster pointed out - you’re teaching your male children how to treat women - and you’re also teaching your female children what they should accept in a relationship. You have an obligation to do the right thing for your kids. Quit complaining and whining and get to an attorney’s office - go to the legal aid office if that’s all you can afford. Don’t rely on legal advice from friends or from anonymous people on the Internet.
 
Corinne3 said:
Please let me hear from you friends. I was shocked by what my friend said to me. Just leave my h in the home, and wait essentially for his parents to die, and then I will be entitled to a big portion of the money. I think this makes sense, but I do not know how I can tolerate it, being married to an infidel for the next 10 years or so, until his folks kick the bucket.

WHAT are your thoughts?\

Is it worth it to stay in an unfaithful marriage just for the money, and/or inheritance?

I’d love all opinions.

Thank you.

*** i WANT TO LEAVE MY INFIDEL HUSBAND SHOULD I? SHOULD I CONSIDER INHERITANCE HERE?
Click to expand...
Corinne: Is there a price for your happiness? For your sanity? Whether or not you should leave your husband is something you will need to discern carefully. Me, personally? If I were as miserable as you sound, no amount of money would make me stay. Beyond which, Corrine, you’re making quite a jump to assume your wealthy in-laws will leave your husband their estate. Suppose they leave it elsewhere? How will you feel if you’ve spent 10more years in misery for a payout that never comes?

Beyond those very practical aspects, I would discourage you from doing this from a spiritual aspect. Your husband’s behavior has already cheapened a holy covenant. Do you really want your behavior or actions to stoop to his level?

I also would discourage you from filing a restraining order. My reasoning is thus: Why do you really want one? Is it to protect yourself from your husband’s abuse or is it to punish him? Don’t misunderstand. I’m not trying to diminish what he’s done. It’s inexcusable. But, if you do choose to proceed with a divorce filing, it likely will not help your cause.

Good luck and God bless. Prayers for you.
 
I am going to take a break from talking about my marital problems on here for a while so I can figure out things on my own. You all have been so wonderful kind and giving me advice and all, but ultimately it is ME who has to decide what to do. Talking about it constantly, daily, complaining, etc. isn’t helping the situation. Everyone gives me different advice that it is so confusing. I need to pray, discern, and seek what the Lord wants for me, my kids, and ultimately my future.

Thank you all so much. There is much to consider now in my life.

With gratitude~

Corinne~
 
I am a very optimistic person normally, but are you seriously still with this man? I hate to say this, but you need to re-evaluate your life.

First- I’d recommend talking to a priest, and explaining your whole story. Get his suggestions.

Second- I’d say read “10 things that women do to mess up their lives” by Dr. Laura Schlessinger.

books.google.com/books?id=5xxVbFBJOh8C&dq=10+things+women+do+to+mess+up+their+lives&printsec=frontcover&source=bn&hl=en&ei=IqY6TMzCFcL38AbZrMWnBg&sa=X&oi=book_result&ct=result&resnum=4&ved=0CCkQ6AEwAw#v=onepage&q=10%20things%20women%20do%20to%20mess%20up%20their%20lives&f=false

or watch “Fireproof” and buy the “Fireproof journal” or whatever they got out now.

Third- If this guy isn’t going to change, he won’t work to change, and you have been faithful, I say if you are catholic - get an anullment. LEAVE THIS GUY - FOREVER! ANd move on with your life.

I will pray for you. Good luck!
 
bmaj said:
I don’t know how you’ve been able to put up with this for as long as you have. It’s very sad and upsetting to hear about his lack of respect for you as a wife. Emotional abuse is still definitely abuse. It sounds like your counselor has been trying to help also which is very good.

Have you been able to talk with a priest at all? If not, please try. I know the sacrament of matrimony is sacred and “for better or for worse,” but I firmly believe Our Lord does not want us to be doormats either. Please also keep praying in earnest for the strength and courage to do whatever is necessary.

Sending a prayer your way. May God keep you in His loving embrace through all of this.
Click to expand...
I agree with this sentiment also, if he is being abusive talk to your counselor and encourage him to do the same.
I am praying for you and your husband.
PRAYER TO SAINT JOSEPH
TO OBTAIN A CONVERSION
O glorious patriarch
who merited to be called just by the Holy Spirit,
I urgently recommend to you the soul of

(State the name here),

which Jesus redeemed at the price of His Precious Blood.
You know how deplorable is the state
and how unhappy the life
of those who have banished this loving Saviour
from their hearts,
and how greatly they are exposed to the danger
of losing Him eternally.
Permit not, I beseech you,
that a soul so dear to me
should continue any longer in its evil ways.
Preserve it from the danger that threatens it.
Touch the heart of this prodigal child,
and conduct them back
to the bosom of the fondest of fathers.
Abandon them not, I implore you,
until you have opened to him
the gates of the heavenly city,
where they will praise and bless you
throughout eternity for the happiness
which he will owe to your powerful intercession.

“Life with Joseph,” Rev. Paul J. Gorman,
Nihil Obstat: Richard J. Schuler,
Imprimatur: Archbishop John R. Roach, D.D.
 
Did Jesus take Satan’s offer to give him riches of the world?

Jesus chose to remain poor and humble.
 
Corinne3 said:
I am going to take a break from talking about my marital problems on here for a while so I can figure out things on my own. You all have been so wonderful kind and giving me advice and all, but ultimately it is ME who has to decide what to do. Talking about it constantly, daily, complaining, etc. isn’t helping the situation. Everyone gives me different advice that it is so confusing. I need to pray, discern, and seek what the Lord wants for me, my kids, and ultimately my future.

Thank you all so much. There is much to consider now in my life.

With gratitude~

Corinne~
Click to expand...
Our Pastor really likes Retrouvaille, and, is in fact there with couples on retreat this week. I am grateful for his belief in marriage. It seemed for awhile before he came here, that divorce and annullment ruled the day at our parish. Not saying anything bad about the pastor before, just like to see the good spirit influencing people. It is amazing what miracles can be wrought in other people. I have a sibling who I, of course, cannot “divorce.” She has been in opposition to Christ even as she attends and receives HC. Time has mellowed her, and, I feel somewhat beaten by the years (more than a decade.) Some people are very self-serving, self, self, and that is why divorce occurs. I would suggest regular confession during hard times such as what you are having. I know that I couldn’t talk about the abuse I was receiving, until after it was lessened. Like being caught in a tornado, by myself. I don’t like being so close to someone who does not listen to me, and, I’ve become quite morose about it.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top