Encourage Someone to Remain Catholic?

[Rawb]

I have a friend who has decided she’d like to get Confirmed, mainly, I suspect, in case she decides she wants to get married someday. She’s asked me to be her Sponsor and I’ve agreed, and told her I’d attend the classes she needs to take with her as often as I’m possible. She’s a cradle Catholic with a Baptist mother who went through a period of several years of not attending church, or attending a local Assembly of God when she felt like going to church. She goes to church many Sundays now, if I go with her. However, here are the things she doesn’t believe in:

Confession
Purgatory
That Abortion is wrong
That Artificial Contraception is wrong
That premarital sex is wrong
That missing Mass on Sunday/Holy Days is wrong

And thing’s she’s alluded to not believing in:

The necessity of Baptism
The infallibility of the Pope
That the Catholic Church is the church established by Christ, the only true church.
That Mary remained a virgin forever.

Sometimes I feel like just asking her why she remains Catholic. She doesn’t seem to believe ANYTHING specifically Catholic. I know she likes the Mass and she liked Pope John Paul II a lot, and she always planned on raising her kids in the church. I’m wondering if I should ask her to really consider why she wants to be Confirmed and take the onslaught of anger, or be her Sponsor and hope someday she realizes she’s wrong (as little likely as I think that is). It seems a lot of the time to be so random what she believes and doesn’t; She’s willing to accept she has to get married in the church, but she flatly states she does not believe in purgatory. I think she believes in the Real Presence, but doesn’t think Missing Mass is wrong.

So should I ask her to seriously consider why she wants to be Confirmed, or just be her sponsor and try to help her very slowly?

 

[puzzleannie]

be her sponsor, through the classes and prep period not just for the ceremony, to answer questions and model the life of the true believer and disciple.

 

[Petergee]

be her sponsor, through the classes and prep period not just for the ceremony, to answer questions and model the life of the true believer and disciple.

I agree. And if neither she nor the RCIA leader brings up for discussion the points of Catholic doctrine which you know/suspectshe does not believe, make sure you bring them up.
Maybe she wants to get confirmed because deep down she wants to believe these things but has never had an opportunity to fully discuss and be informed about the Church’s rock-solid reasons for each of these doctrines. Doing the classes should let her decide that either she accepts everything the church teaches, or that she can’t (yet) accept Catholicism.
She can’t be confirmed unless she is willing to solemnly swear that she believes **all **that the Catholic Church believes.
Even if, God forbid, the priest is willing to confirm her despite knowing she does not believe some doctrines, you should make sure she understands that by going through with the confirmation in this state she will be telling a lie to God.

 

[rwoehmke]

She can’t be confirmed unless she is willing to solemnly swear that she believes **all **that the Catholic Church believes.
Even if, God forbid, the priest is willing to confirm her despite knowing she does not believe some doctrines, you should make sure she understands that by going through with the confirmation in this state she will be telling a lie to God.

I don’t recall that Catholics being confirmed make this solemn oath unless they come in with an RCIA Class. Please confirm this fact one way or the other as I am currently at loss on this tidbit of knowledge.

Yes, I would agree with those above who say to ride through this in close, intimate contact with her. Remember at some point down the line you will be required to recommend her for Confirmation. That would be tough for me to do if things don’t change significantly.

Doesn’t this really belong in Liturgy and Sacraments?

 

[REV1217]

I agree with what the others have said – go ahead and be her sponsor. However according to your list there are a lot of things that she does not want to believe in. One thing that you must do is be honest with her. If she still holds onto not assenting to those truths you will have to tell her that in all honesty it will be next to impossible for her to live out the Catholic faith while at the same time not believing in so much.

Second, as being her sponsor, say a lot of prayers for her that Christ will work in her through her preparation.

 

[Petergee]

I don’t recall that Catholics being confirmed make this solemn oath unless they come in with an RCIA Class. Please confirm this fact one way or the other as I am currently at loss on this tidbit of knowledge.

They all certainly are required to publicly recite the Creed: “I believe in…Blessed Mary, **ever **virgin…one holy Catholic and apostolic Church”.
And I think the Church requires that those who have not been practising the faith go to the Sacrament of Reconciliation before
being confirmed.

 

[po18guy]

Every time that “confession” is mentioned prominently in the list of things not agreed with, you can be assured that SIN is clouding her judgment. Unconfessed sin is a heavy burden and weakens one, making the lies of the evil one seem plausible.

She needs to understand the nature of sin, and what a well-formed conscience is. She may not have a well-formed conscience, since many of her disagreements with church doctrine are strictly moral issues. She is thinking in the legal sense, which is amoral.

If she has been immersed in popular culture, she has probably embraced its precepts, which are that everything is OK. The catechism can help here, as it clearly explains the reasoning behind doctrine.

Stick with her, as she is not a fully formed person yet. That is why the Lord placed you in her life. It’s your turn at bat.

Christ’s peace.